I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing. But it wasn't the usual ringtone, nor the ones I assigned for different friends and family members. No, this one was special, for it was the one I assigned to Levi's contact. Only Levi's contact. Meaning...

My Levi. He was calling.

My sleep-addled brain was operating slowly and with great reluctance, and I could feel the rust and cobwebs making way for the movement of my mind's gears, slow-moving as they were after being woken up so abruptly. 

But when I recognized what was playing, I immediately began feeling around the nightstand for my phone with a heavy, clumsy hand, knocking things over in my search. As soon as my fingers found purchase on the device, I brought it close to my face and blinked my bleariness away to see the screen clearly to first check that I wasn't making it up, that I wasn't mistaken, that it was Levi.

His name and contact photo were displayed proudly on the screen as the ringtone continued. So I wasn't wrong. I wasted no more time. I answered the phone. I didn't even stop to consider the possibility that it was someone else, that someone had to call me in place of him.

"Levi," I said, pressing the phone to my ear. "Hi."

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said, his voice low and quiet and soft. I couldn't help but smile at the greeting as I eased back onto the pillow, relieved that it was him. It was really him. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well, until I was woken up," I teased gently, glancing at the bedside alarm clock. 4:11 am.

"Ah," he said, sounding somewhat embarrassed, "I guess it is early for you. Sorry."

"Don't be," I said. "This is the best thing to wake up to. Other than you physically being here, of course."

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied. "I'm trying to come back as soon as possible."

"Don't go being mutinous, now," I said through a sleepy smile. "I don't need to get a call because you went AWOL. Or... wait. What is the worse one?"

"Desertion, love," he said. "You can go AWOL without deserting."

"Oh," I said. "Yeah, that's what I meant. That one. I don't need a call about you deserting and getting yourself into trouble. But that might make for a good love story."

"Would it?"

"Think about it," I said. "If someone directly disobeys their orders to fight for what is right, just to be with the one they love..."

"Uh huh," he said, unconvinced. "If you say so."

It was in that moment I remembered something. It was something so simple, so trivial. And yet it had me smiling widely.

"It's almost your birthday," I said happily.

"It's over a month away," he protested. "But I probably won't be able to call again before then anyway."

"That's ok," I chimed, far too used to there being long stretches of time between letters, between texts, and between calls. "I'll just say it now! Happy birthday, my love!"

He chuckled, the sound sounding extra low and raspy with the feedback through the phone. "Thanks, (Y/n)." There was a noise from his end. It sounded like someone else, a deep authoritative voice barking out orders. "Shit," he muttered. "I have to go."

"Oh," I said sadly. "Already?"

More time, I thought. I want more time. We're never given enough time.

"It was a damn miracle we could even talk this long," he said, as though that would make me feel better. "I'll call when I can. But the situation is getting worse here, so I don't know for sure when that will be."

"Ok," I said. There was little else for me to do but accept it, right? It wasn't like I could affect anything from way the hell over here. "Just... be safe Levi, please. I'm still waiting for you."

"I don't intend on breaking that promise I made," he told me.

"Good, then," I said, thankful that he was not leaving right away, that he was adding precious seconds to our stolen time together. For that was all we'd ever wanted: time. And it was what life was stingiest about giving us. It always had been, ever since we were children, and it remained as such, even now. "Just get here as quick as you can while still taking care of yourself. Ok?"

"Of course," he assured me. "I... uh. I miss you. A lot."

"I miss you too," I responded. "And I love you, more than anything."

"I love you," he said. "I won't make you wait too much longer. I... I promise."

That made me smile and my heart grow warm. "Goodbye, my love."

---

I awoke with a start.

Something seemed familiar. Something seemed strange. There was something familiar about this situation, but I was in bed. I was alright, I was fine, I was... no, not safe. There was something wrong. What woke me up?

I felt a strange sense of... was it déjà vu? No, it couldn't be, because... Or could it?

I couldn't make heads nor tails of what I felt, of what was happening.

Didn't I wake up already?

I couldn't have, and yet... I felt like I had.

