Madara wasn't sure why, but the hand which Saruyama was previously holding, had become a new interest to her; she sat turning it over slowly, tracing the lines on his palms, her fingers trailing over his own, she'd tentatively move her fingertips over any little healed scars; there was a few of them, kunai and shuriken weren't the easiest to train with as a child, everyone starts from somewhere, and that's usually with very little skill or knowledge.

"You didn't have to stay with me all this time, you know." Saruyama spoke up quietly, she squinted a little against the sun as she turned her face to look at him. She felt bad that she may have distracted him from something else. He seemed rather determined to stay with her though, he was, after all, the one to suggest coming here, or at least somewhere.

Madara looked at her like she'd just spoken the most ridiculous thing that he was ever going to hear. "That seems implausible."

"I am grateful you did, though." Saruyama didn't suspect anything else to come from him, he shot her a look before his eyes shut and he leaned his head against his shoulder. He did shift his weight against the hand he was still leaning against, while his other hand got cradled in both of hers. "Do...do you think I shouldn't have left?" She sounded awkward, Madara cracked open an eye and looked her way before his other eye opened too and he straightened up. Saruyama tucked hair behind her ear and waited to see if he'd answer.

"Hashirama will be concerned for you. I'm surprised he hasn't already come out looking for you. I understand the need to get space though. It can help for a small while, but you know that your brothers will be hurting too. They will want to grieve with you, Saruyama; they'll also want to make sure you are okay." Madara spoke slowly, thoughtfully even. He watched as she listened to him, she did nod a few times, which signalled to him that she registered some truth in his words.

"I do feel bad for leaving them...my father will not concern himself with them, he will most likely shut himself away, he always does. I couldn't stay in there, Madara, I just felt...suffocated, smothered; regardless of my father hitting me. It's so stifling there, so much pressure it's too much. All of this is too much." Saruyama sighed and patted her knees before standing and walking away while she spoke, she straightened out her skirt and looked out at the forestry before them.

Madara stared at her back before frowning and jumping to a stand, he didn't quite like the way she was teetering near the edge of the cliff, her head was bowed and looking downwards at the gushing water beside them. The distance between them was minimal, so it really didn't take much for him to appear behind her, wrap an arm around her shoulders and tug her back. Saruyama's arms waved in the air as she rocked backwards, she even let out a small yelp as she went falling. Even Madara's eyes widened as he wasn't expecting her to be such a limp weight; the pair ended up in a small heap on the ground.

Saruyama's head impacted against his chest, wiggling a little, she tilted her head and looked up at him. "I wasn't going to jump."

"It didn't come off like that, just so you know when you say things like that when near a sheer drop, it comes off that your intention isn't an innocent one." Madara winced, he hit his head against the stone ground, it didn't hurt but his ears did ring a little from the impact. Saruyama slowly turned her head and stared up at the clouds, she didn't answer, but she understood how she was behaving could be misconstrued. "You can move, Saruyama." Madara had unwrapped his arm from her shoulder a few moments after they landed backwards.

"I'm comfortable."

"I'm not, move." Madara placed his hands on her shoulders and shoved, she had gone dead weight. He felt her shoulders shake and a quiet chuckle coming from her. "Saruyama, move!" Madara frowned and pushed her some more, how could she feel so light when he carried her, but when she went like this he was trapped.

"Ugh, fine." Saruyama groaned and literally rolled off of him and to the side. She scoffed when she laid on her side and watched him place a hand to his chest, "With the way you're acting, it's as if I was the heaviest weight crushing you. That's rude, Madara." Saruyama reached over and flicked him on the arm, earning a narrow eyed look to be shot her way as he turned his head to look at her. "I'm sorry though, if I worried you earlier on." Saruyama's hand gripped onto his sleeve then, just holding on was reassuring to her, sort of anchoring her to this point.

"Just don't do something like that again." Madara said deadly serious and watched as she looked at him sadly before nodding, only to regret that as stone wasn't the easiest medium to lean against, let alone move against. She tucked an arm underneath her head and just looked his way. Madara blinked slowly before turning his head back to the sky, entwining his hands together, he popped them underneath his head and sighed. "You probably should go home though."

"Had enough of my company so soon?"

