" Wade, please. I'm standing right in front of you! Why won't you believe me? " Peter said, his voice quickly rising to the point that he's screaming at the man across from him, his face red and tear stained. He didn't understand. Why was Wade acting so weird? Like an utter jackass?

" Okay, Yes Peter I know you're right here. Just stop yelling." Wade said with an exhausted sigh. He wasn't up for this, he wanted the mind tricks to just stop. He was tired and was past the point of wanting to curl in on himself from the sight of Peter's pain. His mind was mocking him, he wanted the hallucination to just stop. To just go away.

Peter's anger ebbed away as he stared at Wade like the man had just slapped him. His boyfriend was still acting like Peter wasn't there. Wade was treating him the same way he treated the hallucinations of his daughter when he was having bad days with the voices. "You still don't believe?" The arachnid with such a broken voice that it sent chills up Wade's spine. As he moved towards the shower in their small bathroom... his small bathroom.

It just sounded so real.

"I wish I could afford to. But we all know that it will just end in disaster. We can't lose ourselves to our mind. I- I can't fall victim to them any more than I already have. This is just the boxes. You're not here Peter." Wade said before he pulled his shirt over his head.

The shower would calm him down. They always gave the Merc the opportunity to calm down. The boxes always relaxed when he was under the warm spray of water. This should work all the same. If he could calm down then Peter would go away. He could free himself of the pain that threatened to choke him when he saw the young man standing there staring back at him. It had always worked before. It should work now. He just wanted the chance to feel sane. He wanted a moment to pretend that he wasn't unstable, a-

[ A monster, insane, ugly, broken, dysfunctional, angry, dangerous. Make it all go away, Wade. We don't want to see this. We don't want him any more than you do. Make him go away. ] Yellow said, his voice somewhere between a growl and a plea.

..... Blood was always easier to clean off of the bathroom tiles anyway.

[ Paint the walls with your blood like you let those people paint the pavement with Peter's. ] The box snarled angrily.

Peter had never liked messes. He most certainly would hate the messes Wade liked to make now. The Merc always cleaned them up though. He wouldn't want to disappoint his baby boy, even if Petey wasn't here to appreciate what Wade was doing.... Not that he'd like why Wade was doing it.

. . . If everything was clean, it was a way of keeping Peter alive, a way of remembering him and pretending like someday Peter wouldn't be gone.

( But we can't do it right. There is something off when we clean. Not quite organized enough, not completely aligned or spotless the way Peter liked..... We can't do anything right) White sighed sadly.

Peter stared at Wade with wounded astonishment as the mercenary continued to undress, his back to the arachnid.

"Why?" Peter tried to ask but all that came out was something close to a whimper as he balanced right on the edge of tears. Why? What had he done? What hadn't he done?

The hero's eyes fell to the tiled floor. What had he done? He realized he couldn't remember. The more he tried to think the farther the memories seemed to slip away from him. H- he just couldn't. There was nothing. He knew who Wade was, he knew that they were lovers, he knew everything about the man but could recall any one memory. There was nothing, no childhood, no past relationships, he couldn't remember a single mission he'd been on, or being with the Avengers. He knew he was Spider-Man, but he couldn't remember being Spider-Man.

Peter absentmindedly reached for the switch to turn on the bathroom fan. He knew Wade always forgot to turn it on. Or at least Wade wouldn't admit he did it on purpose because he liked getting out and the room being warm from the condensation of his hot shower. Of course, Peter wasn't sure how he knew that. But he did.

Wade paused in the movement of pulling the shower curtain to look up at Peter, glancing up at the vent as it whirred to life before his eyes fell back down to Peter, staring with mild concern before shaking his head and closing the curtain. He was just imagining it after all. It would be insane to believe that that had been anything but a master trick of his mind. He probably turned the vent on himself and didn't notice it at first.

Peter watched in his appointment as Wade continued to ignore him minutes after he'd gotten his attention with the fan. The silvery flowers of the cloth curtain on the exterior of the tub did little to hide his partner from his view, only a thick white stripe on the curtain at about hip height hiding Wade's genitalia from sight. A clever design by whoever made the curtain, a detail Peter had never really noticed due to normalcy having always been in the shower with Wade.

