Birds chirped outside Molly's window, soaking up the late afternoon sun. She watched them, contemplating going downstairs or not. Her conversation with Andrew had rolled around in her mind for the entire day and she wasn't sure where to go from there. She had power over him, whatever that meant. She didn't ask him to lust after her for five years. She was pretty clear that she could only give him certain things, and he'd accepted them on his own.

He said he cares too much, she thought. There's no way he let me come here just because he thought I could use a jaunt to the countryside. I can get that in fucking Sonoma. And he knows it. He knows I came back to see him for a reason. Doesn't he?

She'd been trying to get a read on him ever since she'd arrived three days beforehand and she kept getting mixed signals. One second, he was smiling and flirting with her as he's cooking dinner and the next he's going on a date with another woman to force distance between the two of them. He was maddening.

He did say that date meant nothing, she reminded herself. But the whole point is that he was actively letting another woman put her grubby paws all over him. WITH YOU BACK AT HIS DAMN HOUSE, she added.

"What the fuck do you want, Andrew?" she whispered, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I can come back," Andrew's voice made her jump.

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed. "You could fucking knock, you know!" She took several deep breaths, placing her hand over her pounding heart in an effort to slow it down.

He stood in the doorway holding a flat box in one hand. "Your door was open. I thought it was an invitation," he said simply, not even trying to stifle his laughter. He sat on her bed and held the box out to her.

"What's this?" she asked, unfolding herself from the armchair in the corner and walking over.

"Your Christmas present," he said.

"Andrew, I haven't even had a chance to get you anything yet!" she said in annoyance. "Plus its like two weeks to Christmas. You're early."

"You don't have to get me anything, Mol," he told her. "Just getting to spend more time with you is enough of a gift." She glared at him. "Alright, if you have to get me something, make a donation or something like that in my name. Or a book. Something practical."

"I'm not sure where you'd put a book at this point, Andrew," she said, taking the box from him. "You're full to bursting here."

"Look, do you want your gift or not?" he asked in mock annoyance.

"Yes, but why can't it just wait?" she asked, fingering the rough twine tie.

"Because I wanted to give it to you in private, not in front of my family," he told her. "Open it."

She sat next to him and pulled the string from the crisp white box. Underneath the lid there were several sheets of paper with Andrew's scrawling writing on them. She could see where they'd been carefully torn from a notebook or journal. Words were crossed out and rewritten. Notes were scribbled in the margins. The title had been scratched over several times before a final one had been chosen: Shrike. She looked up at him as she flipped through the worn pages.

"What is this?" she asked.

"The original lyrics to Shrike," he said softly.

Molly began to protest. "Andrew, I can't take this!" she said, holding them out for him. "These are priceless. They're yours. Why would you give this to me?"

"Because its your song. You inspired it. You gave me the melody for it. Its half yours," he said simply. "I don't know when I'll get to see you in person again. And if anything were to happen to me, I'd want you to have them. So I figured I'd give them to you now and save the time."

"Why though? Isn't this something you want to keep?" she asked uncertainly. "I mean this is priceless. Its your thought process."

"Yes I know," he intoned. "That's why I'm giving it to you. You're the only person I'd want to have something like this. I've played the song so much, I can do it in my sleep. I don't need these anymore. But I thought...I guess I thought you might enjoy having them."

"I - I do. Its a very thoughtful gift," she stammered, still in shock at his extreme generosity. She couldn't help but wonder if this was another attempt at distancing himself from her.

Why would he give you the original lyrics to distance himself? This is something you give as a sentimental gift, she reasoned.

"Good. Don't let me find it on EBAY," he quipped with a wink.

"No," she said quietly, putting the pieces of paper back in the box and sliding the lid on gently. "No, I will cherish these. This is...this is the best gift I've gotten in a long time, Andrew. Thank you," she said.

He leaned over and wrapped his arms around her and she inhaled his musty, earthy smell, closing her eyes and allowing herself to drift back to the first few weeks of their relationship in the summer five years beforehand. Everything had been so simple then. He pulled away a few seconds later.

"My friend Alex is actually coming over in fifteen minutes or so to do an Instagram Live for charity," Andrew said. "I've signed up to do a quick performance."

"Can I watch?" Molly asked, seizing the opportunity.

"I - I don't think that would be a good idea," he replied hesitantly.

"Come on, please?" she asked, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout. "I haven't seen you perform since your last date in L.A. I'll be quiet, I promise," she added. "You won't even know I'm there."

He inhaled slowly. "Fine. But Molly, I'm serious. You have to be completely quiet. If anyone watching gets even a whiff of you here, my fans will probably lose their shit," he warned. "You can't even move."

"Alright! I promise!" she insisted. "I'll be silent as the grave."

He sighed and stood up. "I've got to go warm up and figure out what we're playing."

She nodded. "Andrew," she said, making him turn back. "Thank you. This really does mean a lot to me."

He smiled and ducked his head. "You're welcome."

Molly watched him go, her curiosity renewed. She put the box aside, planning to look at its contents closer later. The sounds of Andrew moving around downstairs drifted up to her and she decided to go see what was happening.

She wasn't sure what to make of him not wanting his fans to know she was there. Part of her wondered if he was just trying to keep his private life private and the other part wondered if he was actually not wanting anyone to think she was his girlfriend. Either option was possible.

He's a private person, she reasoned. Its probably that he's just trying to keep you out of the spotlight. Lord knows you already have one stalker. You don't need more.

