⌜ chapter eight ⌟

Letty raises a shaky hand and knocks on the backdoor to the Matthews' house, seeing that it's only Mrs. Matthews sitting at the kitchen table. The older woman walks over and opens the door, offering for Letty to come inside and get out of the cold December air.

"I really don't think I should come inside. I went to Turner for this a few weeks ago, but he said that he couldn't help me. He thought that I should come to you." The teenager tells her.

"Alright. Let's sit out here." She motions out to the patio, and Letty sits on the step that leads up to the higher level that surrounds the large tree outside the boys' bedroom window; she doesn't want to sit on the bench after the disaster that happened last time. "Am I finally gonna get the story of why you and Eric aren't together anymore?"

"He hasn't told you?" Letty asks as Mrs. Matthews sits down beside her.

"He never even told us that you two broke up. We put it together ourselves because he's been moping around more than he was over the Summer, and you stopped coming to see him. You looked so sad that day you came to drop off his sweater." She says, and the younger girl scoffs.

"I didn't even want to give it back, I was bringing it as an excuse to see him... Then I couldn't work up the nerve to actually walk to the door." She admits. "I was getting ready to leave when you found me."

"I don't understand, sweetheart. What happened?"

"Eric told me that he loved me, and I couldn't say it back." Letty says, and her expression saddens. "I didn't... I don't know how to say it. I don't know what it feels like."

"You don't know what what feels like?" Mrs. Matthews asks, and the teenager tells her everything that she already told Mr. Turner a month ago. She has such a hard time with every aspect of this conversation, it's hard to even admit out loud.

"What do you feel when you think about Mr. Matthews? I mean, you know what love is, tell me what it feels like." Letty practically begs as she looks at her.

"I think the better question is — what do you feel when you think about Eric?"

"Happy, mostly. It always made me smile whenever he hugged me, or when he held my hand, or let me use one of his sweaters. And his smile always made me smile." She tells her. "Whenever anything was wrong or if I were scared, I'd always run here...straight to Eric. He didn't even have to try, he just made things better, like I was suddenly safe just because he was there with me. I trusted... I trust him more than I have ever trusted anyone. Even after he became my boyfriend, he never stopped being my best friend...and I don't know what to do without him.

"I was always happy just to be sitting next to him, even if we weren't doing anything. And then he'd drive me crazy, and I'd go home...and as soon as I got there, I wanted to be with him again. I missed him even though I'd just seen him ten minutes ago. And then he'd call, and I'd be smiling again. Even after my dad and everything that I went through with him, and those guys who jumped me and Sam, and Danny who I never should've dated... Eric let me vent and cry, and then he'd make me smile until he could get me to laugh. Nobody else could do that, and I would look forward to getting to him so that I could feel okay again." She tells her, and Mrs. Matthews offers her a small smile.

"Well, I can't tell you how you feel, sweetie, but that sounds like love to me." The older woman says, and Letty looks back at her. "I could say all the same things about Eric's father. There's no place that I feel happier or safer...than when I'm standing at his side. He's my best friend, and I love him. There's no one in the world that I trust more than him. I think you should talk to Eric, tell him why you reacted the way you did that night. I'm sure he'll understand." Mrs. Matthews tells her, and something behind her catches Letty's attention.

"I don't think he wants to talk to me." The brunette says as she looks away from the back door.

"What makes you say that?"

"He saw me and turned around and left." She says, and Mrs. Matthews turns to look in the kitchen window; she sees her son disappear up the stairs. "Who am I kidding? It's been six weeks since we broke up, and we've only talked twice...and it was obvious that he didn't want to be talking to me both times. I think it's time that trailer girl heads back to her own side of the tracks where she belongs, and just stays there."

"Scarlett!" Mrs. Matthews calls after her as she quickly gets to her feet and leaves their house, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill down her face.

—

Jason walks into the motel and his footsteps falter when he sees the two brunettes sitting in front of the tv. They're both wearing baggy sweats and have their hair up in messy buns. The older boy shakes his head as he shuts the door and locks it behind him.

