The hardest battle you ever fight with your life is Heart Vs Mind. One side your heart wants to beat for that person and the other side your emotionless brain wants you to forget these feelings.

But what about the security and warmth that love provides?

But what about the tears your love provides?

There are many lives which will be affected by this decision, will it be good or bad?

~♥~

Life is confusing, one moment you try to run away from a person and in the other moment you become more closer to them. You won't even realise but everything just passes in blink of an eye.

I am not that of a fool to not understand what mess up I am doing, yet these feelings don't fade away instead they just increase more and what is confusing is the solace I find with him.

Never I feel so much peace while I do with him, it feels so different and soulful.

These feelings are so beautiful. It really is but it haunts me again and again, Ian's face with that betrayal flashes in front of my eye and the saddest part about betrayal is that you receive it from the closest person.

You think they might be the last one to hurt you but actually they are the ones who possess power of breaking us. We don't even realize but we keep our heart in their hands hoping to receive sheer tenderness and care.

And when they just stomp over it, it breaks. It really hurts when someone even thinks of doing it, it is just inhuman. When your heart breaks for the first time, it doesn't heals completely. There are cracks in it and it scares you from falling in love again.

I think I am afraid to get happy again, whenever I had a genuine smile on my face, destiny snatched it away from me. It's not the love I am afraid of instead fear of getting hurt from the last person you've imagined.

It's hard to trust when all you got from the past is betrayal, distrusting is more easier. Huh, What a tragedy life made me, distrusting is easier than trusting!

The day he betrayed me, I didn't die physically but something deep inside me was brutally killed. It was my love, my emotions and my trust.

I chuckled sarcastically, right! TRUST. A word, just five lettered yet holds the biggest power over someone. Many people think that love is the biggest requirement in a relationship but many fail to understand that it is trust. It holds everything for a relationship.

Even though when Ian cheated on me, a part of me still loves him immensely because of what he did. And I am afraid what if I lose Ashton the same way I lost Ian? I am afraid to lose him when he's not even mine!

My heart is constantly murmuring to me about my feelings while my mind is shouting at me for the reason I entered his life. Meeting him was planned by me, getting this job was planned by me, this whole damn game was planned by me but there feelings weren't planned by me!

They were never part of this game of mine. When I am with him, I just forget the whole reason I am here. They wanted me to do this but never what I am doing now!

But a selfish part of my heart just want to forget every motive, every game, every move just everything.

Between all the shits going on in my life I just forgot that Macey went to Paris, that too on such a short notice.

I banged my forehead, Gosh I need to call her, what if she needs my help in something.

But I firstly called candy, but this man! It was ringing, ringing and ringing but he didn't pick up the call. Ugh! OK so my last option left is, calling Macey.

I called her and waited for her to pick up the call. Macey, I seriously lack patience so you better pick up my call unlike candy.

And don't make me shout at you. I don't really have enough energy to shout on you today.

" Hello "

Ah! At last she did. I thought I would have to wait for few more hours to talk to her.

" Hello Macey "

" Oh.... Alaia. How are you now? Are you fine, did Ashton took good care of you? You again didn't get panic attacks right? " she asked in a breath.

" Woah! Calm down girl. Take deep breaths. And to answers to your questions, I am fine now as Ashton took good care of me and I didn't get panic attacks again. " she breathed out in relief and I smiled softly.

It does feels a little good that there is someone who genuinely cares for you and wants you safe.

" Thank God. I was so scared, you better not pull up these type of stunts Alaia Cooper Houston " she scolded and from her wobbly voice I could figure out that she was already in tears.

" Macey firstly stop your tears, I am not leaving this world anytime soon. I even have few murders left to be done " I joked and she laughed a little.

" Yeah! And make sure you murder Maxwell " I chuckled.

Yes, they both are my best friends but Macey and candy never really stand each other. They both have to quarrel on some or the other topic or they can't digest their food.

But when these two come together, they can create magic and do everything perfectly. Well I don't think I am gonna witness that day anytime soon.

" Gosh you're telling me to murder my best friend? I didn't expect this from you Macey brown!"

I felt light today, as if someone returned my wings. I felt like joking and goofing around which hadn't happened with me in years.

" Oh my gosh! Am I hearing right? My best friend Alaia Cooper Houston is joking right now! Shit it needs to be the headline tomorrow. You joked after years! "

She exclaimed and I closed my eyes tightly, muttering few curses for myself. It would have been better if I wouldn't have said that.

" OK now, shut this crap. What happened, Why did you suddenly returned to Paris? " I asked in a serious voice.

" Uh....actually there was some work to be done. " she said, but what I caught was nervousness in her tone.

" What are you hiding miss Macey brown!? You know very well that consequences won't be good Infact even candy isn't picking up my call. So you better tell me what the hell is going on there "

I heard her muttering few curses. Well maybe because I caught her and my ears as well as eyes are very sharp.

" Ugh!!! Why are you like this! Why can you understand me too well. This is the reason, Candy didn't pick up your call. OK fine, I didn't wanted to tell you this and make you panic but you won't leave me until I do so "

She's right. I would keep bugging her until she tells me the truth.

" OK now tell me what's wrong ?" I asked.

I heard her taking deep breaths. OK if she wants to scare me then I can assure you that she's quite succeeding in it.

" He is back "

OK now she's back to talking in riddles. I swear, I will bang my forehead somewhere if she continues like this.

" Who's back Macey? " I asked, rather trying to control my temper.

For a short tempered person it's really difficult to keep patience.

" He's back Alaia. Samuel is back....." she said

She did utter something else but I couldn't hear it. My ears were ringing only with one single word. ' SAMUEL'

" Samuel " I whispered and the phone slipped from my hands.

~♥~

When our past strikes back at us, it leaves us numb again. How much strong you have become even then it will give you shivers because somewhere deep inside your heart that fear is still residing.

How much you have toughen up yourself, it won't matter. Just one name is enough to bring back the flashes of hell, your past.

~♥~

I know, I know it's a short chapter but I just wanted to show conflict of Alaia's mind and heart so this is the reason it's short. And upcoming chapters have some revelation so do not miss it!

And please take care of yourself from the corona virus, stay safe and stay healthy.

So till my next update take care, Byeee.