A knock came at the kitchen door and Elwood ran toward it. Andrew rushed to answer. She could hear a male voice join his as the visitor entered the house. Molly assumed this was Alex and headed downstairs.

"I didn't realize you had a friend here," Alex said, noting Molly as she came down the spiral stairs.

"Hi," she said, introducing herself. "Molly."

Alex blinked and then it dawned on him. "Wait - this is Molly? The Molly?" he asked, looking at Andrew. "Shrike Molly?"

Andrew looked over at her and nodded. "She was in L.A. That's how we reconnected."

"Shit. Hang on - you went camping with us once, didn't you? A few summers ago?" Alex asked, squinting to try to confirm the memory.

"Yeah," Molly chuckled, remembering that weekend. "That was fun."

Alex looked between them, trying to define the dynamic. "So now you're..." he asked.

"Just friends," Andrew said. "She needed a break from work. I have an empty house. Here we are."

Molly felt a knife dig into her heart. The sentimentality of the previous moment had gone. So he told his parents we'd gotten back together and then split up, but not his friends. She looked at him, but he ignored her gaze, focusing instead on Alex.

"So I was thinking we could start with a few Christmas songs - Winter Wonderland, Silent Night, that type of stuff," Andrew said, leading Alex into the front room, leaving Molly to follow behind them. "I've been feeling some old stuff - like Real People and Eden. Maybe we could also take a request or two."

Alex looked at Molly as she stood in the doorway to the front room. "Is she staying?" he asked Andrew. "No offense," he added quickly.

"Yeah, she's fine," Andrew replied, setting his laptop on an end table. "You want to run through a few things really quick?" he asked.

Molly watched as Alex warmed up his fingers on the keys of the upright piano, running a few scales as he hummed. Andrew picked up his trusty Takamine and set to tuning it by ear. When he was satisfied, he started running through vocal warm ups with Alex. The two men seemed to read each other's minds because they moved in unison.

"When are we live?" Alex asked. "I need a piss."

"Go," Andrew said, fingering a melody on his guitar.

Molly sat in an armchair next to the door. The laptop was squarely in front of her and she could see the back of the screen, so she knew she wasn't visible. He looked at her over the top of the laptop and then back at his guitar. Before she could say anything, Alex was back, seating himself at the piano.

"Scoot a little closer to me. You're not in frame," Andrew said, looking at the screen. He checked his watch. "Alright. Let's go."

She watched as he initiated the stream and sat back. He was in full "work mode" and it was interesting to see him in it.

"Are we live?" he asked, looking at the screen. "We're live. But I'm fully expecting the wifi to shit the bed at any moment. It always does whenever I actually flippin' need it."

She bit her lip to stop from laughing.

"Alright!" Andrew sighed. "How's everyone doing? I hope you're all well. I'm here with Alex Ryan and we're doing this Live in support of ISPCC Childline this holiday season." He picked up his guitar and sat it in his lap. "We've got a few Christmas classics ready for you and then we'll play a couple songs from the albums. I'll also take some requests if we've got time."

"Living dangerously today, Andy," Alex quipped from the piano, making the other man laugh.

Andrew leaned forward to see the screen. "What am I doing for Christmas? Ehm, I've not got a whole lot going on. Christmas dinner with the family, a few parties with friends, a friend of mine from America is visiting right now," he listed. "Its pretty low key here."

Molly felt a little wave of pride as he mentioned her. He looked over the laptop and met her eyes for the briefest of moments.

"As this is the season of giving, I want to urge all of you watching, if you're able, please donate to ISPCC Childline," he continued. "Any help you can give would be lovely." He strummed the guitar softly, adjusting the tuning again. "Let's get into the holiday spirit with some Christmas tunes."

He started strumming Silent Night and Alex picked up on the piano. Molly watched, enjoying how Andrew's voice rose and fell with the song. Alex harmonized well and Molly was impressed at how easily they worked together with so little preparation. When the song ended, Andrew looked at the questions again.

"When am I doing another poetry reading?" he read. "You know, I'm a bit busy at the moment, so the poetry readings might be on pause. They tend to require a lot of preparation and I just don't really have the time to put into that right now. I'd feel really bad if I couldn't do you guys justice with a good reading."

He read again. "I'm keeping busy while on this little break. Lots of hikes, time with friends and family. Just trying to recharge before I head back out again." He glanced at Molly again, shifting his guitar around. "Let's do Winter Wonderland," he told Alex.

"Righto," Alex replied, stretching his fingers and poising them over the keys.

"...And-a-one-and-a-two," Andrew counted off.

Alex launched into a cheerful, bouncy melody and Andrew picked up with his guitar. Molly couldn't resist tapping her toes along with them. She watched Andrew smile as he played and could see the pure joy he felt at doing what he loved. Alex finished the song with a flourish and Andrew tucked his hair behind his ears.

"Like I said guys, this Live is to benefit ISPCC Childline," Andrew said, picking up his tea mug. "They are a fantastic organization that helps children in crisis and they are doing truly important work. Especially at this time if year, kids aren't in school and that means they might be in the home in dangerous situations. So its really important that ISPCC has enough resources to support those kids in those dangerous situations." He took a sip and looked at Molly again.

"We've got time for a few questions and songs," he continued. "Hey, this one's for you, Alex: what is Andy's strangest quirk on tour," he asked laughing.

