It isn't until my parents are gone that I realize I'll miss them. I sit alone in my dorm, curled up on the couch with a warm soda in my lap. Mom and Dad helped set up all the decorations and details, not leaving until everything was in place, even my stuffed closet. And the whole time, I was secretly hinting that it was time for them to go. It wasn't just because they were still fawning over Wesley and his golden heart. I wanted to finally taste the freedom everyone speaks so highly of.

The thing is, freedom isn't nearly what it's cracked up to be. I flick the side of my pop can, listening to the fuzzy bubbles as they fizz. Elizabeth and Rebecca are both gone, each visiting friends I don't know. Rebecca invited me to come along, but she is visiting her brother, who apparently lives with Lex. And there was no way that was happening.

When a sharp knock comes at the front door, my stomach tingles slightly. It reminds me of yesterday when Mike and Lex showed up at my dorm. Lex, tall and handsome and intelligent. The knock rings again, finally setting me into motion.

"One second!" I yell. I set my pop can on the desk and quickly pull out some text books, as if I would ever study them before the start of school.

I hop over some of Rebecca's boxes, which still litter the living room, and peek through the eyehole. Immediately, I cringe and regret calling out to the knocker. I should've known it'd be Wesley, here to make me even more miserable than I already feel. A loud sigh escapes my lips, but if Wes hears it, he doesn't seem to care. He remains at the door, soppy smile on his face, with a takeout bag in his hands.

"Hi Wes," I say, opening the door a crack.

Wes tries to move inside, but when he sees I'm not moving, he awkwardly pulls to a stop.

"Thought you could use some company," says Wes, still smiling. "It's weird without our parents here, right?"

"I'm studying," I say.

"Studying what?" asks Wes with a laugh. "Class doesn't start for a few days."

"Well, I'm just trying to stay ahead," I say, running a hand through my short hair. Then, realizing it probably looks stupid, I try to flatten it again.

"I brought your favorite," says Wes, his voice slightly sing-song. He holds up the bag, and for the first time, I realize it's Noodle Express—my favorite.

I purse my lips together. It's nearly six o'clock, which means I'll need to eat soon. If I don't take up Wes on his offer, I'll be stuck eating a Cup o' Noodles. The scent of fried rice tickles my nose, basically making up my mind for me.

"Fine," I say, stepping back to let Wes into the room. "But only for a little while."

Wes bobs into the room, taking his time looking at our mismatched decorations. My roommates and I each threw something into the mix to "add character," according to Rebecca. In my opinion, it all looks ugly and disorganized, like we really should of figured out our plans before getting to college.

"Where are your roommates?" asks Wes. He drops onto the couch and props his legs on one of Rebecca's boxes.

"Visiting friends," I say.

"And they didn't invite you?" asks Wes as he tears open his bowl of teriyaki noodles. "That's rude."

"They invited me," I say shortly.

I drop into the seat beside Wes, scooting to the opposite side, so that our arms don't touch. His overpowering cologne smells like a new car, totally ruining my chicken-rice bowl. Still, it makes me think back to our relationship, to all the times I teased him about taking a bath in pine needles. It wasn't even a funny joke, but the two of us could laugh about it for minutes on end.

"How's your food?" he asks after a long pause.

"Why are you here?" I ask, nearly at the same time.

We stare at each other, neither saying anything. Finally, Wes clears his throat.

"I'm sorry," he says. "God, Addie. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

I feel the emotions in my throat, clogging my words. I have to cough before answering.

"Never mind," I say. "Let's just eat."

"No, we need to talk about it," says Wes. He puts his food on a box and turns toward me, even touching my hands with his. "I never should've broken up with you. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"Wes, stop," I say, pulling away my hands. "I don't want to talk about this. I was wrong. Can we just eat?"

"Do you hate me?" he asks. Wes looks ready to cry, something I never thought I would see. "God, please don't hate me."

I drop my head against the couch and close my eyes. For months, I knew this talk was coming—I've barely been able to avoid it. If I had known it would happen minutes after my parents left me at college, I would've let it happen sooner.

When I open my eyes, Wes is still staring at me. His yellow-brown eyes are small, yet childlike. Long eyelashes—that's what it is. He has the longest eyelashes, and I'm just now realizing it. For a moment, his innocent look makes me want to forgive him. After all, who could've dealt with a girl slowly killing herself? Who would want to?

"Wes, I don't hate you," I say. "I don't even blame you."

He starts to say something, but I cut him off, holding my hand to his lips.

"It's just, I don't trust you anymore," I say. "You left me when I needed you. Not just once, but twice. Who's to say you won't do it again?"

Wes blinks at me. "But you're better now, Addie. We don't have to worry about stuff like that anymore."

I press both hands against my face, trying desperately not to cry. Two quick tears slip beneath my hands and trickle down to my mouth. I taste the salt and the embarrassment, all at once. Wes's arm finds my shoulder, and no matter how hard I try to shake him off, he only holds tighter.

"I was so scared when you made yourself sick, Addie," says Wes. "I just didn't know what to do. I'm sorry."

I finally drop my hands, letting them settle in my lap. A dark emotion stems from my stomach up to my cheeks, turning my face a dark red. My fingers shake slightly, and when I speak, my words are practically growled.

"I did not do this to myself," I say, spitting slightly. "Why don't you get that I didn't choose to let this happen?"

"I didn't mean it like that," says Wes, cringing slightly. "I know you'd never purposefully make yourself sick. But I mean, you weren't actually sick, and it freaked me out. I just—"

"Get out," I say, hands still shaking. I can feel the tears sliding down my face, but I don't move to wipe them.

"Addie, I'm sorry. This is all coming out wrong." Wes leans toward me, eyes large again. "Please—"

"Get. Out!" I let my voice raise to a dangerous level. Then, I point at the door with a trembling finger. "Get out, or I swear to God—"

Just then, the door opens. Lex, Rebecca, and Mike stand in the entryway, faces pale and mouths dropped. My stomach coils, and I feel the tears burn even stronger.

"Everything okay here?" asks Lex. He steps forward, chest puffed slightly.

"It's fine," I say, my voice a soft whimper. "Wes was just leaving."

Wes starts to say something, but Lex is quick to cut him off.

"Goodbye Wes," he says. "It was great meeting you."

Wes sheepishly edges off the couch, picking up his food on the way. He squirms his way between Mike and Lex, who both stand with straightened backs. Rebecca snaps forward when Wes passes, pretending to bite him. Wes screeches slightly, but then, he's gone.

"I'm really sorry," I say, wiping desperately at my cheeks. "You guys weren't supposed to hear that."

"What exactly was that?" asked Rebecca, pushing her way into the room. Mike and Lex still stand guard at the door, as if expecting Wes to attempt a break-in.

"It's complicated," I say, pitching my voice at the end to make it sound more like a question.

"Are you okay?" asks Lex.

The sincere look in his eyes warms my body, all the way from my chest to my toes. I give him a soft smile.

"Yes, I'm fine," I say. I jerk my chin toward the uneaten Noodle Express. "Free food. Always a win."

The others give a soft, pitiful laugh, but I can't even muster that. I am filled with anxiety, desperate to throw away the food as soon as they aren't looking.

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