~

They're always there.

They never leave.

Pulsating layers of

Pain and

Stress and

Endless longing for the past.

They strain to be felt,

Howl to be heard.

Clawing at the walls I've built

To keep them away.

Most of the time

I can manage.

Most of the time

I can shove them aside.

But some days,

Crack in the dam grows too wide

And the walls crumble too quickly

And I don't have enough strength

To hold it together.

The misery and

The memories and

The heartache explode.

A wave of anguish

Comes crashing down.

For minutes

Or seconds

Or hours

The water churns,

The suppressed emotions

Freed from their prison.

And then I fight for control.

Deep, shaking breaths and

Eyes squeezing shut and

Shoving against the pain,

Screaming at them to

Go away

Until they finally surrender,

Defeated for the time being.

Until they slink away,

Back behind the walls I've rebuilt.

And are locked away

Once again. 

~