Jessie couldn't believe how awkward things were. She knew her little escapade hadn't come without consequences, but the guilt was killing her. And even if she was happy she'd managed to catch Jimmy for even a minute before he took off, that tiny interaction made her miss him so much, it felt like she had a hole in her chest.

"This sucks," she mumbled, staring out into the desert.

Kyle leaned his elbows on the concrete railing of the balcony next to her and admired the landscape as well, a small crease on his forehead, as if something slightly bothered him. "It's going to take you a while to get back into it."

"No, I don't mean that. You have no idea how easy that was." After all, she'd been someone else completely for the months she'd been missing. This was just like waking up. "It's just..." She clutched her fingers in her hair and pulled a little. "I'm so sorry."

"And you're going to continue being sorry for a while," he said, his voice so calm it was annoying. "Actions have consequences, Jess."

"I didn't even get to say hi to Jerry," she mumbled. "And I really don't like it that Kay's upset with me." Jessie had missed her too, more than she'd realized.

"To be fair, Kay's upset with everyone right now."

"Are you really going to do it?" She looked to him. "Let go if she says it's over?"

He swallowed heavily. "What would be the point to hold on then?"

"You can still fix this, you know."

"I know." He let out a sigh, his gaze lost in the distance.

Jessie focused on the landscape, too. The reddish dunes in the distance created a powerful contrast with the diverse greenery in the hotel garden. It was a very beautiful place, from the layout with columns and mosaics which resembled a maur castle, to the garden and the view of the distant desert. It was a regular tourist trap.

But even if she had a million tiny details to take in, her eyes raised to the sky and the full moon. Had Jimmy made it up there safely? How was he? Had he read her letter? Did he know now? A tear slid down her cheek.

"Hey." Kyle wiped the tear off her face with his thumb.

The tender gesture almost sent her into full blown crying. "I just miss him so much."

"I know. I miss him, too. And her."

"Unlike me, you can actually go to her."

He turned, leaning his back against the railing, arms folded over his chest. Jessie turned to face him too, wiping another stray tear from her cheek. 

"This is a another thing that gets to me. I'm not used to seeing you give up." He just hummed, so she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "I mean it, Kyle. It's obviously hurting you. You've never been one to just wait for things to happen to you."

"She needs to figure out what she wants. I'm sick of leading. I want an equal partners in all of this."

Jessie felt like a right bitch for saying it, but it was as clear as day to her. "Do you really think she can pull that off?"

He frowned and tilted his head. "What?"

"You're overwhelming most of the time. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Kay obviously loves that about you. But it also makes it really hard for someone to actually keep up with you."

"You can keep up with me."

"I'm your friend, not your girlfriend. I can tell you to fuck off and go home."

"Let me rephrase that. Jimmy is just as overwhelming and you keep up with him fine."

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down her face and she lowered her hands. They were shaking. Again. But just thought of her relationship, how it used to be... What it was now. What if it wasn't anything, actually? What if that kiss had just been a comforting routine Jimmy fell into because she caught him by surprise and maybe he missed kissing people?

"Is that what you want?" she finally asked.

"I don't want your relationship. I just want... More." He turned his body to face hers and wiped her tears again.

"Fair enough. You deserve more," she mumbled. "You deserve everything. And what Kay's been doing... What she did with Eric and then afterwards. You're totally right to at least want an apology. And I wish I could talk to her and tell her what an idiot she is, but I'm so scared because I just ran off and you guys needed me and..." She raised her eyes to him. Her entire face was on fire, devoured by shame. But then she poked him in the chest. "You need to realize Kay is a lot needier and maybe that's not a bad thing."

Kyle just smirked, as if she'd made a joke or something.

"I mean it. But you like that about her. She's a strong woman, but she needs her damsel moments, and that feeds your need to be a superhero. Do I think she can and should do better? Yes. Do I think she should apologize?" She threw her hands in the air. "Hell yeah! Do I think she should flip her personality around? Honestly, Kyle, I think you'd just feel useless and not love her anymore."

"I don't know. I'd like to at least see how it would be." He heaved a sigh. "You're right, I like looking after her, protecting her. I love my role as the steady, safe thing in her life."

"Didn't she give you that as well?"

"Yes. But not lately. Not since Angie came back and she broke up with Tom. It's like she channeled everything in that direction and I was just an annoying afterthought."

Jessie could see it clearly. Kay was a very maternal type, always had been, but her attention was usually reserved for Kyle. While he protected her from physical danger, she gave him a home. And it worked. Until something broke the balance and it all went spiraling down. It could be fixed, annoyingly easily actually, if only Kay would admit that she'd done wrong.

But right now, Kyle needed a hug, so she provided. To be completely honest, it was for herself as well, because his arms felt safe. They held her together and gave her hope that everything would work out.

