Even if Angie had been expecting it, ever since she'd received the text from Tom, her pulse refused to return to normal.

It wasn't even a complicated or emotional text. It was simple and to the point, much like Tom was.

We need to talk. In half an hour at Dinno's?

Yes, they needed to talk, he could bet his ass. Angie wasn't as dumb as to believe Sam hadn't told his twin what he'd done, what she'd said. The truth was finally out and they needed to face each other about it.

Dinno's was safe. It was where they occasionally went for coffee after a long shift at the Agency, or a rare night of fun. It was half a block away from their apartment and since it was nine thirty,  the perfect time for morning coffee. Also, the cafe usually opened at eleven, so he'd probably pulled some strings just so they could have privacy.

As she grabbed her keys and made her way down to the street, her pulse quickened even more. He was being considerate, making things easy for her. Asking her to meet him in a familiar place that wasn't necessarily filled with memories, within walking distance, at a time of day that would be most convenient for her. Because it was a hell of a long distance from his parents' house.

No, stop it. It's just a coincidence. He's the one who picked the time and place without even asking for your opinion.

The lie would've maybe worked if she didn't know him so well. Tom had always seemed the selfish, showoff type, but he'd bent over backwards for her from the day they'd met. Before she could continue to think of ancient history, she reached Dinno's.

He was already there, of course he was. Seeing him sent a jolt of panic through her. What Sam had told her had broken the chains around her, but that didn't mean she'd had the chance to analyze it, come to terms with it. To compute that the person sitting in front of her was a cheater, and not the man she loved with all her heart.

He stood and waited for her to reach the table, but she couldn't move.

It was impossible. Tom hadn't cheated on her. It would have left a mark on him of some sort. He wouldn't be looking exactly the same as he always did, wouldn't make her heart beat so fast she could barely hear anything else outside of it. One single detail helped break the paralysis. The sunglasses. The symbol of estrangement and lies.

Her hands balled into fists and she strode forward, her teeth gritted together. Tom or no Tom, what was done was done. By both of them. And as much as it looked that way, nothing was the same.

He looked pale, maybe a little thinner, but still nowhere near as skinny as he'd been when she met him. Sitting across from him in a cafe brought her back to the past, to how they used to dance around the darkness in their lives just so they could have a few moments of light.

They'd had so much of it. She'd never been happier than she'd been with him, even if that came with so much danger and craziness. But as she'd recently learned, that wasn't on him. It was on everyone's ancestors.

Her parents. William. 

Who had it been for them? Who'd been in the Agency and failed at some point, sentencing them to a life of danger?

"Hey," he said. "Hope you don't mind, but I already ordered."

She didn't give a flying fuck. "What do you want?"

He made a face that clearly said "duh", but kept any sarcasm in. "Sam told me what happened." He paused and pursed his lips as if he had so much more to say about it, but chose not to. "I'm so sorry. I'd ask you how you are, but that would be... Pointless, I guess, since I already know."

He didn't know shit. His parents and brothers hadn't died. He'd never even thought they did, because it was always him doing the apparent dying.

"I'm actually handling that particular bit of misery pretty well." 

It was true. As much as it hurt , she'd sort of come to terms with her loss and chose to focus on the fact that her family was at peace, forever out of danger. Unlike her. Unlike any of them.

He winced. "I'm just... Do you have any idea what happened? Who did it?"

His question jutted something inside her. The card, Phillip's cryptic warning, the information that her family had history with the Agency... It all danced inside her head, battling with the frustrated scream inside her. Why did he had to read her so well, see what actually troubled her?

"No, I don't," she finally said between her teeth. "And I don't really want to talk about it." Because he was no longer the one she shared her heart with and because it made her cry. She didn't want to cry in front of him.

The hand he had on the table balled into a fist. Then he started obsessively drumming on the table top. She watched him, the unease and pain inside her bubbling into anger. Why was she there anyway? What were they doing?

"I should've been there for you," he finally said, his voice filled with muted anger. "Be there with you to help you, hold you. Why wasn't I there, Angie?"

Her mouth dried instantly and the pulse that had been previously raging seemed to stop. But she wouldn't give him this, not after what he'd done.

"Because I was panicking and left my phone with Christine. Are you done now?"

He wasn't. The look on his face said that much. But he chose to pull his hands off the table and say nothing. All the better since the owner appeared and put her favorite frappuccino in front of her and an espresso cup next to Tom. He threw them a fleeting glance, but made himself scarce in the backroom, leaving them alone.

Angie looked into her glass. Of course he'd ordered her favorite drink. It only made her sick to her stomach.

"It only took you two days to break up with me over text anyway," she muttered.

"You knew," he said, his voice low and even. "You knew how crazy you disappearing made me."

Oh yes, blame it on her. "Grow up already! Learn some patience! What I do doesn't have to revolve around what you want."

"Strange things relationships," he said in return, picking up the tiny cup and glancing into it. "They sometimes change people."

"They shouldn't," she snapped.

