Chapter Six - Gandalf's Dangly Grey Balls
They were early.
River had parked outside the main warehouse, in the midst of a long stretch of road.
Sasha stepped out the car, under the guise of keeping a lookout for Donovan, though casually dropped in she would be making a phone call, not specifying to who or why.
River watched her – not creepily – as she paced back and forth, phone clutched tight.
"Who do you think she's calling?"
Louisa was sat in the middle of the backseats, typing on her phone. "Jack, I'd imagine," she said disinterestedly. River involuntarily felt the muscles in his face contort into a look of disgust. Stupid, arrogant, unreasonably handsome Jack Pearce. "I assume it's to determine whether Tearney is setting us up. Or perhaps they're arranging another hookup."
River tried not to think about that. His short fingernails tapped the steering wheel. "I just– I don't get it. Why's it always him?"
Louisa quirked an eyebrow. "Jealous?"
River scoffed. "Jeal– jeslous? You think I'm jealous of Jack Pearce? He's a prick."
She shrugged. "He's got the job. The girl."
"They're not even together," River pointed out. He frowned, glancing into the rear view mirror to catch Louisa's expression. "They're not together, are they?"
"No, but there's obviously feelings there," Louisa said. Unfortunately, River did know that, although it wasn't something he liked to be reminded about. "But there's clearly something between you both too."
Shit. Was Louisa onto him? Was Sasha?
River chuckled cluelessly in attempt to disguise how fast his heart was beating. "What are you talking about?"
"God give me strength, I've already had this conversation once today."
River didn't know what to make of that.
"I'm not an idiot, River" Louisa carried on. "I see the way you look at her. Subtlety isn't exactly your strong point."
"I– it's not like that," River denied. "I mean, I care about her, yeah. But I'm closest to her out of everyone and–"
"Jesus, you're such an idiot."
River swivelled round to face her. "Look, even if I did have feelings for Sasha– which I don't, and am appalled at the insinuation, by the way–" Louisa rolled her eyes. "She's way too far out of my league."
"Insanely far," Louisa agreed.
"Wow. Thanks for that."
"But I wouldn't rule it out. Just saying."
River automatically opened his mouth to respond, but his brain seemed to short circuit. He blinked, tried to process her words. "Wait. What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh my God! Just figure it out already."
Outside, Sasha impatiently tapped her foot against the concrete. Mobile pressed to her ear, she waited for the call to connect.
Oblivious to the conversation happening inside the car, she surveyed their surroundings – or lack thereof. On first glance, the facility could easily have been mistaken for being completely deserted. The brickwork was crumbling and the road was full of rubble. It looked as if nobody had set foot nearby for years.
Sasha spared a glanced behind her. She accidentally caught River's eyes through the front windshield. He responded with an awkward smile, raising his hand. She offered him a small consolation wave, then quickly turned back around.
After around the tenth ring, Sasha lowered her phone and prepared to be greeted with Jack's voicemail.
But then, hallelujah, the dulcet tones of a strong south London accent. "Alright sweetheart?"
"Hi, yeah, whatever, I need to run something by you."
"Ah, and there was me thinking you were calling to take me up on my drinks offer."
Well, a night of drinking and meaningless sex certainly did sound appealing after the day she'd had. Nonetheless, "I've got more important things going on right now."
"You know how to wound a man, Hartley."
"Listen, I need your advice." Sasha directed the conversation back on track. "Tearney's been in contact with River, assigne–"
Jack chuckled. "He made it out alive then?"
"Just about, no thanks to Duffy."
"Heard Hobbs got a couple licks in too–"
"Shut up." Sasha interrupted. "Tearney's assigned him an op – escorting Donovan into the facility to see the Grey Books. Problem is that it–"
"Stinks of shit?"
"I don't understand why else Tearney would contact River personally. Feels like she's playing a game, you know?"
"Well, it's Tearney."
"So the Park knows nothing about this?" Sasha asked. "Even Taverner?"
"No clue, S," Jack replied. "What's to gain from it?"
"Donovan will release Catherine if he gets the Grey Books."
"Hm. Tricky," he acknowledged. "Is it just Cartwright going into that facility, or you?"
"River can't sense danger even when it slaps him in the face," Sasha said. "Obviously we're not gonna let him go in alone."
"Want my advice? You should."
