Tom knew what he had to do. His mother was completely right. He couldn't let family history get to him, but he also couldn't ignore what he'd learned from everyone else around him. And right now, he was being selfish. He was hurting Angie and denying her of what she needed.

The chance to get over him and move on. He couldn't still act as if this wasn't permanent, as if he could return at any time. She had to know that it was over and that she could move on, be happy with someone else.

He could do this. He could get used to her being with another guy without exploding from jealousy. And if he couldn't... Well, it shouldn't be on her. Because the fall of their relationship hadn't been on her. She'd just triggered it. He was the slimeball. And because of that, exactly because he loved her to death, he had to let her go. She deserved much better than a cheater like him, then someone who couldn't come to terms with who she was, who tried to change her.

You changed for her.

Maybe, but he could live with who he'd become. As far as he was concerned, she'd been worth it and he could accept the new sensitivity she'd forced on him, even if it made everything harder to bear. He could do it. He was a master of survival after all. It had just taken him too long to accept she didn't want to change and that he couldn't deal with it.

That was why he had to cut ties properly, make sure she didn't keep waiting for him to come back. And even if this would hurt her now, it would make things better in the long run.

You can do it. Just go in there, grab your junk and get out. It's not your place anyway.

And yet, he'd been staring at the door for fifteen minutes. She was surely inside. She was maybe going to cry and it would break him. Because even if he somewhat held her responsible for what had happened, he was the guilty party now.

"You're doing this for her, not you," he whispered to himself. If it was up to him, he'd crawl at her feet and beg for forgiveness. But then they'd both be setting themselves up for more heartache and disappointment. She deserved better.

So with a deep sigh, he unlocked the door and went in. The living room was empty so he started there by pulling a few cardboard boxes from the closet in the hall and gathering up everything that belonged to him: the playstation, the vinyls, his mug and blanket... Anything that could remind her of him.

Most of his stuff was in the bedroom and bathroom, but he'd get there in a minute.

"What are you doing?" Angie had appeared in the doorway of their bedroom, her eyes wide and fearful. She wore one of his t-shirts, her frame so small under it, he wanted to pull his teeth out. Thank God he had his sunglasses on. There was no way he could've done this without them.

"That's mine," he nodded at the shirt. Then he grabbed a carry on from the closet he was already standing next to and headed for the bedroom.

"Tom," her voice was already drowning in tears. "What... Why..."

"Get out of the way."

To his surprise, she actually listened and let him through. He stepped into the bedroom, put the case on the bed and went straight for the closet. His heart drummed in his ears, blocking out most sounds and he focused as hard as he could on getting as much done as possible until she spoke again. Thank God he didn't have that many clothes so he only needed two rounds to drop them all inside the carry on.

It was going smoothly since Angie was probably watching him, shocked by his sudden desire to arrange clothes. He didn't dare look at her. And if he didn't maybe she wouldn't--

Her hand wrapped around his wrist and stopped him from opening his nightstand. He hadn't even heard her coming, and now she was touching him. His skin burned where it made contact with hers and he raised his face to her out of reflex.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice pleading.

He blinked hard, trying to shake off the need to pull her against him, hold her, kiss her. It literally ached, a constricting snake around his heart, suffocating him, making it hard to breathe. But he couldn't be weak. He needed to do this for her. For both of them.

"It's your place, isn't it?" His voice came out cold and careless because he'd always been good at acting.

"It's our place," she answered predictably enough. "I don't want you to move out."

"Well, it's not like we get what we want a lot in this life."

Her hold on him tightened until it hurt. Her eyes bore into his, so much determination in them. "You think you can hide behind those sunglasses? Do you really think that I can't tell how hard this is for you, that you're hurting? As much as you play cold and macho, you love me, Tom. You're just upset, but you don't want to leave forever. You want to make up and be happy again."

As much as he tried, he couldn't move. Her words mesmerized him and he couldn't pull away, not even when she came closer, released his wrist and took his face in her hands.

"Yes, I know I did something you don't agree with, but it's not the first time. It doesn't have to be the end of the world. We can talk and figure it out and grow together."

It sounded so tempting and so possible. All he wanted to do was get lost in her, cuddle up together in bed and forget any of this ever happened. He wanted to kiss her so badly... With that mouth that kissed someone else's skin.

The sense of nausea gave him the strength to pull away from her. "You're right. It's not the first time. It's the fifht time, because that's who you are. You run away. And I'm done with that. For one whole week you didn't bother to send one lousy sign and let me know what's going on. It's too late now. I'm done being patient."

"Patient?" Anger flared in Angie's eyes and she clenched her fists. "You broke up with me the day after I left!"

"See?" He shrugged. "I'm an asshole. You can do better." And he started gathering his stuff again, trying his hardest to control the shaking in his hands. If she needed him to be a jerk to let him go, he was more than able to provide.

"You can't just decide to be an asshole and ruin what we have!"

"Had, Angie. Get your head out of your ass and listen properly."

