Haya's POV

Waking up in winters was always hard especially for lazy person like me but I had to because I had to pray.

Opening my eyes I could see Ashar's back facing me on the other side of bed.

I moved out of the bed to pray, placing a quick kiss on Noor's forehead.

Prayers were my only source that filled me with peace. But it was not as usual, I felt a strange panic, like something is so wrong, well what was right in my life anyway.

Staying on the prayer mat. I wrapped my arm around my folded knees and stayed there praying to Allah.

I turned back as Ashar stirred on the bed. Knowing that he would be waking up soon, I decided to cook some basic breakfast for him as I lost my appetite for some unknown reason.

I was almost done with food when Ashar walked in, just in time for his breakfast. Placing food before him, I hurried out of the kitchen on Noor's wail afraid that she might fall off from bed.

I entered the room and picked her to cleaned her up.

I was in middle of getting her ready when I accidentally sat on remote, which turned on the TV and a news channel's sound boomed.

"Industrialist Salman Khan was today admitted to hospital in emergency ....... "

Just as my brain registered the news my tongue tied into knots, allowing only a hiccup to make it's way out.

"..... He had a heart attack last night ....... "

My head got hazy and numb.

"Haya .... Haya ..... " I didn't recognized my surrounding anymore, everything was so hazy.

As the hood of tears cleared out I could see Ashar asking me something cupping my face. Only allowing me to speak in a shuttering voice.

"Baaba (Father)" I pointed at the TV, playing the news again and again.

As I said these word I realized that I was crying.

I though I was okay without them but, no, I was just blocking the painful moments I had with them in last few months. Everything was same. I still longed for them. Their love, their attention, EVERYTHING. I was same, my heart was same.

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Last thing that I remember was getting out of the car, flashing cameras and then moving into a white corridor and the running like an insane, as I saw my mother.

I wanted to feel intimacy of pain, that we are both in same pain.

My feet stopped just few feet before her. She looked at me as I saw her face, which looked much more older than I remembered. A expression of longing crossed her face and then fury took over.

"Why are you HERE?" She hissed upon seeing me.

I was sure taken back but I stepped forward "Mama ... How is Baba ..?" This all could wait. Now, I needed to know about Baba (father).

"Mama ..." I mumbled staring into her blood shot eyes.

"Don't call me that .... why are you here NOW?" she hissed jerking my hand back.

"Because you are my parents....." I mumbled desperately

"WE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS" She yelled with each words echoing in white corridors. "You are dead to us ..... now GET OUT FROM HERE" She pushed me back as I tried holding on to the parts that were breaking inside me.

"I am ... your daughter" I pleaded.

"You know I named you Haya --- modesty." She wiped her tears. "but you are way too far from even called modest .... I wish .....I WISH Haya ..... I never gave birth to you ......" She mumbled the last completely making my existence as a scar. I stumbled back in two arms, as her words replayed into my head

"I wish ...... I WISH .... I never gave birth to you ......"

Darkness started gathering around. I wanted to scream, I was in pain and for the first time it was too much.

"WE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS"

Her every word was thumping in my head, drowning me more into the dark.

My legs gave up and last thing I remember was, Someone patting my check and calling my name.

Third POV

Ashar was observing her as she placed the plates in front on him. He was in haze for few seconds. This Haya was different from the Haya he knew. So reserved ... she was never like that. She was always a open book that he could read.

Shaking his head side way he took a small bite of food expecting a bad taste and then throwing up. But the food seemed all fine .... not the best neither so bad

He smirked digging into the food. "When did she learned to cook this fine?"

Finishing his food he went back to the room to get ready but he heard sobs and Haya sitting on the bed with her eyes zeroed at the TV.

"Now what happened!" He thought tired of her crying episodes.

He stood infront of TV and saw her face and the tears that streamed down her face.

"Haya ...?" he called her but she kept on crying.

"Haya ....!" He cupped her face. "What's wrong?" He asked politely while kneeling keeping his temper at bay.

"Baba ..." she said pointing at the TV as her cry grew louder.

Just as he glanced at the TV. He heard the news being broadcasted.

"Ashar ..Baba!!" She desperately said holding on to his both wrists.

Instantly he felt guilty for thinking like that.

"Ashar...."

"Shhh ..... You want to see him?" Ashar asked while wiping her tears to which she immediately nodded at him.

"Okay I'll Take you" He sighed and went to started his car.

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Just as he stopped his car infront of the hospital, Haya got out first. He parked it and unbuckled Noor's from her car seat and picked her up dangling her in between his two arm, making her cry in the process.

Somehow he managed to follow her in. She looked back once when Noor wailed louder. Passing through the hall. He spotted Sarah who was talking to some doctor. Seeing Noor in Ashar's arms Sarah silently moved to take Noor form him as she was well aware of the situation, leaving all her questions aside.

Ashar gave her a encouraging node and strode away find Haya.

