Third POV

Haya was lying on bed for don't know how long. The only thing that she remembered form last night was when she called Sarah after that she only remembered waking up at dawn when Azaan was going on clear and loud but she was lost in her thoughts, thoughts of her future that she had no clue about. After all her all plans were destroyed.

Amma ( a motherly for Haya) came into the room. Softly closing the door. She called her but she was lost, sitting besides her she called her again.

"Haya!"

But she didn't gave any response.

"Haya how are you feeling now" Amma asked to Haya who was lost way too far in her throughs.

"Haya Beta(child) " she said while placing her hand on her cheek. As Amma's hand came in contact with her face she flinched a little.

"Yes Amma" she responded to her as she came out of her thoughts.

"I asked you, that how are you feeling beta " She said while putting a small smile on her face

"I dont know ... Amma .... I dont know ....." she said while looking straight into Amma's eyes and shrugged a little. This was her answer after remaining unconscious in fever for 3 days and crying whole night.

Amma knew her that much that she could see the pain, vulnerability and the sadness in her eyes. She didn't knew what happened to her but she could tell her one thing that she had true believe on

" Everything is going to be alright" she said while caressing her cheek " Allah (SWT) is the best planner have patience beta(child) "

Then she helped her up to sit so that she can bring her something to eat. The fever had made her weak. Amma could clearly see she lost quite a weight in these few days .

Haya placed her hand on hers, which was caressing her cheek till now, looking into Amma's eyes she said "Amma ... do ..youuu remember Shayan .... "

Haya begins. She knew she needed to let it out otherwise the pain will kill her. A tear trickles down form her eye as she started. The one sided-love of years was converted into pain of many years to come. She lowered her eyes to find the correct word to express her pain but there was non and then again looked into Amma's eyes

"Amma i tried so hardddd....so hard to be the one but i was never the one " a sob escaped form her mouth" he... flirted with me . He.... laughed with me Amma. We.. were ..always together . We ...used to talk till mornings. From head to toe I turned myself the way he wanted "

she said while motion her finger form head to toe

" I even cutted my hair the way he liked "she said while touching few strands of her hair

" Amma ....He..... was the one to complement me ..... when I wore some new t-shirt, jeans or shorts " sob

" Amma .... but when I asked him to.... marry me he said I looked like a... slut and why would he marry a girl who doesn't even know how to boil a egg ...... "

she removed Amma's hand form her cheek and took it in her both hands lowering them in her lap

"He said I was never ..... the one. Amma how can this happened to me I did every single thing that he liked. How can he do this to me. Allah is the best planner then how can be this ALLAH's plan for me I dont understand Amma" sob "I...I don't understand Amma" Haya said sobbing with hiccups

Amma came forward pulling Haya into a hug and start rubbing her back, to calm her down " Am...ma ...I ..am in pain" Haya says while hugging her back. She wished that her tears could somehow expess the pain she was in.

Amma knew how Haya was, she could feel the changes in her physical appearance but within she was still the same Haya. The Haya who would start crying when she would fall. But this time she fell hard and it pained her. The baby girl she left behind was now in pain. Haya was just like a daughter for her. Instead of calling her mother's name first she called her. She call her 'Amma' following after her 6 years older son 'Hamza'. If it wasn't for Hamza's education she would never wanted to leave her baby girls. Haniya and Haya were both close to her but the bond she shared with Haya was expectional. Haya was born and placed in her arm while Haniya was already 2 years old. While taking care of both girls a deep bond was established between Haya and her.

"Shhh everything is going to be alright. Allah(SWT) is best planner he must have planned something for you. He the one who never forgets even those who forget him. He created everyone for a reason, its just they have to find it. He must have a reason for your creation too, its just that you have to find it now" She assured her. Amma still didn't knew all the story but she knew her doll was broken. It pained her seeing her baby girl like this.

Haya sobbed into her chest unceasingly, her hands clutching her dupatta like she did in her childhood on other hand Amma held her in silence, rocking her slowly just as she did before, as her tears soaked her chest. After a tiny lapse she pulls away, blinking lashes heavy with tears.

" My Haya's dams of tears are still the same , Always full " Amma said while whipping her tears. Earning a small smile form her.

But with a knock on the door there moment was distrubed by Hamza.

Glancing at his watch he stood in the door "Amma! I need to leave for hospital, there is an emergency. Can you please fix me some breakfast ". He observed Haya and his mother before walking away to the kitchen soon to joined by his mother with in few minutes.

He was himself shocked how after so many years he meet his childhood friend in a very awkward and strange way. Moreover Haya's behavior was even confusing him.

He settled down on a kitchen stool. After few minutes Amma came and made him some pancakes and coffee.

