There was something even more bittersweet about the lopsided smile that graced the face of Satoko; the healed scar near her mouth did nothing but pull her lips at an even more odd angle as she smiled in Saruyama's direction. The younger Senju hadn't visited Itama's friend since the incident, a part of Saruyama hurt, is that how she now mentally referred to Itama's death? It was an incident? Satoko looked like she had otherwise recovered from whatever injuries were inflicted on her, although she was still a little bruised and grazes adorned her arms, she was sitting up in bed welcoming Saruyama's visit.

Being secluded within herself and her home lasted long enough, Saruyama was getting cabin fever, having made it known she didn't want to go out on active duty meant that her father basically looked at her as useless, or a tool to keep the house clean and tidy when the three other members of her family were out. She may have declined missions, but Hashirama and Tobirama weren't so lucky, they still went out, they still worked, and they still came back exhausted; drained of nearly everything they had. She would look after them the best she could, but most times they cleaned up and went to bed silently.

Saruyama did feel a little selfish, she wasn't there with them, but the looks in both of her brother's eyes showed that actually, they were more grateful she wasn't. It may not have been voiced openly, but both just wished to keep her safe, tucked away from any harm and knowing she was at home and away from danger clearly gave them hope, something good to return to, a warm familiar face to always welcome them.

That was how Satoko was looking at her, with that same dull optimism that she survived, and was here. Though Saruyama was sure Satoko and Satoshi had been told Saruyama had survived, and Itama hadn't. Did the siblings look at Itama's death like some sort of sacrifice so they could get to safety?

"I was wondering when you'd come visiting." Satoko's voice pulled Saruyama from her thoughts, she looked away from the screened window, it was open a crack so some of the sunlight could filter in, at least it made the room less depressing.

"I wanted to give you time to heal."

Satoko raised an eyebrow, "Is that what you've been telling yourself?"

Saruyama shifted in her kneeled position and bowed her head, "It made it better."

"For you? Yes, I can imagine it did." Satoko said with a short sigh before rolling her eyes back in Saruyama's direction. "Saruyama...you two came to our aid, when there was no one else around. Admitting you were avoiding seeing me doesn't make you a bad person. I can imagine it was hard to come here, to see me, considering..."

Saruyama tilted her head and looked at the girl with gently narrowing eyes. "You are not at fault in this." Saruyama straightened up and shook her head slowly, no part of her ever even thought that Satoko would be sitting here blaming herself for being involved in the events that bought an end to Itama. Saruyama felt absolutely dreadful now...how self-absorbed she was with her own pain and thoughts, here this girl was, her brother's friend, thinking and feeling like she had played a part in Itama's death.

Satoko looked at her with a watery smile, "Doesn't mean I can't feel like that."

Saruyama opened her mouth before shutting it, looking straight ahead she sat in thought for a moment or two before looking back at Satoko. "I feel the same. But he pushed me away, he took on those around him on his own. I suppose we can both feel like we failed him, in some small way."

Satoko shifted in her bedroll, Saruyama winced, the movements looked like they pained the girl yet any hopes of stopping her had Satoko waving her away. She eventually sat cross legged before her, reaching out, Satoko clutched onto Saruyama's hands suddenly. The girl, who looked pained moments ago moved so suddenly it startled Saruyama. "You never failed him, Saruyama he never stopped talking about you! He was gutted you didn't fit in with his friends, but also, he loved you so absolutely. You know he pushed you away to save you, we all know that."

"He never mentioned you as vividly as he clearly did with me. I wish he had; I could've teased him about having a girlfriend before my other brothers." Saruyama was honest, Itama was secretive with his friends, especially those of the female kind.

Satoko's cheeks did turn a little rosy, a pout did appear on her lips as she shyly looked away. "It wasn't like that..."

Saruyama leaned to be in her line of sight and grinned. "No?"

"Saruyama!" Satoko just pushed the girl away with her hands on Saruyama's shoulders. She laughed and rocked in her cross-legged position. Satoko huffed and crossed her arms stiffly and sniffed shortly, "When I got told you'd be visiting, I didn't think it'd go like this..."

Saruyama raised an eyebrow, "I am pleased to see you are up and somewhat about, that you don't seem as injured as I first thought. It pained us both to see Satoshi take you away like he did, even Amaya seemed worried...and she seems...inclined to be indifferent." Saruyama was trying to think how best to describe Amaya, it was hard seems she barely knew the girl, but that was the aura she radiated.