With a cry of rage, she launched at him. He caught her wrists easily, but realized only too late that it was a trap. She hadn't wanted to hit him, just come close enough to crash her mouth over his. The feel of her lips electrified his senses and his entire body hummed with life. He let go of her wrists, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her back.

It felt divine, like coming home after the longest day. The way she tasted, they way she smelled, her fingers running through his hair. He'd missed it so much, it almost brought tears to his eyes. She let herself drop back on the bed, pulling him with her, making him climb on top of her. How easy it was to fall into old patterns. For the first time in weeks, he was happy again.

How could he ever confuse someone else for her? There was no comparison. Which made what he'd done even more unforgivable. He didn't deserve to touch her, to kiss her.

He raised on his forearms, away from her. She misinterpreted his actions and took advantage to pull the t-shirt over her head. Good thing she was wearing a bra or he might have really lost it. As it was, this gave him the perfect opportunity to put an end to this.

"Thanks." He took the t-shirt and pushed himself off the bed.

"What?" Angie raised herself on her elbows, confusion and desire battling in her eyes.

Tom just tossed the shirt in his suitcase and continued putting stuff in like nothing had happened, all the while forcing himself to remember what he'd done, what she'd done, and why it was a terrible idea to have sex right now, even if he desperately wanted to.

"You're just going to leave me like this?" The pain in her voice stabbed his heart, but he had to do something to make sure something like this wouldn't happen again.

Tell her the truth. Okay, maybe not that. Something less scaring and painful. Be a jerk some more.

"Good point." He grabbed a fistful of the comforter and tossed it on top of her. "Much better."

It worked. Anger darkened her eyes again and he took advantage to finish and zip up the carry on. This should be all in there. He just had the bathroom left. So he headed that way and started picking up stuff.

"Where's this coming from?" She'd gotten off the bed and stood in the doorway in just her bra and a pair of shorts that was barely there. "What do you really think happened?" Her voice was filled with a poison made especially for him. "Do you think I ran off to some other guy? That I had someone else touch me, kiss me, take me?"

Every word felt like a bullet tearing his flesh apart. It was all he could do not to wince as his sick mind turned her words into mental images.

"Is that what you're afraid of?" She took on step inside the room. "Are you even aware how absurd that sounds? How could I? Why would I when you give me everything? You're my best friend, you're handsome, funny and smart. You're amazing in bed. Why oh why would you think I'd want anyone else?"

It sounded good, but too good to be true. There was always an explanation and this time it was that, "No one ever sticks around for long, not really."

He'd sounded too hurt. The expression on Angie's face softened and he realized he was screwing up. He needed to go back to being an asshole.

So he shrugged. "Plus, I don't know. A need to find adventure or have someone treating you like a forbidden fruit?"

"Don't be a jerk. I see right through you." No, she didn't, but she came closer anyway.

He stepped back, his head pounding from what he was about to do. He couldn't let her keep hoping because it was not going to happen. Especially because some part of him believed that she was only saying all those things to hide the truth that she really had someone on the side. And he couldn't go on like that, driving himself crazy for maybe no reason. Or being a fool in case he was right.

She didn't take the hint and came even closer, her scent intoxicating. "You're not leaving."

"Watch me," he mumbled. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing anyway?"

She pulled back and blinked. He didn't let her answer because this was it. It was time to make her let him go.

"Do you realize how pathetic you are? Throwing yourself at me like that? Let's say I do it. What then? Would anything change? Because I'm perfectly capable of screwing you with no feelings involved."

It worked. Pain flashed in her eyes and she darted out of the bathroom. He finished picking up what he had to and went out, back straight, head held high, as if he wasn't the biggest jerk in the world. She'd pulled the comforter over her shoulders and tears shone in her eyes.

"Just get it through your head that this is it, I'm not coming back," he spat out, picking up the carry on. Why would she want him back anyway? "It's over. Which means you can see other people. I won't give a fuck."

"Tom, please, you can't--"

"God damn it, stop begging!"

She flinched and pulled away, the tears sliding down her cheeks.

It sucked that this was the last image he'd have of her for a good long while, but it had to be done. She had to realize that he wasn't worth a tear or a thought and move on. Be happy.

He opened his mouth to say one last thing, but realized it would probably be kind and desperate, so he shut it again, walked out of the bedroom and dropped his keys on the kitchen table. And with that, he left the place that had come closest to home.

The cool air in the hall sobered him, but also seemed to feuel the pain. He'd done it. And now there really was no turning back.

♠️♠️♠️

And I'm back. Most likely will have another update today. Just want to say we're coming close to the end of part one of the story. Yay. Then I can finally start fixing stuff.

Meanwhile... Yeah, Tom did that. I'm not convinced about him because in my initial plan for this he was so pissed at Angie and did all this douchery honestly. But the way I built his character, I don't think that would fit.

Any and all thoughts on this chapter are more than welcome. Do you think they're going back after this? And Angie must be feeling a mess.

Stay tuned for more ruining stuff.