12/25/16

"HAVE YOU EVER been to one of their parties before?" I ask Grayson tentatively. We are both sitting in one of the large bathrooms in front of the vanity finishing up our makeup. Nerves run through me in anticipation for the night ahead of us. The Hasting Christmas party is one of the most talked about events in Easton.

The day passed quickly with a big delicious breakfast, and gifts and laughs under the massive tree. But the morning then turned to everyone running around and getting ready for the evening ahead of us. Another type of get together, only way more lavish and with a ton of people with way too much money.

After layering on some mascara Grayson answers my question. "Small get togethers but nothing like this," she explains examining her makeup in the mirror carefully.

"Oh," I breathe hating the way the nerves fill me like water levels raising in the ocean.

She waves her hand dismissively. "Don't worry we'll have fun," she assures me easily.

I nod. "I know, just something about tonight is making me nervous," I admit with a deep breath.

Grayson's eyes narrow in on me through the mirror. "Maybe because Chase's parents love you and they have no idea their son is involved in a fake relationship," she states her tone edged with rich cynicism.

"Wow," I trail slowly. "Sarcastic Grayson making a come back," I play with a raised brow.

"Oh, don't worry she's alive and well," she smiles teasingly at me.

"I can see that," I drawl. "And yes that may be a part of it, but I don't know I'm just so nervous," I add falling back to my original emotions that seem to be overwhelming me today.

"Don't be Hayley," she assuages calmly. "Just smile and dance and have no more then two drinks and you will be fine," she tells me.

"Two drinks?" I question drawing my eyebrows together.

"One can never be drunk at a public affair," Grayson states with a posh accent like she's reading a rule out of a book.

"What?" I ask with a small chuckle.

"You can thank my mother for my forced etiquette lessons," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Thanks Mrs. Kennings," I mutter as I stand up from the vanity and make my way to the room both of our dresses are hanging in.

I slowly unzip the garment bag hanging up to reveal the dress Mrs. Hasting insisted on purchasing for me. It was far from the most expensive option I had to talk her down from, but still the most expensive dress or clothing item I've ever had on my body. It fits me like a glove though, like it was made just for me.

Grayson makes her way into the room and unzips her bag showing off a black velvet dress with what seems to be a pretty deep V in the front. She pulls the dress out and runs her hands over the exquisite fabric.

"That neckline looks a little scandalous," I comment with a teasing smirk.

Grayson twists her head so her eyes lock on me. "It's not as deep as it seems," she explains. "But I went shopping with Cale and as soon as he saw it on me there was no turning back," she flushes as the words leave her mouth as if she's remembering something a little naughty.

"Did you hook up in the dressing room?" I question with a scrunched nose. Though I can't judge too much as I've had my fair share of public hook ups.

She shakes her head making her wavy curls bounce lightly. "No!" she exclaims, but then immediately turns red. "Ok only a little," she surrenders.

I bark out a loud laugh at my best friend. "Only a little," I mimic with a residual giggle.

"Hey, we don't do that sort of thing all the time," she speaks while placing her hands on her hips.

"Oh, I know," I tell her. "I'm honestly proud of you," I smile. "Wild Grayson may be my new favorite."

"I'm far from wild," she murmurs with a dry laugh.

We both quickly slip on our dresses and our heals before sliding on the few pieces of jewelry we both have. Neither of us being ones for flashy diamonds or pearls. My gold constellation necklace, and grandmother's ring being the main pieces I wear as well as an added pair of delicate earrings.

My eyes take in my appearance in the full-length mirror. My dark hair is flat-ironed bone straight, and my makeup simple with gold accents and a nude lip. The blush dress, strapless, fitted, and fully beaded picking up hints of gold and other pinkish tones making me sparkle ever so slightly when the light hits me just right.

I look expensive, classy, and elegant in a way I never thought I could feel. And all I can think is how I can't wait for Clayton to see me, to see his reaction. I hope he loves it, loves me. My pulse speeds up at the idea of his eyes taking me in, his fingers caressing my hips, his lips meeting mine, his hands tearing my dress off.

My eyes squeeze shut and push out the dirty thoughts filling my head. Tonight is about having fun and being the perfect girlfriend for Chase, nothing more and nothing less.

