Chapter Sixteen

Sometimes I asked myself what life would have been like if I had never tried to save Zeus's life during the Titanomachy.

Would the balance have ruptured then? Had he begun to draw his power from the Source? Would I have hated myself if Zeus had died before he ever had the chance to turn against me? Who would have led the Olympians? Would we have lost to the Titans? Would the worlds have been any different?

It was times like that where being a god of time would have been a nice thing. I would be able to see what would have happened if my decisions had been made differently.

In the end, I knew it wouldn't matter. The decisions I made were because of the person I was. I wasn't cold enough to stand by while my brother was butchered by our father. I wasn't cold enough to let them fight on their own against one of the most dangerous group of gods in the worlds. No matter what I would have known, I probably would have saved Zeus either way and all those things would happen just as they were meant to happen. Because that's how the Fates worked. Everything happened for a reason.

I suffered for a reason. I became bitter for a reason. I was tested for a reason.

Was I the villain or was I the good guy?

I suppose it depended on what your definition of good and bad was.

Most days, I wanted to be the bad guy. Even though the bad guy always lost, he was feared and he was powerful and no one degraded him. The bad guy may not have come out on top, but he was never at the bottom either.

The good guy made people happy. The good guy suffered, but he went through it anyway so long as the people around them were happy and safe and alive. The good guy saved the worlds.

But what if the good guy didn't want to suffer? What if the good guy wanted something for himself? Did that make him the bad guy?

Good and bad. The world wasn't made of black and white.

Shades of gray.

Shades of gray...

"Ten," Zeus stated, leaning over top of me as I glared up at him with narrowed eyes, "You may choose any ten gods to join you in your battle against the Titans, but I will not be one of them. As a king, I am a pedestal of hope. They will need someone to sit above them to reassure them that nothing has changed. But you may choose ten gods, any aside from myself, to protect the realms." I said nothing, just watched him snatch his pants up and pull the zipper shut. He started to leave, then paused and looked over at me, disgusted.

"You're doing it again," He sneered, "Stop trying to be what you are not, Hades. You were born for this." Without another word, he left me laying there on the floor of the shed at he end of the hallway. I breathed out a long sigh of relief, savoring the cold loneliness of the room. I rolled onto my side, grimacing at the way my bones protested the movements. I felt blood soaking the inside of my legs, dripping from the corner of my mouth. I closed my eyes and sent the magic pulsing through my veins to heal the damage.

And this time, I actually knew how to heal the damage without causing myself further harm.

I pushed myself up to my feet, stumbled for a moment and caught myself against the wall. I stooped down carefully, picking up my pants and pausing to frown at the way they'd been torn. I didn't want to waste more magic in fixing them, but if I walked out there like this, they would instantly know what had happened and Zeus would do something worse as punishment. I repaired the pants, then carefully ran my hands along the inside of my legs to wipe up the blood. I wiped the blood on the inside of the pant legs of the jeans so that no one would see, then pulled the pants on carefully, zipping it up.

I brushed my hands over my throat, feeling a couple hickeys that thankfully were hidden by my hair in the back. I swept my hair over one shoulder, hiding the hickeys better. I took a deep breath, reaching up to press my palms against my temples to ease the throbbing headache there.

I reached up and covered my eyes, soothing away any redness. I dropped my hands, took another deep breath before leaving the shed, closing the door behind me and heading down the corridor.

I had only healed the physical damage. The pain still throbbed and my legs felt like they would buckle. I slowed down near the door, giving myself a second to recover my strength. I didn't have enough magic to heal myself and then go to war. I had to conserve it.

Another deep breath, and I opened the door to enter the throne room. Most of the gods were now meandering around, conversing and sharing merriment with the other gods and nymphs that had joined the celebration. I spotted Lucifer in a corner, looking awfully uncomfortable. It was almost amusing. Thorn stood beside Ambrosius, their hands clasped behind them together. I clenched my teeth, struggling to ignore that tiny fact. Cerberus was laughing with Dionysus and Hermes about something I couldn't care less about.

I made my way over to them and Lucifer perked up the moment he saw me, until a frown worked onto his face.

"You look pale. What happened?" He asked. Thorn stared at me and I stared back at him before narrowing my eyes.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I demanded. Thorn dropped his eyes and Ambrosius cut me a dirty look. I returned it with a smirk, then looked at Lucifer.