"Do you..." She pulled away, trying to keep the new tears at bay. "Do you think Jimmy's mad at me?"

"No. I genuinely think he was thrilled to see you. And even if he was hurting, he never said one bad thing about you while you were gone."

She wanted to die all over again. The letter she gave him suddenly seemed so small, so insignificant. But at least it would tell him what she wanted. To be forgiven, to be with him, because she didn't want to imagine her life with anyone else. The past didn't change their relationship in any way.

"I'm sure he'll think it through while up there and tell you his decision when he comes down," Kyle said.

"Yeah, I think so, too." She took a step back and hugged herself. "I just wish I could talk to him, which is mostly why I'm so pissed at you that you just won't talk to Kay."

He pursed his lips and didn't get to say anything before the door to the balcony burst open. Kay came charging out at them, her eyes burning with rage. Jessie glanced at her, her mind quickly going back to her conversation with Kyle, trying to figure out what she might have overheard for it to anger her. Before she could make a move, Kay slammed the heel of her hand into her chest.

The blow sent Jessie into a coughing fit, but it subsided the moment Kay twisted on her heels and hit Kyle across the face with enough force to have him step back.

"How could you?" Kay shrieked. "I trusted you!"

Her words made no sense, but they could wait. Jessie charged around her and caught Kyle's face in her hands. His body was twitching and his pupils grew in size.

"It's okay," she whispered. "You're okay. Nothing happened."

"Get away from him!"

Jessie kicked back and caught Kay in the stomach. She wheezed and fortunately didn't approach them. Yes, it was problematic and Kay had definitely lost her mind, but Jessie was a little more concerned with Kyle not doing it as well. So she kept shushing him for lack of something better to do.

"Calm down, it's okay," she kept whispering. "No one's in danger. Nothing happened. We're fine." She could sense movement behind her, but didn't turn. "Kay, if you don't knock it off, I'll really hit you." She increased the pressure on Kyle's cheeks. "Come on, snap out of it. I know you can. Because I can, too."

The affirmation had Kyle's gaze focusing and the tension in his shoulders lessened. "What?" His voice was a little distorted, but at least he wasn't going all Mr. Hyde on them.

"I'll tell you later. It's very complicated. Or not." Jessie turned to Kay, fighting the nest of rage inside her own chest. "Now what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me? You were kissing him!"

Jessie blinked.

"What?" Kyle asked, his voice resembling a growl.

Jessie sensed the danger, but she was too shocked to shush him again. "Kyle's right. What?"

"I saw you! Just now," Kay said between her teeth. "Don't even dream of denying it."

This wasn't right. Kay was probably hallucinating and Kyle was seconds away from losing his shit.

"Look, I'll deal with this," she said over her shoulder to Kyle. "You just chill and we'll talk later."

Without giving anyone the chance to argue, Jessie grabbed Kay's elbow and pulled her back inside. She struggled, but Jessie had no trouble dragging her along to the room she shared with Angie. Maybe the serum was really a thing and proving useful or Kay had gotten really pathetic over the past few months.

"Let me go," Kay growled, but late, since Jessie nudged her forward before she could finish the demand.

Jessie closed the door and leaned her back against it, still trying to process what had just happened. "Kay, Kyle and I most certainly didn't kiss, because ewww. You know he's like a brother to me."

Kay still frowned, her nose scrunched up in disgust. "He's not really your brother."

"You should be more concerned about hallucinating," Jessie mumbled, heading for her luggage. Half of her expected Kay to either bolt or try to hit her again, but Kay just shut her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Headache?"

"Don't pretend to care."

"I do care." Jessie found her miniature flashlight and headed back to Kay. "If you just stopped to think for a second, you'd realize I never gave you any reason to doubt me."

"You lied about being married. You ran away and cut us off," Kay said, her voice coming out distorted.

"I ran away too, but you were never upset about that." Angie came out of the bathroom and stopped in front of the door, her arms crossed over her chest. "What happened?"

"Kay thinks she caught Kyle and I kissing," Jessie said, giving Kay a small nudge so she'd sit on the bed. Then she knelt in front of her and pointed the flashlight at her eyes.

"What? That's insane!" Angie came next to Jessie.

"Isn't it?" Kay spat out, pulling out of the reach or the flashlight. "And yet, it happened."

"It didn't happen, Kay. Now let me see why you're hallucinating!"

"It's that damn water," Angie said all of a sudden.

Jessie stopped and turned to her. "The water?"

"Yes, the water. She's been drinking that crap the Agency gave us for days." Angie scrunched her nose. "I've had my share of funky water and creepy Agency dealings."

Angie made a very valid point. Kay seemed to think so, too, because she stopped moving long enough for Jessie to get the light in her eye. Then she pulled back, but not before providing some information.

