You can dislike your parents for a time being but never hate them forever, you might utter 'I hate you' at heat of a moment to them but your heart can not actually hate them. Even if they were criminals.

~♥~

Sitting near the window, I gazed at the crescent which was shining brightly in the sky, it was a beautiful and peaceful night, the sky was dressed in black silk and silver stars outlined it beautifully.

Nature was yet again, my comforter. The way those trees in my backyard were swaying in a rhythm, as if they understood me and nodded at every word I uttered.

I sighed, I never thought my life would be such a mess, it's more than I ever imagined.

My parents and angel and David, they all hit a girl and ran away from the accident spot, leaving her to die.

They even erased the evidences to save themselves. My mind has been a mess since the time I heard the truth and for a moment, I did thought that maybe it was just a misunderstanding of Henry.

But when has destiny been good to me? I chuckled sadly.

It was not a misunderstanding, they did deleted the footage but only from police records.

We derived the footage from the traffic police, it was quite hard as it was done years back but we needed to know the truth. And in all this, of course I was in the hospital, in a small bed to be exact.

It seemed like seeing me injured had kicked up everyone's protective instinct, I definitely shouted, cursed a bit as well and not to forget threatening of punching but none let me do anything.

They did it all themselves, carter had stayed back in the hospital itself so that I don't do any kind of 'activities' and hurt myself.

When they got the footage and returned with a gloomy face, it pierced my heart and when I saw the whole video, I could not stop those tears which fell from my eyes.

I was shocked, whom I considered as God did such disgusting thing.
I was hurt, I had never imagined them as criminals.

For every child their parents are like role models, mine were too. But people say, real faces hurt.

I felt guilty, it was their fault but somewhere in between, Henry suffered, he lost his daughter who was his life.

I felt confused, I did not knew what am I supposed to do. I cannot even hate them as I love them too much for my own bad.

But crime is a crime, even though they are no more yet we submitted the proof to the police.

It had been almost two days since I got discharged from hospital and I stayed there for a day too. Since my wound were not that bad and a little help from Liam I got discharged early.

I had completely disagreed when Nick, carter and Ashton wanted to go back to hotel. They all took a ten days break claiming that they were exhausted from the dramas going on.

I brought them to my home, my dream house which I had built with love and affection but had not lived here even for a month properly.

A beautiful and cute two story house which is not as big as a mansion but has homely vibes and this is all due to Sandra, the caretaker of this house.

She is in her late forties but her energy is too much, bubbly and a bold lady. She is like a motherly figure to me.

She loves me too much but since I came back from the hospital I am locked up in my bedroom. I didn't talked much to her this time.

I didn't like coming out, neither I did. Whoever knocked at my door I either did not answered or yelled to go away. From these three days, I had not even talked to Ashton. Not even once.

I dreaded to talk to him but my mind did not let me, I am ashamed to face him, I literally played him. He comes to my room almost ten times a day but I don't answer him. Not even once.

I know I am behaving immaturely, I should be the one to apologize but won't it be hurting him more? Won't it hurt me too?

We both are well aware of our own feelings, without even confessing. I do not have any strength left in me to love anyone again.

I rubbed my face with my shaky palms, this is killing me from inside.

I just want this all over from my life, why can't for once I can live my life peacefully? Few tears escaped from my eyes and I bit my lips to hold back a sob.

A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts, I decided to not answer that again. The person kept on knocking, pounding on the door to be exact.

I looked at the door, irritated.

" OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALAIA" I heard a yelling sound and I flinched, it was Ashton.

I sighed, seems like I again need to shout for him to go away.

" Dare you yell at me to go away because I won't. Now open the door or I will break it, mind it, it is your house and it will damage your property" he yelled and I closed my eyes, defeated.

This time there was determination in his voice, and this, it somewhat scared me. I got up from the window side with a sigh.

Taking baby steps, I slowly opened the door. He was about to shout and bang the door again but stopped seeing me opening the door.

" Alaia.." he whispered, slowly.

I lowered my gaze and moved backward, giving him space to enter inside. I walked straight without looking at him, I felt his intense gaze upon me.

" Now tell me, what the hell is wrong with you. " I heard him say.

I turned around and looked at him, he was staring at me with his hands crossed. My eyes shifted to his face, he looked tired and exhausted.

" Nothing, Mr Johnson." I said, looking everywhere but at him. I could visibly see him flinching, he looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

" Why are you calling me Mr Johnson?" he said, taking small steps towards me.

" We have to be professional right? So I can not call you by your first name. " I said and turned the other side, gulping the lump that formed in my throat.

I so badly wanted to scream and cry right now.

" Stop with your idiocy, Alaia!" he shouted, making me flinch.

Taking long strides towards me, he held my right hand but not the left one, which was wounded. I looked at him, teary eyed, even though he was angry he did not hurt me.

" Why are you doing this, huh, it is not only hurting me but you also " he said, his face dangerously close to mine.

My breath hitched for a moment, I looked at him dazed. My lips parted slightly, a lonesome drop of tear fell from my eye and landed on his forearm. 

He looked at the drop of tear and then at my face, his gaze softened a little.

" I am not doing anything. " I said, in a wobbly voice.

I cursed myself inwardly for becoming so weak at the moment, I cleared my throat and repeated my words, clear this time.

" I am not doing anything " I could feel his hold tighten around me.

" Really, Then why are you ignoring me? Tell me huh... Tell me, why are you locked in your bedroom since the time you came back from hospital? It is all because of me right? " he said.

