Taking a deep breath I tightly hold the doorknob and like every single day from past three weeks my hands weren't steady and they were painfully cold.

I can do this, I thought to myself.

You have to be strong for them, His face came in front of my eyes and like yesterday and the day before that I gulped in the lump forming in my throat.

Twisting the knob I opened the door, and took a step inside the similar white room and heard the slow beeps of the machine telling me that he is still here with me. Getting further inside I closed the door behind me, Sabih was sleeping on the couch in front of his bed and couples of coffee cups were on the coffee table. Placing my bag on the arm chair I walked towards the bed where he was lying deep in his sleep, by looking at him it feels like if I'll call him or shake him he will quickly open his eyes and flash me the smile I love the most but then the logical part of me makes me remember that it's not scientifically possible. Placing a light kiss on his forehead I whisper what I have been whispering from past twenty two days.

I love you please wake up.

Turning back to the couch where Sabih was still fast asleep, I shook him by his shoulder and he quickly woke up, I was told by others that he is a heavy sleeper but in past three weeks he had been alert every second and I would always be very thankful of him.

"When did you got here?" he asked sitting and rubbing his eyes.

"Five minute at top," I said passing him the car key we have rented for the stay.

"Oh..." he looked around the room resting his eyes at Wali for few seconds.

"Mama isn't here today she would come with baba at the meeting hour. Her headache got worst last night," I sighed, "please make sure that she rest and you take some good rest too." he nodded, "I mean it! take some good rest. Office work can be done when you get back home, Sabih, and why don't you stay--"

"We go through this everyday! Bhabi I am fine and I am coming back tonight. You know that he is my brother right? And the way he had always been there for everyone, this is the least I can do." He said with a reassuring smile and I nodded.

After few seconds of comfortable silence where the two of us were left in our own thoughts Sabih took his departure and now I was alone. Slowly getting up I took my place on the seat beside Wali's bed, resting my back I looked at the monitor which was showing his steady heart beats, and then I took his hand they were warm like everyday, if it wouldn't be for the multiple wires attached to him and the nasal cannula for oxygen he looked perfectly normal, just in his deep slumber but a logical part of us keep reminding us of the harsh reality. Rubbing my thumb to the back of his hand I looked at our intertwined fingers, call me hopeless but finally it feels like my hand are holding the right ones.

Flashback

Dressed in a long royal blue gown while a blue silk hijab wrapped around my head I walked down the stairs with perfect amount of make up, it wouldn't be wrong to say that I have tried best for tonight, mascara was making my eyes look perfectly big while my eye shadow were complementing my red lip gloss. Picking up the flow of my dress I took every step carefully in five inch long heels. He was waiting for my by the door dressed in blue formal suit which he chose to match with mine, his hair were styled in perfect quiff.

"I am ready!" I said as I got closer and he turned to look at me with the same coldness I am trying to become accustom to.

"Took you long enough." he said shaking his head, "seriously! Take of that cloth from your head! I told you tonight is important."

"Adnan I can't get out without my hijab!" I said firmly meeting his gaze and saw annoyance covering his angular features. With a bitter silence he unlocked the door and stormed out of the apartment and I reluctantly followed him. It's been three months after our wedding and three months of realization that he isn't the person I thought he was, he was forced into this marriage and I am nothing but a burden. Yesterday when he asked me about joining him on this official dinner I was beyond shocked and end up thinking that maybe all my efforts, my hard work of getting a good side out of him is finally working but I can't be more wrong because how stiffly he is moving in front of me is a clear reminder that I would be just there to put up a show.

The drive to the hotel where the dinner was held was done in complete silence and I was ready to take any chance to be anywhere other than this place, when the car stopped I looked up to find the car parked in front of the grand entrance of the hotel.

"Keep smiling, this night is important for me," he said in his cold tone and I nodded looking ahead, "Pretend that we are typically in love, I am sure it won't be hard for you," he gave me his bitter smile and soon there was a valet on his side. As I stepped out of the car remembering his command I took a step forward while he joined me on my right side flashing a smile, a smile he gave me on the day of our nikkah, a smile I mistook as a genuine gesture. Then looking at me he did something I wouldn't have every think of, leaning towards me he kissed top of my head slowly and took my hands in his colder ones, they were always cold and hard.

And the naive me which lost her heart beat on his moves didn't know that they were just a show and completely fake.

-------

There were hushed whispers and someone was stroking my head, my eyes were feeling heavy yet I tried to opened them after blinking for few minutes I rubbed my eyes and adjusted myself on the arm chair. I felt asleep! A sudden panic rushed inside me and I quickly stood up.

"Calm down, beta!" I turned to find mama standing beside the arm chair I was sitting on and baba sitting on the couch.

"Asalam O Alikum, when did you two get here?" I asked looking at my wrist watch which was telling me that I slept only for half an hour.

"Few minutes ago!" Baba replied with a smile and I nodded. "You can go back--"

"Nah I'll wait till meeting hours are over, Did Sabih dropped you two?" I asked moving towards the couch and letting mama sit on my previous place.

"Yes he did, what did the doctors say today?" baba asked me in a more silent whisper as I sat beside him and we both noticed mama taking his hand placing a kiss on the back of it and whispering duas.

"He is progressing, they still don't know when he'll gain conscious. I asked about the temperature though, they said it's a good point according to them slight fever is the side affect of the medicines they are giving him so his body is responding to it and it's our another hope." I replied and baba nodded looking at his wife and son with the most pure form of love in his eyes.