Peter stood their quietly for minutes, maybe only seconds. He really wasn't sure, it didn't really matter because it struck him that maybe he didn't need to convince Wade by his word. Any hallucination would say that they were real, but Wade could convince him with touch, with love and feeling.

Peter stood a little straighter as thought through the idea. Yes, it could work. The Body would have a hard time imagining touch sensation while in an awake state. The brunette turned to the mirror to look at himself, running his hand through his hair, giving himself a nod of reassurance before looking back over at the shower. The arachnid took a breath before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it over into the corner of the bathroom over by the door, tossing of his shoes and socks before unbuttoning his pants. He slid them off along with his boxers, shoving the clothing over to be with his shirt.

Peter pauses, looking over his shoulder and back into the mirror, his eyes tracing over his own pale skin and the muscle of his back like he himself was trying to be sure that he wasn't going to disappear. Once he was more than reassured that he wasn't a vampire, he slowly made his way over to the shower.

He hesitantly moves the curtain aside just enough to look in on Wade, quietly looking at his boyfriend's features as the water cascades around him. Wade's eyes are shut as he faces up into the warm spray, his expression anything but peaceful was Peter looks at him. Peter knows him well enough to be able to see the man was fighting with himself, trying to block out the world around him. He was trying to ignore his voices, his own existence, the world.... Peter's presence.

Finally, Peter stepped into the tub silently, his powers keeping him from slipping and his skin from squeaking on the porcelain as he stepped in. The water tickled his feet as he stood under the arch of water that Wade was standing, watching the taller male for a few seconds before reaching out to him.

" Wade," Peter said softly as he placed a soft hand on Wade's scared chest, looking up into Blue eyes when they opened in surprise to stare down at Peter.

Surprise quickly shifted to sadness and a hint of despair when the merc realized that it was still Peter, that the young man was still there. "Why won't you leave me?" The man whispered, looking down at Peter with pained eyes.

Peter flinched away from Wade's words, despite their soft delivery, they had still packed quite the punch, even after hours of going through this cycle of conversation with Wade. The arachnid shook his head at the Dad question, pulling himself against Wade in a one-sided hug, trying to convince Wade that he was there. That he wasn't dead, that he was standing right there in front of him, open and begging for affection and attention. "Wade, I don't want to go away, I've never wanted to leave. How long will it take for me to get that through your thick skull?" Peter muttered against Wade's

"But you have. You do every time you make that promise. You broke it when you died, you broke it the first night you showed up, only hours after your accident, you've broken it every time! Every Time! No matter how many times I've tried to beg you to stay you leave, you always break your promises that I won't be left alone. And guess what Peter? Saying that I'll always be in your heart doesn't doesn't change shit! You're still gone, you're still just my mind choosing to torture me by reminding me every day of what I've done. Of what I hadn't done, how I killed you!" Wade snapped. "Every time I wake up, you're gone. What makes this time any more special than the last?"

"Wade, for the last time, I'm not dead. I don't know who put that in your head or what's going on, but you're not imagining me. Someone is messing with us and I'm sorry that's 'been hurting you, but here we are, In the Here and the Now." Peter insisted, looking up at Wade, hands coming to cup either side of the Merc's lovely face.

(Hey! Fanfic reference!)

[Shut up]

"You know very well what happened Peter," Wade whispered in disappointment like he was talking to a relentless child.

Peter shook his head. No. the truth was, he didn't. He had no idea what was really going on, and he didn't want to know what Wade meant when he kept insisting that he was dead.

Wade watched Peter's eyes stare up at him, insisting that he was alive, insisting that there was nothing wrong. There was something concerning and odd about this Peter, but maybe Wade just needed to convince Peter, to make him understand what had happened in order to make him go away... Maybe it was just Wade who needed convincing himself.

"Peter." Wade started, Slowly and with a pained, sad expression. "I love you. I have and always will love you. But you're dead Peter. You died, and there's no coming back from that." The merc said the words with an earnest expression, trying to get the other to understand. He just wanted the arachnid to understand.

" W-What?" 

So what do You think? This has been edited and posted 12/10

*Fanfic referenced is my own. GO ahead and check it out. It's Spideypool!