Third POV 

Tried, Ashar got out of his car to take a cool breath in this cool winter. 

He decided to take seat in the park near by and think of the possibilities, where she could be.

He couldn't go home with the feeling that she might be out there somewhere.

Walking in he was welcomed by a similar cry. His steps fasten up. As he got closer, he could hear sobs of another person too. 

As he took his final step he came across her, sitting and weeping clutching Noor to her chest.

His guilt peaked. Taking slow step he stood in front of her, who still unaware of his presence. 

Gently he extended his hand towards her. 

"Come ....."

Hearing a familiar sound she glanced up. Seeing him more tears started to feel loosely across her cheeks. It was due to embarrassment or pain she didn't knew.

"Ashar .... I ... didn't ... I ... promise .... I didn't do it ...... " taking a sharp intake of air she looked up at him constantly shaking her head in denial.

"I just adopted her"  she pleaded with trembling lips. On the other hand his guilt was crossing peaks. 

"I ... just ... adopted her ..... " Haya claimed slumping her shoulder down.

Ashar didn't knew how to console her he was out of words himself.

Wiping her tears with back of her hand. She looked up at him "Ashar you had a daughter too tell me ...... would you have given up on her if people said such things ... No na..... so how can you people ask me to give her up..... how can?.... just how can you?" 

Ashar was taken back by her question. Looking directly into her eyes he saw pain of loosing someone with whom he was so familiar with. He had lost too. 

"I know she is not my daughter ..... But I want her .... As my daughter ... I want to do what her mother would have done for her."

She hung her face down and continued sobbing looking at the Noor. Who was asleep after getting tired from all the crying.

The point where she made the decision of giving her up is where she realized that the love she wasn't able to get form her mother. She wanted to give her that because she felt how it feels to be left unloved.

She didn't wanted anyone to end up like her unloved and disowned.

Ashar glanced at Noor and then at Haya. Two innocent lives paying for what they never did. He needed to save both but with the accusation people were throwing at her, helping her would even become another scandal, destroying her reputation further more.

Sitting on his feet He said which he never  imagined in his life that he will be saying it ever again but it was most safest.

"Will you marry me?" He said looking straight at her face. 

She was taken back by his question. Her weeping long forgotten. Blinking few times she looked at him like he has grown two head.

" Wh ... what ???!!!" She shuttered with her eyes widened.

"Will you marry me Haya Salman Khan ? " He questioned again.

Her eyes widened more as he used her full name making her heart beat differently.

Gulping down the lump she questioned with widened eyes " Why ....???".

"I believe you Haya ...." He exclaimed with full believe.

In normal circumstances she should have considered it okay but not now when she was accused of such GRAVE sin.

"Marry me ... Haya ..." He said in a light whisper again taking seat next to her leaving a large space in between to let her absorb what he said.

But she was not able to understand. What was he saying. But after a long silence. She came to know he was helping her and it was the safest way to help.

They both were sitting silently. In that silence many questions came in her mind to which there were no answers.

But the life she was holding in her lap, that didn't deserved this.

After what felt like eternity, with a leap of faith she said yes. She said yes for Noor.

After that Ashar took her to near by mosque and called his few close friends as witness.

With a heavy heart Ashar entered the mosque not knowing where it will lead him but now he had to do it.

Haya's POV

I was just in a haze. Everything was blur to me until I was asked.

"Do you Haya Salman Khan take Ashar Hassan as your lawfully wedded Husband"

My throat was clogged with so many emotions which were running in my head.

Anger, fear, sadness and most of all pain.

Was I that bad to end up like this?

"Do you Haya Salman Khan take Ashar Hassan as your lawfully wedded husband"

But glancing at the life in my lap. I nodded. I nodded for her with tear making they way down soaking my end of hijab which I used to do niqab (cover face in such a way only eyes are visible).

Squinting my eyes I pleaded "Ya Allah where is this all leading me. It's scaring me. Ya Allah help me. I am lost please help me find my way."

Then I signed the papers in front of me and I was married to Ashar. The person I never thought I would end up in my life with.  

With a sharp intake of air. I could feel couple of men doing handshakes, and hugging.

"Mubarak ...." It was all done. I was married with no mehnidi on my hands or some beautiful clothes but in a navy blue Abaya and matching hijab.

I glanced up at him who was just standing right beside me looking back at me.

His eyes held pain and somehow I was a reason too.

After getting out of the mosque. I followed him quietly and sat in the car with Noor who oblivious to all that was happening. 

An awkward air washed over as he sat on the driving seat but keeping it aside he started driving. 

____________________________________

It was almost midnight when we reached back. I quietly follow behind like a lost puppy without thinking until I realize I was in front of his room. I felt my face heating up with embarrassment. 

He glanced back at me like he forget I was with him too. Seeing me behind him. He stopped the door which he was about to close. He opened it wide like saying you can come in, instead of going back to guest room, like a stupid I entered the room. After entering his room I realized the mistake I did.

How am I gonna stay with him. My mind screamed.

Uff ... My brain has stopped working but what done is done. I stood aside in order to save myself from doing another stupid thing and embarrassing myself more.