"What?" Madara was rather quick with this response and shot her a look to see her smirking, he scrunched his nose up and looked away indignantly.

Even with his eyes shut, Madara felt her spare hand rest against his stomach, her hand held onto the soft material of his top. "I don't want to go home."

"You know you will have to, right?" Madara frowned, his eyes squeezed shut a little more. "You can't run away, the dangers which that would hold just aren't worth thinking about."

Saruyama understood where he was coming from, of course she did. She didn't actually want to run away, just...the alternative caused her heart to hurt. "If I go home, the reality will hit, and..."

Madara turned his head against his hands and finally opened his eyes, looking at her simply, he could see the conflict on her face. "Accepting what has happened is the hardest thing to do. Not getting lost in the feeling of that loss, is even harder. But Hashirama, he will be worried for you, and he will want to make sure you're okay, or as can be considering. You know how he is; he will try everything in his power to make you better. Because that's what big brothers do."

Saruyama sniffed slowly, Madara's eyes widened, her eyes definitely looked a little glassier than they did moments ago. "I just don't want to return home and feel sad."

"I think you will, regardless." There was no avoiding that, and there was no way she was going to be able to run away from this feeling. She could try, but she would fail.

Saruyama shut her eyes with a shaky sigh, "I haven't even gone to see him, or at least where he is buried; I imagine he is with my other brother, or I'd hope he was. I wouldn't want them to be separated, death surely is the one thing where we can all eventually be together, surely they are together in the afterlife..." Saruyama didn't want to think of her brothers not being together in eternity, they had had hard lives, both of them, death bought peace and she could only hope further peace came from being reunited together in whatever existed beyond this realm.

Madara sat up slowly, her hand retracted and she looked at his back. He pulled his knees up and rested his forearms against them, "Seeing him will bring you some closure. I think you need to talk to him, you have guilt, Saruyama, and the only person you can unload this to, is your brother. I doubt he will blame you for anything, but it'd bring you closure I think." Even if it would appear to anyone else that she was speaking to thin air, Madara did honestly think her doing this would help her. She'd have things she'd want to say, that she couldn't speak about with her other brothers, or him. Keeping those thoughts and feelings bottled up wouldn't do her any good.

Hearing the ruffle of material, his eyes flicked sidelong at her. She wiped her eyes with her sleeves and gave a nod, she did still sound a little sniffly, Madara didn't mean to upset her, he didn't like seeing her sad. His eyes stared to the horizon again, a time where she wouldn't be hurt or sad would be brilliant. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Madara watched as she smiled and stood up slowly. He watched as she walked to the edge again and looked down before turning and looking back at him. Something about her had changed, there seemed to be some clarification or realisation on her face and Madara wasn't sure what had changed, but he stood slowly and walked to stand in front of her.

"Thank you, Madara."

"You really don't need to keep thanking me." He rolled his eyes and scratched the back of his neck; he hadn't done anything spectacular.

Saruyama chuckled and pushed his shoulder lightly, "Modesty doesn't suit you!" She laughed, he shot her a look, he wasn't getting into this again. "You are right though. I think I need to go see him, speak to him. I don't have any intentions of clearing the air with my father just yet. He was the one in the wrong. But my brothers? They need me, I know I have been selfish with concentrating on my hurt, and my pain alone...we all need each other, and in truth I do feel bad for making them worry."

"Are you ready to go home?" Madara asked, he knew she wouldn't run away, she loved her brothers, he didn't know her other one but the bond with Hashirama was strong. No matter what, Madara knew full well that bond would pull her back, because she wasn't selfish, regardless of what she just said, she wasn't and she wouldn't want to inadvertently hurt Hashirama, because she loved him.

Saruyama combed her hair behind her ears, she kept her fingers entwined in her hair while nodding slowly. "I think so, yes."

Madara nodded his head, Saruyama turned on her heels and without the spontaneity of earlier, Madara picked her up into his arms and walked further to the edge; water from the fall splashed and flicked their way, the route down was the same as the one up but he lingered just to let her soak in the view one more time before leaving. He had this sinking feeling, and it wasn't from the sudden plummeting that was happening as he jumped and fell from outcrop to perch and eventually landed on the ground. No, this sinking feeling was from something else, Madara just had this sense that he wouldn't cross paths with Saruyama for a little while, he didn't know why...just, she needed to heal, forever coming to the river would be something she would no doubt insist would help, but it wouldn't, not really.