I rolled over in bed, reaching towards the nightside table. More specifically, I reached for my phone. I could very easily tell that it was still morning. It might have even been the witching hour for as eerie as everything felt right now.

I caught a glance at the clock before even touching my phone, and my hand stilled. It read 4:13 am in bold, bright numbers.

But... wasn't it just 4:11? Well of course it was, that's how time works. But how could I have fallen back asleep so soon? And why would I have woken up again so soon? And what woke me up?

I tapped my phone screen. There were a few notifications, and I rubbed my eyes with the heel of one hand to rid them of sleep before lifting the phone in my other hand towards my face to check them. A few social media notifications waited for me to check them, along with news updates and a pop-up letting me know I had an alarm set for several hours from now so I could get ready for work. There was even a text from yesterday afternoon that I just had not responded to yet because I hadn't wanted to: a text from a pushy coworker who very obviously was into me, wanting to go to dinner together sometime despite me saying no several times.

Right. That all made sense. Everything there was in order. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

But the one up top...

One missed call. Unknown number. Spam likely.

What the hell...?

Wasn't I just talking with Levi on the phone? The conversation definitely lasted more than two minutes, and I would have for sure noticed the secondary call come up if only for me to ignore it because of who I was actually talking to. Regardless... I'd have noticed another call.

Another notification popped up over the one regarding the spam caller.

One new voicemail. Spam likely.

"What the fuck?"

I unlocked my phone, going right to my recent calls. The most recent answered call it had logged was... with my dad. Earlier today. Er, yesterday. Whatever. He'd called sometime after dinner, and I'd answered, and we'd talked for a while about our days, our weeks, and about our upcoming lunch date to catch up. But... but that couldn't be right.

I tried refreshing the app. I restarted my phone. Seconds ticked by like minutes. Everything else on my phone worked perfectly, and yet... there was still nothing from Levi.

But how was that possible? I'd taken the call, I'd talked to him, it would show up in my recent calls log. It was... this was...

My heart leapt up into my throat. What was happening?

"What the hell," I breathed out, not daring to believe that I'd made it up. There was no way.

Something, I don't know what, urged me to check that voicemail. The one from the unknown number. "Telemarketers at this hour," I mused weakly, more so to convince myself that's what it was more than anything else. "What a pain in the ass, huh?"

Yet something deep in my heart didn't believe that to be true. Not even a little bit.

Sleep was calling to me. There were so few precious hours of morning left before I needed to be up for work. Logic was failing me, clearly. Perhaps I would wake up in the morning and this would all be a weird nightmare. But no, I was awake. This my heart knew to be true, completely and irrevocably.

My hand was shaking, and I struggled to focus on the words on the screen as I navigated to my voicemails. I struggled to find the nerve to finally press on it and play it. But I did.

There was nothing for the first second or so. And then, a breath.

"-(Y/n)?"

That was Erwin's voice, the first half of his question being cut off. Wherever he was, it was noisy as hell and the first thought that came to my mind was that Levi was in trouble and Erwin had to call me using his phone to give me the news. 

I could hear voices - many voices, blurring together into an incoherent mumble - coming from every which way from the small speaker and I plugged my other ear for whatever good that might do to help me focus. My eyebrows furrowed and I shook my head when it became clear I wouldn't be able to decipher anything being said. But still I tried, valiantly doing my best to pick out any amount of reason amidst the nonsense streaming through the speaker.

"Hush, Erwin," I heard Amaya hiss. "This isn't about us!"

"(Y/n)," Levi finally said, and I audibly gasped at the sound of his voice. Goodness, I had been losing all hope of hearing him. "It must be morning for you. Good morning, sweetheart. Listen, I have to keep this quick, but I just needed to talk to you somehow. Things are getting worse here."

An explosion. It sounded close. My heart leapt into my throat, and everything seemed to stop. Time slowed. My heart raced. My body went numb. My brain could focus only on what was coming from the phone. My every thought was static. My blood ran cold.

And... never had I been more afraid in my entire life.

"I know this isn't my number, I found this phone in the building we're hiding out in. I don't know what's going to happen, but I needed to talk to you... fuck, just one more time."