Slowly I started taking in the look of his room. A simple room with a bed in its middle and a two seated sofa with the wall on left side to the door  and a table before it. Simple yet beautiful enough.

"I have to go somewhere. I won't be back till morning." He said

Standing at the same place while holding Noor, I nodded at him.

I released the breath I was holding and sat on the sofa. As he went into the washroom.

By this time my arm were aching badly because I had carried Noor all day almost. Placing her on sofa I leaned back to straighten up my back and started massaging my arm with my other hand.

After 10 minutes Ashar came out. Who had now changed his clothes and was in his causal clothes.

I straighten again seeing him.

While he just ignored and directly went towards cupboard and started throwing cloths in a bag pack. 

Is he leaving? Is he leaving this room? Is he leaving because I came into his room? All these questions started popping in my mind. I abruptly stood up from my place to stood two feet away from him.

"You don't have to leave the room because of me I will go to the guest room" I said nervously through niqab which I didn't remove and I realized now when I was speaking.

He turned on my voice with visible frowns on his forehead. "I am not going anywhere, I just have to be somewhere ..... I will be back by tomorrow"

I sighed in relief but I wanted to know where is he going just after few hours of being married. But I didn't wanted to interrogate him too.

Moving back I gave him way.

He hurriedly took his keys and wallet form the vanity table, stuffing them into his pockets.

"You can settle in" He said with his back towards me.

I saw him putting the backpack on this shoulder and moving out.

I wonder where he is going but I think I still don't have the right to know that.

I lazily sat back on the sofa and loosened my hijab and got rid of my Abaya ( a garment like over coat worn by muslin women) and sat on the sofa leaning back.

____________________________________

After making milk for Noor I hesitantly placed her on the bed.

There was conflict in my mind should I use his things or not but whatever I think, I have to use them one day or other. I have to be his wife. The mere thought of being his brought goosebumps all over my body. 

"How will I face everyone. I shouldn't have said yes to him" My thoughts took a 180 flip.

"But what could I have done on the  road when only one person comes to help" For the first time my mind agreed to it after making many reasonable excuses.

Well life is difficult and for me it was extra difficult but may Allah have keep something in this decision too.

The person who I never though I could be his wife here I was already married and in his room. Sitting on his bed.

I looked at Noor with sadness start to mumble my thoughts to her.

" Noor! this world accepts bad so fast it has no place for good"

Noor was asleep with full tummy probably dreaming something beautiful.

Tapping her stomach I leaned down a little and fell asleep with my head awkwardly positioned with the headboard.

Ashar POV

After leaving her. I came back to hospital with few clothes and stuff for Shayan.

Sitting on the sofa in his ward I sighed.

In what kind hell I am? My life was already difficult, now all this. How am I going to handle all this?

Seeing Shayan's body fully covered with tubes and other stuffs. It pained me to see him like this but on the other hand what he did. He deserved it too.

Pitching my nose I leaned back.

When will this life end and I will go to Maryam. This life sucks here. I did married her but I don't know what I will do after that. What about that baby?

All this mental exhaustion was taking troll on me but luckily after  some time I felt my eyes heavy and I fell in the deep valley of sleep which I needed very much.

____________________________________

I was brought out of my deep slumber  with sound of crashing of a glass. I immediately rushed toward Shayan who was hanging half from the bed.

"Shayan! ...Shayan ... are you okay?" I asked placing him back on his bed.

"yea...yeah ... I ... just wanted ... water..." he said struggling to breathe. 

Picking up the other glass I poured him some water which he drank hungrily. 

"Are you okay now" I asked to which he nodded and laid back closing his eyes.

"Bhai.... I want to go home ..." He said after exhaling deeply looking at the roof.

"Shayan ... what are ..." I was cut.

"Before coming here I visited every doctor in America .... and ... there is no way I can survive more than few months .... " He said with a expressionless face like he was hollow.

"Don't say like this ...." It pained me to see him like this.

"I have accepted it Bhai ..." Shayan said with a smirked like taunting himself.

"Shayan ... We can ...."

"I have been away too long ... I want to go home now.......... I miss Ammi ... I miss you .... " He said as two tears rolled down.

"Your gonna be okay" I consoled him but the way he smiled it seemed like I made a lame joke.

"Bhai .... Let's go home" He said and sat on the bed.

"Shayan ... Please don't do this ..." I pleaded as he started examining tubes on his arm.

"I have been in sky for too long ... I wanna rest now ... " With that he started pealing off all the tubes ignoring all the pain.

It was too much I engulfed him into a hug. Who resisted but then gave in started crying with small sobs.

He accepted his death but I cannot lose him. I don't have the patience to lose another person.

With a deep breath I told him what he was longing to hear.

"Shayan .... I found her .... I found your daughter ...." He became stiff and then a whispered was heard muffled against my t-shirt.

"Alhamudillah ...."

A thing that was very foreign for a tongue that was saying 'fuck' like it was first thing he learnt when he started speaking.

I tried many times to stop him but he never did.

The things I was not able teach him life taught him but it's too late --- too late.

∞|∞

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