⌜ chapter nine ⌟

"Hey." MJ groans as she bends down to walk into Daryl's tent. He's laying on his cot when she drops a journal on his stomach.

"What's this?" He asks as he picks it up. She lays down on the ground.

"My journal on every supernatural creature that me, my brothers, and my dad have ever come across." She tells him. "And I'm never gonna be able to get up, so I'm here to answer any questions that you have."

He opens it up. "Oh, look at that. First page." He turns it, and she looks to see the page on wendigos.

She chuckles. "Nice coincidence."

"Says here they used to be human." He says, and she nods.

"Yeah, story usually goes that something happens and they're cut off from civilization, can't get home. Food and other resources run out... They basically turn to cannibalism as a means to survive. As time goes on, they become this...less than human thing." She tells him. "They have slow metabolisms and they hibernate for a long period of time. When they're awake, they stalk humans, capture them, keep them alive until they're hungry. Ugly ass things."

"I remember." He skims through, asking questions every now and then.

Werewolves, spirits, vampires, banshees, sirens, kitsunes, ghouls, shtrigas, witches, quite a few other things.

"What's this? Ruga... Ru..."

"Rugaru." She tells him.

"That sounds made up." He says, and she laughs.

"Yeah, that's what we thought." She nods as she looks at him. "When they're born, they seem human. They have normal lives up until they're...thirty, if I remember correctly."

"Then what?" He looks at her.

"They get hungry, start eating anything and everything — including raw meat. But nothing that they eat will fill this hunger that they have. And eventually, they eat what they're actually craving."

"Which is?"

"Long pig." She laughs at the phrase the guy they were hunting with at the time used. He just looks at her as she sobers up. "People."

"There are a lot of things out there that want to eat us." He says, and she nods.

"That's exactly the reason for my family business." She tells him. "It's kinda hard to sit back and do nothing when you know what kind of creatures are out there killing innocent people."

"Mom?" Ellie limps over to the tent that they're in, and Daryl shuts the journal as MJ looks at her daughter. "Shane's gonna teach Carl how to shoot. I want to go. Can I?"

MJ sighs as she sits up. "Mama..."

"I know you don't like it, but I want to learn more." She says. "I know a gun isn't a toy, and I know that I have to be careful. Uncle Dean told me that. I saved you, Mom. I can do it."

The blonde grinds her teeth as she looks over at Daryl. She pauses a moment, lets out a shaky breath, and then returns her gaze to Ellie. "What'd your dad say?"

"To ask you."

MJ scoffs. "Can you ask Rick and Shane to come here please?" She asks, and Ellie walks away from the tent.

"You alright?" Daryl asks, and she looks at him.

"Would you think any less of me if I told you not to have any kids?" She asks, and he smirks.

"Don't you look cozy in there?" Shane's voice gets their attention, and MJ flips him off as she looks at the two men who are walking over with her daughter.

"Not now, Shane." Rick tells him before kneeling down so that he's closer to MJ's level. The blonde looks between him and his best friend, who's standing not far behind him.

"She wants to go." MJ says, and the men both nod. "I don't want to let her."

"I don't want Carl learning either, but they need to know how to protect themselves. I think this could be a good thing." Rick says, and she nods slowly. "Shane's the best instructor I know, and he's taught kids younger than her plenty of times. And I'll be there too."

She looks up at Shane then. "Can I trust that whatever...disagreements you and I have — they don't extend to my daughter?" She asks. "She'll be safe with you two?"

"I'm not gonna let a kid get hurt because I don't like their mother." He says, and she nods.

"Is Jack going?"

"Yeah." Rick nods. "He said that you want him to learn."

"Not so much want... More need." She says.

"We'll take care of 'em." He tells her.

"Okay." MJ looks at her daughter. "You do everything that Rick says. And you tell your dad that if you're going, so is he."

"Yes, Mom." Ellie nods, and MJ takes a deep breath.

"She'll be okay." Rick says. "I promise."

MJ nods, and the two men walk away with the twelve-year-old right behind them. The blonde looks down, her teeth clenched.