"He's allowed us to take ten gods. He won't go. Like I told everyone, but you know, nobody listens to me, so what-the-fuck-ever We need to choose ten gods to take with us into battle." I informed.

"Only ten," Ambrosius asked angrily, "That's not fair. This is a war."

"And he's the king of the gods," I informed coldly, folding my arms over my chest and glancing sideways to watch Zeus laugh as he took Hera into his arms and kissed her passionately, then turned my head away to frown at the floor, "He won't leave. He needs to reassure the rest of the pantheon that it's nothing to worry about. Doesn't matter. That's how it is and I have nothing else to give him."

"What did you give him?" Lucifer asked.

"Facial mask tips," I replied, making Lucifer roll his eyes, "Ten gods. We need to choose wisely. This is a battle against the Titans. There are over a hundred gods here."

"Who do you think we should take? After all, you're the one who's part of this pantheon, not me." Lucifer added grimly, scanning the room. I turned my head to scan the groups of gods scattered throughout the room, all laughing and chattering excitedly.

"Unfortunately," I muttered, "I hate every single one of these slimy bastards for a reason. We'll need to go through a list of who to take and why. We need people who will take this seriously and people who are bloodthirsty."

"So Ares?" Lucifer offered. I turned to look over where Ares was sitting on the end of a table, knocking back a beer and laughing at something Apollo was saying. He was young, muscular with dark hair that fell in short wavy locks around a ruggedly handsome face. Those were his good attributes. His bad? He was cocky and arrogant. And once the smell of blood was in the air, he went on a killing frenzy that was difficult to stop. He could accidentally kill one of the Titans and rupture the balance without even knowing it.

"No," I said after a moment, shaking my head, "He's like a shark. Once he smells blood, he goes on a rampage and he could kill the Titans and rupture the balance. Not to mention, choosing him is choosing his sons, Deimos and Phobos as well, which uses up two more of the ten spaces."

"Apollo?" Lucifer offered. I shuddered.

"Abso-fucking-lutely not. That bastard forced himself on my son. He can go to Hell," I snapped, then paused when Lucifer arched a brow at me and I shrugged, "Or not. Let's do Tartarus. He can go to Tartarus."

"But is he good in battle?" Lucifer asked. I clenched my teeth.

"You're already forcing me to fight alongside the rotten bastard who laid hands on Abel. Apollo is out of the question." I snapped.

"Hannibal regrets what he did," Ambrosius protested in irritation, making me glare at him as he let go of Thorn's hand and ignored Thorn's tugging at the back of his shirt to shut up, "Stop hating someone for a mistake they made. You've made plenty of mistakes."

"And people hate me for it," I sneered at him, "That's the way the world works. I won't accept what he did."

"Isn't it the same thing you did to Persephone?" Ambrosius challenged. I wanted to snap his neck for that, but why should I? It was the rumors people chose to believe, the rumors I'd tried so hard to keep away from all of my sons, but they succombed to them anyway. And instead of trusting me, they went with the rumors everyone insisted upon. Why should I beat him for something he couldn't help?

Because it's not fair.

Life wasn't fair. If it was, I wouldn't have been forced to spread my legs for my brother.

"Not Apollo," I said, turning back to Lucifer, ignoring Ambrosius's eyeroll and Thorn's attempts to calm Ambrosius down, "Artemis." Lucifer frowned.

"She'd fight without her brother?"

"She'd fight against her brother," I assured, "She hates him. She's intelligent, level-headed, and an excellent fighter. I've seen her battle before. Her and Athena are good to have in a fight. Both of them are good at strategy and last minute plans, which is what we're depending on right now." Lucifer nodded, considering that. I turned to scan the crowds, finding Artemis by herself near a table of drinks. She had silver tinsel braided into her auburn hair that fell down her back, deep blue eyes that watched everything intently, and didn't look half bad in a simple blue sweater and jeans.

"I'll talk to her," Lucifer said before I could say anything, "She's more likely to agree to help if I talk to her because you're naturally hostile." I rolled my eyes, but didn't argue with him as he drifted off to Artemis. I spotted Athena already speaking to Cerberus, and Ambrosius took his chance to drift over and convince her to join us. I scanned the rest of the crowd, searching for a god that didn't piss me off as much as the others, one that would be good in battle.

"Why did you do it?" I snapped my head to glare at Thorn, who stared at me.