Sasha scratched the back of her neck, looking back at the car. River and Louisa were... hugging? What the fuck? She shook her head, dismissing whatever the hell was going on there from her brain, and turned back around. "Look, if you find out anything–"
"Yeah, yeah, you'll be the first to know."
"Thanks."
"Hey, Sasha," Jack began. "Be careful, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"And, uh, if you do make it out–" Sasha knew exactly what was coming. She could practically hear his smug grin. "Feel free to give me a call. Got a bottle of wine with your name on it."
"Don't get your hopes up. It's been a long fucking day."
"All the more reason."
A set of headlights flashed in front of her vision. Donovan. "Shit. Gotta go."
She hung up, slotted her phone into her jeans pocket. River and Louisa climbed out the car to join her.
"Find out anything?" Louisa asked.
"The Park knows nothing," Sasha replied. "Can't work out whether that's good or bad."
River shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, it's us so, usually bad."
The trio stood in a line as Donovan's car slowed to a stop. Two men stepped out. One of them was Sean Donovan, Sasha knew, because he looked exactly like the person they identified on CCTV earlier. The other was a brunette white man, slim build and tall. They had no intel on him that Sasha was aware of, but she had to assume he was one of Catherine's kidnappers.
Both sides walked forwards, meeting in the middle. River began by introducing them. "River Cartwright. Sasha Hartley. Louisa Guy." He indicated to each of them. "Once you've seen what you need to see, Catherine Standish is to be released. Understood?"
Donovan nodded.
Sasha asked, "How is she?"
"Unharmed?" River added.
"Of course," Donovan assured him. "You did a good job this morning, getting into the Park. Sorry if it came back to bite you."
Despite the clear evidence of injuries and suffering in his face, River brushed the comment off. "It's fine."
Donovan's companion turned to him, lowering his voice. "Are you sure this is the place?"
"You sure lasers are controlling the weather?" Louisa said sarcastically. "Arms out."
Both men obliged, though none of Slow Horses made an effort to move. Sasha glanced expectantly at River – after all, he wanted to take the lead.
"Anyone?" Donovan prompted.
"Well, I'm not doing it," Louisa said.
"You–" River cut off. "I thought–" He exhaled in defeat. "Yeah."
After the security checks had taken place, the five of them piled into River's car. It was a tight fit. Sasha and Louisa had engaged in intense hushed whispers to fight over the passenger seat. Eventually, it was determined Sasha was the smallest, thus was squished into the back with the strangers. She scowled for the entire duration to make her feelings known. River found amusement in catching her glare whenever he checked the rear-view mirror.
The route to the facility took them through a dark and grimy underground tunnel. They pulled up outside a large metal gate. River killed the engine, keyring looping over his finger as he got out. Sasha stepped straight into a wet puddle and grumbled under her breath, shaking the water from her boots.
Louisa led the way. She located the buzzer on the side panel of the wall and pressed it twice.
"Please present your Service IDs at the scanner," a Welsh voice instructed.
Louisa dug her ID from her back pocket and held it up to the camera.
"Your hair is different on your Service photo."
"I dyed it."
"I prefer it natural."
"Open the door."
"You're not on the list."
"Well, I don't give a shit," Louisa snapped. "Open the fucking door!"
"Okay. Okay–" River interjected. "Um, maybe let me try."
Louisa stepped aside. "Jesus Christ."
River held his ID in front of the scanner.
"Ah, Cartwright."
"Sorry. Have we met?"
"No, no. But I know your handiwork. Your itemizing skills are, pardon my French, absolument merde. Which is genuine French for absolutely shit."
River didn't dwell. His ability to take criticism on the chin was quite remarkable. "Yeah, look, listen. We need to escort these men in to take a peek at the Grey Books."
"It's unscheduled."
Sasha let out an audible groan of frustration, stomping towards the camera. "Listen here–"
"Ingrid Tearney sent us," River said, quickly holding out an arm to stop her. "You know who that is? Head of MI5. You wanna give her a call?"
"No need. Said it was unscheduled, not
that it wasn't possible. Entrez." There was a lengthy buzz and the sound of metal clanging. The door was pulled across, revealing a pale, dark haired man. He greeted them with a kind smile. "Welcome to the domain of Douglas."
They followed him inside. It was a typical storage facility; drab grey walls, a concrete floor that made their footsteps echo, and a horrible chill that made Sasha glad she had stolen River's jacket.