"Skinwalker?" Daryl asks, looking through the journal again.

"Uh..." She clears her throat. "They're shapeshifters. They can make themselves turn into anyone. We actually came across one that made itself look like my older brother... It would turn into different men and then kill their girlfriends. It tried to kill his wife." She scoffs. "Stupid son of a bitch."

"What happened?"

"Dean killed it." She tells him. "It tried to kill his wife, the mother of his child."

"And it still looked like him?" He asks, and she nods. "Damn."

Beth — Maggie's younger sister — walks over then, and MJ looks up at her. "You asked if I had any good books." She says, and MJ nods. "This is my favorite, just don't tell my dad please. He wouldn't like it."

The naturally blonde younger girl then hands the book to MJ, and the hunter immediately freezes. Supernatural by Carver Edlund. She clears her throat as she looks back up at Beth.

"You've read this whole series?" She asks, and Beth nods.

"Have you already read them?"

"No." She shakes her head. "No, I've just heard of 'em. I, uh... I know bits and pieces."

"One of the main characters' names is MJ too." She says. "She has two brothers and they travel the country​, kill monsters. I bet you'd like it."

"Yeah." She chuckles awkwardly.

"My favorite's Dean. He takes care of MJ and their younger brother." The younger blonde says. "I never really liked their dad. I didn't really get why she sold her soul to bring him back." Her eyes widen. "Oops. I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to ruin it."

"Don't worry about it." MJ says, and Beth walks away.

Daryl clears his throat as MJ looks at the book in her hand. There's two men and a girl on the cover. The one that's supposed to be Sam looks more like Fabio, and Dean's looks like a grade A douchebag with no shirt on. The one that's meant to be MJ has brown hair — her natural color — and she's in jean shorts and a purple top with a rifle over her shoulder. The car's behind them.

"Carver Edlund is a fake name. The author is a man — Chuck Shurley." She tells him. "He was a prophet. These stupid books..." She shakes her head. "Cas said that one day they'd be known as the Winchester gospel."

"This guy is God?" He asks, confused.

"Chuck is God's vessel." She explains. "We knew him before God possessed him. He had no idea that we were real, that the things he wrote about actually happened. He'd get these really bad headaches, try to drink them away... Then he'd write what he saw... It was my family's life."

"That book is really about you?"

She nods. "It starts with Dean showing up at Stanford to get Sam. Our dad went off on a hunt while Dean was in Louisiana; I was hunting by myself because I'd gotten into it pretty good with my brother last I'd seen him. Anyway, our dad didn't come back, and Dean wanted Sam's help finding him. They ended up on a hunt — a spirit called the woman in white. They didn't find our dad. But at the end, Dean drops Sam off and he goes back into his apartment where his girlfriend is stuck to the ceiling with her stomach cut open. It was the night that Jess died. She was killed exactly the same way that our mother was... I showed up while they were trying to put out the fire." She pushes herself up, ignoring the pain in her body. "Read it if you want, doesn't really matter. Nothing in there I wouldn't tell you myself if you asked." She then drops it on his stomach and walks out of the tent.

—

Daryl gave the book back to MJ, saying that it wouldn't be right for him to read it. She can tell him more herself if and when she's ready and wants to.

He and Rick are now walking over to MJ and Jack, she asked Daryl to get him so that she could explain some things. She's been talking to Jack for awhile now, telling him everything that she hasn't already — Daryl knowing about them, and about the fight in the woods with Meg, as well as what Gabriel told her about the cage.

The four of them are standing on a dirt path, away from the rest of the camp. MJ wanted privacy for the conversion that they're about to have. She plans to tell the two of them everything, and she already got the okay from Jack to tell them about him.

"What's going on?" Rick asks as he looks at an obviously distraught MJ.

"If I'm gonna help you lead this group, there can't be secrets between us." She says, and he immediately looks confused.

"I'm not—"

"I know you're not." She tells him. "It's me."

"Okay." He glances between the three of them. "Well, what is it?"

She then tells him everything that Daryl already knows, right up to the book that she hands to him. He's taking it all surprisingly well, a lot better than she would've thought.