I had missed his call. This was a voicemail. He could very well be dead right now, and all he had wanted to do in his final moments was talk to me, and I missed it.

I had missed it.

I had missed my last chance to talk to him.

No! Don't think like that!

But I couldn't help it.

He might be dead. He might be dead. He might be-

"The fighting's worse than anyone thought," Levi had continued. "You know I don't..." A sigh. "You know I don't ever think like this, but no one is sure if we're going to make it."

"Oh, god," I gasped, my eyes watering now. I couldn't see a damn thing with the tears blurring my vision and all my attempts to blink them away failed. I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose to try to stall the flow of tears.

It didn't work.

"I need you to hear it from me. I might not be coming home. And I'm... (Y/n), I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I might not keep my promise."

"Please," I murmured to the dark, empty room around me. "God, please no..."

"I want to marry you," he said. "More than anything. You know that. But there's nothing else to be done. Just know..." A pause.

"Levi," I heard Erwin say. "We have to..."

"Just give him a minute," Amaya said. "Come on. He'll catch up."

"Just know," Levi finally continued, "I will fight like hell to get back to you. And I won't stop until I get to you or die trying."

"No, no, no," I muttered over and over again, the words blending together into a seamless train of syllables.

"I have to go," he said. "I love you, (Y/n). That will never change, no matter what happens here. You're a brat but... I'll always be yours."

"You can't do this," I said uselessly.

"I'm sorry," he said, as though responding right to me. "There's nothing more to be done but to fight."

"You promised," I said, a whimper cutting through the words.

"In this life or the next," he said quietly, as though hesitant, "I'll return to you."

"Levi, please," I said through my sobs, "you told me... you said... Quick as you can..."

"Quick as I can," he said at the same time I did.

That did it. I started to bawl.

"I love you," he said quickly.

"Levi," Amaya cried out. "We're out of time!"

"We need to go!"

And then it cut out.

I couldn't be sure how long I stayed in bed and cried. The only indication that any time passed at all was when my alarm went off, only for me to turn it off.

I didn't go into work that day.

I didn't answer my phone.

I kept replaying the voicemail.

I couldn't get the thought that he might be hurt... alone... injured... or even dead... out of my mind.

My heart had shattered into a million pieces.

And I didn't know what to do.

---

There were, at this point, many things that I knew for sure, but there were far many more things that I did not. There were plenty of things that I could merely only speculate on, which was terribly frustrating alone. What made it worse – far worse – was the fact that all of which I did not know was what I really wanted to know about.

They say ignorance is bliss, but only if you are unaware of what you are ignorant of. If you are ignorant not only in the information but also of knowing what information you lack, then yes, ignorance is bliss. However, if you are not ignorant in knowing which information you lack, then ignorance is hell.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

It's like when one is a child, and is ignorant that their parents are actually Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. There is no doubt in the mind of a child that those characters are real and that they bring presents, goodies, and money in exchange for good behavior or a baby tooth. Their ignorance is bliss, for it keeps them youthful and innocent and ensures they continue to believe in them.

It is only when a seed of doubt is planted that the nature of this ignorance changes: like a child in their class saying they know Santa isn't real, or the child sneaking downstairs on Christmas Eve only to see their parents standing by the tree setting presents down or eating the cookies meant for Santa, or they wake up to their parent taking the tooth out from under their pillow, a dollar bill or two in hand...

When they question, when they know all is not as it should be, they remain ignorant, but no longer is that ignorance bliss. No longer will they have faith in those stories. No longer will they believe in those characters, not wholeheartedly.

If they are not told the truth, they remain ignorant, but suspicious.

If they are told, then no more are they ignorant at all. They are, however, perhaps a bit more skeptical of their parents.

That's nearly how I felt right now. I knew something was up, but only bits and pieces. It was as though I walked downstairs and caught someone eating the cookies meant only for Santa Claus. I didn't know the full story – maybe they were just having a few, perhaps – but I still felt that something was up. Not everything was as it seemed.

Right now, based on what information I had and what I did not, I knew that there was more to know. My ignorance was not willful, nor was it blissful.

