It was after Maghrib (sunset prayer) when I returned back home to find it completely drowned in silence which was unusual because when my parents are around because either some of mom friends along with their husbands are here the hour they enter this place or dad likes to watch TV pretty much so you can hear some news, bollywood movies or anything. After spending the entire day in the park or mosque, I was finally feeling my head in place; I usually like to call Abdullah Bhai when I'm just unstable but as he was in Pakistan so I was not able to have contact with him.

"You are home?" I heard mom coming downstairs, while I was sitting in living area, my head laid back on the couch.

"Yeah mom, in living room." I called for her; she just knows when I'm back, the second I stepped inside the home, even when I was used to live in Virginia and she would be busy or sleeping she would welcome me with a warm smile and the same phrase 'You are home?'

"How was your day?" she asked sitting beside me running her soft fingers through my hairs.

"Usual," I quietly lied without looking at her.

"Well I called you few times but you usually pick up..." I could feel her gaze on me; she does not believe me, who would?

"Well I had some meetings and then some other errands and on the top of that Yahya was continuously calling asking me about arrangements and all so I turned my phone off." I calmly replied filling her up with lies and then the silence fell between us, the type which itself demand for some words.

"Where is dad?" I broke the silence after few minutes when I was sure that she won't speak again.

"Sleeping," she was looking at our hands "You have grown so much." She whispered in a low broken voice.

"Yeah mom! thirty-one years young!" I chuckled lightening the tension which was forming in the room; she smiled and nodded "thirty-one years young!" She repeated and then there was silence again.

"Wali, is there anything bothering you? I don't know but I have a strong feeling that something is going on with you, we have been away but I'm your mother, Wali," She took hold of my hands intertwining our fingers "We have been through hardest situation together, honey. You were the only one who kept me alive all those time ago and now if you are going through something, I want you to tell me, maybe I haven't been much of a good mother in past years, but I love you Wali and I want to know what is going on with you?" Her words were more than painful and her eyes were glassy.

"Maa, you are the best mom! Yes we have been through a lot and in every situation you have proved yourself as my anchor and I couldn't be more thankful! There is nothing, I promise you! Believe me and relax your mind." I smiled at her as brightest as I can and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"Then why Khadija's name turned your face as white as paper and don't lie to me Wali you weren't at your office today," Her eyes were demanding "I know you know Khadija from university but I never knew there was something going on, is that why you don't want to get married? Do you like her? We can talk to Tasneem, Yahya can ask his wife as Khadija is Rafia's cousin. I know that after Layla you wouldn't want to get married but, honey not every girl is a gold-digger like her!" She was looking at me with hope, her statement were half true and half shaking me up.

"I promise there is nothing," I gulped in harder and replied as calmly as I could, composing myself because I can't tell her that how even her name can stop me right on my track, and marrying her? Oh mother! You don't know your son doesn't deserve a woman like her. "Well I guess you should wake up dad and we'll go for dinner outside, there is a very good Halal restaurant I know of and we have couple of busy days ahead so I don't want you two to miss that place out." I told her getting off the couch and collecting my stuff I went for my room before she could ask me anything else.

I entered my room which was completely filled in darkness, turning on the lights I went to sit on the edge of my bed and dialed Matt's number to get the update of the day, talking for about fifteen minutes and thanking him for handling the situation for me I ended the call and went inside the bathroom to freshen up myself though my mind was not stable again, it was rushing with thought, with harsh memories but I decided to let the cold water take over my senses, in the mild cold weather of March I was still enjoying the coldness. After thirty minutes I was ready and done with Isha namaz (night prayers) and decided to read Quran after I come back home and descended down stairs to find my parents busy in conversation.

"Ready?" I called for them clearing my head and smiling at the pair of them, my mom passed me a smile while dad stayed quiet and moved forward without any word, I looked at my mother who patted my back and we followed him out.

The drive was filled with silence and dinner gone by with few words which included the decision of menu so I decided to cheer them up.

"Dad do you think you can beat me in eating meetha paan?" I slyly grinned and looked at my father who was looking everywhere but me, I know that he likes meetha paan, something he had got from his mother, as I speak, my mother chuckled.

"Tell your son I'm his father!" He spoke directing to my mom but a now faint smile on his lips, we were still in the diner waiting for the bill to come.

"Maa, I guess you should tell your husband that he is going to lose." I smirked as I know my work was happening.

"Ask him how does he even know that I like it?"

"Tell him, I'm his son."

"Tell him he'll lose!"

"Well then tell him I would like to see that, because I always win." I said while giving the bill and standing.

