Jessie knew she needed to get up off that bench and start solving problems. The rain had chilled her to the bone and her hair stuck to her face and neck in an uncomfortable wet mess. As much as it hurt, as much as it felt otherwise, she wouldn't break if she stood.

Her body was fine, no matter what her brain and heart felt. And there was no way she was giving up. She would just focus on solving one small problem at a time.

First problem. Sleazy lawyer.

She took out her phone as she stood. The picture of her and Jimmy on the lockscreen made her pause for only half a second before she started searching for the number she needed.

As she dialed, she started walking, no particular direction in mind. The guy didn't answer so she called again. On the third try, he finally picked up.

"Jessica," he said, his tone much too cheery.

Jessie cringed. It had been so long since anyone had called her by her full name in a non-antagonizing manner.

"Anselm, I have an issue." Best get it out of the way. She was definitely unfit for small talk. "I was just at the bank and have been told that I still need approval from Esteban to withdraw large amounts. You said you'd take care of sending the divorce papers everywhere."

Silence.

Silence that said so much.

"Anselm?"

"Yes, I did," the man finally said, his already croaky voice rougher than ever.

"Is there a problem?" Her heart started thumping, sending a painful rush of blood to her head. She could already see it. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No..."

"Let me rephrase." Anger and panic battled inside her and every muscle in her body seemed to burn. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

More silence.

"Anselm, am I divorced?"

"No. Esteban never signed the papers."

And there it was. The final proof that she continued to be nothing but a liar. "What? Why not? He said he would and you told me everything was fine!"

"Well, yes, but he told me he wanted to try to make the marriage work and that I should trust him."

"You're my lawyer! Who cares what Esteban wants? You talk to me!" But she already knew it was useless. Reading between the lines was easy. Esteban had paid him off and he'd taken it gladly.

But why did Esteban do it? Why keep her chained to him and never try to find her, contact her? It's not like everyone and their mothers didn't know where she was. It was all over the news. Yet, he'd laid low, made no effort to talk to her, see her. He hadn't even taken money out of their joined account. Just what the hell was he planning?

There was something she needed to do first, anyway. "You're fired, you sleaze bag." And she hung up on her traitorous lawyer.

The moment the line was dead and she shoved the phone in her pocket, everything came crashing down again. Esteban's reasons didn't change anything. Didn't change the fact that she'd been having and affair for the past four years.

This can't be happening.

She'd just lied again. Assured Jimmy there were no more secrets, that she was divorced.

Something seemed to break inside her. The fear, the disgust, the anger all morphed into something so monstrous, she couldn't contain it.

Somehow, she had to do something, she had to fix this. But for maybe the second time in her life, she had no idea what to do. And this time, no one could help her. Because she hadn't just lied to Jimmy. She'd lied to everyone.

Fix it. I need to fix it.

There was no way she could face anyone before she fixed this. And the only way to do that was to go there and divorce Esteban again. Properly this time.

Her body took over and she headed down the street, towards her house. It wasn't her house. It was Jimmy's. And they'd been so happy there, living a lie. A lie she so gladly lost herself in, not once thinking about the ease with which she'd gotten what she'd wanted.

It was so obvious. Esteban left her alone. Her parents left her alone. All because they all knew she'd come back. It could've been much worse. She could've discovered this when she and Jimmy would have decided to get married.

The thought was so painful, a sob left her lips. She was so unsure what to do about this. About her new life. She didn't deserve the others because they weren't frauds like her.

I need to fix this.

She reached home and started pulling her clothes out of the closet. Before she could dwell on the new, she had to fix the old. She couldn't face Jimmy again. Couldn't face any of them, couldn't explain how she'd betrayed their trust.

And you put so much price on honesty. Judging everyone from your high horse when all along, you were nothing but a fraud.

She sat on the floor and clenched her head in her hands. Her body trembled. She was still wet. The cold had seeped to her core and turned her entire world a bleak shade of blue. Not grey, because a world with Jimmy in it, a world with all her wonderful friends in it, could never be grey, but monochrome enough to kill her hope.

This is so....

No, it wasn't. It wasn't pathetic, it wasn't sad, it wasn't even stupid. It was justified. Crying for her mess up and everything she'd lost made perfect sense. So did crashing down into a pit of melancholy and taking out all the pictures of her and Jimmy. They didn't have many because they enjoyed life and each other to the fullest, only taking pictures when they remembered. They only reflected an insignificant fraction of what they've lived through together.

Not the longing, not the love, not the support they gave each other when they felt they were falling apart. Not the random dancing around the apartment, not the sneaking into each other's dorm rooms in college, not the days they'd just spend in bed.

A few group photos with the others and about a dozen of them. A dozen photos in almost four years. They all had one thing in common, though. She and Jimmy were always happy and in love.

Suddenly feeling sick to her stomach, she threw the photographs away. The cardboard box in her lap fell over and spilled its content as she stood, but she didn't care. This was over.

And with that, she started stuffing her clothes and her other stuff into suitcases, ready to relieve Jimmy of her presence and go figure out her own damn life. Exactly like she should have from the beginning.