"Your pupils are not reacting to light appropriately." Jessie pocketed the flashlight. "Any trouble with your sight?"

"I see what you're trying to do--"

Jessie wanted to punch her in the face, but forced calm on herself. "I mean darkening, sluggishness, blurred edges." Kay's hesitance said it all. "Look, I know you want to be mad right now, rage about Kyle and me, but it. Didn't. Happen. You're hallucinating and I'll want a sample of that water you've been drinking."

Kay's eyes filled with tears and she nodded. "I just... It's like there's this voice inside my head saying all these stupid things. And my throat is raw and my head is pounding. I need the water. It's the only thing making it better."

"Wow, what the hell is in that thing?" Angie asked. "She's in withdrawal already?"

"We need to throw that shit out," Jessie mumbled, then looked back at Angie. "Can you take care of that?"

"With pleasure. I'll just leave you whatever's still in Kay's room. Give me the key." Before Kay could comment, Angie snatched the card from her back pocket and was out the door, her burgundy skirt swaying in her wake.

"Why was she wearing a skirt?" Kay asked when the door closed.

"Oh no. You're not deflecting with me." Jessie dropped on a chair. "Will you admit it?"

"What? That I'm not feeling well?"

"I'm going to freaking slap you, Kay. Own up to it. Apologize!"

Kay glared at her. "Did you apologize for what you did?"

"I said I was sorry I had to leave."

"Had to."

"Yes, had to." Jessie gritted her teeth. "We weren't all as lucky as to figure all our shit out before we came here. And when you stop being a complete ass, I'll sit down and tell you everything. But even if I ran off, I wasn't mean or unfair to any of you."

Kay winced and lay down in bed, continuing to massage her temples. Her silence spoke of her acceptance of Jessie's words.

"Kay, resigned silence is not enough. And it's not enough for Kyle either."

"Does he want to break up?"

Jessie bit her lip, wondering if trying to fix things counted as a betrayal of Kyle's trust. But the truth was, this couldn't go on. They were both obviously hurting.

"He wants you to be better. You know, like the girl he fell in love with, not a presumptuous, entitled little princess. He doesn't owe it to you to swallow all your crap. And if you think that what you did with Eric was not shitty, then maybe you should break up and leave him alone."

For a second, Kay glared and Jessie was half convinced she'd jump off the bed and pound her. But then she groaned and clasped her fingers in her hair.

"Seriously, what would've been your reaction if he'd done what you did?"

"Okay, I get your point." Tears slid down Kay's cheeks. "It was awful and... I thought I did apologize and that's why we... So when he kept claiming it didn't go away, I was so mad, so ashamed. Then he started avoiding me."

"Your attitude didn't improve, Kay. I've seen how you act towards him. I'd never treat Jimmy that way, no matter how angry I'd be at him. No wonder he thinks you want to break up."

"I don't. I just..." She wiped her eyes. "I just want everything to go back to the way it used to be."

Jessie sighed. "Time doesn't turn back. We don't go back to the way we used to be. We need to learn from our mistakes and come out better." She sat on the bed next to Kay. "I know you. I know you can do better. And Kyle is my best friend. I want what's best for him. I trust you can be that. But you need to put some effort into it. Isn't he worth it?"

Kay nodded, tears continuing to fall. "Can you... Can you ask him to come here?"

"Wouldn't it be better if I took you to your room first?"

She nodded, so Jessie helped her up, wrapped her arm over her shoulder and eased her towards the door. Kay was almost dead weight, and worry nestled in Jessie's heart. Just what was in that water? Was it in all of them or was someone targeting Kay specifically? After what had happened to Angie, it didn't seem impossible. Would she be next?

"I am sorry, you know," Kay whispered. "For being mean to you. I just felt betrayed. And I am a little jealous that Kyle still loves you. But you are one of my best friends and I trust you."

Jessie bit her lip. "I accept your apology. And I'm also sorry for running out on all of you. You're my best friend, too."

They reached Kay's room, and Jessie dropped her on the bed. She sucked air through her teeth, obviously in pain.

"Can't I have just a little bit more water? My head is killing me."

"No, I think it's better to quit while you still can. But are you sure you want to talk to Kyle now?"

Kay shut her eyes and nodded. "Before I lose my nerve."

"Okay, I'll go get him."

And Jessie went out to deliver the message. Maybe it would work. Seeing Kay like this could trigger of all of Kyle's protective instincts.

All would be well. It had to be.

♠️♠️♠️

But will it be okay? Am I capable of such a thing?

Anyway, update! Because I actually made a tiny bit of progress writing. I do hope to get more done soon enough so that I can finally finish this and return to updating the rest of my works (which need love and attention too)

Anyway, all thoughts and votes are highly appreciated. Let's get through this together.

The next chapter will be a bit more fun.