"You two look incredibly pathetic."

"Hey, eat me, dipstick." Letty says through a mouthful of pizza.

"You ordered in again?" He questions as he walks over to the table and looks at the pile of empty boxes that's slowly growing. "That can't be good for you...or the babies."

"Shut up, Dad." Hope grumbles as she throws a licorice whip at him.

"Ow! Knock it off!"

"Leave us alone in our pity party." Letty tells him. "We were dumped, we deserve to feel sorry for ourselves."

"I was dumped too, and I'm not moping around the motel all day in my pajamas." He argues. "At least tell me you two pitiful sacks brushed your teeth today."

"You were not dumped." Hope turns to look at him. "Melissa would still be here if she could be; she misses you."

"God only knows why."

"Words hurt, Scar." Jason says as he shoots her a dirty look.

"So does watching your ex practically run away when he sees you." She retorts. "So leave me to my junk food and bad daytime television."

"I can't believe this is what you two have stooped to." He shakes his head as Hope returns her full attention to the tv as well. "At least turn on some decent cartoons. What is this garbage?"

"Reality tv." Letty chuckles. "These people are so stupid."

The oldest shakes his head at them before going to take a shower — he just got home from work, and he's sweaty and exhausted. By the time Jason walks back into the main part of their shared room, Hope's passed out on the couch, and Letty's nowhere to be seen. So he carries Hope to her bed and lays her there before grabbing his flannel and heading outside to find the third part of their dysfunctional trio.

"I really wish you wouldn't do this in such a shitty part of town." He says when he finds the brunette sitting on the asphalt beside their door.

"It's hard to get a minute alone when the three of us share a shoebox."

"Is that what you want, to be left alone?"

She takes a deep breath as she rests her head back against the wall. "No." She admits. "I hate being alone lately. But I also don't want to dump all my shit on Hope when she's staring down motherhood...and childbirth."

"Yeah, she definitely drew the short end there." Jason agrees as he sits down beside her.

"I just wanted some air...and to clear my head of those idiots on the tv." She adds, and he chuckles as he remembers what they were watching.

"So, you saw Eric today?" He asks. "Meaning you actually left the motel."

"I went to talk to Mrs. Matthews."

"It's about damn time. How'd that go?"

"About how I expected." She tells him, and he turns his head to look at her. "She thinks I do feel for Eric what he feels for me."

"You really can't say that you love him?" He asks, and she sighs as she looks down at her hands in her lap. "Scar, what is it? What's holding you back?"

"Fear. Irrational fear."

"I've never known fear to control you." He says, and her gaze turns to him as she quirks a dark brow. "It wasn't fear holding you with your dad."

"Then what was it?" She questions.

"Hope."

"Are you nuts?"

"No, I'm serious." He tells her. "It's what pissed Miller off so much."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were holding on to hope that he'd become the dad you remembered when you were a kid, but it was never gonna happen." Jason says. "He had moments where he treated you just a little better, and you thought it meant there was a chance he could change back. Miller knew that he was too far gone from who you wanted him to be. So he stayed with you because he knew that your hope would land you somewhere worse than where you already were."

"I really am an idiot, aren't I?"

"No." He shakes his head. "You've been through hell, but you haven't let it change you. You're capable of love, Scar, and I think you do love him... But that's the problem, isn't it? We lose the people we love."

"You loved Melissa, didn't you?" Letty asks as she looks back at him, and he takes a deep breath as he thinks about the Summer that they spent together.

"I think I might've, yeah." He nods. "But she's gone, and I know that she's not coming back."

"Dean's not coming back either, is he?"

"I honestly have no idea what to think there." Jason tells her. "None of this makes any damn sense to me. Dean walking away, Miller letting him..."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." She agrees as she then moves closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Can we go back to being little? Maybe we were never really kids, but at least our problems weren't this."

"We still have most of those same problems too." He reminds her, and she nods.

"Yeah, but relationships weren't tacked on top the way they are now."

"I think we're doing alright...all things considered."

"All things considered." Letty agrees.