"You look gorgeous Hayley!" Grayson exclaims taking in my appearance. It's different, it's tame, it's the side of me I rarely show.

"Thank you," I whisper almost embarrassed to take her compliment.

I turn to take in my best friend in her deep cut, curve hugging velvet dress. Her dark smoky eyes and red lips standing out against her fair skin and hair. She looks like a sex kitten, something so different from sweet playful Grayson. It looks like both of us are playing dress up tonight with our alter egos. Showcasing the many sides of us.

"You look hot," I tell her earnestly. "You trying to knock the socks off Cale tonight?" I laugh.

She does a little twist. "You know it," she winks before walking over to me and looping her arm through mine. "Come on, lets go dance," she says before we make our way out of the room together.

As soon as we leave the small room the sound of voices, clinking glasses, and music fills our ears.  We descend the long staircase the banisters wrapped in expensive garland and lights, and make our way to the house turned epic ballroom. The party is in full swing when we finally make our entrance, and it looks like the whole town is here with how packed the downstairs is tonight. Everyone is dressed to the nines for the event of the season.

Grayson and I make our way to the dance floor, but Cale's eyes land on her and before I can even say a word he scoops her away as the band begins a slow song. I watch them dance for a few moments watching the way they look at each other, with completely open hearts full of epic desire. They love each other so much, and my heart aches from the fear of never having what my best friend has. So completely confident and found in this world. So far from lost.

I make my way to the edge of the room to stay out of the way of the dancing guests. My eyes sweep across the room and they immediately land on Clayton, and that's when my heart stops beating all together. My gaze lands frozen on him in a perfectly fitted tuxedo. He's always been attractive since the moment my eyes caught him a year ago, but him in this moment is almost sinful with how sexy he looks.

His eyes lock with mine in a heated gaze from across the room. People dance and walk between the many feet that separate us, voices carry a multitude of conversations, and music glides through the air but all I can see is him. Our eyes never once breaking the connection, the fire that burns between us.

A single arm wraps around my waist pulling me from my moment with Clayton, and flooding my chest with the breath I didn't know I was holding.

My eyes shoot up surprised to meet harsh dark ones. "Who are you looking at?" Colt's deep voice questions. His eyes hold mine so intensely I feel my body start to tremble lightly. It's like he can see all my deep dark secrets with one look and it's unnerves me like no other.

"No one," I answer quickly letting my tongue dart out to wet my suddenly dry lips.

He keeps his hand locked on my hip, not too tight but tight enough to show me the power he has. He's intimidating without even trying to be. "Really?" he asks obviously not believing my words. "Because it looks like you were looking at someone," he finishes.

I swallow the thick lump that's lodged its way into my throat. "I was just looking for Chase," I lie running an anxious hand over my beaded dress.

He uses his hand to turn us lightly, and then points with his free hand to my friend across the room speaking with a group of other men who look to be around our age. Maybe high school friends?

"There he is," Colt says using his hand to illustrate the location of his brother.

"Thank you," I say hurriedly as I pull out of his grasp. I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear and take another step away from him. It isn't that he scares me in the sense where I think he would ever hurt me. He scares me in the sense that I feel like he knows everything hidden within me with just one look. Him knowing the truth scares me, because what if he tells someone? What if he tells his parents? Chase?

He nods his head in response without speaking. "You look nice Hayley," he compliments his dark eyes watching my every movement.

"Thanks," I utter out hesitantly not knowing where's this conversation is headed. "You too," I add.

He takes a step towards me and my skin breaks out in gooseflesh at his proximity. "Don't hurt my brother," he states slowly his nostrils flaring as he speaks.

"I would never hurt Chase," I tell him honestly with wide eyes.

His stare holds mine for a second longer. "I wasn't talking about him," he says before stalking off.

A shocked gasp escapes my throat, and everything stops at his words. My whole body begins to hum with an energy that's painted in pure fear. He knows. Colt knows. A waiter walks by with a tray of champagne, and I grab the glass and gulp down the bubbly in a few pulls trying to calm the bundle of stress weaving through me. My eyes begin to dart around the room before Chase fills my line of vision and walks towards me. I try to relax my racing pulse and attempt to wipe my sweaty palms against my dress.