"I suppose I should keep it G-rated, right?" Alex joked. Andrew smiled and brought his mug to his lips for a drink. "I'd say his strangest quirk on tour is that he has to always drink exactly two and a half cups of tea before a show. No more, no less. Its weird."

Molly bit back a laugh, covering her mouth with her palm. Andrew looked over and smiled over his tea, as if he'd forgotten that she wasn't supposed to be "there".

"Alright, I've been feeling some older material from the first album lately," Andrew said, setting his mug down. "I think we should give Like Real People Do some love for a change. Its been awhile." He started on his guitar and winced when he hit the wrong note. Alex laughed from behind him. "Whoops!" Andrew said laughing. "Its been too long apparently." He eased into the song, a light and breathy melody. And Alex joined him, harmonizing quietly in the back.

I had a thought, dear, however scary
About that night, the bugs and the dirt
Why were you digging? What did you bury
Before those hands pulled me from the earth?

He dropped his voice by a few notes as he looked at his fingers strumming the strings.

I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask and neither should you
Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

He looked up at her, meeting her eyes and she felt her heart race. Alex joined him on the piano with a simple harmony. Andrew closed his eyes as he focused on the song, opening them again to look at his guitar.

I knew that look dear: eyes always seeking
Was there in someone who dug long ago
So I will not ask you why you were creeping
In some sad way, I already know

Molly listened to Andrew's voice, soft and comforting, considering the lyrics of the song. On the surface, he was singing about someone or something being uncovered, revealed to the world after being buried for some time.

I would not ask you where you came from
I would not ask and neither would you
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

The lightness of the song contrasted with the heaviness of the lyrics as the music rose and fell in an ethereal tone. Someone was being brought back to life by love. She got chills as the song continued, with Andrew repeating the chorus again and the haunting melodies falling away to his guitar. He opened his eyes and looked at the screen as if he was coming out of a dream.

"Its been a while since we played that one, hasn't it?" he asked Alex. "Maybe for this new leg of the tour, we'll pull out the oldies."

"Oldies but goodies," Alex quipped, flexing his fingers.

Andrew sighed and picked up his tea mug. "Alright, we've just got time for one last song, so I'm gonna let you guys choose," he told the camera. "I'll give you two minutes to send the requests in. Whichever one I see the most wins." He grinned and looked over his shoulder at Alex.

"I'd really love to thank my manager Caroline Downey for all she does for ISPCC and turning me on to the cause several years ago," he said. "Its always a cause I support in any way I can because they do such great work." He looked at the screen again. "Am I excited for the next tour leg? Of course I am. I had an excellent time in North America earlier this year. It was a great way to spend the spring and summer. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone in Europe starting in January. And then Australia in May. It'll be great to see everyone again."

He inhaled sharply and stretched his neck, rolling his head on his shoulders. Alex cracked his neck and played a light tune on the keys.

"I'm seeing a lot of requests for Shrike," Andrew said after a minute. "So I suppose that's what we'll end with today."

Molly felt her heart tighten as Andrew sniffed and picked up his guitar again. He avoided looking at her, tuning the instrument again. She knew he wouldn't have chosen the song purposefully because of what it meant. But since his fans had publicly requested it, he couldn't very well ignore it and play something else. She bit her lip as he ran his fingers over the strings. He looked over his shoulder at Alex, who nodded, fingers poised over the keys.

Her heart clenched as Andrew's fingers began the first few notes of the melody on the strings. She felt the knife turn in her chest as he began to sing.

I couldn't utter my love when it counted
Ah, but I'm singin' like a bird 'bout it now
I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted
Ah, but I'm singin' like a bird 'bout it now

His voice cut into her and she felt her throat tighten as he strummed gently, picking the notes out.

The words hung above
But never would form
Like a cry at the final
Breath that is drawn

Her nose started to burn as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. She blinked rapidly, looking at the floor and trying to focus on anything other than the song.

Remember me, love
When I'm reborn
As the shrike to your sharp
And glorious thorn

Molly couldn't take it anymore. As quietly as she could, she stood and slipped from the room. She made it to the kitchen and wrenched open the large sliding door to the courtyard. The cold air hit her, shocking her system as tears fell down her face. She sniffled heavily and wiped her nose, trying to control her sobs.

She didn't expect to have such a visceral reaction. When Andrew first told her that Shrike was about her, that it was his love song to her, she'd thought it was cute - like a high school boy that writes a song to ask out a girl. But as their relationship progressed, she found herself enjoying the fact that he'd written it for her, as if it was an honor to have left such a mark on Andrew's life that warranted something as permanent as a song in his discography.

Now she only felt pain. Pain for not being good enough and giving him what he deserved. Pain for how she'd disappeared from his life. Pain for how she'd ended things so suddenly in both situations. Pain that she'd screwed things up between the two of them.

Andrew's words repeated in her mind: he needed to know that he could survive her. As though she was some sort of cosmic force that could cause catastrophic damage. Was she really that dangerous to him? Was loving her really that hard for him? And why couldn't she love him back? What was so wrong with her that she couldn't love him the same way he loved her?

Do you want to love him, though? she asked herself.

The idea of anyone else being with Andrew set her teeth on edge. But it was more than blind possessiveness that fueled her; it felt right for the two of them to be together.

He knows your thoughts before you speak and always puts you above himself, she thought. Even though he knew it would hurt to have you come, he invited you to stay with him. Even though you broke his heart, he still cares about you - loves you, even.