After 5 minutes he found her, furry getting best of him he stepped towards her to confront her for running away like. As He was close when she started feeling dizzy, he caught her from falling just in time.

Looking back and forth between Haya and Mrs. Khan, he tapped her cheeks.

"Haya !!! Haya !! .... " Failing to wake her up he called for help, on which some hospital staff approached him.

Mrs. Khan was still rooted at her place with fear of loosing only person left of her family. She wanted to curse herself for all she said but what once said can never be unsaid.

No matter how much she despised Haya. She was afraid of loosing her. She slumped on the near chair as she saw them helping Haya. She wanted to hold her but its was always difficult for her to show affection because she never had that herself either. She didn't knew, how to show affection, the main reason that made a gap between her and Haya. She scolded her, told her to be perfect, act perfectly when someone showed up. She never allowed her loosen up, to enjoy being herself. She was doing what her mother did to her.

Haya's POV

I woke up and blinked twice adjusting my eyes to the light as I felt my head pounding.

I tried to stretch, my movement halted, realizing my body was pressed against a hard wall. I tried to move my hand which resulted, me wincing in more pain as needle poked my skin.

"Carefull ..... " I heard a hoarse voice behind me as a hand untangled the tube around my hand.

I turned to see Ashar lying just behind me with a messed up hair. I tried to keep my eyes open and focus on my surrounding.

My head exploded with pain. I groaned, curling myself into fetus form while squinting my eyes in pain.

"Are you okay ...?" A concerned voice came along with a gentle touch pushing my hair back.

I opened my eyes, as I saw a blur figure hovering over my head. I wanted to remove this blurriness. I felt the side move as if he got off from the bed and move out of room.

Next moment a nurse came in, I saw her checking some vitals and noting something on a note pad.

I stirred on my bed as a cry diverted my attention.

Noor, it was Noor. "Noor ...." I called in hoarse voice.

Then it all came rushing back. I was in a hospital. "Baba ...." how is he?

The blurriness cleared for a second allowing me to see Ashar's concerned face, blinking few times.

"He is okay!" Ashar said pushing back the hair.

"Noor ..." I asked to which the nurse moved aside to let me see her lying in a cot.

Blinking the heavy eyes, I saw him once more before I closed my eyes and darkness consumed me.

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Next time when I woke up. The room was dimly lit probably it was night time. I stirred and saw Noor placed beside me under the same covers.

My mouth felt dry and I wanted  water. I putted my weight on my elbows I reached out for the glass.

My hand was about to reach the glass, when Ashar hand took hold of it. I glanced towards the hand and saw Ashar holding it for me.

Seeing me struggling he took his other hand and helped me to sit without waking Noor up.

I took the glass from him started gulping it hungrily and just in middle he moved away the glass.

" You will choke .... drink slowly"

Breathing heavily I nodded and slowly, gulped the remaining water.

He pressed his hand on my forehead to check again. I pried his hand off in distress. "Ashar ... Baba?" I look at him.

"He is okay." He took glass from my hand.

"I want to see him" I requested looking up at him hopefully

"Haya ....it not a good idea" He pushed me to lie down which I resisted.

"I know .... But still" I removed the cover and tried standing up.

"Haya ...." His voice became stern.

"Please ... " I tried standing up taking hold of his arm.

"No .... You just woke up. DO you even know you had a nervous break down" He pushed me back by my arms.

"Asharrrrr ...please" I whined as I tried standing up. My head got dizzy making me to fall. Ashar held me by my waist.

As his hands went around my waist, I stiffened under his touch and separated myself, as the spell of dizziness went away.

I moved towards the door and entered into the hall. As I entered the hall I realized I don't know about the room. I looked back with pleading eyes and saw Ashar shaking his head in defeat. He knew I won't change my decision so he quitely took me to ICU.

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Out side the ICU saw Baba(father) lying with many tubes. My heart constricted as flashback came of me and Haniya running around and him, chasing one another but how did we come to this end. We were supposed to be a happy family.

I sobbed as I glanced through the glassed door.

It is all because of me. Why did I fell for Shayan, Why did I ran away, I should have stayed, I shouldn't have adopted Noor. Then nothing like this would have happened. Haniya would have been alive. I shouldn't have been this selfish. Why only my pain mattered to me? I was really a spoiled brat, wasn't I? This is all happening because of me.

My heart constricted with pain. I was responsible for all this.

Shaking I turned back "I did this ..." I mumbled looked into his eyes to somehow conform that I was right. He also thought the same.

Instead, he stared back into my eyes "NO, You didn't ..... You didn't okay" he said like he wanted me to know that.

Cradling my face he wiped away the tears with his thumb pad. "You did nothing"

In this moment I feared that I might fall for the person infront of me and knowing where it will end ... I didn't wanted it. I didn't wanted another scar.

Few second later I moved back. Not wanting his touch, even though a part of desperately longed for it.

∞|∞

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