A single desk and computer was set up in the main room. Dotted around were old, tattered boxes stacked in small piles.
The door slammed shut behind them. Douglas clasped his hands together. "Right. Would you like the full tour?"
"No."
"Edited highlights?"
"No," Louisa dismissed again. "Point us towards the Grey Books, please."
"Ooh. To my mind, they're the highlights," Douglas grinned. "Crazy shit. Kindly accompany me to the nerve centre, from where you may proceed." He waved them along enthusiastically. Sasha expected he didn't get many visitors. Pointing at Louisa, Douglas said, "Hey, your hair really has changed color, you know."
"I know, I was there when it happened."
Douglas took them through the room, to another desk. He sat down, pulled out a map and uncapped a red marker pen, drawing a red circle. "X marks the spot, room, and once in there, I've written the shelf and row number." He smiled at them, handing the map to River. "Have fun."
"We will."
Map in hand, River led the way. Several corridors later, he slowed to a stop, peering at the piece of paper once more. "Right, so it should be up here..." River turned right, propping the door open with one arm. "Yeah, here it is. There you are. All right." He held the map towards Donovan. "As Douglas said, the shelf numbers–"
Donovan snatched it from him. But, instead, stalked down the corridor.
Sasha watched after him in disbelief. "What the fuck?"
"What are you doing?" Louisa questioned.
"Donovan, the fuck you doing?" River called.
"Stop," Louisa demanded. Both men ignored her, continued walking. "I said stop!"
A gunshot rang out, bullet smacking the pipes above them with a ridiculously loud clang. Sasha instinctively ducked down alongside River. Donovan and Ben did too. Slowly, they turned around with their arms raised.
Hands clutched over his ears, River exclaimed, "Oh my God that was loud!"
"On your knees," Louisa ordered.
Sasha exchanged a wide-eyed what the fuck?! look with River.
"We came here to get something–"
"–The Grey Books," Louisa interrupted.
"And we're going to get it."
"They're in there." She motioned the weapon towards the door. "So where are you going?"
"You can shoot me," Donovan said calmly. "But it will be in my back, and I am unarmed, which doesn't look very good." Gradually, he lowered his arms. The brunette man eyed him unsurely for a moment, then followed his actions. "That said, you people are very good at covering up murder. Now, we're gonna turn around. We're gonna keep walking until we find what we came here for."
"No, you're not!" Louisa yelled, still pointing the gun.
But the men took no notice, pushing open the next door.
"Yes, they are," River pointed out. "Well, they called your bluff and you were bluffing."
Louisa huffed as they began to trudge after them. "Thanks for the collective responsibility." She shoved open the door.
Donovan and Ben led them through more winding corridors before finally entering the room they wanted.
Almost immediately, the phone attached to the wall inside started ringing, shrill and high pitched.
"This is ridiculous," Louisa muttered. The furthest door swung shut behind the two men. "We're gonna have to call Lamb."
"Call Lamb a-and say what?" River asked. Sasha peered through the glass as Donovan and Ben began ransacking files. "That 'we've lost control of that situation you didn't want us involved in'?"
"Well, then Tearney then."
"That's an even worse idea," Sasha dismissed.
Louisa turned to River exasperatedly. "Well, you wanted to lead, so lead."
"Uh, I am leading."
"Really?"
"Yes, this is me leading," he said. "What other suggestions have you got, please?"
Louisa barged through the door. "Get that." She pointed to the phone, which had broken out into a shrill ring tone. "It'll be Douglas freaking out."
River huffed. He stomped over to the phone and snatched it.
"Where in the name of Gandalf's dangly grey balls are you going?"
"It's a developing situation, Douglas, all right? But it-it's under control."
"Doesn't appear that way. There are men outside with guns."
"All right, I'll come and have a look."
"Thank you."
River smacked the phone against the receiver. "Okay," he began, stepping into the middle of the room. "So, apparently there are men outside with guns."
Sasha automatically whirled around. "What?"
"Who?" Louisa pressed.
Ben glanced up from the file he was trawling through. "Shit, have we been fucked?"
"By whom?" Louisa reiterated.
"Keep looking," Donovan instructed.
"Okay, well, you guys just stay here and carry on doing...whatever it is you're doing," Sasha gestured to their surroundings unsurely. "I'll find out what's happening."