Molly wiped her eyes one more time and walked back inside, closing the door after her. She could hear Andrew and Alex chatting in the front room and even though she knew it was rude to eavesdrop, she couldn't help herself.

"...I don't understand why she's here if you guys aren't together anymore?" Alex asked.

"It's complicated. I invited her to stay with me because I wanted to make sure she was okay," Andrew said. "When we broke up, she was going through some...shite. She needed space. It wasn't what I wanted, but I know that's what she needed."

"So what...she's here now because you want to see if she's all better or something?" Alex suggested. "Taking a second chance?"

"Third, actually," Andrew scoffed.

"So you do want to get back together with her?" Alex needled.

Andrew was silent for a second. "Maybe. I - I don't know. I don't know how it would work. Our lives are literally in two different places right now."

She could hear their footsteps approaching and she ducked behind the refrigerator door.

"Hey, you sounded great," she said, hoping she looked casual. "Sorry I ducked out."

Andrew looked at her curiously and she wiped her eyes again self-consciously.

"Thanks," Alex said, sliding onto a bar stool.

"Alex is staying for dinner. We're ordering in - fish and chips from up the road," Andrew said. "Want anything?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll have whatever you recommend," Molly replied, distracted by his revelation a moment prior.

"Shit, I've left my wallet in the car," Andrew said, patting his pants pockets.

"I'll get it," she said, eager to put a bit of distance between herself and him so she could breathe again.

She rushed across the room and took his keys off the hook and slipped on a pair of shoes before hurrying out the door. Andrew's Nissan was joined by a white Volkswagen sedan on the gravel drive. She clicked the locks open and got into the driver's seat, opening the center console. Andrew's worn leather wallet sat at the bottom of it.

Molly sat in the silence for several seconds, breathing deeply. Maybe. So he wasn't completely against it after all. She just needed to figure out if she was against it.

Out of curiosity, she opened his wallet. A couple credit cards were in the slots. His drivers license was in another. She looked in the cash pocket and found several bills alongside a folded piece of paper and faded family photos. She recognized a child-version of Andrew standing next to a slightly-older Jon, and his younger parents. The corners were folded and it had definitely seen some miles.

The piece of paper was no better. She unfolded it and  gasped, clapping her hand over her mouth. Her handwriting was etched across the faded white page.

Its better this way. Thanks for everything Magellan x.

He'd kept it. He didn't just keep it; he'd kept it in his wallet right next to his family photos. No matter where he'd been, a piece of her was with him. She felt tears spring to her eyes for a different reason.

You have to do whatever it takes. No matter what, she thought.

She sniffled and put the piece of paper and photos back in the wallet before heading back inside.

***

The next evening, Molly was restless. After Alex left following dinner, Andrew had retreated into the studio and asked her not to bother him. She'd reluctantly obliged, though her mind was screaming at her to talk to him about the note in his wallet.

She spent the entire night trying to figure out how to breach the topic with him and by morning, she was no further along than before. He'd gone into Bray for groceries after breakfast and had stopped by his parents' house along the way. By the time he returned, it was lunch time.

"I got those rolls you said you liked," he told her as they unloaded the bags. "And these," he added, handing her a packet of milk chocolate Digestives.

"You remembered!" Molly exclaimed, taking the package from him happily.

"Yes," he smiled.

She opened the packet eagerly and took a biscuit out, biting into it. The chocolate coating was sweet and offset the slightly dry graham flour biscuit. She offered Andrew a bite and he took it, looking at her as he bit down.

"I don't know how you like those," he said, crunching. "They're really sweet."

A lightbulb went off in her head as inspiration struck.

"So I was thinking I'd finally try the pool this afternoon," she said, leaning her elbows on the counter. "Want to join me?"

He did a double take as he put a box of cereal on a high shelf. "I - uh - sure," he stammered. "I didn't think you brought a suit."

"I didn't. But it doesn't matter, does it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Its just you and me, right?"

"Y-yeah," he said.

"Cool. So after lunch?" she asked, finishing her biscuit. She made a show of sucking the melted chocolate off her finger tips.

"Ehm, yeah," he cleared his throat, watching her.

After lunch, Molly waited as while Andrew dug out his swim trunks and changed. He appeared with a stack of thick, plush bath towels wearing a bathrobe. Blue swim trunks peeked out from under the hem.

"Ready?" she asked, walking toward the siding door that led to the courtyard.

Gravel crunched under their feet as they walked over to the lanai structure. Steam had clouded up the windows and when Andrew opened the door for her, she felt like she walked into a sauna. She looked over at him and burst into laughter when she saw that his glasses had fogged up. Her laugh bounced off the high glass ceiling and joined the mechanical whirring of the pool pump.

"Here," she said, taking them from his nose and setting them on one of the teak end tables.

"Thank you," he said, putting the stack of towels next to them.

He kicked off his house slippers and untied the sash on his robe. He froze when he saw Molly begin to undress. She felt his eyes trail across her body as she stripped down to her bra and underwear.

"You alright, Andrew?" she asked innocently.

"Y-yeah," he stammered.

He's falling for it, she thought, forcing a smile down.

She sat on the edge of the pool, letting her feet dangle into the warm water. Andrew sat next to her, hands folded in his lap.

"This is nice," she said, looking across the rectangle pool. "I can see why you had it put in."