"Hey," he breathes with a smile when he approaches. "What did Colt want?" he questions with a tilt of his head.

I shake my head trying to calm the pure adrenaline spiking through me in this moment. "Nothing, just harmless flirting," I lie with a fake smile, forcing the words through my lips.

Chase rolls his eyes but buys my words. "He's so annoying," he sighs. "Always wanting what he can't have."

My stomach is tossing and turning and I feel like I honestly might be sick. I can feel my forehead begin to bead with sweat and I know I need to take a breather somewhere far from the party and everyone else.

"You want to dance?" Chase asks with a small smile tugging at his lips and warm hazel eyes holding onto mine.

I want to push everything away and be able to be the good girlfriend I'm suppose to be, but I need a second. Just one to myself or I feel like I might explode.

"Yes, but I need to run to the bathroom first," I make an excuse up moving a few steps away from my friend.

"No problem," he waves me off. "I'll go get a drink first," he says before waking off in the other direction.

I turn and quickly make my way down the hallway deep, near the bathrooms but on the opposite end. The shadow filled corner no one will come to, a small sliver of space I can be alone with my racing thoughts. I lean my back against the cool wall and let my head fall into the wall with a thud. The emotions wrecking havoc through me are turning me inside out. I am afraid, afraid of hurting the people I love in this world with my actions.

I hear quiet footsteps and my head rises and my eyes dart open finding eyes the color of dripping honey. Eyes I dream about staring right at me.

"Why are you hiding over here?" his voice questions as he takes the few short steps to me. His hands land on me as if he can't stop himself from touching me, one on my hip the other cupping my cheek gently. My head tilts into his soft hand without a second thought loving the feeling his simple touch brings me.

"Why did you follow me?" I ask him as my eyes dart behind him worried someone might see us. Worried Colt is telling everyone about our dirty secret.

"Because you look so damn beautiful I knew I needed to kiss you at least once tonight," he answers deeply. His words adding to the anxious emotion within me, making my chest heave with mixed feelings. Want. Fear. Desire. Nerves.

"Clay," I breathe placing a hand on his chest. I want to push him away, every part of me wants to. But I can't, I don't. Instead my fingers come together and grip the fabric of his shirt and pull him a little closer.

His head dips so his nose traces over the open skin of my collarbone leaving me tingly and breathless. "You know what that does to me," he all but growls referencing my saying of his nickname. We both know the power we wield simply at saying each other's names. But saying this name, the nickname only Scarlett had the pleasure of saying, kicks him into overdrive. It drives him wild and I love the power that surges through me at the ability to bring a man like this to his knees with one word.

But now isn't the time. Definitely not the time.

"We shouldn't be doing this," I tell him breathlessly. "We need to stop," I urge a little louder this time. "Colt—"

"What about my asshole older brother?" he bites out. His hot breath teasing the sensitive skin of my neck.

"I think he knows...." I trail nervously.

"He doesn't know shit," he states with confidence.

"But—" I try and start before he cuts me off.

"But nothing Hayley," he says placing a tender kiss to my jaw. "You make me feel again," he whispers. His words pull at the strings of my heart because he makes me feel again as well. He brings light back to my life. "I don't want to stop. Do you?" he asks, as he pulls back and let's his eyes hold mine waiting for my answer. Waiting for me to tell him to stop. Waiting for me to push him away and say I don't want him. But I can't, I won't.

"No," I answer truthfully wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Letting my fingers dive into his soft hair.

"Then make me feel alive," he urges before placing his lips across mine. The kiss is urgent as if he's been holding himself back since the moment he saw me tonight. His hands circle around my waist and push me against the wall with a fervent passion.

I kiss him back with everything I've got. All the desire, love, and heated want I feel for this man who's just as broken as me. Who helped me see the light when the darkness had began closing in. He was everything, he is everything.

I love him.

Suddenly my name is spoken. Loud but broken at the same time, as if they can't believe what they're seeing. But it isn't Clayton's voice I hear. My head pulls away from the man in front of me, and my eyes lock on my best friend. On his tense stance and his hurt eyes.

"Wow," he puffs angrily. "You couldn't even keep it in your pants for a month," he spits his harsh words directed at me before stalking off down the hallway back towards the party.

Tears brim my eyes as he walks away from me. Away from our friendship.