Saruyama's arms held around his shoulders, with a sigh she leaned her head against her shoulder. It was a minute gesture, but she felt his head nudge a little against hers, just from the proximity of her to the crook of his neck. "Madara?" Saruyama's tone was awkward, her eyes flicked around the trees around them, now paranoid that someone was going to spring out. She couldn't sense anyone, and Madara seemed relaxed, although now he tensed sensing something was up because of her tone of voice.

Yet he hummed, he was expecting the worst here. Saruyama inhaled slowly, exhaled just as slowly before leaning away from her shoulder and looking at him. Madara's eyes did flick quickly to the side to glance at her, before looking away. He regretted looking, even her expression caused him to feel uneasy. "I'm rather sure it was all a nice daydream, to be in your clan one day; but I think I'd like that, if it meant being with you, or near to you, because you make me feel safe. I felt such turmoil earlier, I still do...but I have felt calmer for spending time with you. I won't thank you again, don't worry; but you do have my gratitude. You just...you're there, Madara, and I dread the day when you're not. I may have a little crush on you, just to let you know..."

Madara tightened his grip on her, not putting her down to walk the woodland floor without shoes again. He could understand why she looked hesitant to speak, he swallowed thickly and thought over her words before stopping and looking down at the girl in his arms. They were near the cliff, a little further down the track and they'd part ways, and then he'd have to wait to see her again, whenever that would be. "I was being serious." He started, face rather void of emotion and Saruyama raised an eyebrow, well he definitely had that vibe. Tilting his head and looking to the side, his eyes travelled up the cliff before he found himself nodding. "I like you too," he said quietly, using her words from much earlier.

Saruyama smiled, he looked so unbelievably awkward, "Don't ever change, Madara." He looked back at her; her words were softly spoken, and she smiled at him more. Reaching up and ruffling a hand through his dark hair, she received a glare from him. Saruyama laughed quietly, "Come on, as you said earlier, I think Hashirama will be worried."

Madara hummed in agreement and picked up walking again. He readjusted his hold on her and felt her tighten her arms around his shoulders in return. He didn't think he had ever had someone say they felt safe with him before. That was something to protect, he'd already made it clear he wished to do so where she was involved; life obviously would make that task very hard to achieve. Being ignorant would last them only so long, they could pussyfoot around the subject, but it was clear eventually their little bubble would burst, and they already knew that their respective clans were unlikely to be comrades. Madara didn't want to find her on a battlefield, or rather he didn't wish to fight her on a battlefield, the thought of others going for her was conflicting, if his own people made a beeline for her...there was nothing he could do in the heat of battle, the more thoughts of this the more it caused a pain to appear.

Madara was half surprised to not see Hashirama at the river, maybe he truly was giving his sister space, or Hashirama suspected she had crossed paths with him. It was more than clear that Hashirama trusted him to look out for his little sister, that was a trust which probably didn't come around all too often. Madara appreciated that level of trust, but also, much like his earlier thoughts of fighting where the girl in his arms was involved, Madara knew full well the moment all of this went and blew up in their faces, Hashirama wouldn't trust him near her any more than he was likely to trust him being near himself. That hurt. That was a thought that hurt.

Feeling a poke to his cheek, he frowned down at Saruyama. "You're glaring and looking grumpy."

"I was thinking."

"Uh-huh, yeah I suspected as such." Saruyama listened as his sandals pattered against the river quietly, she was nearer to home than she thought, and something about parting ways from him caused her to feel a little panicked. "Do I even want to know?" After all, he was looking really deep in thought, something like that couldn't be good...

"I'm just thinking over the future of things." Which wasn't a lie, he just wasn't being specific. He could see Saruyama look at him sceptically, Madara shook his head and leaned down to set her back on solid ground.