"Do you remember when I first heard your last name?" Rick asks, and MJ nods.

"Yeah, you recognized it." She says.

"I met a man — John Winchester... It's been years now, but he was in my hometown. I was the first responder on a few instances where women were being found, and they had their hearts torn from their chests." He tells her. "John was hunting the thing that was killing them."

"Werewolf." She mutters, and he nods.

"I didn't know you were his daughter when we met. I suspected after I heard your name, but I wasn't sure." He says. "Then I figured that you'd tell me about your past when you trusted me enough to do so. Shane's been wanting to ask, it's part of the reason he's been giving you such a hard time lately."

"Does he know that it was a werewolf?"

"No." Rick shakes his head. "He has no idea that anything like that even exists."

"You can't tell Shane anything. Not if we're gonna stay here." She says, and Rick shakes his head.

"Not if it's not what you want." He says. "I promise."

She sighs in relief and then looks at Jack. He nods, and her jaw tightens.

"What?" Daryl looks between the two of them.

"I keep saying that if I tell you the rest, then you'll want us to leave." MJ says, and he nods. "Well, it occurred to me that it's not really my call if you know who Jack's father is. And maybe it shouldn't be our call if he and I stay here. You have a right to know who you're sleeping near at night."

"So, what don't we know?" Rick asks.

"Do you remember how I said that Chuck is God's vessel?" She asks, and both of the men nod as they look at her. "Well, it turns out that my brothers were born to be vessels too, but not just any vessels. They were meant to be the hosts of two of the most powerful angels in existence — two archangels. Michael...and Lucifer."

"As in..." Daryl clears his throat.

"The devil?" Rick asks, and she nods.

"Dean is supposed to be Michael's vessel." She sighs. "And Sam was Lucifer's."

"He's on earth?" Daryl asks. "Like Gabriel?"

"No." She shakes her head. "He was, but he's not anymore."

"How?" Rick asks.

"In order to set Lucifer free, the demons had to break sixty-six seals. There's a certain one that had to break first, and then the last that had to be done after the other sixty-four."

"What was the first?"

"And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break." She recites. "That's what Alistair told me. He's the demon who tortured me in hell. There were others, but he took the most pleasure in it. I was torturing him for informing, and he told me that in an attempt to break me."

"Why would that break you?" Daryl asks.

"Dean and I were in hell at the same time, but there was one difference. Every day, the bastard made my brother an offer: he'd take Dean off the rack... If Dean put other souls on, if Dean started to torture souls himself. And for thirty years, Dean told him to shove it where the sun shines." She tells them.

"You said you two were in hell for forty years." Daryl says, and she nods.

"We were." She wipes tears from her cheeks as she looks down. "Eventually... He said yes. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain that we felt every day... It was worse than anything you could possibly imagine. And they offered him a way to put an end to what was supposed to last eternity."

"He started torturing people?"

She nods. "He broke...and so did the first seal. With that, it created their domino effect. Demons broke the next sixty-four."

"And the last?" Rick asks.

"The last seal was Lilith, she had to die. She was the first demon, Lucifer created her."

"So, she killed herself?"

"Sam killed her." She tells them. "He didn't know what the last seal was. We thought that she was going to break it, and he went to stop it. He thought he was stopping it. He was being manipulated by another demon — she made him believe that she was on our side."

"So... Dean started it, and Sam finished it?" He asks, and she nods.

"The angels called it destiny, said it was their fate." She tells them. "They were supposed to let Lucifer out of his cage in hell, and then Michael would come down from heaven. They'd possess my brothers and fight to the death. It was Armageddon."

"That's what started this — with all the walkers?" Daryl asks, and she shakes her head.

"No." She says quickly. "An angel can't possess a human unless​ the human says they can. My brothers refused to say yes. We fought it every day for almost a year. We did everything that we could to stop it."

"And did you?" Rick asks.

"Sort of." She nods. "The boys and I... We have another brother that we didn't know about — Adam. Our father never told us. And apparently Michael can possess any of us lucky Winchesters, it runs in our bloodline.