"Ambrosius is too cute and fluffy for Athena to say no to." I replied, turning my head away again, but I saw Thorn shake his head out of the corner of my eye.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I'm afraid I have no friggin' idea what you're talking about. And you better watch yourself, devil spawn. My passion for you is like the passion a cobra has for mongoose blood, so shut your trap and start looking for gods to take with us." I commanded. Thorn frowned.

"I'm not forcing you to say anything about it. I just want to know why you did it. You don't seem to be the self-sacrificing type."

"According to the rest of the world, I'm a really horny slut."

"Rumors are foul," Thorn replied, making me glance at him as he frowned seriously at me, "I know you're not as bad as you think you are. During that first month I met Ambrosius, I had this... vision. I saw how much you love Ambrosius. You're not evil."

"And you're not smart. Shut the hell up and do your job, or else, my self-sacrifice would be for naught and I might actually have to kill you." I threatened dangerously. Thorn frowned for a while, staring at me before he reluctantly went to converse with other gods to see who would be good candidates. I watched the god mingle and gossip. I heard my name a couple times, making my skin crawl. I spotted Zeus near his throne, whispering in Hera's ear, making her laugh delightedly. Zeus's eyes flickered to look at me and a smirk stole across his lips. My stomach churned and I had the sudden urge to vomit.

I moved out of the throne room as quickly as possible, finding myself back out in the hallway. Thankfully, the guards were gone, so I just vomited on the floor, hunching over and breathing hard. I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth, closing my eyes.

Gods, my stomach hurt. My everything hurt. It was so hard to stay standing and pretend everything was business as usual. I wanted to soak in a hot bath and go to bed.

"You let him do it again." I jerked my head up and turned to see Demeter standing behind me. I frowned slowly at the sight of her. Tall and beautiful, curly black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, wearing a silky beige sparkly blouse and low ride jeans. Even I had to admit Demeter was a sight to behold. I straightened, keeping my hair back over my shoulder.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Is Persephone here?" I asked. Demeter frowned, approaching me.

"No. She's safe somewhere else. And don't play stupid with me, Hades. I was the one who found you the first time. How did he convince you this was okay?" She asked. I rolled my eyes, stepping away from the mess on the floor, rubbing at my sore lower back.

"He promised me cookies. As you can see, I have no cookies, so now I'm fucked."

"Hades, stop deflecting. I'm serious. You know as well as I do that you're just as strong as Zeus. You could have killed him."

"Anyone with a brain can kill Zeus, but there's this little problem with rupturing the whole universe, and considering I did all this to save it, that'd be really counter-productive."

"But you could have stopped him."

"Are you trying to make me feel like shit?"

"No," Demeter shook her head, "I just want to know why you let him do it. When you had the choice to say no."

"Saving the universe," I replied bitterly, "Saving people I hate, and people who hate me. I think he bashed me on the head one time too many for me to actually think that's a good enough reason to let him shove his cock in me."

"Hades." Demeter warned at my crudity. I just rolled my eyes and Demeter sighed, coming forward to touch my arm, but I snapped it back out of her reach and gave her a cold glare. Demeter dropped her hand, studying my face with ultimate pity. It made me sick.

"I don't want your pity," I sneered at her, "And I don't need a therapist talk to straighten me out. I'm not damaged."

"But you are."

"Thanks. I really needed to hear that. Listen, why don't you go hide in a corner while I actually do something about this whole threat to the realms thing?" I asked dryly, shoving past her and heading for the throne room. Demeter caught me by the wrist and yanked me back. I went to hit her, but she caught me by the wrist before I could do so. I glared at her, wrenching my hand away.

"I told you not to fucking touch me." I said dangerously. Demeter glared at me.

"I'm your sister. I won't hurt you, Hades."

"You already did." I went into the throne room to avoid another one of her futile attempts to get me to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to her, or anyone else for that matter. This was private and that's how it was going to stay. I didn't care what she said. I wasn't damaged. I knew what I was doing. The more I pretended it didn't happen, the better I felt. It was the constant bringing it up that drove me insane. Stop reminding me of the moment where I was backed into a corner, to a moment where I, a god, was vulnerable. I didn't need that being thrown in my face again.

Besides, now wasn't the time for my petty personal life. We had bigger problems than a little invasion of personal space. The realms were threatened by a powerful dark force. The Titans were back, and they were angry as hell. They wanted blood and they would do anything to get at it. And they would mow my children down in the process, which for all their irritating qualities, I would never stand for.

