A/N: hope you enjoy if you did don't forget to leave a vote or comment, and I'll see you guys at the end.

About a day later I arrived at school, and because my eyes were all puffy the first thing Trystan asked was, "have you been crying?" But all I did was gave him a look, and his face softened. Then he asked, "why?"

"Everything." Was all I said.

"Everything?" He asked.

"Everything." I said again.

"Wh-" he started but cut himself off knowing it was a stupid question, "Jessie, please talk to me, I need you to talk to me." He said, cupping my cheek.

I sighed and looked down, "everything is just becoming too much for me, I can't cope Trystan. I just can't."

He looked at me, concerned and then realised something, "wait did something happen last night?" He asked.

"No nothing happened, but it almost did. I stopped myself from doing anything. I wasn't going to let him get to me, I wasn't going to give him the benefit of the doubt." I said. "I just had everything bottled up inside and I took it out on you and Sarah. I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry.

He cupped my cheek, "hey, you don't have to be sorry, I understand. I get that maybe you shouldn't have shouted at Sarah, I should have just told you how I felt, but even now, sometimes I just can't."

"I get it." He said, kissing my head, "coming on, let's go to lunch and we can talk about this. Together." I nodded and he wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked to the canteen together.

I decided to text Sarah, to apologise.

Hey Sarah,

I'm so sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have snapped like that, I snapped because I was bottling everything up and I couldn't take it anymore.

I sent it, and five minutes later there was no reply, though below the message it said:

Read: 13:01

I groaned, great now she's avoiding me, and it's all my fault I said to myself.

"What is it?" Trystan asked me, putting a hand on my back. I handed him my phone.  "Oh." Was all he said, "I can text her if you want."

"Don't bother," I said, shaking my head, "if she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk, it's no big deal, I'll just try and talk to her when I see her next."

He nodded, "okay, I won't say anything, just try to relax, okay? You need it."

I rested my head on his shoulder, "thank you," I whispered.

He smiled down at me, kissing my head, "don't worry about it."

And like that I felt like I belonged, like I still belonged. Yes Sarah wasn't talking to me, but I apologised what more could I do? She'd talk to me eventually she'd have to. She was my best friend. Best friends don't stay mad at each other for long, unless she wanted to no longer be friends and all I could do was either let her go or get her stay. The worse thing was that I'd have to choose which one to do, and to be honest even if I chose to beg her to stay chances were very slim, especially with what's happened since we met.

It was my fault, and I knew it. I didn't want to admit it, but I thought I knew I had lost her for good and there was no coming back.

That's what I thought at least, though I didn't know if it was true. But if it was true, I was scared I was going to lose to the bestest friend I had ever had.

When I saw her the next day in media talking to Rachael and Emi, she ignored me. I tried to talk to her but she just blanked me like I wasn't even in the room.

When I asked to go to the bathroom, to get some water, she rolled her eyes. The one person I thought understood me, rolled her eyes. Like I was being dramatic or something. I wasn't.

Emi, Rachael and I were in deep conversation about what we were doing in class and Sarah was off in her own little world.

I turned to her and put a hand on my shoulder, "Sarah, you okay?" I asked, but she shrugged my hand off and ignored me. "You know I didn't realise you of all people could be so shallow." I said, "I apologised, get over it. Please. I don't want to lose my best friend over snapping at you because I let everything bottle up inside me." I whispered. She rolled her eyes. Again. I just couldn't win.

"You think it's all about you, all the time, don't you?" She suddenly asked me. I swallowed, and that's when she turned on me, "well it's not, some of us have actual problems than blaming everything on 'bottling things up' like how you snapped at me. Okay so you bottled things up, so what? No one cares."

I sat there mouth open, shocked, before I was angry. So angry I actually wanted to slap her, she was acting like a bitch.

That was when class ended and as the class left that's when the truth came out.

I rolled my eyes, "you know I always thought you were an open book, and you were I just never thought of reading your story." I said, "I apologised just get over and stop acting like miss not it all and once you get over yourself, come find me and then maybe we could be friends again." I said, "but until then don't look at me, or contact me in anyway, I don't want anything to do with this person. This isn't the person who became my best friend, it's just a bitch wearing her face."

And with that I walked away, I had had enough. From then it was official. I had lost my best friend, maybe for good.

Maybe, just maybe losing her was for the best. Or maybe it was for the worse, but I didn't found out until later.

When I met Trystan at lunch he saw I wasn't happy and went to ask me what was wrong when I stopped him with my hand.

"Please don't. I don't wanna talk about it." He gave me an apologetic look and nodded, understanding.