"Tell him game on!" He said smirking and going out of the diner.

"You know how to make him smile," my mother kissed my cheeks.

"That's the least I can do." I said looking at the door from which dad just stepped out and then smiled at her, we were soon on our way but before going home I bought around twenty meetha paan and for that I went to Coney Island Avenue first which was a best place and near to Bay Ridge where I reside to find all the desi things possible.

"So are you ready Mr. Zulfiqar Ahmed?" I said getting inside the apartment and turning the lights on.

"Ask for yourself!" He smirked and went to the living room to sit and I followed him.

"Mom please bring two plates." I called to her and sat beside him placing the packet in front of him.

"Ready? On the count of three... one... two... three." My mother cheered and we started our race. After such a long day this was feeling like the best I have done in days and seeing two most important people smile on my little stupid acts was more than just exciting my heart.

My dad was already pass six and here I was struggling with the third one, my mouth was dripping red saliva and my shirt was in damage-beyond-repair kind of condition, goodness I was a mess! And he was chewing this thing as if he is eating bread. Completing the third I ran for the washroom for sixth time, for spitting and cleaning my mouth which was all red and my teeth were proof of what I have eaten, thank god I had already told everyone that I won't be coming to office for following two days and will be joining them on Monday or else this disastrous smell would not leave me. After cleaning up I went back to the living room and my father was sitting back indicating through his finger that he has ninth one in his mouth, I looked at him with my eyes bulging out,

"Dad if you were hungry we would have ordered more food! why are you filling yourself with leaves?" I sarcastically remarked faking my shocked reaction.

"Admit it that you lose!" He mocked me.

"Oh majesty! You proved yourself as the king of meetha pan!" I sat on my knees in front of him and then the next second he rushed to the washroom and I burst out laughing my eyes were teary.

"You two our worst than kids!" my mother was also laughing and wiping the tears from the side of her eyes.

For the next couple of hours we sat and chatted about life, remember some beautiful memories and embarrassing moments and around eleven we called it a night, wishing goodnight to my parents I walked to my room changing into a comfortable T-shirt and sweat pants I perform wudhu (ablution) and taking Quran from the book rack I sat on armchair and start my daily recitation of three surah for the night and para (thirty part of quran) of the day which in total just took one hour Allhamdullilah and then placing Quran back on the rack I went on bed picking 'The Child Called It', which was shoved on my face two days ago by Matt but I started it last night, though I was half way through already but this book was keeping my thoughts captive and was distracting me from thinking about other things mainly because I have faced some situation like the writer in my past, thanks to the person I would never call my father, the person whose blood run inside my veins, the person because whom my mother and I had a dark past but then my mother married dad, who not even for once didn't made me feel that I'm not his own, who is the reason I have a name, the person who loves me more than a real father. The person I would always owe too. The person who gave me his name, his identity, my dad.

*Flashback- 26 years ago*

"Wali go and hide in the basement, go quick!" my mother rushed my fragile self down the stairs and running as fast as I could I got inside the dark, claustrophobically compact and cold basement and hid myself in a corner covering my ears. I could hear the faint noises of my father now, I was sure mom would be standing and listening to him and his bullshits, what a coward I was that I couldn't stand with my mother but what possibly a five year old version of me would have done? And then there were usual noises of something crashing, and then his loud thunderous roaring among which silent sobbing of my mother had vanished.

"Where is that pig of yours?" I heard his roar, he was near and I choked, covering my mouth with my palms, I prayed on every possible dua I knew and silently cried.

"He isn't h-home... he is ou-out with... with his friend." My mother soft voice replied, stuttering from his fear.

"What do you mean with his friends?" he roared again and then I heard her screaming and I don't know what boast inside maybe the fear of getting killed later on, I went out, or maybe it was that I wasn't able to breathe and that's the reason I'm claustrophobic and nyctophobic.

"I'm here!" I shouted coming out in my mother's defense so he would stop beating her and turn to me. He turned to look at me and then turned to her.

"You lied to me? How dare you?" he slapped her following by multiple other curses and slapping her more and then crushing a glass on her body, she screamed from pain and I ran to cover her with my small body and then he started beating me, with his feet, his hands and then first time my body felt the pain of hard wood, he beat me up with my baseball bat but after all I was his flesh and just got some fracture.

*End*

I breathed out and turned to have a glass of water and then like always my mind was flushed with the memory of the person I resemble and also the person I loathe.