"Change isn't necessarily a bad thing," he continued as if she'd said nothing, swirling the drink. "Especially when you become more reasonable, more understanding. Self growth and all that. Because sometimes, you finally understand that you need two happy people to build a happy relationship." He dropped the cup, still glancing at it. "Compromise."

His words burned, called back the tears she'd worked so hard to shake off. Because deep down, she knew he had a point, that it took two to make a relationship work. But what he'd done had ruined everything.

"Interesting. So how did sleeping with someone else fit in with making me happy?"

He at least had the decency to cower and she pressed on.

"Come on, don't be shy! Isn't that why we're here?"

For a moment, she was sure he'd just crawl under the table and never come out. "Fair enough," he said instead. "I do owe you this. What do you want to know?"

The question knocked her off balance a little and the all-burning question made its way out. "How was she?"

"I don't know."

Angie blinked. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't remember. I was so drunk, most of that evening is a blank. Or did Sam forget to mention that?"

She ignored the bitterness in his voice and focused on the information she had. Sam did mention Tom had been so drunk he could barely even remember doing it.

"Still no excuse."

"Do you see me using it as an excuse? I'm just being honest." And now he sounded annoyed.

"How could you?" The question came our shaking, but she had to know. "Did you even think about me?"

He bit his lower lip so hard he drew blood, and for the first time, she wished he didn't have the sunglasses on, because she had no idea what to make of that.

"Why are you hesitating? Or were you so drunk you forgot I even existed?"

"No." He nibbled on his lip some more, wiping the blood away. "I just don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses, but fuck it. It's the truth. I thought about you all through it."

The thought brought bile up her throat and she wished he'd taken the way out she'd given him and claimed amnesia. "What?"

"I was so drunk, I hallucinated it was you."

She shook her head, refusing to let the words sink in. "How's that even possible?"

"She had your perfume, your hair color, your style..."

"So what? Should I now be worried every time you go out for drinks that you might screw someone wearing my perfume?"

"First off, I'm not trying to get back together." He leaned in his seat, draping his hand over the back. "Second, I'm never getting drunk again. Third, it would take a shitload of coincidences for something even remotely similar to happen again."

"Don't reason your way out of this!"

He shook his head, his mouth twisted into a disgusted snarl. "I'm not. I take full blame for what happened. It was my decision to get drunk, my decision to not go home after I realized I was hallucinating. My decision not to tell her to get lost."

"How did it even happen?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but once the words were out, she saw no point in taking them back. She was dancing this dance until the end.

"What, you want a play by play?"

"Did you pin her up against a wall or what?"

Tom leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands, a look of mingled pain and concentration on his face. And at that moment, she realized he really couldn't remember, hadn't bothered to try, and was only doing it because she'd asked.

"I think we kissed at the bar. And then I realized she wasn't you and went to the bathroom. Then there was something about unicorns... I think she followed me in and locked the door. Then..." His forehead scrunched in concentration. "It's hard to tell apart reality from what was going on inside my head."

"And what was going on inside your head?" Angie whispered.

"I was with you. We were home and you'd just come back and... Do you really want to hear this? Because I for one don't want to imagine myself doing that with another woman."

"But you did." Her vision was blurry, but she hadn't expected this to hurt so much. She thought she'd be disdainful and haughty and make him squirm for what he'd done. Not feel sorry for him. Feel sorry for both of them.

"I know," he whispered. "And I hate myself for it more than you can imagine."

They fell silent, Angie trying to stop crying as discreetly as possible, Tom drumming his fingers on the table again, looking anywhere but at her. He hate himself. She hated him at the moment. They still had that in common. But it was nowhere near enough to continue a relationship.

"There's one more thing you should know," he finally said once she was done sniffing. "It wasn't a random girl in a bar." He let out a low breath. "It was Suzanna."

Her tears dried instantly. She must've heard wrong. "What?"

"The girl I screwed in the club was Suzanna."

Anger built up inside her, threatening to blind her, smother her, leave her broken on the floor. Her first impulse was to punch him in the face, but she was too disgusted to touch him in any way. So she jumped to her feet and banged her fist against the table.

"My friend Suzanna? By God, you're no better than Christine!"

"I know, and you have every right to be angry." He leaned back in his seat again, looking exhausted. "I just want you to know that she came on to me while I was obviously wasted, so some friend she is. Get rid of her."

"Don't tell me what to do!" She couldn't even begin to comprehend this. "And she does not have my hair color!"

He huffed. " Now she does. It's just a word of advice, anyway. I'm not telling you what to do. We're over."

"That's not for you to decide either!"

With very slow moves, he stood, too, the air around him suddenly threatening. "Yes, it is. Me cheating on you is not the only issue with our relationship. It's just what made me sure it should end. But it's a long string of things. You not giving a shit about my obsession, my inability to get over it, me not being there for you when you needed me the most, you not letting me be there..." He seemed to grow in size with every word, the anger around him obvious. "It's you kissing Sam." 

The words sucked all the air out of the room, but she chose to ignore what he actually meant. "Don't throw that in my face. It wasn't cheating. You'd already dumped me."