I flinched and closed my eyes, he was somewhere right. The main reason I was locked up in my room was that I did not wanted to face him. I was too weak to face him or maybe, I was scared.

" Please do not hurt yourself Alaia, you are hurting me too. " he said, softly.

I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes, for a moment I could feel everything around me disappearing, it seemed just two of us.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt him stroking my cheeks with tip of his thumb. I jerked his hand away, he looked at me pained.

" Don't touch me. " I said, trying to get out of his grip.

He looked at me red eyed. My heart pained seeing him like this but I can't afford to hurt him more. If I stay attached to him then his life will be more messed than it already is.

" Oh really.... So my touch disgusts you now? Wow miss Alaia, wow! " he whispered harshly, tears breaming in corner of his eyes.

I closed my eyes to stop those tears which were threatening to fall, seeing him crying because of me did hurt. I turned around and quickly wiped those tears which fell from my eyes before he could notice.

I felt his footsteps, trailing behind me shortly. I felt him getting closer to me, his warm breaths fell upon my shoulder.

" Then why did my words hurt you? Why can't you see me crying, Alaia, whom are you trying to fool, me or yourself ? " he whispered against my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I let out a shaky breath and shook my head violently. I wriggled out of his grip and turned around to look at him. I walked backward and he walked frontwards, intimating me.

" Don't play with fire Mr Johnson your hands might burn. " I warned, walking backward until my back hit the wall.

He took baby steps towards me and lowered his head, now that his face was just in front of mine, I felt my heartbeat pulsing, my breath mingled with his.

" What if I want to, what if this fire won't burn me but give me life? What if this fire will give warmness and peace I have been craving for years. What if I want to be burned in this fire, what if I want you? " he whispered, caging me in his arms.

I gasped soundly when he ran a hand over my jaw, pushing a strand of hair behind my hair.

" I want you, Alaia. " he whispered.

His gaze travelled down my eyes to my lips, a flicker in his eyes were readable. The desire was so visible and I hated to say it but, I lost myself there. Lowering his head, he leaned closer my ear before voicing out,

" May I? "

He rasped, throatily.

When he pulled back, I held his palm in mine, pulling him closer to myself. His eyes flashed before finding my lips and my eyes found his in return.

It was like time stopped.

His lips were on mine, unbidden and unrestrained.

My were on his, unsure and uninformed.

His arms left my waist and came up to cup my cheeks. I wrapped my right arm around his torso, pulling him closer.

He kissed me like a man out of breath and I kissed him back as if I were the air he was breathing. Our lips moved in a rhythm, our heartbeats entangled when our souls whispered among each other for the first time.

I grunted when he almost pulled back, holding his hair, I pulled him closer and fused our lips again. I could feel butterflies and fireworks exploding in my stomach, I looped my right arm around his neck and he held me tighter.

I breathed heavily when he pulled back, resting my forehead against his. Moving my arm around his toned back, I rested myself against him.

" Tell me Alaia, why would you be call me, Mr Johnson ? Huh... Tell me." he whispered against my lips and I moaned as he moved down to kiss my collar bone.

" I did not wanted to hurt you more. " I whispered breathlessly, craning my neck.

" but you are hurting me now. I am Ashton, your Ashton " he mumbled against my skin. He planted soft kisses on my neck and I whimpered softly.

" Ashton " I whispered shakily and held his arms tighter.

He leaned closer and brushed his nose on my cheeks, I felt his uneven breathing falling upon my cheekbones. Suddenly he backed off and adjusted his shirt, rolling his sleeves up.

" Now tell me why are you ignoring me? " he said casually, stuffing his hands in his pant pockets.

I stood there shocked and tried to catch my breath, still high on desires. He is acting as if nothing happened right now.

My knees gave in, I felt helpless. I felt emotionalally exhausted. I fell on the floor with a thud. Ashton rushed by me side and checked my body with a panicked expression.

" Are you hurt somewhere? I am sorry if I hurt you, Alaia... " he rambled, kneeling down beside me.

I could not control my tears anymore and burst into sobs, I felt his arms around me and pulling me on his chest. I did not fight but gave in, his warmth soothed me down.

" Shh.... Everything will be alright. " he whispered, stroking my hair and I cried harder.

" Please leave me, Ashton. Please just go away, I beg of you. Please.... Let me hate. I can't survive loving once again. " I cried, clutching his shirt and his hold around me tightened.

" I will leave you, if you tell me and want me but never, when you need me" he whispered and kissed top of my forehead.

I looked up from his arms and looked in his eyes, for the first time, I felt that someone was willing to consume my darkness, someone was trying to stay by my side when I needed the most.

♥

His soul once promised her heart, that no matter what happens, he will always be there for her, he promised that he will be backing her like shadow does.

He didn't just said, he meant it.

Tired of fighting fighting a battle she is losing every second, tired of hiding her miserablity behind her facade of coldness, she let that slip and falls into her safest embrace.

His arms.

Sometimes breakdowns are necessary for relief of the soul, she needed to break once only to be mended again by him.

Breakdown in his arms would be worth when she realises how wrong was her decision to just try ignoring her feelings.

~♥~

Yes done! I don't know if I justified the situation or not but I couldn't think of anything else rather than this for Alaia's monologue.

Next chapter will be the continuation of it.

So I hope you like this and if you do then please share your precious views regarding.

And till my next update take care and stay safe. Byeeeee