⌜ chapter sixteen ⌟

"Forty-five— Dad, that's barely even worth it!" Cory's yelling when Eric and Letty walk into the house through the backdoor.

"Fine. Give me the keys." Mr. Matthews holds his hand out toward his younger son.

"Fine, take 'em." He drops the keys into his palm, and Letty leans against the counter by the sink as Eric walks past her.

"Aw, what's the matter, birthday brother?" The older boy asks tauntingly after taking a toothpick out of his mouth. "Something got you terribly, terribly sad?" He leans down to look at Cory, who sat at the table after taking off his jacket.

"Eric, when you were sixteen—"

"Yeah, I still had the same great hair." He stands up straight and walks over to the fridge, still fidgeting with the toothpick he places back between his teeth.

"Listen, did Dad still treat you like you were six?" Cory asks as he follows him, and Letty walks over to stand by the table.

"No." The older boy closes the door and turns to face him. "I mean, he weirded out a little bit on me because, you know, I got my license and made him feel old, and he went out and bought a cemetery plot and everything, but I bet you it's not nearly as bad as he's treating you."

"'Cause he likes you better."

"Yup, he does, he does." He walks over to Letty, setting the soda he got on the counter, and she takes the toothpick that he keeps putting in his mouth and taking back out as he talks. "Hey." He pouts.

"It's annoying, and gross." She says as she throws it in the trash can. "Now, stop being an ass to your brother."

Eric sighs as he looks back at Cory. "He still had you around when I got my license." He tells him, meaning that that's why their dad wasn't as hard on Eric as he's being on Cory.

"Well, he's got Morgan." The younger boy argues.

"Girl."

"What?"

"You're his last son, son." Eric rests his hand on Cory's shoulder. "Now you're old enough to drive away and leave him alone with Morgan, who goes to..."

"Art class." He says, and then Letty points to the little blonde who just walked into the kitchen wearing a pink leotard and tutu.

"And..." The older boy turns to Letty and smiles as he places his hands on her hips and makes her walk backward toward the island counter with him.

"Ballet."

"Yeah." He nods.

"Eric, I'm gonna trip over something." Letty tells him, speaking quietly as she holds onto his jacket while trying to watch behind her, so Eric stops walking.

"See, the only reason you're not cruising down that turnpike right now with your arm around Topanga, and Shawn in the back going whoo, whoo, whoo is because Morgan's his first daughter and not his third son, son." Eric explains as he rests his hand on the small of Letty's back and pulls her into his side.

Cory turns then and looks at the little blonde who just got a juice box out of the fridge, and she looks over at her older brother. "What?" Morgan questions.

"That's all the brotherly advice I got in me for one day." The oldest says and then he drags Letty up the stairs with him.

"Are they back together?" The little blonde asks as she looks in the direction that Eric and Letty just disappeared.

"Who knows?" Cory shrugs.

"Are you coming to the birthday dinner at Chubbie's tonight?" Eric asks as he walks into his bedroom with the brunette right behind him.

"I can't. I have my mandatory dinner with Alec tonight." She tells him, sitting at his desk.

"Mandatory?" His eyebrows furrow as he sits on his bed, looking over at her as he picks up his foam football.

"Reggie thinks he's our shrink." She says as he tosses the ball to her.  "He says that we have to spend time together and talk about our shit. We can't move past it if we don't deal with it."

"Seems to be working so far."

"Don't you dare tell Reggie he's right." The brunette says as they continue throwing the ball back and forth, and he chuckles. "No, he does help. He's just a major pain in the neck."

"They all really seem like they care." He says, and she nods. "Can I ask you something? But I don't want you to get mad."

Her eyebrows furrow as she looks at him. "What could you possibly ask me that I'd get mad at?"

"I just..." Eric sighs as he sets the foam ball beside him. "Nothing's ever happened between you and either of them, has there? Reggie or Tyler?"

"Ew. No." Letty shakes her head. "Why would you even think that?"

"You talk about Reggie a lot, and he seems kinda...touchy feely."

"Reggie's an overgrown child. He likes to say that we didn't get enough love growing up, so he hugs us." She explains. "He does it to Alec too, just not as often. And not usually in public. Alec hits harder than I do, and then they start fighting. Can't exactly have a fist fight in the middle of the restaurant."

"And... Well, what about Tyler?"

"No, never." Her eyebrows furrow as she looks at him. "Is there something specific that makes you think there has been something that's happened?"

"I saw you guys at Chubbie's the day he tricked that jackass into punching the wall." Eric tells her, and she tries to think back to what would cause this line of questions. "It looked like you were holding his hand, and then you were holding onto his arm. He defended you against that jerk, and then you were holding his shirt as you left. It just seemed...like you're pretty close."

"Well, we are close." She says. "But it's nothing like that. I still have some days where...I don't feel like I'm doing as good as I know I am. That guy was giving me and Shawn a lot of shit at school because Mr. Hunter was the janitor, and he was calling me trailer trash. I guess it still bothers me more than I'd like to admit, and... I don't know, it was pulling me down again. I guess the physical contact kinda helps, like it did when Alec pulled me out of that panic attack. Having them help me like that makes me feel better — like a physical support. It keeps me grounded."

"Now I feel like an even bigger idiot." He shakes his head as he looks down.