After thinking for a moment he asked his mother about Haya " Amma how is she now? "

"She is better now " Amma said placing some pancakes in a plate.

" Did she informed at home. I mean, it has been days now" He asked while eating the pancakes that Amma placed infornt of him.

" Yes she informed but.... " She stopped remembering her call with Sarah.

"Sarah I ....I'm not coming"

"Take ... care till i am back, I will con ..... contact you myself"

"Just make some excuse of my absence"

Her breakdown after the call indicated that she will not be going home for sometime. Something must have happened bad that hurted her. Without thinking further She said " but ... She will be staying here for few days before she goes. I hope you have no problem with that "

" No Amma, why would I will have a problem with that " He said while picking up his white coat.

" She is still my little sister she can stay here as long as she wants " He said and left after giving her a good bye kiss.

_______________________________________

Haya was still sitting in the same place where Amma left her again to be consumed by myriad of thoughts. Even though she told Sarah that she will not come back but still where she will go. Not back then WHERE ... Where will her taqdeer(fate) will take her now.

Going back to that party world was not an option. It was all for Shayan but after that rejection her self-respect will never allow her to do anything he liked anymore. She was despising herself for what she made herself for a man that didn't even cared.

" I hate you Shayan "

" I hate YOU " She mumbled these words to herself.

One things that was clear that she will not go home, where no one even knew she existed.

Staying with Zoya was even far thought because of her alcoholic brother. What do you aspect form children of separated parents and which are left on there own without any check. The sole reason why Haya and Zoya became friend was there non stop partying.

She came out of her deep thoughts due to opening of door of the room. She saw Amma coming in with some clothes in her hand.

" Haya, here get freshen up and change. So then we can have breakfast "

She placed clothes in her.

Nodding at her Haya went into the attached bathroom.

_______________________________________

She came out of bathroom dressed in a white shalwar kameez and light pink dupatta. She rarely wore any dupatta and that this big too so it was difficult for her to carry it. She simply placed the dupatta only on her one shoulder before stepping out of the room.

As she stepped out of the room she saw Amma standing behind the kitchen counter cooking.

The kitchen was connected to living room. It was a small flat of two rooms that both mother and son shared. She liked the cozy and homely feeling it gave to her.

" Come sit here " Amma gesture her to sit on the stool. Nodding she sat there quietly.

" Haya here eat these, these are your favourite na " Amma smiled while placing her favourite pancakes that she stopped eating knowing that she will get chubby and Shayan will like her less. She hated him more.

She strated eating without saying anything.

" Haya you didn't like them ? Are they bad ?" Amma asked Haya who was eating without any enthusiasm.

" No. .. no they are delicious .. like always " She said giving a small smile to Amma

After finishing the breakfast she and Haya took there respective cup of tea and coffee and went to the balcony.

" Haya you know na you can share anything with me." Amma looked hopefully into her eyes while caressing her cheek.

" Amma! " Haya called in painful way.

" It's their engagement today. Haniya's and Shayan's." She inhaled sharply. " And I don't want to go back ...... I can't see them together " She said moving her finger in circles on the edge of her coffee cup.

" You can stay here " Amma said understanding her.

" But how long will I stay here with you. When I myself don't know what I want form life." She shrugged.

" You can come with me to Skardu. I will be going back there in next week. It is a beautiful place too."

"Why, Don't you live here now?" Haya asked.

"Hamza lives here due to his job, I just come to visit him for few weeks or on Eids. He is always busy with his hospital, so I go back to my brith land. Being a cardiologist is a toug job. I wish I would never agreed to his scholarship to America. " she took a sit to give rest to her aching back.

" So it was Hamza bahi (brother) " She asked remembering the the guy she saw when she woke up, she mentally face palmed herself for over reacting. ' How embarrassing ' She thought.

Amma nodded.

There was a calming silence, Haya thought that her semester break was still remaining and going with her might be good for her. For an unknown reason she felt like she needs to go there like someone is waiting for her. Putting a little faith in her feelings she agreed.

" I am ready to go with you. But before I go with you i need to inform Sarah. More than my parents, she gets worried." She chuckled in a taunting way.

" But Amma i don't think that i will find what i am looking for there or anywhere. Something has changes within me." She huffed and sat on the chair besides her

Amma inhaled sharply and moved her face towards Haya ." Haya you know when you become too much dependent on a person. Allah detaches you form that person just to show you where your strength lies."

" Lets see where my fate can take me now ". She glanced at the blue sky trying to find some peace but her heart was filled of void. Which she was never able to fill.

" I will inform Sarah tomorrow. She will be busy today with the preparations." She mumbled the last part.

She wished that this trip could fill the void in her heart unlike many other trips she had.

∞|∞

Asslam-o-Alikom

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