Purificacion

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Arvante, first of all welcome to my office. I'm glad you chose our church as your wedding venue, malaki ang pasasalamat namin sa inyo."

Nakipagkamay kami kay Father Quirino na may ngiti sa labi. Kanina pa nakaalis ang babaeng kasama ni Father Quirino sa opisina na kinikilalang Jewel Elias pero hindi mapawi-pawi sa utak ko ang mga itsura nila noong amin silang nakita.

Hindi na ako virgin, actually kahit nga pinaka-sheltered na tao ay magkakaroon ng ideya kung ano man ang ginagawa nila noong oras na 'yon. But it's not my business to mind though.

Kung ano man ang namamagitan kay Father Quirino at Jewel ay sa kanila na iyon. Problema nila 'yon. Pero iniisip ko rin na baka ginagamit ni Father Quirino ang authoritative position niya para gawin ang gusto niyang gawin sa babae kaya sumusunod na lang si Jewel sa gusto niya... pasimple kong iniling ang ulo ko.

Hindi ako dapat mag-isip ng ganito sa mga taong hindi ko naman kilala. I shouldn't bring my negative mindset on other people's relationship, hindi maganda ang kalalabasan nito.

Tumikhim ako at inayos ang pagkakaupo saka nakinig nang maayos sa sinasabi ng pari.

"Let's start this by asking you, how long have you been together? Can you give me some background or short introduction about this relationship of yours?" Father Quirino asked.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Tal, parehong nakasara ang bibig at walang namumutawing salita mula doon.

"Pwede niyo namang ibigay sa akin ang estimate lang, hindi niyo naman kailangang maging specific," paliwang pa ng pari.

"T-Three weeks..." mahina kong sagot sa kaniya na ipinagkunot ng kaniyang noo.

Father Quirino leaned back in his chair and stared at us in an awe. "Threw weeks, huh? Gaano katagal na kayo magkakilala?"

"Three weeks," sagot naman ni Tal.

"I'm confused," he says as his eyebrows burrowed deeper. "Three weeks pa lang kayo magkakilala at naging magkasintahan pero handa na kayong magpakasal?"

Natigilan kaming dalawa sa sinabi niya. Was he not aware?

"Excuse me, Father, hindi ka ba nasabihan ni Dad sa dahilan kung bakit kami magpapakasal?" balik-tanong ni Batallion sa kaniya.

"Ano nga ba ang dahilan, Mr. Arvante? Enlighten me."

"We were arranged," ako na ang sumagot. "Hindi kami magpapakasal dahil mahal namin ang isa't-isa, nandito kami para sa kasunduan ng pamilya namin."

Father Quirino blinked. And again. Then again. And yet again.

Umayos siya nang pagkaupo sa kaniyang swivel chair at nilapit ang sarili sa lamesa. "Do you love each other, Mr. Arvante and Ms. Tejano?" tanong niya habang nakapatong ang kamay sa lamesa.

Mukha siyang seryosong-seryoso, parang mas pipiliin ko na lang 'wag magsalita kaysa sabihin ang totoo sa kaniya. Napuno ng katahimikan ang paligid, walang kahit sino man ang may balak na basagin ang katahimikan na 'yon.

Mahal ko nga ba si Tal? No. Kung sasabihin kung oo, kulang na lang ay magkaroon ako ng pulang ilong at magiging clown na ako. Hindi ko mahal si Tal ngayon at kahit kailan. Bumait siya ngayon at naging civil ang trato namin sa isa't-isa, oo, pero hindi ko nakikita ang sarili kong kasama siya na may ngiti ako lagi sa mukha. Imposible 'yon.

Nabibingi na ako sa katahimikan kaya hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong sumagot ng, "Hindi. I mean, hindi pa kami nagkakakilala ng gaano katagal kaya imposibleng mahal namin ang isa't-isa." Dinugtungan ko pa 'yon ng mahinang tawa upang mapagaan ang sitwasyon.

Tumango-tango si Father Quirino, pagkat malalim ang iniisip. Lumingin ako sa direksyon ni Tal, nakatingin lang siya sa akin. Walang salitang namumutawi mula sa kaniyang bibig. Weird.

"Sagrado ang pagpapakasal, at mas lalo na ang pagpapakasal sa loob ng simbahan. Hindi basta-bastang business o family arrangement lang ang pagpapakasal para sa paniniwala naming mga katoliko and what you are doing right now is insulting our ideals about marriage. I suggest you find another church that will support this foolness or better yet, find another venue and not a church."

Dama ko sa bawat salitang binibitawan niya ay may tunog ng pagkakainsulto at inis. Nagbaba ako ng tingin ngunit pansin ko sa gilid ko si Tal na balak pang magsalita. Walang isip na hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at pinisil. Muli niya akong tiningnan at binigyan ng nagtatakhang ekspresyon.