"Sarah?" He just asked,

"Sarah." I confirmed, "she's changed, she was rude and mean to me, so I snapped. Again."

"We don't have to talk about it, you can just wait until you tell me." He said, I smiled at him and hugged him, my head resting on his chest.

"Thanks."

He shrugged, "no problem." He just said and he wrapped his arms around me tighter, comforting me.

**

Later on while getting into Trystan's car, we saw her and Katie. I stopped to look at them having a conversation, as soon as they saw me they stopped talking. That's when I knew they were talking about me.

You may not believe me that they were talking about me, but they were. Why you ask? Because not only did they stopped talking but they looked down at the floor before parting ways.

I shook my head before getting into the car, annoyed.

"I just saw Sarah and Katie." I muttered.

He just looked at me and he saw that I wasn't happy, "what happened?"

"Nothing, all I did was look at them talking and when they saw me they stopped, looked down and then parted ways. That's suspicious if you ask me."

"Forget about it, if they were talking about you, they clearly don't deserve to be your friends. They don't deserve your friendship." He put his hand on mine and lifted up to kiss it. "You deserve better friends than them, believe me, I've been there, remember?"

"Right." I nodded, "let's just go home, I need to concentrate on getting through these exams." I said, "otherwise I'm totally and utterly screwed."

He chuckled before driving us to my house.

Mid way to my house, Trystan decided to make conversation.

"So when is your driving test."

"Next week, Friday afternoon, I think. At least I finally passed my theory, after failing it the first time." I muttered.

"Well at least you'll be able to drive your car and I won't have to drive you." He joked.

"Am I that bad to drive with?" I asked, faking a shocked face.

He nudged me, "of course not, I was only joking. Love you." He said, before he leaned over to kiss my head.

He winked at me, "anytime." I rolled my eyes.

"You remind me of Jace Wayland way too much, and your attitude isn't helping the situation, so please stop acting all cocky and start being my soft cute boyfriend, who also reminds me of Jace Wayland when he's with Clary." I shook my head, "I swear my OTPs will be the death of me." I muttered to my self, Trystan just chuckled and shook his head.

"And this is why I love you. You're so cute and strange at the same time, I know Augustus Waters, but Jace Wayland?" He asked, "is he that guy from that other TV show?"

I rolled my eyes, "yes, but they were books before and there was also a movie. Technically he's not Jace Wayland but for the purposes of the face you haven't read tmi, I'm saying Jace Wayland it makes it much simpler and clary, clary fray because that is her name in the first place." I said, "sorry I'm rambling."

"And we're here." He said nodding at my house I turned round and sighed, "I'll talk to you later?" I asked, he nodded and I leaned over to kiss him.

"Love you," I whispered.

"Love you too," he replied before winking at me as I got out of the car and walked up and went into my house, as he followed me inside, and stayed for a bit.

I giggled, "at least I know I'm not that bad, nice save babe." I replied.

He chuckled, "eh, that is very debatable actually." He said, shrugging.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue at him, "you're horrible, you know that?"

"No I'm not." He said, "I'm nice, you know that."

"Mmhm, sure, that's debatable," I said, echoing his words. "I'll see you later, now go." I said, turning him around and pushing him out of the door. "Goodbye." I sang.

He smirked and pecked me on the lips, "goodbye. I'll see you later." He replied before winking at me and leaving to get into his car and drive home.

I sighed as I closed the door behind me before walking up to my bedroom, to do my homework.

And suddenly half way through doing my homework, I got a text.

It was someone I really didn't want to hear from. Sarah.

Hey, I'm so sorry about before, and when you saw me talking to Katie, I swear it wasn't about you, please forgive me. You're my best friend, I can't lose you.

I replied straight away:

You already lost me, when you didn't

forgive me before.

And that's all I said, if she replied I didn't answer, I didn't want to, she lost me when she stopped talking to me for making a stupid mistake, for shouting at her. She had her chance and she blew it.

And within seconds once again I realised I had lost my best friend and I had turned her down when she asked for forgiveness.

Things were just going to get worse from there.

And it had all started from the moment I stopped being friends with Sarah, and I was doomed, more than anything that has ever happened before.

I decided to call Trystan after finishing my work,

"Hey," I mumbled.

"What's up Jess?"

"Just wanted to talk, Sarah texted me, trying to apologise she said that they weren't talking about me."

"Just relax, okay? Talk to me."

And so I told him everything I said to Sarah within in the text.

A/N: hope you enjoyed if you did leave a vote or comment and I'll see you in the next chapter!