"I'll go with you," River offered.
The pair left Louisa with the gun. She was perfectly capable of taking charge – probably better than Sasha and definitely better than River.
Sasha couldn't shake the horrible feeling eating away at her – that they had been too rash to accept the mission. Too thoughtless of consequences. Too naive to believe it would go smoothly; that they would find what they were searching for and get Catherine back without a hitch. There had to be a reason Tearney assigned the op to River. And it was probably because it was about to explode in their faces.
Sasha slammed her hands against the door to open it. "Fuck me, this blows. I knew it was a set up."
"Yeah, well, you didn't have to come here, did you?" River bit back.
"Uh, don't fucking snap at me."
"I didn't snap," he argued. "It was–"
"You snapped," she insisted. "What the hell is your problem?"
"This was my mission and–"
"–And it's going wrong, so naturally it's mine and Louisa's fault?" Sasha finished for him. River opened his mouth to contest, but never found the words. She shook her head in disappointment, stomping further ahead. "You really are a prick."
"Neither of you could trust me to do just one thing properly," River claimed. "Something the first desk personally asked me to do."
Sasha scoffed. "Oh please, it really doesn't strike you as a set up? Douglas just told us there are men with guns outside!"
"I'm sure it's backup, all under control."
"Oh my God, you're delusional," Sasha remarked. "Think about it, River. Of all people, Tearney asked you. Why?"
"Uh, maybe because I'm good at my job," River retorted. "Because I snuck in and out of the Park this morning and–"
"Got the living shit beaten out of you."
"Yeah, well, I was sent that photo of Standish and told to do what they say or she dies, so, didn't exactly have a choice in that, did I?"
Sasha stopped walking and spun around. River almost slammed into her. "Yeah, and it turned out to be a set up by fucking Spider," Sasha reminded him. "And, in case you've forgotten, I was the one who called you to get out of there."
"What because you got some intel from your boyfriend?"
Sasha went rigid. "I worked it out by myself, actually. And boyfriend? What the hell are you talking about?"
"All right, your fuck buddy then."
River regretted his words the second they left his mouth. They had just fallen from him, all bitter and twisted with jealousy. And he hated himself for being so petty. Hated what he'd insinuated. But most of all, he hated the way her expression crumbled.
"Wow." Sasha ran a hand over her face. "Wow. You really are unreal."
River reached for her. "Sasha, I'm sorry–"
She shrunk back. "No, not fucking accepted. Tell me, yeah, tell me how it's your business who I choose to sleep with? And then tell me how the fuck it correlates with my ability to do my job?"
River fell silent. Sasha's hands shook at her sides, chest heaving with each deep breath. She couldn't comprehend the bitterness of making a remark like that, especially when all day her priority had been to help him. Their stares battled. River didn't dare say anything more.
"You know what?" Sasha shook her head, taking a step backwards. "Have it your way, Cartwright. You don't want me here? I'll go."
His demeanour softened. "Sash, no, that's not what I want. I swear–" But she had already turned on her heel and stormed away. "Sasha!" River scurried after her, almost tripping over his feet in the hurry. "Sasha, wait!"
Walking backwards, she raised both middle fingers. "Go fuck yourself!"
Sasha turned around and shoved the door open with such ferocity that it smacked against the wall, the sound reverberating down the corridor.
"Please, just– look, don't go," River pleaded, speeding up to catch her. He tried to reach for her arm. "Sasha–"
"Don't," she snapped, retracting from his grasp.
Sasha strode into Douglas' office and demanded, "Show me."
Douglas' eyes widened with fear. Looking a little pasty, he wheeled his chair aside, giving her full access to the computer screen. There were multiple squares of CCTV showing different entrances and spots around the building. All of them featured men dressed in black, with riot gear, helmets and firearms. And leading the way? Nick fucking Duffy.
Leaning over her shoulder to take a closer look, River assured, "Oh. Yeah, that's fine. That's Nick Duffy. He's head of MI5 security."
Sasha blinked. In what world was that fine?
"Oh." Duncan exhaled in relief, shoulders slacking.
Sasha felt as if she were actively losing brain cells being in the same room as the two men.
"This is probably just another level of protection for us," River assumed.
She stared at him incredulously. "Genuine question. Were you dropped on your head as a fucking baby?"