"Yeah," he replied nervously. "Its been really nice to have a place to relax in."

Steam was rising off the water's surface and Molly slid into it, dipping under the water and reappearing several feet from him. The water felt like a warm bath and she could understand the appeal immediately. Andrew's eyes were filled with a hunger as he watched her.

"So did you decide if you're going on a second date with that girl?" she asked, treading water.

He blinked and inhaled sharply. "Ehm - no. I'm not. It was a one-off."

She rested her arms on the edge of the pool directly opposite him, knowing her breasts were on full display in her push up bra and hoping he'd take the bait. "That's unfortunate," she said casually.

He slid into the water, coming up for air and slicking his hair back. "Its alright. There will be others," he replied.

Not if you keep looking at me like that, she thought. Just take the bait, Andrew. You know you want to.

"What about you? Have you been on any dates since?" he asked, coming closer to her.

"You know me," she smiled. "All work, no play." He stiffened when she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm not going to bite, Andrew," she scoffed. "Why are you acting so weird?"

He stared at her. "Molly, I'm not stupid. I know what you're doing."

"Is it working?" she asked, nuzzling her nose against his.

He pushed her against the wall. "What do you think?" he asked softly, pressing his body against her.

Molly gasped as his weight pushed the air from her lungs. She could feel his cock pressing against her pelvic bone. She leaned up to kiss him softly, feeling a heat building between them. His hands came up to grip the edge of the pool on either side of her and he deepened their kiss. A soft sigh escaped him as she pressed her body against his, but when she wrapped her legs around his waist, he broke their kiss.

"Molly, stop," he whispered.

She looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?"

He gripped the edge of the pool tightly. "I can't do this."

"Andrew, I want to. Its fine," she replied, kissing his neck.

He was breathing with effort. "If I start I won't be able to stop." He rested his forehead against hers. "I'll be right where I was before we ended things. My boundaries will mean nothing, and everything will have been for nothing." He bit his lip and took a deep breath. "We aren't together anymore and we can't do this." Despite his words, he was still pressing her up against the pool wall, keeping her there.

"We could be," she said softly. "Together again, I mean."

"No, Molly, we can't. I want things you can't give me," he answered.

She released her legs from his hips, but he still pressed against her. "Like what?"

He considered her for a moment. "Commitment. Absolute certainty. Love. Proof that you want to be with me for the long haul," he said. "I'm not okay with only getting bits and pieces of you when you might have time in your schedule. I want you to make time for me in your life. I want to be a priority. I need to have some type of power over you, like you do with me."

His forehead was still pressed against hers and his breath was hot against her face. "I want you to make sacrifices for me the way I would for you. I need you to trust me completely. And I don't think you can do that. I don't think you can do any of these things for me. So no, we can't be together again."

So that's it. That's what he wants, she thought.

"What if I did those things?" she asked.

He sighed heavily and rubbed his nose against hers. "Molly, do not give me hope if you're not going to fulfill it. I cannot do casual with you. I'm not strong enough."

Molly took her arms from his neck. "I understand," she whispered, closing her eyes to his touch. "I guess I have some things to think about."

That night, Molly lay awake in bed, wondering exactly how to go on from that point. Andrew had told her exactly what he needed from her, so the ball was entirely in her court. She brought her finger tips to her lips, remembering how his had felt against them as he kissed her hungrily.

You know what you need to do, she thought.

Yes. Yes she did.

***

Molly watched as Dublin came into view, emerging on the horizon. Clouds filled the sky overhead and looked like they were threatening rain.

"Who are you meeting?" Andrew asked as he switched lanes.

"Its a secret," she replied with a smirk.

"Alright," he said with a shrug. "But you'll be done by five right?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll meet you at the restaurant," she said.

Andrew looked at her curiously but didn't say anything else about it. "And afterward, we'll go to Henry Street and you can see the lights."

"I need to get your parents something," she said. "What do they like?"

"You don't have to get them anything," he said. "They're just happy to have you here."

"Don't be ridiculous. I have to get them something," she insisted. "What do they like?"

He thought for several seconds. "Books. They like books."

"Apple didn't fall far, huh?" she asked, nudging his leg slightly. "What books do they like?"

Molly felt a slight rush when he wrapped his gloved fingers around hers. "My dad has really been into World War Two lately," he replied.

"And your mom?" she asked, looking at their clasped hands.

Andrew cleared his throat, but didn't move. "She's actually been looking into the history of art in Ireland. So maybe a book about that?"

"Maybe I'll hit up a bookstore while I'm out," she said casually.

When she'd asked Andrew to drive her into Dublin the next afternoon, he assumed it was to see the Christmas lights and shop decorations. He figured they would go and walk around, do some shopping, grab dinner, and then head home. But her real reason for going into the city lay on the Trinity College campus.

Diana, her old professor, was still teaching there and had invited her up for a meeting when Molly reached out to her. Unfortunately, until she knew if it was viable, Molly didn't want to tell Andrew anything. This meant a bit of Cloak and Dagger action, but it was the only way she could be sure she didn't get his hopes up for nothing. The campus bookstore would probably have all sorts of books to choose from for Andrew's parents and she made a mental note to stop by after her meeting.

"I've got it," he exclaimed with a grin. "You've got a hot date."

She felt him entwine his fingers with hers and her heart did a small leap of joy. "Yeah. You've got me," she joked in response. They sat in silence for several minutes and his hand was still on hers. She jiggled them gently. "What's this about?" she asked softly.