No one touched my children.

Over my rotting corpse.

"Artemis and Athena have agreed," Lucifer said, approaching me as I stood near the doors, "They've also recommended that we convince Hermes, Hecate, and Eros." I frowned at the options. They weren't perfect, but I could certainly tolerate them better than most of the other gods. Hermes was the messenger of the gods, of merchants and travelers. He was basically a good luck charm. Hecate was the goddess of witchcraft and necromancy. She's definitely be useful to us. And while Eros was a god of lust, he was actually quite the fighter.

"All right," I said with a nod, "Fine those three. With them and Artemis and Athena, that's five. We can choose five more. Leave those up to me. Go convince the other three. We're leaving as soon as we have ten." Lucifer nodded. I started to go past him, but my knee buckled suddenly and fell, cursing under my breath.

"Are you all right?" Lucifer asked, bewildered as he stooped to help me onto my feet. My skin crawled at his touch and I curled my lip at him, but before I had the chance to shove him away, Zeus was there with Hera and Poseidon, all of them smirking in amusement.

"That was quite graceful of you, Hades." Zeus commented, making me glare at him as I snatched my arm out of Lucifer's grasp. Hera raked me with a dirty look, arms folded over her chest.

"You just want people to look at you so desperately, don't you? It's almost pathetic." She sneered. Lucifer appeared confused by her hostility. I swear, Lucifer, for being intelligent and powerful, he was also naive. His belief in a family bond above all others was flawed. He may be stupid enough to believe his family would back him, but he had yet to see how vicious my family could be.

"You don't need to stumble to have people fuck you," Poseidon assured me, making me glare at him in irritation, "Just throw yourself in their laps." Hera laughed at that and Zeus chuckled. Lucifer frowned, folding his arms over his chest.

"He's your brother. Why do you speak to him like that?" He asked. Zeus laughed further and smacked his hand against my back, causing pain to explode up and down my spine and it took everything I had not to fall to my knees in pain.

"We're merely teasing him, Lucifer. Right, Hades? All in good fun."

"Sure," I muttered, moving away from them, "I'm going to go talk to someone who doesn't annoy me." Zeus just watched me go with a glint in his eyes that promised death for interrupting his fun. Like I gave two shits about interrupting his fun. Good. I hope he died of boredom. I scanned the crowds until I spotted a scantily clad woman near one of the tall white columns. Slender and tall with long black hair in a ponytail, bangs swept across her face over a pair of insidious green eyes. Intricate rose tattoos ran up and down her arms and crept up the right side of her neck. She wore a very revealing black vest with the collar popped up, and a low cut tank top beneath that and very short shorts with chains dangling from them.

"Nemesis." I stated. Her green eyes locked on me the moment I approached. It'd be a lie to say the goddess of revenge wasn't gorgeous, because she was. She was also, surprisingly, one of the ones who didn't piss me off. All the time anyway.

"Hades," She greeted, her accent heavy and her "d" pronounced with her tongue pressing against her front teeth so it was strong and pronounced, like her rolled "r"s, "I'm surprised to see you here consorting with the rest of these pea brains." I smirked.

"Unfortunately, not here by free choice." I replied. Her green eyes glowed.

"I know." She said. Because she knew of all betrayals, including my own, and she never spoke of it aloud, respecting me and my privacy,.

"Zeus is allowing me to hand pick ten gods to fight against the Titans and I want you to be one of them. I know how you get when you're angry." I replied. Nemesis's eyes glowed at the opportunity, a smirk curving the corner of her perfect lips.

"I will be killing two birds with one stone, Hades. I would be getting revenge for myself, and for you. I would be honored to fight beside you against the Titans. Besides, what else am I supposed to do? Visit another biker bar? Nah. I prefer your company." She answered. I nodded.

"I'd say thanks, but that'd be uncharacteristic of me."

"And you would frighten me."

"Good, so it's a silent thanks. We're leaving after we talk to the other gods. Can you think of anyone else who'd be interested in being a super hero?" I asked. Nemesis chuckled, then paused to scan the crowds, moving to stand beside me, tilting her head. Then a slow smile crept onto her face as she tilted her head to look up at me.

"I have a couple friends who aren't in attendence who would be more than happy to fight alongside us." She said coyly. That was a scary look on a woman of vengeance's face. I arched a brow at her.