She'd failed the first time because she'd been young and inexperienced. But this time, she'd do it right. And for that, she needed to get her ass out of that house and back to where this mess started.

Like in a dream, Jessie called a cab, closed her suitcases and was ready to haul them down the stairs when she faltered. In a moment of total weakness, she took the framed picture of her and Jimmy on her nightstand and stuffed it in her backpack, then left without a backwards glance.

If she wanted to do this, she had to focus on what was in front of her, not what she was leaving behind. Everyone was better off without her at the moment. It didn't have to be that way forever, but she couldn't focus on that now.

On the way to the airport, she purchased a ticket. It was so easy when it was the middle of the day, the middle of the week, and she was going to a place which was a popular tourist destination. She didn't even have to wait around. The way it was, she barely had time to make it through security before the plane took off.

By the time she reached the terminal, people were already queued up to check in their luggage. She joined them, for the first time realizing she had a mountain of luggage and that she might have to pay extra for it. The thought made her laugh. Who cared? She only wished the line would move faster so she could get out of there.

"Jessie?"

Her blood froze in her veins. This couldn't be happening. And yet, she couldn't stop her head from turning in the direction of the voice.

She'd been so busy with her pity party and warping reality that she hadn't even noticed the police squadron in masks and armed to the teeth wondering around. And out of them came one figure who she would recognize anywhere, even if he'd kept the mask on.

But he didn't. Kyle tore it off as he headed towards her, his dark blue eyes filled with worry and confusion. Someone probably hissed something into his earpiece because he frowned and switched his transmitter off.

"What happened? Where are you going?" He took in the mountain of luggage around her.

She couldn't open her mouth, couldn't look away from him. From his Kevlar vest and the assault rifle he was holding as if it were nothing, from the expression on his face which had nothing to do with his warrior attire.

"Jessie." He took her hand and sat her on a nearby plastic chair, sitting next to her. "Did Jimmy do anything?"

"No." It was the first word which could safely get out. Because there was no way she was letting Jimmy take the blame. "It was me, Kyle. I messed everything up."

"Whatever happened, it can't be this bad." He indicated towards her luggage.

Tears blurred her vision and she shook her head. "It is. And I need to do this or I could never live with myself again."

"Whatever it is that you have to do, you don't have to do it alone."

The words were like bullets, piercing through her, letting hope bleed out. Could she really seek help? Would it... Her vision darkened and she stiffened. No. What she was running towards, she had to face alone. Because if she didn't, she would be condemning the ones she loved most to making some very bad choices.

"Yes, I do." She looked Kyle in the eyes. "This is my battle and I have to finish it."

He frowned, obviously not understanding how there could be a battle that didn't involve him. "Jessie..."

She put her hand over his mouth. "No. I have to do this alone. And when I'm done, I'll come back to you."

He understood what she meant because he just nodded, even if he was obviously not okay with it. "Can I at least know where you're going?"

Hesitation delayed her answer for a moment, but it wasn't like the information could do anyone harm. "To the place I came from. And I'm asking that you don't follow. Don't call. Don't talk to me for as long as I chose because..." Her voice already cracked, but it was vital to get this out. "Because if you do, I will miss you so much and crumble and I need to be strong."

Kyle hugged her. The rifle cut into her sternum, but she hugged him back, the contact bringing more tears to her eyes.

"I hate this," he mumbled into her hair. "Why can't you tell me?"

"I just can't," she sobbed. "I broke my promise. And I can't face him again. Not him, not any of you. Please..."

Kyle tore her away from him, his eyes filled with so much pain it broke her all over again. But he didn't push. As usual, he respected her choices. And she couldn't help but cup his cheek and smile weakly.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you, too, Jess. Just promise me you'll come back."

She couldn't because she had no idea what awaited her on the other side. So she just said, "Tell the others that I love them."

He got the message and his shoulders sagged. "Will do."

And when she stood, he let her, and when she waved goodbye, he hugged her again. She hugged him back, basking in his strength, in his familiarity and everything he stood for. A brother, a best friend, a life of safety, joy and love.

When she left, he didn't follow. And just like that, Jessie left behind her family as well.

♠️

This was the stupidest fucking situation ever and there was no way it wouldn't be fixed, even if Kyle had to kick Jimmy's ass all the way to California.

He'd stayed at the airport just long enough to make sure the anonymous bomb threat really was a dud, because that happened more times than he cared to count, and to see Jessie's plane safely take off, after which he'd left his team to finish up and headed for the one place he knew he'd find answers.

He didn't even bother with knocking. Once he reached Jimmy's door, Kyle put in his fingerprint and punched in the code. The door opened much too slow for his liking, as if the system was trying to protect its master.

Not for long. Kyle pushed the door open and stormed in.

"Jimmy!" he called, but froze the next second.

Jimmy was not trying to hide from his rage. He was at the kitchen table, a glass in his hand, a half empty bottle next to him, and Kyle could do nothing but stare. From the smell, it was obvious the bottle was not filled with tea.

He pushed the door closed with his heel and joined his brother at the table.

"How?" was all he could ask.

Jimmy smiled at him, a haze in his eyes that Kyle had seen much too often lately.