"I mean, it's definitely overkill," River admitted. "And he definitely doesn't like me. But, um...No, I'm sure there's an explanation."
"River," Sasha addressed firmly. "How are you not seeing this? Tearney has fucked us."
She watched on the main screen as the men used their vehicles to drag a large boulder over one of the outside hatches. She assumed it was their only remaining exit route. Which left them stuck.
"Oh," River said. "Yeah, that's not good."
One of the CCTV cameras cut out, fading into a static grey.
NO SIGNAL.
Another followed. And another. Until all the live feeds were down, leaving them dark to anything that was happening outside.
Douglas chuckled nervously. "Why would they do that?"
Sasha turned to River, brows raised expectantly. She was right. Again.
"Uh, well, usually it would be because they're just about to storm a building," River mumbled. He tore away from them and snatched the black telephone on the desk, hurriedly dialling a number.
Douglas peered closer at the screen. "Well, it looked like they left the hatch at the end of the main tunnel," he noted.
"So there's still a route out?" Sasha asked. She set a hand on the back of his chair for balance and peered closer.
He looked over his shoulder, confirmed with a nod.
Okay. So they had something to work with. Duffy couldn't flush them out like rats just yet. As long as none of those men figured out to block the remaining hatch.
"How do I get an outside line?" River inquired.
"145."
River started dialling again. Sasha assumed he was calling Lamb. It made sense, though she doubted he'd be too willing to bail him out. She also remembered he would be on his road trip with Roddy, so perhaps the call was directly to Slough House – Sasha checked her watch. Shirley and Marcus should still be hanging around.
River glanced back at them. "Can they get through that hatch?"
"Uh, no," Douglas answered. "It opens from the inside."
"What about the main entrance?" Sasha asked.
"That opens both ways," Douglas informed. "But they can't get in unless I let them in."
"All right."
Sasha heard the dial tones. Several seconds dragged past before someone on the other end picked it up.
"Uh, it's me. It's Cartwright," River spoke. A long pause. "Hello?"
"You rang me. Get on with it," Lamb said gruffly.
"Just a quick one," he began. "Sasha, Louisa and I are down at the facility, but Nick Duffy's just turned up with Chieftain."
"All right."
"Okay," River said awkwardly, glancing to Sasha for help, as if she could possibly solve his and Lamb's terrible conversation skills. "Um, maybe some backup might be handy. Just as a precaution."
Douglas' eyes widened at the notion. He pushed his chair back, glancing between them worriedly. River waved a hand in a meagre attempt to reassure him.
"Well, I'm busy."
"Okay, thanks. Well, I'm sure the situation
will resolve itself."
"I fired Scratch and Sniff a little while ago, maybe they're still kicking around the office nicking pens and toilet rolls."
Lamb hung up.
River lowered the phone.
"What did he say?" Sasha asked, stepping closer.
He held a finger up, quickly dialling another number. "Not a lot, but–"
"You've reached the Aldersgate office, please leave a message."
"Uh, it's me. It's Cartwright," River began. "Look, Lamb said you might still be there. If you are, Sasha, Louisa and I are down at the facility. Um, but Nick Duffy's turned up with a load of Chieftain men and guns."
Douglas' head dropped into his hands. Realising that River had only reached the answering machine, Sasha moved away from the computers, motioning for the phone. "Pass it to me."
"It's just a complete shit show. Oh, and they've cut the CCTV. Um–"
"River. Pass me the phone," Sasha ordered. "Before the line goes dead. Let me just– River!"
She grasped for the curly, wired cord and tugged. The phone slipped from his grip. Sasha intercepted it expertly and slammed it down on the receiver.
"Hey–"
"Shut up. We don't have long."
Hurriedly, her fingers flew across the keyboard, punching in the number.
"Calling Jack, I assume?" River failed to disguise the bitterness in his voice.
"If you bring him up in that tone one more time I swear to God, I will get Louisa's gun and I will shove it so far up your fucking arse–"
Jack answered. "Charmed as always."
"Hey," Sasha breathed out. But it was only a temporary relase, the gravity of the situation slamming straight back into her.
"You alright?" He asked, concern filling his voice. "S?"
"Duffy's here," she said. "Brought a load of Chieftain men. Looks like they raided the whole fucking firearm's department. We need back up."
"Fuck. Sasha, listen to me. Get out of there right now. You hear me? You gotta g–"
The line went dead.
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