Satoko's expression softened as she looked at Saruyama, she in turn smiled gently. "I heard you beat the girl who did this to me," Satoko pointed at her healed cuts and bruises.

Saruyama scrunched her nose up and nodded, "She was so angry. I've never seen anger like that, Satoko. It was so pure, unstable..." Saruyama trailed off and stared at nothing before shaking her head and looking back at the girl in front of her, she seemed troubled hearing Saruyama's words. "I don't know what we ever did to her, but people like that tend to burn up fast and quick."

"If there's no redemption for her then fine, so be it."

Saruyama's eyes narrowed slowly before she looked to the side, Satoshi peeked around the door with a smile on his face. Saruyama swallowed the words which were threatening to come out. Everyone had the ability to change, to redeem themselves, Saruyama hated those which killed both her brothers, the thought of them redeeming themselves was painful, but what right did she have to judge them to death, because that's not her way of thinking, that made them all no better than the Uchiha who seemed willing to act like that before thinking.

"I heard you were here! It's good to see you're better," Satoshi just said while Saruyama patted her knees and stood, she inclined her head at him and smiled back at his sister.

"I should let you rest some more. Thank you for seeing me." She waved gently and exited the room, perhaps a little quicker than she meant to, but she was soon back out into the compound within moments. Taking in a great gulp of air, Saruyama raked her hands through her hair before puffing out her cheeks, exhaling heavily. Somehow that interaction felt more awkward than freeing.

Was she expecting some form of closure, or to bring closure to Satoko? Saruyama felt bad because she just darted out of there, looking at the building she left, Saruyama inhaled deeply again, maybe she should visit her again, keep an eye...but then, narrowing her eyes as she picked up walking, Saruyama felt like that was just awkward. Satoko wasn't her friend, she was Itama's and clearly his secret possible girlfriend, just inserting herself into Satoko's life seemed cruel...it was all so awkward!

Saruyama slapped a hand to her head and ran it down her face, with a groan she peeked through her fingers when she heard her name. Hashirama was smiling her way, though his arm lowered after waving her way, his expression dwindled seeing her own troubled expression. Looking around, Hashirama was clearly trying to find the cause of her disconcerting expression. Of course, Hashirama didn't see anything physical, which meant she had spoken to someone. That then caused the next thing, Hashirama was naturally displeased if someone had upset her. But then she didn't look upset, she looked awkward.

Sticking her hands in her pockets, Saruyama nodded at her older brother. Admittedly the first chance she got; the kimono she had been given was shunned to one side. She was back to basically wearing the clothes she had inherited from Tobirama, in a way even Itama's clothes. Her sandals kicked up a little cloud of dirt when she stopped walking, "What are you up to?"

Hashirama put his hands on her shoulders and took to inspecting her, Saruyama frowned and waved his hands away, she didn't understand what he was doing. "You look upset...what's happened?"

Saruyama flinched a little, did she honestly look like that? She didn't know. Pointing behind herself, she looked the way she had come, "I went to see Satoko." She explained, watching as Hashirama pulled away from her and sighed heavily, Saruyama frowned softly. "Should I not have?" Saruyama wasn't told to stay away, and she felt she had avoided the girl for long enough.

Hashirama smiled gently and ruffled her hair, "You are free to talk to whomever you want, Saru. Just...you were brave to do so."

"Brave?" Saruyama was confused, she probably looked it too.

Hashirama placed an arm around her shoulders and turned to start walking away. "The last time you saw her, we were all in the heat of fighting, the end of that day forever seared into our memories. Satoko wouldn't have registered you or Itama being there, not really. You're brave, and kind, Saruyama because no one else had even thought to check in with Itama's friends to see how they were. Even though it would pain you to see her, you still went."

"She was his secret girlfriend, Hashirama!" Saruyama laughed, it wasn't a humorous sounding, more disbelieving.

"Not so secret now, eh?" Hashirama grinned and pinched her cheek, earning a whine from her. Hashirama let her go as they continued walking silently, his arm still around her as Saruyama pouted, her cheek now hurt. "I'm glad he managed to find some semblance of happiness and love away from us, no matter how fleeting."

Saruyama looked up at her brother with a distant look, Hashirama was glancing up at the sky, watching as birds flitted and twirled about, she slowly looked away with a strange feeling in her stomach. Would any of them find that? Would they live long enough to find that? Saruyama bit her lip slowly and pulled at it, she felt a little lightheaded, she was putting Madara as the fault for this.

