Jerry stirred his tea absently. He should've made coffee, but he didn't have enough energy to get up again. Plus, where was he going anyway? What was there to do except sit right there and perform a mindless activity? His mind had shortcircuited and nothing made sense.

Jessie leaving. Tom and Angie breaking up. Sarah. Especially Sarah. He should've said something to her, not play games. Sarah wasn't a fragile flower he needed to spare and protect. Sarah was not Tina. And yet, in that moment, he'd acted like she was a timebomb ready to blow up in a river of tears.

Tom stepped into the kitchen and only threw Jerry a fleeting glance before heading to the fridge and opening it. He wore his sunglasses even inside the house now. Everyone was out of his circle of trust.

"What are you doing?" Jerry asked as his brother pulled out an energy drink and cracked it open. It was seven in the morning.

"Going to college," he answered before drinking out of it.

"Don't you want some breakfast then? That thing is basically poison."

"Good. Poison is good."

"Tom..."

He turned to Jerry, his expression blank. "Get off my back. I'm going to school. I'm on call at the Agency. I'm functioning."

You need therapy too. But Jerry didn't dare say the words, not when Tom seemed to be one word away from throwing something. And he didn't want to start his day with a can shaped bruise on his forehead.

"Working helps," Tom snapped. "You should try it sometimes."

"I do have a job, you know."

"Nursing us is not a job, Jerry. Especially when you're in the dumps over your traitor girlfriend. I mean really work." And just like that, he tossed the can in the trash and left.

Jerry sunk his head in his hands. He now wanted to poison himself, too, but with more efficient substances. He huffed at the stupid impulse. All this had to pass. It couldn't last forever. Things would get better eventually. It could hardly get any worse. At least Kyle and Kay were still together, even if Kyle had been staying at home and Kay had practically moved in to nurture Angie.

No one really knew why Angie had disappeared except Kyle and Kay who had both been sworn to secrecy. Sam was a little pissed about that, but Jerry didn't see the big deal. It was her choice and, as her friends, they should respect it. The only one who could rage was Tom, but he'd given up that right when he'd broken up with her.

"It will pass," he whispered to himself. It had to pass. And then he'd look back and... Scratch that, he would never look back.

"Can't you just wait five damn minutes?" Kyle charged into the kitchen, pulling his uniform shirt on, his hair tousled. He headed for the fridge as well and opened it. "Fuck it, Matthews, that is not an emergency!"

Jerry jumped and only then realized that Kyle had a headset on was actually on the phone. He waved his hands to get his attention and mimed offering breakfast. Kyle frowned at him, but more because he was focusing on the phone rather than annoyed by the offer. He shook his head, gave Jerry a small smile before he picked up a can of that disgusting energy drink. Who had filled the fridge with those anyway?

"I'll be staying at my place tonight, so don't wait up," Kyle said quietly, clasping Jerry's shoulder on his way out the back door.

"Finally," Jerry mumbled. Hopefully this meant Angie was doing better and Kay would be going back too and at least one problem would be solved.

His stomach turned over because seeing Kyle reminded him of Sarah again and how he'd messed up. Maybe he should call her and just outright ask her for an answer and if she said no, he'd believe her and apologize. He couldn't believe he was thinking about her so much. He barely knew her.

"Hey." Sam entered the kitchen, the dark rings under his eyes bigger than ever.

"Please tell me you want to eat." Or Jerry would throw out the entire content of the fridge.

"I'm a little queasy." He eyed Jerry's mug. "Is that tea? I'd like tea."

"Here." Jerry pushed the mug to Sam. "I haven't even touched it and I'm not sure I want to."

Sam took up the task of stirring it without drinking. "Did I just hear Kyle swearing his way out of the house?"

"Yes. But he was talking to some Matthews guy I'm guessing is from his work."

"Thank God." Sam let out a loud sigh and leaned back in his chair. That's when Jerry noticed that the dark rings were actually not that pronounced and that he had a bruise on his face.

"Sam, what happened?" Jerry narrowed his eyes. "Did you go out into the field without permission again?"

"It was a fiasco. But, it finally convinced me to go into therapy."

"Oh." Jerry faltered, the lecture he had hastily prepared now unneeded. "That's good to hear. When are you starting?"

"Today. Herrison made me an appointment with the Agency therapist. But..." He took in a deep breath. "I was hoping you could talk to Jimmy. He went completely off the handle last night. Broke a guy's arm and shot two others. I'm still unconvinced whether he really didn't know he was using the rubber bullet gun when he shot another in the head..."

Jerry winced. Over the years he'd come to realize that Jessie and Kay really balanced Jimmy and Kyle out, and not just because they made them happy, but because they indirectly fought the effects of that cursed serum. Now, with Jessie gone, it was obvious they were in deep... well, trouble.

"Jimmy said he'd handle it by working," Sam continued. "Assured me he'd done it before. Which got me thinking. I might try going to college today."

"That's great news, Sam."

They both jumped as Maxi entered the kitchen, already dressed in an elegant pant suit, ready for work.