It was hell.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

What I knew is as follows: I missed Levi's call. I wouldn't be able to just call that number back and expect an answer back. It's been nearly full two years since he left. The situation overseas was ever worsening, meaning that they were remaining there indefinitely. Each and every extra day added on was another day of me not knowing if he was even alive.

Until his call, that is. So as of 4 AM that morning, he was alive.

And I'd received an email earlier, too, as though I didn't have enough to think about already.

It'd been sent to all the families of the soldiers in his unit, and it... didn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence in the situation.

I could so clearly see it in my mind for as many times as I'd read it already. If I closed my eyes... I could see it, printed just before my mind's eye, stained there in ink I couldn't cover.

Families and Friends of Unit 1-14,

On 20 November 20xx, 1-14 was involved in an incident that resulted in three soldiers who were injured in action and two soldiers who were killed in action. The soldiers' primary and secondary next of kin have already been notified. One soldier is also deemed missing in action. If and when that soldier is found, their primary and secondary next of kin will be notified.

On behalf of the Soldiers of 1-14, we send our condolences to the soldiers' families. We will hold a Memorial Ceremony for these soldiers at a time and place to be determined.

Please remember to keep the soldiers of 1-14 and all other deployed soldiers in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your continuous support.

Yeah. It wasn't the best email to receive. But at the very least... I hadn't gotten a call before the email arrived. Those soldiers injured in action and those killed in action were not Levi. Not that they knew of, to report it anyway, and... not that I knew of.

Here's what I didn't know. I didn't know exactly how bad the situation was abroad, nor did I know how bad it was before for it now to be even worse. I didn't even know what that entailed. I didn't know now if he was alright. I didn't even know if Erwin or Mike or Amaya were alright either. I didn't know when or if they would come back.

However... there was a lot I could speculate.

I just didn't want to, because my mind did it for me at night when I try to sleep. And each dream – no, nightmare was far more accurate – was worse than the last.

I'd see him die in worse and worse ways, until what woke me up last night. It was the worst one yet and I couldn't imagine how my brain might try to scare me more tonight.

I slowed in getting ready to meet with my father, for my eyes glazed over with the memory of that nightmare. The terrors replayed in my mind and slowly, each cell in my body was transported to that awful place, and every single one of my senses was focused only on it.

I closed my eyes, a quiet, involuntary whimper escaping my lips.

I couldn't stop it. My mind was already running with it.

All I could do was relive that nightmare.

---

"Levi," I said, my voice – though quiet when the single name was uttered – seemed to echo on forever.

I couldn't see anything, not yet, but I knew he was here. He was near. I could sense it. Women's intuition, perhaps? But it mattered not. He was close, and that was what mattered.

His reply came quickly. "(Y/n)."

He sounded so sure, so confident, so unlike how he did over that call where little other than hesitation and thickly veiled fear had been in his voice. Despite his bravado in that moment, I had been able to truly hear how scared he had been.

But not now.

"Where are you?" I asked into the void. "I can't see you."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes," I answered immediately. "Of course."

He didn't reply for a moment. I turned around myself in the infinite darkness, looking for something, anything. I desperately searched the infinite, all-consuming shade for any sign of him. But I was unable to discern anything in this blackest night and I was unable to even use his voice as a sign of where he was.

That was, until he spoke once more.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Levi," I said surely. "I want to see you. Tell me where you are."

And all at once, he didn't need to, for everything became illuminated by a sun. Though eclipsed, the black sun rose, and its light poured into the infinite landscape I found myself in. Everything was completely, impossibly devoid of life and substance.

It was a flat, desolate expanse but the sky far above was gorgeous. Inky black sky gave way for swirling galaxies, flowing and ebbing like currents in the ocean. Stars, linked by silver chains formed their constellations and they blinked in and out indiscriminately in patterns I could never understand.

Everything – save for one – was beyond my comprehension. That which I could understand was standing just before me, his hands in his pockets in a lazy, casual sort of way. His hair was styled as it always was, and that perfect look of indifference was etched across his face.

But as always... his eyes softened upon seeing me.

Goodness, his eyes were so beautiful here. They were that gorgeous shade of blue, at times steely and at others blue as a summer sky, but now they seemed ethereal in their glow. I could see the stars reflected in them and god, he was looking at me like I was perfect.