"Why?"

"It's nothing. It's stupid."

"No, it's not. Eric, it's not stupid if it's how you feel." She tells him. "I wanna be able to talk to you about anything. How else are we supposed to do any better?"

"I think seeing you two together that day is part of the reason I signed up for Singled Out." He admits, feeling like an idiot as he says it out loud. "I felt like I was losing you...so I did what I always did whenever I saw you with Miller or Jason. I went out with a random girl."

"Miller and Jason?" Her eyebrows furrow as she looks at him.

"Miller used to flirt with you all the time, and he lived with you. And Jason would put his arm around you, or you'd grab his hand." He refuses to look at her. "You can't really blame me for thinking that something could've been going between you and one of them. They're not blind or stupid, and you're beautiful and amazing."

"First off, thank you." She says, and he smiles. "But they've both always been like brothers to me. And Miller only flirted with me because he thought that you liked me. He was trying to make you jealous. I told him that he was an idiot, but he thought that it'd make you ask me out... That, and he liked pissing you off."

"That last part I already knew."

Letty gets to her feet and starts over toward him. "Eric, you're the only one that I want to be with." The brunette says as she climbs onto his bed, straddling his lap. He looks up at her as her knees settle on either side of him. "Miller and Jason stepped into the role of big brother because they both knew how much losing Alec was killing me. And Reggie and Tyler are the big brothers I didn't ask for and am now stuck with... And I only went out with Danny because you told me to."

"Rub my stupidity in my face." He sighs, and she smiles as she rests his hand on the side of his face. "I miss being close to you like this." He wraps his arms around her waist.

"Me too." She takes a deep breath as she leans forward and rests her forehead against his for a moment, then she pulls back and looks at him. "I'm putting myself through all of this so that I can be okay for me...but ending up with you is still one of my goals."

"I know." He offers her a small smile, and her thumb brushes over his bottom lip.

—

"Hey, Reggie." Letty smiles sarcastically as she looks up at him, holding up her middle finger.

"Hey." The older boy reaches out and grabs her hand. "I'll break it."

Alec claps his hand on his best friend's shoulder as he walks up behind him. "What's going on over here?" He questions as Reggie starts to lean.

"That hurts!" He lets go of Letty and squirms to get away from her brother. "You used to take my side, dick."

"I'm on her side." He shoves him toward the bar, and Letty smirks as she shakes her head at them.

"Never a dull moment, huh?" She muses as he sits back in his seat across from her.

"Ignore him. He's a putz." Alec says as he picks up a fry. "Where were we in the sibling bonding portion of the evening?"

"My supposed delusions according to Dumb and Dumber."

"And which was which again?"

"Jason and Miller."

"Uh-huh." He nods. "Why do you say supposed delusions?"

"Miller thought I held onto some kind of hope that Dad would change, be who he was to us before Mom bolted." She says, and he nods. "But that was never the case. I knew who Dad was, and I knew that he was entirely incapable of change. He became his own brand of monster."

"If not hope, then what?" Alec asks as he looks at her. "How did you survive it?"

The brunette pauses a moment before taking off the necklace she's wearing and handing it to him. "Jay sent me this a few years ago. He sent other gifts too, but mostly it was letters." She says as he looks at the rose charm in his hand. "He told me about his life, how he was doing. He promised that he'd come back for me some day, help me with whatever I needed."

"I remember him. You two were inseparable when you were little." He says as he hands the necklace back to her.

"It was the promise that a better life was out there." She fastens the clasp behind her neck. "It became less of a pipe dream after I got closer to Eric. It felt more obtainable, felt more like something that I could accomplish. It wasn't hope that kept me going, it was my friends...who became my family."

"Jason and Miller knew him too; they know Eric." Alec says, eyebrows furrowed. "Why did they think it was anything else that helped you through it all?"

"There were moments...where Dad was different. Money would be tight, and he'd have no choice but to sober up a bit." A sad smile tugs at her lips as she looks down. "He'd remember a small detail about me, something I didn't even know he knew. He'd bring home one of my favorite dinners and he'd call me pumpkin. For a moment, I was little and he was Dad, and things were okay... Miller thought I clung to those moments as a sign that he could change, but I knew what they were. It was a glimpse at the father I loved a long time ago, a man who was never coming back. But for a moment...I had my daddy again."

"How often did it happen?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"It got fewer and farther between as I got older. I got a real job, a steady paycheck, then two...and he had his beer money." She takes a deep breath as she looks up at him again. "And then I had Miller. He moved in and it was like he threw me a lifeline. I wasn't alone anymore. Of course, that meant he had to endure Dad's abuse. And I hated myself for it. Hell, I still hate myself for it. It's no wonder he vanished and doesn't so much as call or even send a letter."

"Miller made his own decision, Scar. Whatever happened while he lived with you and Dad — that's not on you." He tells her. "If you need someone to blame, blame me. You two were only in that position because I left."

"I'm tired of blaming you, Alec. Besides, if anyone's to blame, it's Dad." Letty says. "But I'm tired of being angry. All it's done is drag me down, and I'm trying to get rid of some of this weight."

"We have." He nods. "I mean, life doesn't feel as heavy on your shoulders anymore, does it?" He asks, and she shakes her head.