Haya's POV

After convincing Sarah to send my belongings, money and important document I packed my belonging along with Amma to prepare myself for a trip to find myself. I hope I find what I am looking for.

After packing I went to buy all the things I need to buy before leaving for Skardu. Our flight for Skardu was at 2pm. Hamza Bhai (brother) dropped us on the airport.

I was for first time travelling to some village area in Pakistan. I was so busy in exploring other countries that I forgot that I have a beautiful country.

As our flight landed in Skardu, Hamza Bhai already booked a taxi for us to drop us at home.

Passing by the field was an amazing feel that I never experienced. My heart was filled with joy. Moreover Skardu was known for its amazing lake it possessed. Most amazing thing was that , Amma's house was closed to a river. I always loved water. No mattered how much I am depressed water always made me feel good.

Here Amma had a beautiful small open house with a small garden in front of it. It had a big apple tree and some small rose plants here and there.

I never have been in a place like this before. It was most beautiful place I have ever seen.

For today we did nothing, we just ate and went to sleep in our respective rooms.

At night I woke up randomly. My room was pitch black. Seeing no light my heart started thumping loudly and body started shivering. I was afraid of dark which only Amma or Sarah knew. I placed my hand on my widely beating heart I called for Amma.

" Am...mma! Amma!" My voice quivered as I called her.

" Ammaaa! " My lips wobbled due to fear.

In less than a minute my room door opened and Amma came in with a candle in her hand.

" You got scared of dark huh " She said moving towards me.

I nodded.

" I thought your fear would go away when you grow up but you are still afraid of it. " She chuckled shaking her head.

" Why is it so dark here? I didn't turn off the light when I went to sleep. " I asked.

" Light has gone that why it's not working. Here light goes after every 2 hours. " She said while placing the candle on the table.

" Oh! What I will do when it goes at night I hate dark. " I said as I laid back down whilst Amma sat beside me.

" I will place a torch besides your bed so that whenever light goes my little Haya could turn it on instead of shouting my name in the middle of night. " She chuckled more caressing my cheek.

" Ammaaaa " I whined.

" Okay okay I won't tease you. " Amma she said while pinching my nose.

" I wonder what you did when I was not with you. " She asked laying besides me like old times.

" Don't even ask that." I chuckled remembering old days " I used to sleep with lights on but when light used to go due to rains I used to call Sarah just like I called you today and she would open my rooms door with a pillow and a torch in her hand. Even though she was 4 years younger than me I used to call her every time when I was afraid. "

" Poor girl. Who is she? " Amma asked .

" After you left we appointed a another care taker for the house and she is her daughter but now she works too to support her education. " I said as a yawn escaped from my mouth.

After that we both went to sleep.

___________________________________

Third POV

On the other side Mrs Khan was too busy to notice that Haya was not in the house anymore. She was too busy with the preparations of Haniya's engagement and other stuff. She wanted to impress all her friends circle that how great was their first daughter engagement was.

In all this Haniya was happy. She knew about Shayan was party animal but she thought with time he will become better. He will improve with time. Moreover she was impressed with his looks and who in his right mind would turn down a handsome man like him.

Sarah was just covering up for Haya by keep her mouth shut as everyone thought she was parting all night and was sleeping till noon. No one bothered to check her empty room. Sarah was freaked out as hell for Haya because it was now 4th day now since she has walked out crying form the house and she had no clue of her. Now she was about to tell everyone when she received her call but the way she told to her lie for her and she will not come back. The doubt of Haya having feelings for Shayan was confirmed so she understood and didn't forced her to come back but she told her be to in contact with her to which she agreed easily.

Soon the engagement day was here and Mrs Khan and Mr Khan were very happy with the arrangements after all they hired the best décor team.

Haniya was wearing silver designer lenhga with silver work all-over it and Shayan was wearing a navy blue suit.

It was one of the guest that asked about Haya form Mrs Khan then she realized that Haya was not present today.

She excused herself and moved towards Mr Khan. She told him everything but they both remained calm on the outside as didn't wanted to create any scene for now.

After the engagement party was over Mrs Khan and Mr Khan confronted Sarah about her whereabouts and Sarah lied to them that she is on a trip and will be back soon. After listening to Sarah Mrs Khan was relaxed that Haya is on a trip but she was mad also that people noticed her absence and now will be talking about her everywhere. It was not the first time she has gone on a trip but nth time now. So they both decided to let her be.

In all this Haniya was quite unknown of her sister disappearance like always. She thought she is again on some international trip but somewhere she was upset too that Haya was not with her on her big day but she let it go as they never had that good sister relationship.

____________________________________

Haya's POV

Few days passed with me adjusting to the new weather and surrounding.

Life is so quite there no rush of vehicles, no complexities of life, like what to wear, what to eat etc. People were so busy in their animals and crops that they had no time for other stuff like phone, internet, social media etc. They were connected to the reality and the simplicity of life and It all made me feel how lost I was. I never had solitude to find myself. I never found myself. I never knew myself.

Days were passing by but the pain Shayan gave me was being replaced by a frustration. There was a pain within myself, that I was not able to get rid of. With passing days the pain was intensifying. Something was missing.

Looking for peace I moved down towards the river. I sat down there immersing my feet into the water. It felt good but not enough. The void was still there.

I forgot about the time sitting there. Then I heard the Azaan (call for worship for Muslims). The call for prayer echoed in every corner, calling all the Muslim for prayer. It reached my heart too. I felt a peace, a calmness that I was yearning for. A sense of belonging, a sense of being at home. I closed my eyes as a peace settled in. I smiled hearing the Azaan. The joy I felt listening to it was displayed on my lips.

My home was my lord, my Allah. As the Azaan ended I open my eyes to see Amma smiling back at me.

" Amma I want to pray " I said and without questioning anything she said me to come along her.

She took me to the washroom and said " do as I do "

I followed her. First I placed my hand under the tap in cold water. I felt like I was washing my hands for the first time. The sense of cleanliness it brought was amazing.

I took out a white chaadar (a big dupatta) of Amma and wore it in a Namaz style. I took the Mu'sullah (praying mat) with trembling hands and placed it on the floor. I felt a peace stepping on it, a warm welcome that I never felt before. Finally I was in my home where I belonged, and I belonged to my lord and he was my home.

After finishing the prayer I made Dua and asked for forgiveness. For the first time I admitted the sin I have committed. I cried and asked for forgiveness. I asked forgiveness for the past life. How I wasted my years chasing behind a mortal human how was never mine forgetting the immortal lord who was always mine and will remain mine.

The peace that came after the prayer was unbelievable. I felt so pure, my heart was at peace and the void and emptiness was all gone like it never existed. It a was like I am newly born.

Days were passing and I was getting more and more close to Allah and Amma was helping me a lot. She was teaching me Quran and other things I needed to learn about Islam. She was proving to be a best teacher.

After learning I realized that I was trying to find solution of my pain in this world but I forget that the remembrance of Allah can only heal us.

"..... Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured," (Quran: Chapter 13, Verse 28)

It was indeed healing me. My soul was at peace. It was not paining anymore.

I was changing, I was becoming a better Muslimah and I was loving all this.

∞|∞

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