"Morning, Mom," Jerry said, his eyes already darting towards the door, waiting for his father to make his appearance as well. "Where's Dad?"

"Do we ever know where he is anymore?" Maxi asked with a light laugh that didn't fool anyone. 

Freider had been home last night and now he was gone. Again. As much as their mother played brave, it still got to her every time. The fake smile and overly sparkling attire proved it.

"He was considerat enough to invite your grandmother over, anyway," Maxi said, heading for the coffee machine, the morning paper clutched in her hand. "So it would be wonderful if you all could be home while she's here." She scanned them and frowned as if only then realizing that, except for Kyle, they were all home anyway, trying to heal their broken hearts.

"Sure," Sam said. "I'm here anyway. Not like I have anywhere else to go," he mumbled low enough only for Jerry to hear.

Jerry clenched his fists, but kept the smile on for their mother. Even if she knew about Tom and Jimmy also ending their relationships, she didn't offer more than a hug and a sympathetic glance, choosing to act as if nothing had happened. As if they'd broken up with high school crushes. Maybe it was better this way, but Jerry still felt like it was inadequate. 

"And Sam, you should go back to college. No use wasting your life away." Maxi walked to the table and placed the newspaper in front of Sam. "I know someone who isn't."

"Mom, really?" Jerry reached over to grab the paper, but Sam pulled it out of his reach and opened it to read.

"What?" Maxi shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. "If she doesn't care, then neither should Sam. This is good for him."

Sam's face had darkened, so the news was obviously not good for him. But he lay down the paper and smoothed the pages. There was a picture there of Christine, all dolled up, dancing away in a nightclub. The title read Christine Palmer, Chicago's newest party girl followed by a longer subtitle Jerry couldn't read upside down.

"Mom has a point," Sam said, his voice blank. "Breaking up with me is apparently reason for celebration. I was never much for the nightlife. I guess all she needed was the opportunity." He stood. "I'm going."

"Can you drive me, too?" Maxi lowered her cup. "I don't feel like taking the car out today."

Sam nodded and the two of them left, leaving Jerry with the paper. What had Maxi been thinking, giving this to Sam? He pulled it over and read the entire story. Everyone was speculating about who ended it, but since Christine had stepped into the world and was apparently all smiles and fun, everyone assumed she did. Which meant Sam was taking the blame for that as well.

Fed up with his violence the the damage he constantly causes to our town... Freaking bullshit! Poor Sam was innocent. Jerry turned the pages, trying to determine if there was anything else harmful in it, like that supposed fiasco last night. A knock on the backdoor had him putting it down and frowning.

No one came to call. Especially not at the backdoor. He stood carefully, patting his belt for his holster. He didn't have it on because he stupidly didn't wear it inside the house. Maybe it was time he did. In the meantime, he grabbed a stake knife and eased to the door. He peeked behind the curtain than relaxed. His paranoia was unjustified. It was just Tina.

He dropped the knife on the counter and opened the door, though he was almost disappointed it wasn't a goon instead of her.

"Jerry, hi," she said, rubbing her arms. "Can I talk to you for a minute."

No, you can't. "Sure."

She didn't say anything, the hesitance she'd shown her entire life still there. "Um, can I come in?"

"Sure." He moved out of the way, but stayed close to the door. They had spoken from time to time even after their last break up, but it was mostly out of necessity and he never enjoyed it.

Tina glanced at the empty kitchen table, but stayed next to him by the door. "I came to ask you for a favor." She glanced at her shoes, still rubbing her arms. "Christine isn't well. She... What happened with Sam has completely destroyed her."

Jerry balled his hands into fists. "Really now?"

"I tried talking to her, but it's so hard to get through to her. She doesn't understand she... Sam needs to talk to her."

"Does he?"

She finally raised her eyes to him. "Yes. I tried talking to her, but she claims I don't understand. But I do. I understand that she's hurting. I understand that she needs someone. All her friends have abandoned her." She raised her hand and put it on his face. "Please, Jerry, you've always been the kindest. You understand."

Her hand was cold and clammy, but he didn't pull away. "I don't understand, Tina. I can't be on her side, not after what she's done."

"I'm not asking you to take her side." She came even closer, until their bodies were nearly pressed together. "Just let Sam know that they need to talk. I think they both need it." Her eyes focused on his lips. "Do it as a favor to me."

Why did she think he owed her favors? Why had she never come to terms with the fact that they had broken up? It was true that he had never outright rejected her, but he'd also let her go. Now, as she neared him, as she glanced at him with dreamy eyes, all he could think about what Sarah. How her eyes were blue, her hair chestnut brown, how her eyes were always full of light and life. How her lips were so full, soft and sweet.

The ache in his chest only intensified. It hurt too much. A lot more than when he'd broken up with Tina the first time. And the second time. He wanted to talk to her so badly. Why did he have to have such poor taste in women?

"I'm not going to do it." He pulled away from her. "Christine's not heartbroken, she's out clubbing."

Tina seemed dejected, but fortunately didn't try to come any closer to him. "She's clubbing exactly because she doesn't know how to handle her pain."