"The trick is to go just one tiny sip at a time," he said, his voice clear, but a little too dreamy. "Took me three rounds of heavy vomiting to figure that out. But if you don't force it, if you are patient..." He poured a sip of the brown liquid into the glass and drank it. Then sucked air through his teeth and made a face. "Not saying it's easy or pleasant."

Kyle just stared. Seeing Jimmy tipsy was so shocking, it was hard to remember why he was there in the first place.

Jimmy studied the empty glass in his hand as if it were the most fascinating thing ever. "Did you know she was married, Kyle?"

He jumped. "What?"

"Jessie," Jimmy said again, twisting the glass to catch the light. "She's married to Esteban. Never bothered to mention it, though."

Everything seemed to freeze inside Kyle as he tried to process what he'd just heard. It made sense. It made fucking sense for something like this to be the only reason Jessie and Jimmy would brake up. But at the same time, it made no sense.

"How could she hide this so well?" he whispered.

"I know, right?" Jimmy smiled, but it was bitter. "When I found out I couldn't even... I mean Alice kept talking and I couldn't for the life of me understand why the world hadn't just stopped. Kinda like the time she told me she was engaged. Which gets me thinking... She lied to me then. Either that or she married him afterwards, but that would make it iffy when she got divorced. Though I don't think she did."

Kyle didn't think so either, not after what she'd said to him at the airport. "She left, you know. I ran into her at the airport."

"You're in airport friendly attire I see."

It was such poor deflection, Kyle felt bad for him. It didn't last long either as he returned his attention to the glass.

"It doesn't change anything, you know," he said. "Being an affair. Not how I feel, not how much this hurts. But I can't... The lying... How well she lied. That's what shocks me. I trusted her with my life. I never saw this coming."

Kyle nodded, because if he were honest, that was what shocked him most, too. Loyal, honest to a fault Jessie. She'd kept her past so well hidden from everyone until... "Alice?"

"Ironic, isn't it?"

It was. And probably the worst way for everything to go down. He missed Jessie already and couldn't be angry with her, but Jimmy had done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing he wouldn't have done himself, maybe except break something.

As if reading his mind, the glass shattered in Jimmy's hand, shards raining on the table. A trickle of blood ran from his palm, down his wrist. He made no move to wipe it, just watched the progress of the crimson drop to the surface of the table.

"You can't keep drinking." Kyle took the assault rifle off and left it on the table, then got up and grabbed a paper towel. "Sam and Tom are enough. I can't have you making stupid choices as well."

"Oh, no. This is a one time thing. Or maybe a once a month time thing, I don't know." He took the towel and wrapped it around his hand. "But I can't afford to keep doing this. Not when I don't know what I'm capable of if I lose control." His eyes roamed over the rifle as he said this. "I don't trust myself."

And what an issue that had become for both of them. "With yourself or others?"

Jimmy huffed. "Others. I know how to handle myself. I've been crushed before and I've found that getting lost in work helps. And who doesn't want to go to outer space?"

Kyle nodded, but it was a mechanical gesture. He didn't agree or disagree with Jimmy's plan. He still wasn't sure what to make of Jessie and her secrets. Half of him wanted to follow her, but he trusted her and maybe it wasn't his place to butt into her life. She'd made that much clear.

What else are you hiding? Because there was more, something she was so desperate to keep from them that she walked into the belly of the beast by herself.

"Is this really it?" he asked no one in particular.

"It's out of my hands right now." Jimmy shook his head. "And before you ask, I have no idea what I'd do if she came back."

"She asked us not to contact her."

"Sounds like her. This is what she thinks is fair. And she knew we'd listen, you and me. Because I've always respected her choices, whether I agreed with them or not. Except that her choices have consequences."

They fell silent. Kyle could sense he needed to leave, that Jimmy wanted to be alone, but he couldn't bring himself to get up. Because Jessie had been so much more than Jimmy's girlfriend.

She was his best friend, and her loss weighed heavy on him.

"Why is everything falling apart?"

"It's not." Jimmy gave him a weak smile. "As long as you and Kay are still together, the rest of us have hope."

It was meant to be encouragement, but Kyle only felt a huge weight on his shoulders. Nothing was certain anymore and this only added to the pressure he was already feeling.

But given everything that had happened, maybe that wedding ring his mother had given him and which he'd tossed in the back of his nightstand drawer was not such a bad idea.

♠️♠️♠️

Yay, an update. But not only that. Did you see? Did you see my amazing new covers??? 😍😍😍

I can't express my love for them and for the wonderful @italychick enough. They're amazing and just so... Ugh! She made yellow covers look good.

So yes, gushing about awesome covers aside (GUSH!) I'm back in business and some interesting developments are waiting to happen. The next few chapters will be packed with life changing events and maybe, just maybe, not all of them bad. I'm kidding, it's all terrible.

Does Jessie's choice make sense? And do you think she'll be back? And if she will, would Jimmy take her back? Or did this fall on its head as bad as the other two?

Speaking of which, about time Angie got home, right? 😁

Hoping to get some more writing done. Vote and comment and OMG love the covers!!!