He glanced down at her hand in his and then looked over at her. "It feels nice," he said simply. "Doesn't it?"

"Yeah," she answered.

Traffic in the city was a bit manic, but Andrew navigated it expertly. He found a rare parking place on the street in front of St. Stephen's Green and fed the meter.

"Alright, I'll text you the restaurant," he said. "Are you sure you'll be okay on your own?" he asked as a crowd of people pushed around him.

"Andrew, I lived in Dublin for several months, remember? I'll be fine," she replied. "I'll see you at five."

"Right. Tell your date I said hi," he teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him and turned toward the university. The air was cold and gusty as she rushed up the street, sidestepping crowds as she went. Fifteen minutes later, she was walking down an empty hallway looking for Diana's office.

"Molly?" Diana asked from behind her. Molly spun around and the older woman burst into a grin. "I thought I saw you downstairs." Molly hugged her and smiled back. "Its so good to see you again. Come on, we can chat in my office."

Diana led Molly to the end of the hallway and into a well-appointed office with wood paneling and high end furnishings. Molly sat in one of the navy armchairs in front of the large desk and waited for Diana to sit opposite her.

"As happy as I am to see you again, I have to admit I am a little surprised," Diana said, sliding into her chair. "What have you been up to since we last saw each other?"

"In my final year of law school I did an internship with a legal aide group in Los Angeles and when I graduated, they offered me a position," Molly explained. "I've sort of been there ever since."

"Legal aide, huh?" Diana remarked with a grin. "I always knew you'd end up in a place like that. How is it?"

"Its great," Molly said. "Michelle, my boss, is wonderful. I'm focusing on immigration, civil rights, and criminal law. Its really nice."

"So what brings you back to Ireland?" Diana asked.

Molly hesitated. "A - visiting a friend," she said slowly. Diana didn't need to know the true details and she doubted they'd help the situation in the long run.

The older woman surveyed Molly for a moment. "This wouldn't happen to be the same friend you spent that entire summer with, would it?" she asked with a knowing look.

"We reconnected recently," Molly replied vaguely.

"Mmhmm," Diana said, smirking. "Just be careful, Molly. The Irish media is particularly interested in him. He's so private that any chance they get even a hint of something happening in his life, they set to digging. Things have changed a lot for him in the last five years. He is...much more well-known here than I think you realize," she warned.

Molly blinked, taking in Diana's warning. "I-I'll keep that in mind, thanks."

"Anyway, I'm sure you didn't want to set up a meeting just to discuss your love life," the professor remarked. "What can I help you with?"

Molly bit her lip. "I-I was wondering if you think I'd have a good chance of getting into the Master of Laws program here? I always intended on getting the certification, but when I got the job offer for Bright Horizons, I kind of got sucked in."

"But you could do that in America," Diana countered. "There are several excellent schools that offer the program. So why Ireland?"

"LL.M programs in America are more focused on teaching international lawyers how to practice in America," Molly explained. "If I want a truly international education experience, I need to study in another country."

"And you chose Ireland because...?"

"Because Andrew's here," Molly heard herself say unconsciously. "And because I have a history with Trinity already," she added. "I thought the admissions process might be easier here."

"You realize you don't need a Master of Laws to practice here, don't you?" Diana asked. "You're certified from California and you've been actively working for three years. You'd be able to sit the QLTT as things stand right now."

"I'm not entirely sure if I want to practice in Ireland yet," Molly admitted. "And I don't know if I'd want to carry on as a barrister or stay as a solicitor."

"Well, I think the first thing you need to decide is if you want to continue arguing cases in court or if you'd prefer to focus more on offering legal advice and stay closer to the client," Diana started. "Its...not the same here in Ireland as it is in America."

"I kind of figured I'd spend the year during the LL.M program to figure that out," Molly reasoned.

"But if you don't want to practice in Ireland, why spend the time doing it?" Diana asked. "What happens if you and...Andrew...don't work out?"

"Well then I'd still have a Masters of Laws and I could return to California and keep doing what I'm doing," Molly explained. "If things do work out between us, I'd have the time to familiarize myself with Irish law and decide what I wanted to do next after graduation. If I do end up choosing to remain as a solicitor, I can just take the QLTT then and get started. But if I decide to go the barrister route, I'll have the Masters of Laws on my transcript and it'll only help me to get into King's Inns." She tilted her head. "I can't really lose, here. Professionally, I move forward no matter what."

Diana broke into laughter. "That's the Molly I remember - driven and career-focused. For a second I was worried you were letting love get in the way."

Molly offered a smile. "So do you think I'd have a good chance of getting in? Like, what would the application process be like for me?"

"Normally, you submit your application - it has to be done the old school way, in the post," Diana began. "Then we'd consider all of your qualifications and reach out for an interview and then make our decision. Its a rolling admissions process, so we evaluate applications as they come in and make decisions in the order that we receive them." She reached into her desk and pulled out a thick stack of papers. "For you, however, I think I can pull a few strings. If you fill this out today before you leave, I may be able to bypass a few steps."

Molly's heart soared. Was it really that easy? Suddenly the reality of getting back together with Andrew didn't seem so elusive.

"You'll need to get your transcripts and everything sent over, but I'll put a rush on it," Diana said with a conspiratorial grin. "With any luck, you should get a request for an interview the week of New Year's Eve."