"'Wag," bulong ko.

Pero as usual, hindi siya nakinig.

"But Father Quirino, hindi mo naiintindihan. Yes, we were arranged but I'm falling in love with Puri and I believe that is enough to get your blessings."

What the hell is he doing?

Rinig ko naman ang pagtawa ni Father. "Now, you decided you're in love with her? Come on, Mr. Arvante, alam nating dalawa na hindi ako tanga. Pasensya na, pero hindi ko kayo mapapayagan na magpakasal dito sa simbahan."

"Pero Father kasi—" Hindi na ako pinatapos pa sa pagsasalita ni Father Quirino.

"Pasensya na, buo na ang desisyon ko."

Tatayo na sana ako nang mapansin si Tal na nakaupo pa rin at tila walang balak na tumayo.

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo?" bulong ko.

Hindi naman siya sumagot, subalit tumayo na lang siya at inayos ang pagkakabutones ng kaniyang suot na button down shirt. "We'll be back, Father Quirino. And I will be expecting yes as an answer the next time we meet."

Battalion

"Then why did you tell him we only know each other for three weeks?"

"Sinabi mo rin naman three weeks, ah! Bakit mo ako sinisisi?"

Yup, we're having an argument. Again. Actually, I was the first one who started our argument, I'm going to admit that but she was the one who caused it! Kung hindi niya lang talaga sinabi na three weeks then probably nakikipag-usap pa rin kami kay Father Quirino ngayon.

"Lagi ba kayong nag-aaway ng ganito?"

We stopped arguing and slowly looked at the person in front of us. Dr. Polina, our couple therapy counselor. I almost forgot her presence in the middle of our argument, Puri pulls some kind of energy on me that I only waste it on her and forget other things.

"Dr. Polina, you have to understand that we only just met three—"

"Three weeks, I know. And I also happen to know that you are to be wedded soon. Alam ko ang facts tungkol sa relationship ninyo but what I need to know are the opinions or feelings that you have in this relationship."

I squinted my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I want you to be open; not to me but to each other. In this space, I want you two to speak your mind and not lay out the truths. For one, what are you expecting from this session? Or better yet, what outcomes do you expect after our sessions? Let's start with you, Puri."

"Ako na agad? Ahm, okay. Ine-expect ko na after ng sessions natin na si Battalion ay magiging considerate na sa ibang tao at hindi lang sa sarili niya. I also expect na hindi na siya magiging ignorante at hindi na rin siya maninisi ng ibang tao sa mga mali niya."

"Are you serious?" I asked her with a deadpan face. She really wants to be petty right now? So be it. "Fine, my turn. I am expecting that after many sessions of this therapy, Puri will start acting her own age and stop being stubborn. Oh, and I am also expecting that before our wedding, she can fix her attitude so that my image will not be doomed when I run for election."

"Sinasabi mo bang immature ako?!"

"Is it not obvious?"

Puri let out a loud exhale. "Ang gag—"

"Ohhhkay, let me intervene," said Dr. Polina. "First, I am sorry, Tal, because I will not be able to fix Puri's attitude before your wedding because this counseling is not about fixing your attitude, it's about reflecting our feelings, our perception of this relationship. This is about understanding each other and what we can bring into this relationship. Self-reflect and when we're done with that, I want you to reflect into this relationship too."

"Then what are we paying for if we're just going to do all the work?"

She didn't answer, she only looked at Puri as if she wanted her to answer. "Puri, you've been going to therapy sessions with Dr. Rhyme for many years now, correct?" Puri nodded. "Why do you need her to counsel you?"

"Well, kaya ko naman mag-self reflect kahit before pa ng therapy pero I believe may mga bagay akong hindi alam sa sarili ko na sa sessions ko lang kay Dr. Rhyme nar-realize. Despite us having the need to self-reflect, bibigyan muna tayo ng idea ng therapist natin kung anong parte natin ang dapat i-reflect."

"Where are you going with this?" I asked Dr. Polina with a hint of suspicion in my voice.

She just smiled. "Thank you, Puri. After this session ends, magbibigay ako ng assignment sa inyo."

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Puri but she was the first one to roll her eyes before looking away. She's still pissed but so am I! So I did the exact thing she did without her noticing.

"I want you two to list down the things that you notice about yourself and you notice about your partner that you believe that needs some reflection. Then, for our next session, babasahin natin 'yon and we will hear each other's thoughts. Is it alright?"

"Yes, pero pwede ko ba ilagay sa listahan na kailangan niya mag-reflect sa nakakairita niyang mukha?"

Dr. Polina smiled mildly and chortled her laugh. "You can put anything you desire to talk about in our next session. Oh, and I have another assignment!" By this time, she was smiling widely, which made me scared for a reason. "I want you both to last in our next session without arguing, that's all!"

That's all? It would take a miracle for that to happen!