⌜ chapter twelve ⌟

Daryl lowers his gun and looks over at Jack. The teenage boy's sobbing now, trying to get away from Rick. MJ turns around and walks over to Jack, putting her gun back in her waistband as she looks at the expression on his face.

"Hey, hey." She places her hands on either side of his face, but he quickly swats them away from him.

"Get off of me!" Jack struggles against Rick and then storms off as soon as he's free of his hold.

Ellie looks at her mother, and then turns around and quickly goes after Jack. Matt turns to look at the little girl, but doesn't stop her. Both of his kids always liked Jack, he figures that she just wants to be with him now because he's so upset.

MJ then looks up at Matt, her face void of any emotion. "I guess you can add all these walkers to your list of people you think I murdered." The blonde says. "From Jr. all the way down to Kelly."

"I never said that." He shakes his head as he looks at her.

"You didn't have to. I've known you since we were teenagers, I can read you like a book." She tells him. "I could see it on your face." The hunter says, and then she walks past him.

—

"Is Jack okay?" Rick asks as he walks over to MJ, she's pacing back and forth by the fire pit in their camp.

"No, he's not okay. He thinks that this was his fault, that he did that to her." She tells him, and he shakes his head, confused by her words.

"How could that possibly have been his fault?" He questions.

"He thinks he's evil, and that that was her punishment for having him. She died so he could be born and then she was brought back just to end up a walker." She stops pacing and runs her hand over her face. "I don't know what to do here, Rick. I have no idea what I'm doing. Matty's dead. Ellie hates me. Jack..."

"She doesn't hate you." He moves to stand in front of her. "She's scared and she's confused. I take it she's never seen you like that before?"

"Just that fight in the woods with Meg." She sighs. "And I never hit Matt before yesterday. We've argued and we've yelled, but we never got physical like that. I was just so angry and I acted before thinking... I never should've..." She shakes her head. "And I'm failing Jack just the same as I failed them."

"You have not failed."

"I can protect them from the monsters out there — sometimes — but I can't protect them from what I've become." She scoffs. "Can't protect 'em from my own damn family."

"I don't care what your dad and your brother say about Jack. They are wrong." He tells her. "I see more good in that boy than I see in anyone else. And you're not failing him, you aren't failing anybody."

She sighs as she looks past him. She sees their people digging. "What are they doing?"

"Digging graves for Kelly, Annette, and Shawn." He says, and she nods.

"I should go help them. Can you, uh... Can you talk to Jack for me please? He likes you, he trusts you." She says. "You're the strongest male figure that he's got in his life right now."

He nods. "I can do that."

"Thank you."

MJ walks over to the others and she takes over digging the grave that Andrea's in. She's trying her hardest not to look at the body laying by the side of the grave. They each have blankets over them, but she still knows that it's Kelly.

Once the digging's done, Andrea goes to get the others. Rick helps MJ lower Kelly's body into the first grave, then they move on to the next two. Rick, Daryl, and Shane fill in the graves as MJ walks over to Jack.

"She loved you, and she would be so proud of you." She whispers to him. "Your mom and I had so many conversations about the kind of person you'd become... You've exceeded her expectations in every way. You are strong and sweet. Kind and compassionate. You're caring and selfless. I will stand by you and fight to keep my promise to her until my last breath, just the same as Cas did. Not because we promised her, but because we believe in you. You are everything that she knew you would be...and so much more. Don't you ever doubt that."

He nods as tears run down his cheeks, and she pulls him into her arms. He buries his face in her neck and hugs her tight.

About an hour later, Rick walks over to their tent and looks inside. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asks, and MJ gets up. She leaves the tent and looks at him. "Beth collapsed. Matt's with her, but Glenn and I are heading into town to get Hershel. He's gone, we're thinking he's at a bar in town."

"I'll come with you." She says, and he shakes his head.

"No, you should stay here. Be with Jack, talk to Ellie." He tells her, and she sighs.

"Look, I know that I'm not winning any mother of the year awards. And Ellie needs some space, believe me. It's the Winchester in her, we all suck at communication and with sharing our feelings." She says. "And for me to do the best I can by Jack, I have to be the best that I can. And that means helping people."

"She's right." Jack says, and they both turn to see him standing just outside the tent. "I can stay with Jess. You should go."

