Have you ever had a reoccurring nightmare? I've had multiple reoccurring nightmares about life, death, love, and betrayal.

But only one of those reoccurring dreams had become a reality. Or maybe it was a look into the future that the universe was giving me, but I was just too blind to see it. It was a warning about something that would easily become on of the worst mistakes of my life. I had let Yuri let me go...

My reoccurring nightmare in Barcelona, where Yuri and I went our separate ways after the Grand Prix Final. Yuri had fallen into a major slump and let his insecurities catch back up to him. And he fell like a bird being shot out of the sky, or an angel falling out of heaven.

The way back to Hasestsu was the worst part. It was painful that neither of us could work up the courage to even get a word out of each other. The press was everywhere and Yuri was having a struggle answering all the questions they were throwing at him at once. I had to get him out fo there as fast as physically possible.

We try to hide our true feelings from the world, but to be honest, what do we really know about ourselves anyway? In real life we have broken up fragments of ourselves, each missing fragment when put in the right place, reveal something else new about ourselves. They all feel so close to us, but yet so far away...

I guess Yuri was one of the missing pieces that I needed in order to make me whole. Now he feels so far away, but yet so close all the same and I can't stand it!

The world is full of unanswered questions and unresolved mysteries that no one can answer until they find out for themselves. Because every and each answer can and will be different from the other. nd life shall and will keep creating more and more questions as we grow up a bit more and learn more about ourselves and the unfamiliar world around us.

Life and Love, those are the two things I've proceeded to neglect fro over 20 years. Noe that I've finally gotten ahold of the two things I've been trying to keep away from me for so long, they were ripped out of my grasp once again. The blade that keeps me away from those things was set back into my hands after Yuri had left and now I can't seem to let it go.

I don't hate Yuri, in fact, I think I love him more than I thought I did. I've tried to think that maybe if I didn;t meet Yuri that I wouldn't be feeling this way, but that only makes my feelings stronger. Maybe it was too early for the both of us. Maybe I pushed him too hard into believing that he had to love me in order to be together. Even though against the opposing evidence, the little voice at the back of my head is telling me otherwise.

Yuri really is something, isn't he?

Ever since that night Yurio has come to terms with his sexuality and started dating Otabek Atlin. How the angsty teenager managed to get that one I have no idea. Add that to the list of unanswered questions.

I have returned to the ice and I'm using my heartbreak as a way to make my message stronger. A story of a blossoming love and an inescapable heartbreak that no one could see coming.

I wish I could make it easy for the both of us, I wish I could make it easy fro the both of us to love each other. And I'm still at the part where I'm looking for the right word to say. I'm slowly drifting away from the reality I once knew.

(I had to find some way to work this into here)

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I was sitting on the couch reading a book while Lilia and Yakov were arguing over which steps they should take for Yurio. I had made some hot cocoa and was sipping on it slowly in order to not burn my tongue when Yurio nearly kicked the door off its hinges.

"Viktor turn the TV on!" he yelled skidding to a halt in front of me, his hands on his knees and back arched.

"Why should I do that?" I ask tilting my book downwards.

"Just do it!"

I go away from my book and turn the TV on.

"Now turn to channel 256!"

Yurio beckoned Lilia and Yakov to the couch and sat in between both of them.

"And now we shall welcome Yuri Katsuki to the stage. He is representing Japan and will be playing a piano cover of Lost my Music and God Knows."

"Oh good. I made it here just in time." Yurio says sighing in relief.

The audience clapped as Yuri walked onto the stage and took his place in front of the piano.

He waited for absolute silence to fall over the room before he placed his fingers over the keys. He took in a breath and began pressing the keys to the song "Lost My Music."

"I didn't know the boy could play." Lilia says setting down her teacup. she turns to look at me and asks "Did you know about this Viktor?"

I shrug because I didn't know about this. He must have took this up after skating.

Yurio was kind of singing along but everyone was looking at him funny.

"What? I wanted to know the song before hand! So I may or may not have looked up the song and listened to the english version on repeat 22 times...Or 43..."

Yurio kind of shut up for the rest of the piece besides from humming under his breath.

"I still, I still I love you , been waiting , waiting forever. I still, I still I love you. Will we ever meet again?" Yurio mumbled under his breath.

"Who do you love Yurio?" Lilia asked in a motherly way.

"Beka obviously." Yurio responded before the both of them began paying attention to the performance.

I payed more attention to the performance than I did to the things around me.

The way his fingers flew across the keyboard almost effortlessly in great synchronization. His brow was furrowed and his teeth were gritted against each other. Beads of sweat slowly ran down his face. The audience was as entrances by his performance as I was. All I could do was stare in awe as he continued to play his song.

He finally stopped his song and the audience began to clap. Yurio did a little whistle and I clapped even though I knew good and well that he couldn't hear me.

He waited for silence to fall over the area once again before resting his fingers on the keys.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

His fingers began moving at a fast pace with the music that he was covering.

"God knows that I would follow you if that is what you wanted, take me into all your darkest shady and you'll see that I'm even stronger than you could know..." Yuri slowly began singing with the music. "God knows that I am standing here and you could disappear, slipping right over the edge the future. If I had my way, we'd be together forever. Eternally god bless..."

His fingers ran across the keys in perfect sync. He had a smile on his face as tears slowly began running down his face. They bounced onto the piano keys as Yurio sang slowly along with him.

I began crying myself, but out of happiness. It eased my heart to know that Yuri was still thinking of me as well.

"I've made up my mind!" I say getting up and looking Yakov in the eyes. "I'll start training right away!"

Everyone looks at me in concern.

Yurio looks away with his face on his palm.

"How bothersome."

Yakov "smiled" and got up.

"Looks like we have to get you back in the game Viktor. It took a while but I think that this performance inspired you."

Lilia had some type of smile on her face as she looked at me, clutching her notepad.

"Do you want me to choreograph their programs back to back? Because I am capable of doing so." Lilia said.

Yakov sighed. "You were always great at multitasking weren't you Lilia?"

"I haven't changed THAT much Yakov." Lilia informed him in a scolding way. "I'm still the same Lilia you met when we're young."

"Wait, Yakov used to be young once?" Yurio asked, a joking smile on his face.

"Didn't we all?" Lilia asked. "Of course the true beautiful ones are the ones that can walk off any type of conflict with confidence."

"I'm getting a sense of Deja Vu from that line." Yurio said looking at his phone, utterly focused.

"It's just your imagination." Lilia said, returning to her tea. She frowned when she realized it was cold but continued to drink it anyway. She absolutely refuses to waste "perfectly good tea", as she says.

"Hey, Viktor? I think you might want to see this."

I look up at Yurio and move out the way just in time to see a phone hurdling at me.

"Was that really necessary Yurio? You're lucky Otterbox cases are hard to break through."

"Someone sent you a message." Yurio says. "Now read."

I pick up his phone and look at the words.

Username: Unknown

"Who the hell is this supposed to be? Saeran from Mystic Messenger?" I ask jokingly.

"Just shut up and read!"

'Tick Tock Nikiforov.I would suggest that you stay away from Japan.'

'Unless you want to get hurt.'

'This isn't Viktor you dolt.'

Unknown is now Offline.

"I don't think we should make a big fuss about it." I say tossing Yurio's phone back to him.

I get up and go to my phone which has been on the charger.

"Siri, google flights to Japan."

'I'll get on that.'