"Levi," I said, exhaling a relieved breath. "Look at you. I..."

"Thought I was going to look different?"

"I don't know," I said. "I've heard the military changes people."

That made him smirk, and that alone made my heart flutter. Good to know that I've still got it.

"It does," he replied. "You just don't know the extent of the damage."

"What?"

He didn't respond to that. But when next I blinked, he was suddenly a changed man, and the landscape was different. My field of view was limited, all I could see was him and he seemed to be almost in a spotlight, illuminated from above by that eclipsed sun.

He was in uniform now, and he was on foreign land. With another blink, everything was changed once more. His uniform was dirty, tattered, and torn, dirt was smudged on his face, and yet he still stood strong.

Another blink brought him now to his knees, that same uniform tattered beyond repair and his head was bowed. But all too clearly, I could see drops of blood – scarlet and shining in this eclipse – drip from his skin, running down from somewhere in his hair and dropping down into the dirt below him.

I was a rather good person, I liked to believe. I wasn't violent, and I wasn't so quick to anger that my first instinct might be to hurt another soul. As such, I didn't see blood all that often. Of course I suffered cuts here and there, needed a few stitches once, drove by a bad car accident, things like that...

So when he lifted his head and I saw the blood gushing from a head wound he'd gotten and the way it mixed with the blood of his comrades in the dirt... I nearly fainted.

But I didn't.

I was forced to watch as my field of vision increased, as his comrades... now corpses... lay sprawled in the dirt around him. A head of golden blond hair could belong only to Erwin. The man lying next to him, his body mutilated beyond belief, could only be Mike. And the woman staring lifelessly at me, eyes dry and the breath long gone from her lungs, could only be Amaya. Hundreds of other soldiers, those I could never know the names of, were around them.

I shouldn't have taken my eyes off of Levi's. It had been a mistake.

But where I expected to look into his eyes, to be grounded as I always was by the weight of his comfortable gaze meeting my own, I instead saw him as a corpse.

Something began to pool at my feet. I looked down. Blood. Far beyond where I now stood I could hear what sounded like a wave, rushing to meet the shore. The ground beneath my feet began to rumble. The blood pooled at my feet was drawn back, as water on the sand was, as a wave approached.

Out of the darkness came a wave of ruby red color and of terrifying size.

It was all I could do to look back at Levi.

No longer was he a corpse. He was standing once more, sharp blue eyes the only thing I could focus on before everything was red and I was swept away.

And then everything went dark.

---

I gripped the fabric over my heart, willing it to slow down. "Just a nightmare," I breathed out to no one in particular. "It was nothing. Just my brain trying to scare me. That's all."

I forced myself to take a deep breath in through my nose.

I forced myself to release that breath slowly through my mouth.

There was a knock on the door, and I let myself smile at the distraction. I jogged to the door, opening it quickly to reveal my dad. "Hey," I said in greeting as he let himself in.

"Afternoon," he replied. "Ready to go?"

"Mm-hm," I hummed happily. "Just need to put my shoes on."

Today, we were going to lunch! It was exciting only because we hadn't been able to just sit and talk in a long time. We usually found time to get lunch together often, but lately our schedules had been so busy that we couldn't.

Of course, we weren't that far into our outing when I got another strange phone call.

This wasn't a foreign number, however. It was...

"It's official," dad said, seeing the number. "Maybe the military. I'd answer it." I stared at him blankly, not wanting to believe it. Why would they be calling? I didn't want to know the answer, not with the way my stomach suddenly plummeted. "(Y/n), it could be about Levi."

I reached for the phone just as the waiter arrived with our food. "Excuse me," I said, brushing past him and hurrying out of the restaurant. I answered the call, pressing it to my ear as I pushed the doors to the building open and stepped outside.

"Hello?" I asked, hating how my voice was so shaky already.

"Good afternoon," the woman on the other end said cordially. "Is this (Y/n) Williams?"

"It is," I replied. "How can I..." I cleared my throat. "What is the purpose of this call?"

"We have you listed as Levi Ackerman's fiancée. Is that correct?"