*Flashback- 21 years ago*

"Mom?" I called her as I got inside our little house to find it in complete silence, though it always is in silence and it's just at night that when my father returns there are either sound of him yelling or throwing things or laugher of his and some of his girlfriends, it's the time when me and my mother stays in my room in the attic, talking to each other only in whispers so his guests could not listen us or just lay beside each other.

"Mama where are you?" I was scared when she didn't reply, what if he killed her? Or worst, what if she had left me all alone here.

"Mama?" I yelled and rushed upstairs to her room to find her sitting on the edge of her bed crying and whimpering, I went closer and hugged her.

"It's okay mama I'm here. Did he hurt you again?" what a stupid question why else she would be crying?

"No Wali he didn't..." she sobbed even more, wrapping her skinny arms around me.

"Mama then why are you crying? Are you okay?" I asked not knowing that my own face is covered in my tears.

"It's nothing baby, it's nothing." She tried to smile but failed miserably, the beautiful face of my mother was covered with bruises not that mine was better but her was worst.

"Mama you know that I'm with you, we both are together." I hugged her back.

"Oh my Wali, you are such a strong boy..." she cried, her body was shaking but I don't know why she was crying so much because usually when we are free from the demon we like to spend our time smiling as much as we can but I don't know what was wrong today. I went out of the room to bring her water and then giving her the glass I sat beside her.

"Wali? Can you promise me one thing?" My mother whispered, she had stopped crying.

"Anything!" I quickly looked at her, carefully reading her face.

"Wali, Allah Talla is going to give you a little brother or sister soon," she was looking at me while she was crying there was a weak smile on her lips and a different glow which I was noticing now, "Promise me Wali you are going to protect them and yourself till the end, if mama doesn't make it, promise me you all will take good care of each other." I went numb after getting this new piece of information, NO! Babies are so small, we don't want a baby or he would kill them, I was quite mature for my age and knew what was happening.

"No mommy, no! Say Allah not to give us a baby or else baba would beat him too! Mama babies are so small, he'll give them pain!" I was yelling and crying.

"Wali listen! You are the big boy you'll protect them, Allah is giving us a baby as a gift, you are going to be the big brother, right? I'll be here too but you'll protect them and don't tell your father, Wali," she quickly replied wiping both of our tears, "Wali I want you to pack your bags honey, we'll leave tonight but don't tell your daddy or we won't ever be free." She looked at me carefully maybe judging my expressions and I frantically nodded, all I ever wanted was to be free from this demon whose blood run inside me.

The time went by and I was busy setting my things, I completed my homework and my all work and gather all the essentials my mother told me to, happiness wouldn't even start to define of how I was feeling, finally the days of misery would end, my mother and I would be free. Thinking of those happiness I quickly packed my bag and hid it inside my bed, we planned to leave when he'll be drunk and passed out on his bed in the mid of the night, that's the only time he is weak and not in his control.

The clock was ticking and by every passing hour I was entering the stage of ecstasy and fear at the same time, I would have a little sibling, I would be a big brother and I would be free but what if...

No! I can't think like that.

Around eight mom came into my room with her bags and plate of some food, she hid the bag and placing the plate in my hands she kissed my forehead and went out, I quickly ended up my food and dressed in my pajamas as my mother told me and lied on my bed, there was no chance of sleep coming tonight. I was silently praying and without knowing it was 11:30 pm in the night, I wasn't able to understand why we weren't leaving before he comes here. Mom entered again around 11:45 to check on me.

"Mama why aren't we leaving before he comes?" I asked her being impatient.

"Because he would find us easily then, we have to leave this place Wali, we are going to Virginia to your nana nani's house." She smiled and kissed my head and went out.

Now the excitement took another level, I was about to meet my grandparents (maternal) for the first time.

I was still thinking about our escape plan, about my real relatives, about the good days when I heard a sudden crash followed by another, he was back, and I tucked inside my bed and cover myself with the sheet. Oh Allah! Protect my mother! Another crash and a loud cry and the first thing came into my mind was the baby, jumping out of my bed I rushed downstairs where he was in his worst drunken state.

"Don't touch my mother!" I yelled running towards him and pushing him away, he turned and slapped me right across my face which made me to stumble and fall on the floor.

"You whore! Whose child it is? To whom you sold yourself to?" he was yelling and offending my mother, I wasn't big enough but I knew what he was saying.

"It's yours Kareem! It's yours!" my mother was crying and begging, he pushed her away and start beating her and I saw her kicking her stomach while my mother cried in agony. I stood up and picking up a vase I threw at him to get his attention, I knew he would come after me so dodging him I went to the kitchen door which easily led us outside on my away I threw things to make it hard for him to follow me and got the time to get outside the house, I heard him getting out and calling me names but successfully I got to our most reliable neighbors and at one in the morning I was banging their door. My tear stained face was turning cold and my body was getting numb, but I need help and so I keep hitting the door, my hands were turning white, my mom, for my mom!