"I don't owe her or you anything. As far as I'm concerned, Sam should stay well away from her."

Tears filled Tina's eyes. Of course they did because she always cried. "I thought you'd understand."

"I tried, but I don't. We're not friends Tina. Because every time we try to be, you come much too close." He was done with close from her. "We're not getting back together."

"We will," she said, her voice rough. "Because all these years, I've found no one else and neither have you."

"Yes, he has."

Jimmy's voice made them both jump. He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning his shoulder against the frame, a lazy smile on his face, looking nothing like the cold blooded killer Sam had described earlier. He pushed himself to his feet and walked to the table.

"He has someone which should be your cue to try and do the same."

"Oh." She pulled away from him, confusion in her eyes. "You should have told me."

"I don't owe you anything. We broke up years ago." The words were maybe unkind, but they did the trick.

Tina huffed and let herself out without another word. Jerry was a little unsettled by how little remorse he felt about it.  Maybe Jimmy's serum was somehow rubbing off on him. His twin sat at the table and Jerry followed.

"What did she want?" 

"Me to convince Sam to talk to Christine. Fat chance that's going to happen."

"I'm glad you finally told her to get off you."

Jerry nodded absently. "Why did you say I had someone?"

"Don't you?" Jimmy still smiled, and even if there was no joy in it, there was kindness, a reminder that he was still very much human. "Texting at odd hours, always a little distracted. Not to mention your increase in confidence and that warm fuzzy feeling inside you. Who is she and what's her name?"

How had Jimmy figured out that much? But then again, how could he not? Jerry could sense the change inside him, too, since he'd broken up with Jessie. It was muddy and smothering.

"Her name is... was Sarah."

Jimmy frowned. "Was?"

Jerry just nodded. "I think she might have been the one to tip the press about Sam and Christine breaking up because I told her. She was the only one outside the group who knew."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. I guess none of us are meant to be happy right now." He crossed his arms on the table and rested his forehead on them. She's just a stranger, get over it. She wasn't just a stranger. She was Sarah.

"You fell hard for her, huh?"

"I don't know. It hasn't been enough time."

"Time?" Jimmy let out a short, sarcastic laugh. "I fell in love with Jessie in like a week."

"I think you fell in love with her the moment she kicked your butt."

"Yeah, true." Jimmy's smile was tender, even if he and Jessie were no longer together. 

And at that moment, Jerry realized his twin still loved Jessie, that nothing had changed for him except the fact that she was no longer there. But was he in love with Sarah? What's the point of thinking about that now?

"I said yes to NASA," Jimmy said, leaning back in his chair. "I'm going to Houston to train and then figure out how to fix their satellite. Want to come with me?"

"Yes." The word was out before Jerry could even consider it properly, but it made sense. It was the kind of work Tom meant, and it was for just a few months anyway. Plus, it was a great way to keep an eye on Jimmy, even if it meant abandoning everyone else. A knot settled in his chest at the thought. "Wouldn't that be running?"

"I want to run. I also want to return. We're not your responsibility, Jerry. Maybe it's time that you thought about yourself, put yourself first."

Jimmy made a lot of sense. It was time to focus on himself for a while. Because he couldn't help anyone. Not like this. He needed a break. And doing something he was excited about was the best way to clear his head.

"Then I guess we're going to outer space," he said.

Jimmy's exhausted smile let him know he was doing the right thing.

♠️

It hurt. Every second of every day hurt. The only way she could face it was to lose herself in the crowd, feel adored, dance the pain away. Everything was much easier to handle with a few drinks and rowdy friends.

Harry hadn't called since she'd shut him out. Sam hadn't contacted her and threw himself in harm's way every chance she got.

Christine read the press every day with a tiny heart, waiting for the day when Sam would damn caution and get himself killed. She yearned to talk to him, explain, hold him. Every night he wasn't there was torture.

So the night had become her escape as she slept the days away. It was easier to handle. Her senses we numbed. If she spun fast enough, laughed loudly enough, the space inside her would fill. Her heart would fill. Enough people, enough attention, enough fun, laughter and drinks.

Yes, she could handle this. She didn't need him. She didn't need Angie. She didn't need anyone.

As long as she was high above them, she needed no one. If there was never a moment of silence, she didn't have to think, didn't have to feel. She was safe up there. Nothing could touch her.

But how would she ever feel this way sober? Because it was inevitable. The party would end. And there would be a lot of pieces to pick up and no one there to help her.

No one.

♠️♠️♠️

Wow, this took me a surprising amount of time to write and get out, but I think I finally managed to close the circle a little and focus on other things. Like Sam's lovely therapy and the characters who won't be going to outer space.

You do realize that whole space thing is not just me being terribly creative with getting rid of characters. It serves a purpose. Until that is revealed, I finally know what the next chapter will be about.

Also, I should return to Jessie now, shouldn't I? See what she actually went home to.

The updates won't be as often now, but hopefully will keep coming until I finish this parts. Fortunately, I have two parts prewritten as RIFOY bonuses, so that should make updating easier.

Hope to see you soon.