Molly looked at her in shock. "That soon?"

"Well, it helps that I'm on the board of admissions now," Diana added with a wink. "Most of this is just a formality. I know your history here, I know your qualifications. We just have to jump through a few hoops like everyone else."

Molly inhaled slowly. "Okay then," she said, happiness flowing through her. "I guess I'll need a pen."

An hour later, with a cramping hand, Molly signed the last page of the application and slid it across Diana's desk. The professor picked it up and added it to the small stack, tapping it on the desk to even the sheets out.

"That should just about do it," Diana said. "I'll drop them off to admissions when I leave."

Molly stretched her fingers. "I don't think I've written that much since I was in school," she chuckled. She watched as Diana fastened the entire application together. "Wait - could I have a copy of the top page? I just...need it for something."

"Sure," Diana said, taking the top page and slipping it into her copier. It scanned and began printing. "How long will you be in Ireland?" she asked while she waited.

"Another three weeks or so I think," Molly said.

"You should come by the house," Diana offered. "I think the kids would love to see you again and it would be nice to catch up with you. You could even bring Andrew."

"I'll ask him and see what he thinks," Molly replied. "It would be nice to catch up." She stood up and took the sheet of paper from Diana. "Thank you. Really."

"Its nothing. I'm glad to help," she replied. "Take care of yourself, Molly. I'll be in touch when we have an answer."

Molly nodded and walked out of Diana's office on Cloud Nine. She took her time walking to the bookstore, enjoying being back on campus again. A few things hand changed since she'd last been there, but it still felt the same as it did before. With any luck, she'd be back again as a student the following September.

After perusing the shelves for twenty minutes, Molly walked out of the bookstore with something for both of Andrew's parents and made her way to the address Andrew had sent her. She found him waiting outside the restaurant on sidewalk, hands tucked into his coat pockets, black beanie pulled down low over his forehead as he looked at his phone. She nudged him from behind as she came up.

He turned in surprise and relaxed when he saw her. "Hey. All sorted?"

"Yeah," she said.

A crowd of people walked out of the restaurant and Andrew turned away from them, looking down at the street. She was reminded of Diana's words: he's much more well-known here than I think you realize.

"We should go inside," Molly said, taking his hand automatically.

He allowed her to pull him through the restaurant after the hostess to a corner in the back. They took off their coats and sat down opposite each other. Andrew kept his beanie on and Molly could see that he was slightly nervous.

"Wasn't this the same hotel we stayed at right before I went back to America?" she asked, trying to distract him.

Way to go, genius. Remind him of when you broke his heart, she thought, mentally kicking herself.

Andrew looked around. "Yeah, it is. That's kind of why I picked it."

The restaurant was attached to The Westbury. It was decorated for the season with holly garlands and twinkling lights draped here and there, giving the dining room a romantic aura.

"Doesn't it kind of have lots of bad memories attached?" she asked, wincing yet again at her subject choice.

He smiled at her. "Only a few. There are more good than bad. I distinctly remember having a pretty good time on the balcony of our suite."

Molly felt a blush rising on her cheeks and looked away. She wanted to ask him about Diana's assertion about his fame, but she didn't know how to phrase it. Their waiter came by and took their drinks order, giving her a few more seconds to work through it in her mind.

"So...my friend kind of implied that you're a much bigger deal here than you let on," she said carefully. "Is that true?" she asked.

He looked around the restaurant again, as if he was expecting something. "I - what do you mean?"

He was playing dumb and she saw right through him. "Andrew, you're acting like you expect someone to pop out of the woodwork at any second and corner you," she chuckled. "Its not a good look."

He inhaled sharply. "I don't usually come into Dublin," he started. "Most photographers don't come all the way out to Bray or Greystones, so I can get away with doing normal stuff. Everyone out there knows I live in the area and I guess the novelty has sort of worn off, thankfully. But since the third album came out, the media has taken a specific liking to me, I guess. And more of my fans have, too." He scratched the side of his neck nervously. "I guess I've risen in the ranks of importance or something."

She considered him for a moment. "We don't have to stay here, you know. I'm happy to eat back at the house or wherever."

"No!" he insisted. "I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't change the way I lived my life just because people would recognize me. Besides, I want you to see the lights and everything," he said, brushing his fingers over hers on the table.

The waiter returned to take their orders and Molly allowed Andrew to pick something for her. After the waiter was gone, she leaned closer to him across the table.

"So what did you do while I was busy?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Just some shopping. I walked around the green for a bit, too," he replied. "It was nice. I really only come into the city for meetings with my label or manager. Sometimes to do press or something like that. So you gave me the perfect excuse to come and explore." He stared at her for a moment. "How was your meeting-thing?"

"It was good," she answered. "Very productive."

In the candlelight, his eyes gleamed from across the table. "Still not gonna tell me what it was about?" he asked.

She could tell it was eating him alive. "No. But it wasn't a date, I promise."

"Did you get the books for my parents?" he asked, nodding to the brown paper bag on the floor at her feet.

"Yeah," she said. "I got your dad one on the Ghost Army and your mom something about art history. I would have gotten Jon something, but I didn't know what he liked."

"Just get him booze," Andrew replied, sipping his from his glass. "I always do."

Molly chuckled. "Alright then," she said. "So what's next after dinner?"

"We can drop your stuff off at the car and then walk around, see the lights and decorations," he said.