"Open the door! Aunt Julie! Please! Help me!" I was yelling and then I heard rushed steps coming downstairs and muffled voices which turned loud, the front light opened and then the door.

"Wali, what are you doing here?" Mr. Williams, aunt Julie's husband opened the door and then aunt Julie came in front and rushed me in.

"Wali what happened?" she was asking her face was pale with fear because she knew what happened.

"Aunt Julie, mama! He's hurting her real bad he hit her on her tummy," she gasped "I threw a vase at him and came here we were supposed to leave!" I quickly said as much as I can.

"Luke! She is pregnant!" I heard her talking to her husband "Jesus!" he called and rushed upstairs and came back down a second later.

"Jules call 911," I noticed a gun in his hand and then he rushed outside yelling at someone on the call.

"Oh Wali," aunt Julie was crying now, as she took me in a motherly hug, she kissed my temple and dialed for the help, we both were sitting with each other on her door step, her arms wrapped carefully around me and she was kissing my head time by time, we both didn't dare to go at my house because the police cars were already there and I was too scared to witness anything, after couple more minutes we heard the ambulance and we both jumped on our heels and rushed toward my house, my mother was now laying on a couch, unconscious and pale, I rushed to wrap myself around her body which was unusually cold but soon there were people around and aunt Julie dragged me back, they lifted her up and into the ambulance, they were taking my helpless mother in front of me and I was just silently sobbing. Then aunt Julie and Uncle Luke took me with them to the hospital, we entered to the emergency area but I couldn't find any signs of my mother.

"Aunt Julie, where is mama?" I asked her in a whisper, my voice too hoarse to come out.

"Honey the doctors are treating mama, we have to wait," with that she took me to the waiting room which was as deserted as my mind, I felt like something big had died inside me, I just wanted my mother to be fine.

We waited there for hours but there were no news, I don't even know when nani and nana arrived, maybe aunt Julie called them, and as soon as they came I ran to them even looking at them for the first time in real life, out of pictures I still found a warm connection with them, nani maa took me in her warm hug and tenderly kissed me. "You are such a strong little warrior, Wali" I heard nana said it and then all of us waited again, I heard them saying that my father, Kareem Hassan was arrested and I felt.... Relaxed and content, was I turning like him? Heartless, I don't know. It was around six in the morning an aunty doctor came.

"Well thankfully the mother is out of danger but we are sorry we couldn't save the child, it was an early stage and with the loss of blood and severe injuries the fetus couldn't survive," she said to the elders, it was my fault I didn't fulfilled my promise, I heard my nani and aunt Julie crying, they both came and hugged me and I was sitting emotionless.

"I was supposed to save little baby," I whispered and I felt them shaking "it's my fault." I was just continuously repeating same words and I felt like I was alone.

*Eight months later*

"So Wali, which flavor ice cream do you like?" I heard uncle Zulfiqar asked from the front driving seat, today he came along with Maa to pick me up from my session, my therapist session. They all think I don't know what a therapist is, but I'm almost eleven and I wouldn't deny the fact that these sessions are somewhat helping me.

"Chocolate chip with caramel crunch!" I happily replied "But ask mom as I have a soar throat," I smirked on how last time she said this so I couldn't get ice-cream, though my throat was better but my only fault was I ate all the cookies and didn't share it to the guest child, Listening to my reply uncle Zulfiqar laughed and mom snorted.

Let me tell you my mother has weird ways of punishing me, like two months ago she hid my bi-cycle so I would complete my homework, who does that? Then a week before she hid the novel so I would drink milk and believe me, my nana help me through her weird punishment, he is the best, I also got to know nani was used to punish maa like this when she was younger. Both of our lives are so much better at nani's house and it's a big house and I have my own big room.

Buying the ice-cream we went back to the home and I rushed inside, to see my favorite show which was about to start, I was half way through when my mother came in and sat on the edge of my bed, silently looking at me, there was a smile on her face and her eyes were watery, turning the volume down I got from the bean bag and sat beside her, taking her hands into mine and intertwining our fingers, we sat there in silence for couple of minutes.

"We are finally free, Wali," She squeezed my hand "He is not part of us anymore." As the word escape from her mouth I wrapped my arms around her and we both stayed like that.