Rick nods. "I'll bring her back. I promise." He tells him, and Jack just nods.

MJ goes back into the tent and picks up her gun. She had been reloading it when Rick came over. "I'll see you soon." She straps the machete around her waist and kisses Jack's cheek. "I promise." She holds her pinky up, and he gives her a small smile as he wraps his around hers.

As MJ and Rick are getting ready to get into the truck they're taking, Matt walks outside, quickly moving past Glenn and Maggie. "Tell me that you're not really going out there." He says, and she turns to look at him.

"I am. And there's nothing you can do to stop me." She tells him.

"Our daughter needs you."

"No, she needs you." She says as glances at the house. Ellie's standing in the window, watching them. "I'm just the one who always leaves, right? No better than my dad."

"I have never said that." He argues, and she shakes her head.

"No, but I know that you've thought it. I could see it every time I went on a hunt or when my brother would call." She shrugs. "I guess it's what we do. The difference is, unlike my dad, I always come back."

"Until you don't."

"I made that mistake once. I won't make it again." She tells him. "I'll talk to her when we get back. And we will come back. All of us, Hershel included. Take care of Beth." She says and then turns around.

"Don't go." He pleads. "As your husband, I'm asking you not to go."

"But you're not my husband anymore, and we both really need to stop saying that you are." She looks back at him. "We got divorced years ago because you keep things from me, and you don't know how to let me do my job. Just like right now."

"When have I ever kept things from you?" He questions.

"When Dean or my dad would call, and you'd answer my phone. You didn't want me hunting, so you wouldn't tell me." She then motions to the barn. "Did you know that Kelly was in there?" She asks, and he sighs as he looks down. "I'm going with Rick. I trust him, which is more than I can say for you right now."

"You ready?" Rick asks as Glenn walks over to them.

"Yeah." He nods, and the three of them get into the truck.

Rick's driving down the road a little while later, and he and MJ can both tell that something's bothering Glenn. She looks back at him, and he sighs.

"Maggie said she loves me." He tells them.

"Mhm." Rick nods, and MJ smiles as she looks back out the front windshield.

"She doesn't mean it. I mean, she can't. I mean— Well... She- She's upset or confused. She's probably feeling—"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling." MJ tells him.

"No, no." Glenn's shaking his head, and Rick is...laughing. "No, you know what? She wants to be in love, so she's— She needs something to- to, like- to hold onto."

"Glenn, it's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you." Rick cuts him off. "And not just because you're one of the last men standing. So, what's the problem?"

"I didn't say it back." He says, and MJ starts laughing.

"Huh."

"Been there." She says.

"I've never had a woman say that to me before. You know, except...my mom, of course. And my sisters. But with Maggie, it's different. I mean, we- we barely know each other. What— What does she really know about me? Nothing. We're practically strangers. But I-I didn't know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk."

"You wanna know how long I knew Matt before he told me that he loved me for the first time?"

"A long time, like normal people."

"Two days." MJ says. "And you know what I said?"

"I love you too?" Glenn says. "Because you're not a jerk."

"No." She looks at him. "I said thank you."

"What?" Rick starts laughing.

"I was fifteen, and my family... We're not exactly the Brady's. I could count on one hand the amount of times my father said I love you to us growing up. And my brothers and I never said it to each other." She says. "But Matt and I were together for eight years, married for five years, and had two beautiful kids."

"This is a good thing." Rick tells Glenn, and MJ nods. "Something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it. And when we get back, return the favor. It's not like she's going anywhere."

Rick stops the car and looks at MJ, he starts laughing, and she pushes him before opening her door and climbing out. Glenn gets his attention as she walks around the front of the truck to the driver's side.

"I know about Lori. About her being pregnant. I got her those pills." He's saying as Rick gets out of the car.

"I figured."

"I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"Don't be. You did what you thought was right." Rick tells him. "It just so happens it wasn't."

"Don't be so hard on him." MJ says as she turns to face them. "He's one of the best minds in the group."

"You know?" Glenn asks as he looks at her.

"If Rick knows something, I know it too." She tells him. "And vice versa."

"I don't know if that's comforting or a little scary." He says, and she laughs.

"Be afraid. Be very afraid."

"That's cute." Rick shakes his head.

"Why, thank you." She smiles at him.