"Correct," I repeated, not daring to say more.

"Are you home right now? I ask that you be somewhere comfortable before we continue."

"Yes," I lied. "I'm home."

"I regret to inform you that Mr. Ackerman has been injured in the line of duty," she told me. "We understand this comes as a shock, but just know that he was fighting for-"

"Yeah, I get that," I said, cutting her off. "Just... how... Um. What happened to him?"

"Mr. Ackerman was caught in an explosion."

"An..."

"An explosion, yes," she confirmed. "He is alive, but in critical condition. We will update you as frequently as we can."

"He's not dead," I said, my words hushed and yet somehow reaching her ears through the phone.

"Correct, she said. "As of now, he is still alive. We're working as fast as we can to get him to a medical facility but unfortunately, we did not find him right away."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He was alone," she told me. "His unit was scattered. You should have received an email regarding the soldiers in his unit that were injured or killed in action. Mr. Ackerman was the one reported missing."

"Oh, god," I said, lowering my head into my free hand.

"Ms. Williams? He is alive. Please rest assured he will receive the best care we can give."

I didn't hear what she said next. I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my own crying.

---

It wasn't long after that they released the names of those soldiers injured and killed in action by that incident.

It wasn't long after that they scheduled a memorial service for them.

It wasn't long after that when the news began spreading the news that the fighting was finally calming down after that incident.

It wasn't long after that when the bodies of those heroes were brought back home.

It wasn't long after that I attended the memorial service.

It wasn't long after returning home from the service that I went to bed, the program book resting atop my nightstand, the words within it following me into a restless slumber.

In Loving Memory of Erwin Smith and Mike Zacharias.

---

And many, many weeks later...

I awoke from a different dreamless sleep with a heavy head and groggy senses. I glanced at my clock, only to see that it was far too early to be awake on a weekend. I let out a low groan and lowered my head back to the pillow only to notice something... strange.

When I shifted my body slightly, it felt as though the mattress was... burdened by the weight of another. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. I'd long since gotten accustomed to sleeping alone in bed, the only weight against the mattress being my own. But for it to feel like it was dipping due to someone else, my body threatening to roll that way, minute though the dip was from my spot on the other side of the mattress...

It was an assuredly distinct sensation. One that I hadn't felt since... since...

I lifted my head once more and looked over my shoulder.

There was another body in this bed, one that had my heart leaping up into my throat.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment, allowing me to take all this in.

For there, asleep and breathing gently just on the other side of the bed, was...

"Levi?"

---

You met in your youth.

Miraculously, despite life's best attempts to tear you apart, you remained close. You found your way back to each other. And much more incredibly... a romance bloomed.

Very much like those lovers of the Summer Triangle, doomed to be apart yet always fighting to be together... Yet very much unlike those lovers, you have not needed the assistance of the magpies to reach each other. Rather, you built your own bridge across the Milky Way to reach each other, time and time again.

You met in your youth and got to grow up together into your own people, molded by your experiences and working towards your futures.

You have grown, and you have learned, and you have loved.

Paving the way for your future alongside your life partner... what else could you want?

Perhaps... to grow old alongside him?

Many friendships born early do not stand the test of time. But yours has, and it has blossomed into something more. Much more.

You've experienced lows so devastating your heart broke. There were times you thought him lost, injured, even dead in the mud of a place so far you couldn't ever find him.

Yet you've experienced highs so incredible that they make all the heartbreak worth it.

The hard part is over. Or is it?

Only time will tell.

Let us continue.

note: hi hi! here ends part 2 of the story! the final act is quickly approaching~

I think this goes without saying (and I think I said it already), but there will be some parts in this book that will be loosely based on what happens in the manga (and ofc, as the anime comes out). I feel like anything AoT related just has an automatic spoiler warning so uh... beware if you're not caught up? ah well.

anyway, hope you enjoyed this one. thank you all so much for reading and btw, I'll be redoing my other stories New Home (Legend of Zelda, Link x R) and Blue and White (Link x OC) so if you want to read them before they get redone, go right ahead! thank you very much for supporting this story, and I'll see you all in the next one! <3