"Nana fulfilled his promise," I whispered and I feel her nodding. The divorce problem was going around since past eight months, he was sentenced ten years jail due to the abuse but my mother wasn't able to get the divorce and now finally it had happened. I might be the first kid who was happy on the official announcement of my family breaking up, but I would give up everything to get my mother's freedom from that monster.

*Eighteen months later*

I was finally eleven, basically eleven year and six months older now and I was on my way to super mart to get my favorite candies and chocolate and ice-cream before I get my braces tomorrow, it was a reward my family was giving me and as after braces it's not so easy to eat everything so my nani was making my favorite pizza tonight and my mother? She was continuously saying I'm a spoiled little monster, basically she is the mastermind behind me getting braces, she is thinking that everyone is pampering me beyond the limits and that braces don't hurt but goodness! I have to keep my mouth open so I could get those metallic things inside and I would be eating baby food for next few days so I need this love! She thinks I'm taking advantage, which I certainly am! And uncle Zulfiqar is bringing me so many games, he is the nicest person alive.

"Wali can I ask you a thing?" nana questioned me on our way back home and I nodded as my mouth was having candy.

"Do you like uncle Zulfiqar?" he asked and I nodded again, who doesn't?!

"Wali what if he wants to marry your maa? Would you be okay?" I looked at him in disbelief, after all what had happened; he is still okay sending my mother away! "Wali he loves you like his son! He wants you too!" he smiled.

"You don't get it! What if..." I cried.

"I know what you are thinking Wali! And I can totally understand it son, but Zulfiqar is a good man, believe me! He has known your mother from long time ago, Wali I know you don't want your maa to get hurt but Zulfiqar would never hurt her," nana was continuously explaining me and our car was parked in the corner and I was silent.

"Does maa know?" I asked in a low voice.

"We talked to her but she said no, because she thinks you would say no and if you would, I myself would say no to Zulfiqar! She loves you more than anyone, though Zulfiqar wants you as his son because he loves you but your mother doesn't want you to get hurt." He simply replied.

"Let's go home, nana." I said looking out of the window keeping my feast aside, was it too soon? What should I do? By the time we pulled on our drive way I had made up my mind, I would talk to him myself and as soon as I saw his BMW on our porch I jumped out of the car and ran inside, where in the living room my mother, nani and uncle Zulfiqar were sitting and laughing at something as soon as they saw me their smile widened.

"Here's the champ," uncle Zulfiqar stood up and came to hug me which I returned affectionately.

"Can I talk to you? Alone?" I asked him directly looking into his eyes and his smile disappeared and he looked at everyone and then at my nana "Yeah he told me, I want to talk to you!" I cleared my throat.

"Wali listen..." mom stood up.

"It's okay Kulsoom," he smiled at her and then followed me outside.

Once we sat on the chairs in the garden I looked at him carefully.

"Would you keep my mother happy?" I asked him and he was taken aback.

"I promise till my last breath." He replied after few seconds with an affectionate smile, a smile which captures your heart.

"Do you love her?"

"I love her and I respect her." He said with a nod.

"Would you let me meet my mother after she'll go with you?" And for the first time he looked at me and then he came and sat in front of me "Wali I'm not taking your mother away from you, I love her as much as I love you, in past time you had made me smile more than ever, Beta (son) I need you as much as I need her! You'll be staying with us." He said taking my hands into his own.

"I just want you to love her and make her happy, uncle Zulfiqar, she had cried a lot, she needs happiness, don't hurt her, ever, please!" I almost begged in front of him and he took my into a hug, the warmth his chest was radiating was something I had never felt, I felt his tears on my shoulder, little did I know that along with a companion for my mother I am getting a father, a person I could look up to, to whom soon I'll be fondly calling dad.

As soon as we moved away from each other, we wiped each other's faces and smiled.

"I say yes!" I said kissing his cheeks and his smiled got wider and then I was taken in a hug again, I heard my nana coming out and as we turned he had a wide grin on his face he hugged me and Uncle Zulfiqar, maa and nani were standing at the door, I looked at them and gave maa a thumbs up, finally we were having some best moments of our lives. With my hands in both of the men hands I followed them towards the two women.

"Uncle Zulfiqar?" Time to make this person really happy.

"Yeah?" he turned to look at me.

"Can I call you dad?" I asked and instead of replying he took me into the bone crushing hug with a dozen of yes, he was again crying and I was joyous!

And after two weeks my parents were officially married and we were shifting all our stuff from my grandparent's mansion to my dad's mansion which he had named after me basically the name was my suggestion, Wali's Den, in Williamsburg.

*End of flashback*

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JUMMAH MUBARAH :D

Woah! Longest chapter I guess :P

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