"We're children, Hashirama. I'm not sure we have a proper concept of love." She didn't want to ruin Itama and Satoko's relationship, or whatever it was, but they were young...she felt disgusted for saying what she did, because clearly if they continued through this life together, they'd undoubtedly have stuck together.

Hashirama looked down at his sister, her hard expression had him tilting his head and looking at her worriedly. "Even childhood love, is love, Saruyama. It is pure, innocent, we have seen how adults love, and it can be vicious, hard and even destructive. Whatever Itama's feelings were towards Satoko, they were genuine, and that makes it the best sort of love."

Saruyama found herself nodding slowly, "I'd love to have attended his wedding." Hashirama scoffed at that, the thought of their brother dithering about was funny, he couldn't lie. Saruyama slowly side eyed Hashirama, he blanched, "Your wedding...oh my, you'll be a wreck!"

"Hey! Now that isn't fair...how would you know such a thing, huh?!" Hashirama asked while exclaiming and poking her on the cheek, gentler then when he pinched it earlier.

"You can't talk to girls!"

"I'm talking to you."

"I'm your sister, Hashirama. I do not count..."

Hashirama pouted and looked away, though they both looked at each other when the same thought travelled through their minds. Both of them uttered Tobirama's name at the same time, and a few seconds later both burst out laughing. Yes, if he ever found someone, they wished them luck for tolerating him and his ways, they loved their brother, but he was hard work.

"I'm not getting married," Saruyama said, sounding mighty sure about that, Hashirama frowned, it wasn't fair, all of them had the mental imagery cooked up in her mind, yet for her? Nothing.

"Why?"

Saruyama raised an eyebrow, "That means being tied to someone forever and facing the fact they'll go at some point. Once that tie is cut, then what? Despair, loss. I'd rather not lose myself to more sadness."

Hashirama blew out a sigh, "So..." Hashirama trailed off, patting a finger to his bottom lip he was dragging this out, Saruyama looked at him confusedly. "Madara-" Hashirama didn't get the chance to go on before Saruyama pounced on him. Hashirama uttered their mutual friends name quietly, but her reaction was priceless. Hashirama just burst out laughing loudly, he found it really funny, and Saruyama was inwardly dying on the inside. "You do like him! I knew it!" Hashirama turned into a full-on gossip then managing to swat her hits away and scoop her up in his arms, her arms were stuck to her body as she wiggled about. "Aw, my little sister is growing up fast!"

Saruyama was definitely dying on the inside now, "It isn't like that!" She felt like Satoko now, she knew how she felt when jibing about her and Itama. How the tables had turned!

"Ah, tsk, tsk," Hashirama dropped her and wagged a finger her way, he still had that knowing smirk on his face which Saruyama wanted to slap off. "You two seem to get on swimmingly, I think it's...dare I say, cute?"

Saruyama's nose scrunched up then, "I will hit you."

Hashirama clapped his hands to his cheeks and looked offended. "Such violence!"

Saruyama rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly, "Listen, we both know our friendship there is on borrowed time. Anything else is a definite no." Saruyama had to state the obvious painfully, Hashirama did seem pained by that, but she was right, even he knew they couldn't carry on like they were for much longer.

"I was actually just heading to the river, I've not been for a few days because of...well, I just thought he'd may have visited." Hashirama said awkwardly, his sentences a little disjointed and Saruyama looked awkward for it. Itama's death, looking out for her, plus any missions their father sent him on had Hashirama everywhere but where he wanted to be; which was usually home with his sister and visiting his friend.

"Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

Hashirama clasped his hands on her shoulders to stop her leaving his side, Saruyama looked at him questionably, "I was hinting you come too."

"Why?" Saruyama frowned even more confused now.

Hashirama sighed and let his sister go, he looked around before gesturing the way to the river. "You haven't really left, other than when you ran off. I'm worried staying surrounded by the same things will get to you, eventually. I'm with you, Saruyama, and when I'm with you, nothing will ever hurt you, you know this, right? If we go to the river, you will have me." Hashirama said softly while watching as she looked at her feet before looking awkwardly around. He knew she spent most times shut in their room, hiding away amongst memories of two lost brothers and two brothers out and about doing things she wasn't clued in with. If she was concerned about danger, though rare they ever encountered danger to and from the river, that danger would have to get through him, and nothing was getting through Hashirama.