"Can I know their names?" I asked. Nemesis shook her head, tossing her ponytail back over her shoulder, chuckling.

"I'm afraid not. It's too dangerous in such a crowded place."

"Are they Greek?"

"As Greek as they come, my sweet. Trust in me. These two goddesses... They are not to be trifled with."

"How do I know they'll agree?"

"Because they loathe the Titans as much as you or I," Nemesis promised, folding her arms over her chest and cocking her hip into me lightly, "Have faith in vengeance, Hades, for it is the one thing that you can count on." I was skeptical. It wasn't my trust for Nemesis that faltered, because she was right; Vengeance was a sweet fruit I'd wanted to sink my teeth into for millenia. It was the people she hung out with that made me question her choice of friends, but she seemed confident and in war, that was a good thing.

"All right," I said at last, "Bring them to Lucifer's palace in Hell. Tell the brats at the entrance that I am waiting for you so they let you pass." Nemesis nodded, then stood on her toes and placed a kiss on my cheek before steping back and wiggling her fingers in an adorable wave.

"Au revoir for now, my sweet." She vanished a moment later. I took a deep breath, trying to comfort myself knowing that Nemesis was on my side, always on my side. Not necessarily out of choice, but because my betrayal was like a Crispy Creme donut to her. We just both happened to be terrible people and were okay with each other's company.

"Who was that?" Ambrosius said suddenly beside me. I glared at him for sneaking up on me, then looked away.

"Nemesis. She's agreed to help us. And she's bringing in a couple friends of hers."

"She's hot." Ambrosius deadpanned. I scowled.

"Don't you have a boy toy?" I demanded. Ambrosius rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a prude. I can look, so long as I don't touch. Besides, she can't do what Thorn can."

"I don't want to know what Thorn can do. I'm blissfully ignorant and would like to remain so. Did Lucifer talk to Hermes, Hecate, and Eros?" I asked, turning to face him now. Ambrosius nodded, nudging with his head over to where Lucifer was conversing with Eros, laughing every so often, much to my surprise. How weird to see Lucifer relax around the lusty god.

"Yup, looks like we've got quite a round up. Got any other victims lined up?" Ambrosius asked. I frowned, turning my head to scan the groups of gods when Ambrosius made a weird noise and I scowled at him.

"What the hell was that?"

"Who the hell would fuck you?" Ambrosius asked bewildered. I had no idea what he was referring to until I realized he was staring at my throat. My hair had fallen back over my shoulder, revealing the dark hickeys on my throat. I wasn't sure what was more irritating. His comment or the fact that he actually saw them. I pulled my hair back over my shoulder, moving away from him.

"None of your goddamn business. Go get your boyfriend. We're leaving."

"No, seriously, who was it? Those weren't there before, were they? It wasn't Persephone. Xenon told me you two didn't have sex."

"Wow, nothing like having people talk about your sex life to the whole world. They should make a whole television channel dedicated to it," I scoffed, then shook my head, "Don't ask me stupid questions, Ambrosius. Just go find Thorn so we can get out of here." Ambrosius glared at me impatiently before he seemed to be fed up with me. He turned on his heel and left to find Thorn. I watched him go, reaching up to clasp a hand over my throat, my teeth clenching tight.

"He'll find out, you know." I snapped my head to the side to see Zeus standing there with a smug look on his face. I narrowed my eyes.

"You won't tell him."

"I want to see the look on his face when someone else tells him. When he finds out his father's actually just a whore."

"Yeah, that's hilarious coming from the guy who turns into animals to fuck innocent mortals wandering in empty fields." I replied flatly, turning to go, but Zeus had snuck his hand into my hair and yanked me back to his side, making me hiss through clenched teeth. He leaned in close to my ear.

"I liked it better when you were licking my cock. Keep your mouth shut, or I might just have to tell your little bitch about your hobbies." He sneered into my ear. He roughly let me go and moved away. I rubbed the back of my head where he'd almost wrenched my hair out of my scalp. I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, then turned to go find Lucifer and others to distract myself from today's events. I was still sore, still sick, and I wanted to go home and take a bath and have Niki give me a foot massage. Maybe even a back massage?

Then again, the last thing I wanted was for more people to touch me.

No, I'd just lay in bed until the battle was ready.

And when it was, I was going to take everything out on those goddamned Titans.