She straightened out her skirt and turned and looked at him, she glanced around him and spotted the sight where she was previously laying, wishing so desperately for the river to take her somewhere far away. Shifting her gaze back to Madara, Saruyama smiled at him, she wasn't going to thank him again, but it didn't mean she couldn't look thankful. He rolled his eyes, yet the corner of his lips did tug up in a slow but wry smile, he knew full well what she was doing which caused a quiet laugh to come from her, she shook her head and looked over her shoulder. It wasn't a long walk home, but it seemed like it.

Saruyama bowed her head slowly, she did go to say bye, but she really didn't want to. Madara seemed to understand, he just nodded back. Saruyama turned on her heels and started to walk away, Madara watched her go, hands on his hips, he wasn't budging until he had lost sight of her. He didn't think she'd dip and run off, but he just...wanted to make sure. He frowned though when she stopped suddenly, she turned and despite of the terrain underneath her feet she came quickly jogging back to him, as much movement as the skirt of her kimono could allow.

The last thing he expected was for her to basically vault at him, her arms went around his neck, and she buried her face against his shoulder. Madara took a stumbled step back before blinking wide dark eyes, he reached up and placed a hand against her back. He felt her hold tighten against him before she slipped away, Madara placed his spare hand against her hair and tried to calm it down from her run and how it got messed up nestling against him.

Saruyama scrunched her nose up and pouted at him, Madara just smirked, yes, he had seen how Hashirama playing with her hair caused her to be a little ticked. He didn't care, he still went ahead and did it anyway, she just rolled her eyes with a sigh. She had kissed him on the cheek earlier, an action which had thrown him yet seemed so simple to her; so, it was only fair that Madara did something to set her off kilter. He dared to use the hand on her head to tilt it ever so slightly, and he did something he hadn't ever done really, the simple action he did to cause her to look wide eyed and bemused was just to simply kiss her on the forehead. It was a simple act, naive and innocent even and had her smiling shyly, Madara did note her cheeks were a little pink as he urged her to return to her path home.

He stayed put again and watched her slowly walk away, she did glance his way every so often, Madara was still there, watching carefully and intently before he couldn't see her anymore, and only then did he turn away and commence his own way home. He may not have trained like he expected today, but he couldn't say the day had been a complete and utter waste, unbeknown to him he was walking into the Uchiha compound with a rather achieved but also wistful smile on his face.

Saruyama however, had bypassed most of her clans' people and was making her way to the graves, it wasn't hard to find the fresh ones, nor was it hard to find Itama's name on a small piece of wood. That was all to show he was here, his name simply carved in wood and a mound of soil upon him. Kawarama was next to him, and Saruyama slowly knelt down and put her hands on each grave, they were close enough together that she could do this. It wasn't the same, of course it wasn't, as holding them physically, but if she tried, if she really tried, she could remember how they felt, Itama was much easier to recall, all his memories were fresher, and that hurt; would he become foggy to her mind like Kawarama did?

Hearing a step behind her, Saruyama opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder. Hashirama smiled softly before walking over and crouching on one side of her, Saruyama had kept her emotions in quite well up until seeing him, he just nodded and brushed hair out of her face. Tobirama sat on her other side, he had sensed Saruyama's return long before Hashirama could've. It didn't take a genius to know where she would go. Hashirama placed an arm around her and pulled her close, she leaned her head against his shoulder and shut her eyes with a shaky breath. Tobirama looked at them from the corner of his eyes before reaching over and placing his hand against his sister's shoulder. He wasn't even surprised when her hand shot out and grasped onto him, Tobirama got tugged close and just sighed at the small bundle he was now a part of.

Even if he was being indifferent, Hashirama knew full well that he was taking to heart them two being with him. And Hashirama was revelling and etching to memory his siblings being so close and how they were now, in this moment, and how he couldn't stand to watch his sister cry over another one of their brothers dying. He just couldn't do this again, something had to change because it was taking a toll on himself and Tobirama, but it was breaking Saruyama, anyone with eyes could see that. It was breaking little pieces of her away, and Hashirama couldn't watch this anymore, it hurt to witness. There was only so many times he could comfort, and try and reassure, but unless change happened, this scene was going to be even more regular, as bad as it was to admit.

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(A/n: This is pure ramble, because I felt bad, I hadn't written for ages. You can blame writer's block in one regard, and currently being full of cold for seconds.)