As the time for maghrib prayers and ending of meeting hours strolled in baba and I were asked to leave the room so mama can stay inside with him as an attendant till Sabih gets here. Baba went to the near by masjid for prayers while I went to wait in the waiting room as I wasn't supposed to pray so I just sat in the corner reciting durood shareef. I was concentrating on every word I was reciting when I heard some words, incoherent words but as my mind keep registering them it wasn't much hard to realize that they were directed towards me, opening my eyes I looked around to find an old lady and a much younger version of her most probably her daughter sitting across me and talking in hushed whispers. I shook my head as if trying to remove disturbing thoughts from my mind and closed my eyes again but as it is the human nature that once something gains our attention its hard to step back, and usually these attentions are easily captivated by acts like sinful gossiping or eve's dropping though right now I wasn't actually eve's dropping because the people talking about me and my husband were right in front of me but it was still hurtful, and maybe that's why Allah (S.W.T) forbidden us from doing it, because we might get hurt so badly that we start having negative feelings and negativity can't do nothing but destroy us. This woman don't know me yet she tried to ask my story from a nurse and the way she was so confidently gossiping about how less there are chances of Wali waking up and how stupid of me it is to hold on to him, and how ungrateful he would be once he wakes up. Every word was piercing through my chest and my eyes were burning with the unshed tears. If I want to I could stand up and put up a good fight, create a scene and then storm out of here but I was weak. I didn't have enough energy after getting continuous pitiful glances and consoling messages, till how much your existence can actually endure the pain?

As I got the message from Sabih about his arrival I gathered my belongings and exited the room whispering to myself that there is no power mightier than Allah and no doubt he will ease my pain but now the nagging feeling which has made it way in my heart was doing nothing but giving me a headache.

The drive back to the hotel was done in silence other than something baba would ask us or tell us, the three of us were gone deep in our own thoughts and by the time I got to my room, my head started throbbing with migraine pain. I quickly changed into my pajamas which consist of Wali's T-shirt and my years old trouser as soon as I got into my comfortable clothes I sighed and walked towards my bag which had my painkillers, gulping in two tablets now the only thing I was left with was to go to bed but sleep was far way, I knew mama would be coming to call me for dinner in a while but the headache I was having I was sure nothing would stay in my stomach so calling mama's cellphone I told her not to wait for me and have dinner. Getting on the bed I closed my eyes ignoring all the disturbing thoughts and focusing on the good memories I have.

I woke up to find myself standing somewhere which looked like a beautiful park, big and beautiful green trees and neatly trimmed and wet grass, my feet were bare and I was dressed up in one of my childhood dress, the long lavender colored dress was covering my body till my ankles and my long sleeves have small beads embroidered to it, the dress was no doubt the most beautiful piece of clothing, I was feeling as if I am lighter than a feather, there was calmness, a calmness which I was in dire need of, I looked at my surrounding again and just now I noticed that the area was also surrounded by bushes of different beautiful flowers which were filling the air with fragrance and the same bushes were leading to somewhere and I decided to follow it, picking up the flow of my dress I walked towards the opening, turning around every corner I finally stopped when I heard someone calling me, my pace got fastened itself and my heart was beating faster, the way it was beating when they took Wali for operation- Wali the voice which just called me sounded like him- my thoughts got distracted when I heard my name again but in an all to familiar female voice, voice of my mother. Now I was running without knowing where these bushes were leading me.

What was happening?

Where am I?

All my questions were answered when I saw a bench several feet away from me and on that bench my mother and my husband were seated, they both were in between of a conversation with a wide smile on their face. Ammi was dressed in a light green and white dress and a light green dupatta covering her head as elegantly as I had always seen her and Wali was wearing his white shalwar kameez. Till now they both haven't seen me so I quickly took a step forward but it felt like that my legs are frozen, they weren't moving and there is a barrier between me and them, a barrier stopping me from joining them. I can look them but they can't although I was able to hear there voices. I tried again but failed and it felt like...

That they are in front of me but they are actually not here, they are somewhere else, somewhere I can't reach, like another world.

My heart skipped a beat and I tried again and failed, a silent tear slipped down my cheeks and I was feeling completely helpless. I called out to them with the hope that maybe like I could listen them, they could listen me too but all my efforts were in vain. I was left there standing, looking at them helplessly only hearing them call me when the realization hit me, they weren't calling me! They were talking about me and whenever they are taking my name I can hear it!

Ya Allah what should I do?

I was thinking of ways to get there when I saw someone joining them, dressed in a similar white shalwar kameez was none other than baba, my baba!

'Baba please help me!' I cried out and as if he actually listened me he looked up towards my direction and I saw a faint smile on his face, then he looked back at Wali, patting his shoulder I heard him say,

"Go back! Khadija is waiting for you!"

------

ASALAM O ALIKUM!!!

Well how are you all??? How was the chapter?? Did you guys like it? VOTE to show some love and support to Khadija and Comment to let me know what you thought of it, maybe some messages for WALI??

Well we have finally hit 30 CHAPTERS! H.U.G.E! So I was thinking if you guys want a bonus chapter before chapter 31? 

YES? NO?

If yes! So I am gonna do it in some other character's perspective, other than Wali and Khadija. Comment the name of the character you want to hear from!

AND 

IF You guys have some question for some specific character and you want them to answer it! SO HERE'S THE CHANCE. Before we start the next half of the story with Chapter 31 lets do this fun thing! 

Till the next time,

TAKE CARE.

Allah Hafiz.

Zehra :)