Saruyama tilted her head, "But you said you hadn't visited...that's not me, I'd rather just...not." She felt even more awkward now, the last time she saw Madara he saw her at her absolute worst. No one had seen her truly like that, he had the brunt of her grief, not even her brothers had that, and she'd feel awkward appearing alongside her brother casual as anything. That was normal to feel like that, right? She was opting to ignore the fact she had admitted she had a crush on him, and the few innocent kisses here and there...no, absolutely not, she couldn't appear casual as anything after that! Her stomach did a weird twist as she felt flustered.

Hashirama raised an eyebrow at her turmoil, "Are you sure?" He asked, he sounded hesitant purely because she seemed usually so up for it. "A change in scenery could do you some good."

Saruyama looked at Hashirama's hopeful face, he was just presuming her pained expression was because the thought of leaving familiar scenery was causing her to feel uncomfortable. It was actually the thought of seeing the dark haired boy after the last time she saw him, that was the cause of Saruyama's awkwardness. Hashirama held a hand out to her and smiled warmly at her, Saruyama inwardly groaned, she couldn't say no to him. Hashirama wrapped his fingers around hers and took off jogging, though in their jog he threw her arm around him and Saruyama easily skipped and jumped and landed on his back. Hashirama just grinned and leaped up onto nearby rooftops and managed to run the length of them with ease, any gaps between them he cleared without a struggle.

Saruyama's arms tightened a little around his shoulders, yet she laughed and enjoyed the wind through her hair, Hashirama just smiled more, he was glad to see her cheered up. The oncoming trees were easily jumped into, Hashirama knew these trees well enough to not need to always look where he was going, his sandals skidded along branches before free falling to another below, he jumped and hopped between boughs and trees without even breaking a sweat.

Jumping down onto the path to the river, Hashirama hoisted her more onto his back and Saruyama just leaned her head against his, "I'm rescuing you, in truth."

"What?" Saruyama looked over his shoulder with a confused look.

Hashirama shook his head and sighed, flicking his eyes sidelong at her, he smiled thinly. "Tobirama wanted to train with you, although you've made it clear you don't want to be involved in missions, he still believes you should keep your skills sharp."

Saruyama looked discouraged, she huddled more into her brother's shoulder. "Tobirama means well, but that isn't what I need."

Hashirama tilted his head, "What do you need, Saruyama?" Hashirama watched from glancing at her how surprised she was by this question, Hashirama smiled, no one had asked her that question. Presumptions were pushed on her, and Saruyama pushed back with her own wants. But Hashirama was interested, truly he was.

"I need to heal."

Hashirama nodded, "I completely agree with you." Sending her back into the field would be compromising for her, and those with her. "I'll always be here waiting, you know? For however long it takes for you to heal, to feel like you've healed enough to come back and be beside Tobirama and I, I will wait an eternity if I have to. Just don't shut me out, okay? Or Tobirama! If you did, he'd be even more overbearing." Hashirama said earnestly before looking disturbed, Tobirama could be too much with just being there but even more so, the dedication that boy had was creepy sometimes.

Saruyama tightened her hold and held on tightly with her eyes shut, she could feel tears budding slightly behind her closed eyes yet still smiled his way. She didn't reply, but she just gave a firm nod, Hashirama smiled gently at that, that was good enough. With a sigh, he looked in front of them, the river calmly rushed past them, and he could hear birds chirping somewhere in the distance. Tilting his head, he readjusted his grip on Saruyama and looked a little saddened that Madara wasn't here. It had been a fair few days since he last came here, a week maybe even two, Hashirama was sure Madara had been in this situation, he'd come hoping to see Hashirama, and he wasn't here.

Saruyama narrowed her eyes and perked up on his back, Hashirama looked up at her, her hands gripped his shoulders and she stared ahead with unblinking eyes. Hashirama tensed in return before Saruyama patted his shoulders, "I see him," Hashirama looked at the smirk on her face, Hashirama got the sense she meant Madara, he let her off her back.

The pair split and went in different directions, clearly, they thought they were being sneaky, but Madara had clocked them way before they registered him. He was idly walking along the path and had felt two chakra signatures near the river, they were familiar and clearly belonging to the siblings. Madara wasn't sure how to act around them, the same as usual seemed like a stretch considering...

He didn't have time to muse anymore before someone sprung out at him and then another figure. Saruyama was quite easily turned about and pushed into Hashirama. He exclaimed, not appreciating having his sister shoved, let alone his way. Madara held his hands up, "What were you expecting?! You don't just jump out at someone, idiots!" He shouted and even stomped a foot for good measure before pointing at them both.