"Adam was killed by a ghoul, but the angels brought him back. They told him that if he said yes to Michael, they'd bring his mother back too. So he did." She sighs. "Sam, Dean, and I — we had a plan. Our dad didn't like it, but we did it anyway — they did, anyway. Sam said yes to Lucifer and they went for the fight with Adam and Michael."

"Where were you and Dean?" Daryl asks.

"I had taken Jack and left. I needed to protect him." She says. "Dean went to find them. The angels all thought Michael would win, and he didn't like the idea of Sam dying alone. Lucifer killed our friends, Bobby and Cas — another angel. And then he tried to kill my brother too. Dean refused to fight back and eventually Sam retook control of his body. He opened the doors to the cage, grabbed Adam, and jumped in. And they took the two archangels with them."

"If you weren't there, then how do you know all this?" Rick asks.

"I knew what was going on and I was scared that they wouldn't make it. I was calling, and eventually Dean answered. He told me everything." She sighs. "And that's the last time that I spoke to him. Jack and I were on our way to Georgia to get to Matt and Ellie when the walkers showed up."

"What were you protecting Jack from?" Daryl asks, and she looks at the boy standing beside her.

"Everything. The other angels, the demons, my father, and my brother." She sighs. "I want to know that they're alive, but I don't want them with us. I don't trust them not to hurt him. And I can't lose him."

"Why would they want to hurt him?"

"Lucifer had a contingency plan. He couldn't know for sure if he'd beat Michael and he wanted some insurance." She looks back at the two men. "Shortly after he found a vessel, he met a woman named Kelly Kline, and he charmed her. She had absolutely no idea who he was. How could she?"

"Lucifer is my father." Jack tells them, and they both look at him.

"Dean calls him Rosemary's baby. My dad calls him the Antichrist." MJ says. "Kelly called him her sweet little baby. She was convinced that he was good, or that he could be. She managed to convince Cas and eventually me. I was with her for most of her pregnancy, and she was...one of the nicest people that I had ever met. I trusted her judgment, and she trusted me with her son's life. Giving birth to a Nephilim kills the human mother, that can't be helped. And I promised her that I'd take care of him. And I have been."

"He's the devil's son." Daryl says.

"Only in biology." She says as she looks at him. "I've met him, the devil... Jack is nothing like him. He chose Cas to be his father, and Castiel helped me until he died. Jack is my son. And he is good. He's my family."

"That's why she wouldn't tell you who my father is." Jack says, looking at Daryl. "She was just trying to protect me."

"That's all I've ever done." MJ says. "But I guess I'll understand if you see things the way my dad and brother do. We'll go, if you feel that's what's safest for the group."

"Carl, Sophia, and Ellie all like him." Rick says. "And I've seen him after a walker attack. The way he clung to you after what happened at the quarry... That's not evil."

"This is the same kid who was crying at the C.D.C. in Jess' arms because he was terrified that he was gonna die." Daryl shrugs. "I ain't afraid of him."

"We can stay?" Jack asks, genuinely surprised.

"I'm gonna insist that you do." Rick says, and MJ smiles as tears fill her eyes. "But this information should probably stay between the four of us."

"Jess and Matt know." MJ says. "I told Jess everything after we found her. And Matt knew all of this before Jack was even born. He's the one who delivered him." She tells them.

"No one else needs to know." He says, and the three of them all nod.

Tears fill Jack's eyes, and MJ hugs him. She chuckles as he squeezes her. She kisses the side of his head, keeping him close.

"We're gonna be okay." She whispers.

Rick smiles at the sight before him. He knows how much these two mean to each other, and he could see the fear on both of their faces as they were explaining everything to Daryl and himself. He's glad that they're both happy they can stay.

The only thing Daryl doesn't understand is how MJ can think it'd be so easy for them to throw her out of the group. She doesn't realize how much she impacts them all and how much they need her. She doesn't think that anyone could care enough about her to look beyond her past.

It's obvious how much she means to Jack, Ellie, and Matt, but it's like she's been blinded to it somehow. She can't see her own worth.