"That's not what I meant. But if you want to get technical--" As if someone had pressed a button, all the anger and fight went out of him. Instead, he looked drained. "I didn't mention it to guilt you."

Maybe he hadn't, but she could read between the lines. Because if they got technical, he hadn't cheated either since he broke up with her three days before hooking up with Suzanna. Since he hadn't exactly consented to sleeping with someone else. But that didn't matter. So neither did that they'd broken up by the time she kissed Sam. Tom's twin. She'd betrayed him in the worst way.

"Look, I just want you to know that..." The words seemed to be killing him, but he swallowed heavily and pressed on. "If you and Sam want to try and see if it works out between you, I won't stand in the way."

His words broke her heart in more ways than one. First, because he was willing to sacrifice that much. Second, because he actually thought her capable of something like that. She'd believed what she'd said to Sam. In another life, they would've been great for each other. In this one, she had fallen in love with Tom. Whether she still loved him, she wasn't sure. Not after everything. But that didn't mean she was willing to fall in love with his twin.

"Sam and I aren't trying anything. That you can be sure of."

He just nodded, though she knew him well enough to tell it meant a lot. She knew him well enough to tell anything and everything, because he'd shown her every dirty nook and cranny. And yet, here they were, because some differences they just couldn't reconcile.

It was over.

And it became harder and harder to breathe. It was Tom she was ending it with. Tom, the one she'd hoped and thought would be her forever. But even if she considered forgiving him, it was him who was ending everything. And what killed her was that she had no idea how to feel about it.

"Could you please take your sunglasses off?"

He hesitated, but did it. His composure was a lie. The sunglasses hid dark rings which spoke of multiple sleepless nights. And his eyes... His eyes let her know that it was the end of the world for him as well. Except he was still doing it.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

The pain and longing in his eyes only intensified, but didn't overcome the resolve. "I don't see any other way." He didn't bother to hide the agony in his voice this time. "I think it's better for both of us."

At the moment, she had to agree. Her feelings were a mess, torn as she was between the need to cry and rage at him. She wasn't sure she still loved him. They needed time and space.

"I was glad when Sam told me you let me go." Tom smiled, but it was heartbreaking. "Be happy, Angie. You deserve so much better than me." And just like that, he leaned in the space between them and kissed her on the cheek.

It was slow and lingering, as if he was aware it was for the last time. When he pulled away, he hesitated, his eyes filled with a fire she knew too well. He wanted to really kiss her. He still wanted her.

"I just want you to know that these years with you have been the happiest of my life. You've changed me and I'm not sorry. I just regret that you couldn't change me more. I..."

There he was, looking at her like that again. She knew she should say something, but the words were stuck in her throat. With inhuman effort, she nodded.

For a moment, they just gazed at each other, and a new feeling overcame Angie. Fear. It only intensified when he leaned over her again, this time his lips landing over hers. It wasn't intrusive, he didn't try to get her to kiss him back. It was just one last taste of her lips before he pulled away and put his sunglasses back on.

"Goodbye, babe."

And just like that, he was out of her life.

As he left, the first pair of customers entered the cafe. She dropped back on her chair, her hands shaking. Maybe Tom was right. Maybe it was much better for both of them to end it. But at the moment, it only felt like she'd lost everything. No matter whose fault it was.

Just what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

♠️

Tom sank his hands in his pockets as he walked away from Donnie's.

He'd planned this entire meeting, their conversation, spinning every possible scenario inside his head. The only thing he hadn't planned was that last kiss, calling her babe one more time. But he'd felt he'd die if he didn't. Because he still loved her with every beat of his heart.

Maybe it would fade over time, and he'd find someone else. Angie's ghost couldn't haunt him forever. But he saw no issue with always loving her, even if they wouldn't end up together. He could have another relationship, but still think about her like a lesson to be learned. Like someone to fill his heart.

Because she was his first everything. His first love, his first time, the first person to make him truly happy.

And yet, his steps didn't falter, because he knew he'd done the right thing. They both had issues, and as much as he'd tried, he couldn't overcome his. She hadn't even tried to fix hers.

His jealousy would no longer be an issue. Even if the thought of Angie with someone else still made his blood boil, he no longer had a claim over her. And with Angie a constant presence in his life, he doubted he'd be overly jealous about anything again. A functional relationship seemed plausible. In five years or so.

He was still young, his whole life ahead of him. He'd make the most of it. Or at least he'd try. He was, after all, used to being dealt a shitty hand. A few years of happiness didn't erase the rest of his life.

I'll handle it. Walk it off. Because if it doesn't kill you, you just have to try harder.

She was free and so was he. And he had no idea what to do with that.

♠️♠️♠️

Surprise update since it's my birthday! Yay me!

I kind of liked writing this. Okay, liked it a lot. Because writing angsty Tom and Angie gives me great pleasure. That's why I wrote and entire book about it.

Anyway, did you expect the outcome? Or were you expecting them to get back together? Do you think it's really over or will they somehow fix it again?

Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote for the goat.