Molly saw a flash out of the corner of her eye and turned her head automatically toward it. She relaxed when she saw it was just a birthday party a few tables over taking photos.

"Now who's acting cagey?" he joked, nudging her underneath the table. "Mol, relax. The more paranoid you act, the more attention people give you."

"But won't there be pictures of us together?" she asked. "Won't people start to gossip about us?"

He shrugged. "Probably. But I never talk about that part of my life, so they can speculate all they want. I don't give a damn. They can think whatever they want." As if making his point, he stood and shifted to the seat next to her at the square table.

Molly's head was spinning. One second he was saying he didn't want to be with her unless she did certain things and the next he was flirting and being affectionate with her in public, where someone would surely see and link them together. It was an endless tennis match and her neck felt near to snapping. By the time they were back at the car after walking around, she was even more confused.

"What changed?" she asked as she buckled herself in. He looked at her blankly while pulling into traffic slowly. "You're all affectionate toward me now. I thought we weren't together and you couldn't do casual with me. You're kind of giving me whiplash."

Molly wasn't trying to point out a problem, but rather gauge where he was in terms of his feelings toward getting back together with her. He was acting like he wanted to get back together with her. He was treating her like he wanted to get back together with her. But she knew he had these boundaries and requirements that he was unlikely to change. And even though she'd made a large leap forward by applying to Trinity, she wasn't sure she'd actually get in. As far as she knew, when she left to go back to L.A. in January, they'd part ways and likely never see each other again. So she needed answers.

Andrew sighed. "I guess I'm just hoping you can give me what I need," he said softly. "After our... conversation in the pool, I..." He inhaled slowly. He was trying to find the right words, but was obviously struggling. It was a new side of Andrew she was surprised to see. "Do you remember when I told you that you had this power over me?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, watching him navigate an intersection.

"Right, well when I said that, I meant that your presence sort of...overpowers me, in a way," he continued. "When I'm near you, you are all I can think about. Its...when we were at my parents', all I could think of was you. When I did the live for charity with Alex, it was all I could do to focus. And when we were in the pool...It took every fiber of my being not to fall for the bait you were throwing me," he said, looking at her with a sly grin. "It almost feels like this magnetic or...maybe an animal, primal pull toward you."

Molly listened silently. The lights of the city began to disappear behind them as they headed back to the countryside.

"The first few nights you were here, it took all of my restraint not to make a move - like a real move," Andrew said. "It was like...you know when you get a taste for something and then its all you can think about? That's what it feels like for me." He turned the indicator on to merge lanes and the light tapping noise was all that passed between them for several seconds. "It was excruciating because I know what it feels like to have you under me...on top of me...to be inside of you."

She felt the heat between them rising and reached forward to change the direction of the air vent pointed at her. "If...if you feel that way, why keep tempting yourself, then? You sound like an addict, Andrew." His words were slightly terrifying to her and she had the brief thought that perhaps he'd be better off if she wasn't there.

"It kind of feels like that," he agreed. "I guess I...I thought that if I could handle you in small doses, if I could touch you without anything coming from it, it would be easier."

"Is it...easier?" she asked slowly.

"No," he chuckled. "Not at all. But it feels a hell of a lot better than nothing." He swallowed and tapped the steering wheel lightly with his thumb. "Even if I know it'll be worse when you leave."

Traffic had come to a stand-still and the car was bathed in the red of tail lights in front of them.

"What are you thinking right now?" she asked, looking over at him.

He bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm not going to tell you that."

You could tell him about the application, she thought. Diana did say you were a shoo-in. And it would make things so much fucking easier.

But his words hung in her mind. She was like a drug for him. And nothing about that sounded healthy.

"Andrew...was it like this...before?" she asked. "During the summer?"

"No. I only noticed it after October," he said. "And honestly, I know how it sounds. It sounds like I'm obsessed with you." The car in front of them inched forward. "I only felt it after I couldn't be with you anymore, mostly because I wasn't ready to say goodbye."

Molly felt the weight of their history hanging between them. She swallowed heavily and looked away from him. Traffic picked up speed again and they started back toward his home in silence.

DEUXMOI SPOTTED:

Hozier in Dublin tonight with a girl. Seemed really into her. They ate at Balfe's and were VERY flirty. He couldn't take his eyes off her the whole time. Pics attached! He looks SUPER deadly and she's really pretty.

R/HOZIERFANS:

EDEN1975 POSTED: Deuxmoi had a spotted about Andrew- He was seen out at a restaurant in Dublin yesterday night. Apparently he wasn't alone.

HOZISSHOES POSTED: I wonder if this is the 'friend from America' he mentioned in his live the other day. I thought it was really strange that he'd specifically single someone out like that.

FORESTDADDY90 POSTED: There were rumors back in September of him being seen out with a girl in Los Angeles at the end of the American tour. I wonder if this is the same girl? She's very pretty, from what I can tell from the photos. Its lovely to see him happy with someone.

HOZISSHOES POSTED: yes! I remember those rumors! And then again in October! Except he was with a girl at Haim's Halloween party or something like that. I wasn't buying the idea that she was a random guest or a friend of Haim's. But I can't tell from these photos if she's the same girl from that party.

EDEN1975 POSTED: I'm just surprised people aren't talking about how there was obviously another person in the room for that Live. Why else would he keep looking above the camera like he was? And I'm not one to really speculate, but it must have been someone really special for him to look at them like he did.