December 23rd:

"Almost ready in here?" Levi asked, stepping into the bedroom to check on me.

"In the bathroom," I called, though I'm sure that was his next guess as to my whereabouts. My assumption was correct, as within the next instant he crossed through the bedroom and stepped right through the open door to the bathroom.

I was still getting ready, but I'm sure to him my progress seemed rather limited. I was leaning over at the sink putting the finishing touches on my hair and makeup... and standing in only my underwear and bra.

So yes, to a man, I'm sure my progress seemed to be minimal at most.

But shit, if I didn't look good as hell right now...

"Not that I mind the view," he said, cutting through my thoughts easily and leaning against the doorframe in a casual sort of way, "but are you getting dressed anytime soon?"

"Just a second," I said absentmindedly, smiling only once the final detail was in place and perfect. I turned to look at him only after checking how I looked in the mirror once more. When I deemed myself presentable, I smiled brightly, proud of how the look turned out. "How do I look?"

"Half-naked," he responded curtly, immediately, and mercilessly.

"I meant my..." I sighed. "Never-mind."

He chuckled, stepping close and tucking one hand beneath my chin. His eyes weren't focused on my body, on the fact that yes, I was half-naked. No, he was looking into my eyes after letting them trail slowly over all my features.

"I'm only teasing," he said quietly. "You look gorgeous."

"Thank you," I said, now satisfied. I leaned in close and he met me eagerly as I pecked him on the lips lightly and sweetly. I stepped around him and went into the bedroom. I picked up the dress laid out neatly on the bed, admiring it for only a moment before preparing to put it on.

Tonight, we were attending a Christmas party hosted by my workplace. I couldn't exactly deny the invitation, not like I wanted to. There were so few instances in my life that I could coerce Levi into dressing up, and it was always fun for me to be able to as well.

And what a stunning pair we made. He was in a suit that showed off just how toned his body was and I knew that by himself, he'd be the best piece of eye candy at the party. This would be my first time introducing him to any of my coworkers, and I just could not wait to see the reactions they'd have to him.

Because holy shit, he was hot.

This wasn't exactly a new discovery for me, I'd known this for a while. But being able to show him off in a setting like this... I could have some fun with it, that was for sure.

I'd gone a few weeks ago with Meg to shop around for a dress for this party, and the one we picked out was stunning. We'd found it in a simple boutique in the mall, but it was as though it was custom tailored for me with the perfect color that complimented my skin tone, showed off my finest assets, and looked best with my hairstyle and shoes of choice for a party like this.

It was perfect.

I stepped into it, drawing it up over my body. I slid my arms through the sleeves and adjusted it, so it sat just so on my body. I turned away from Levi, sending him a cheeky look over my shoulder. "Care to zip it up for me?"

Wordlessly, he obliged, deft fingers getting to work gently tugging the zipper upwards. When it was in place he stepped away and I did a little spin for him. "What do you think?"

"It's... nice," he said, embarrassment clear on his features.

I giggled. The fact that I could make this man bashful, of all things...

"Just nice?"

He swallowed hard as his eyes traveled downwards and then back up to meet my eyes. "You're beautiful."

I looked down with a shy smile, suddenly taken aback by the weight of his words. He hadn't said that it, the dress, was beautiful, but me. As though everything I was wearing, and my makeup, and my hair were all just complimentary to just me.

This man could be so incredibly sweet sometimes.

And when I could coax this kind of behavior out of him, well...

"Thank you," I said quietly, meeting his gaze. His eyes were warm, the usual iciness of his gaze melted away and showing the full force of his love. "Let me just get my shoes on and I'll be ready."

"You'll need a coat too, dumbass," he said, though not unkindly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll meet you by the door in a minute."

He went off, leaving the room while I grabbed my shoes – heels I didn't wear often – from the closet. In my other hand I grabbed my bag, already all set with everything I'd need for the night; my cards, my phone, and everything else I usually carried with me.

Slinging it over my shoulder I made my way to the door. Using Levi's shoulder as something strong to hold onto, I put my shoes on, and took my coat from him once they were on. Now ready, Levi took the doorknob into one hand and offered his other arm for me to hold. I accepted gratefully, looping my arm through his as he pulled the door open.

The drive to the party was rather quiet. Gentle, silent snowfall rushed past the car's windows, and I watched it happily. Holiday music poured from the radio and though Levi found the songs annoying, I sang along to them, hoping that he might get into some kind of holiday spirit by the end of the night.

As we drove through downtown, I watched last-minute shoppers dash to and from the storefronts searching for the best deals they could in their search for gifts for their loved ones. "I'm happy I finished all my shopping weeks ago," I said. "I can't imagine being this stressed out before the holiday."

"I don't see how you'd forget to," Levi said, glancing briefly at what I was watching.

The spectacle continued to unfold before me, though it wasn't all chaotic. There were certainly plenty of families and couples walking together simply enjoying their time together. Maybe that wasn't so bad an idea.

I could imagine walking down these streets window shopping with Levi, hand in hand, underneath the twinkling lights strung up across the street. Wreaths adorned every lamppost, and everywhere I looked there were lights and bows and reminders of the season.

I continued to people-watch for the rest of the ride, and soon enough we pulled into the parking lot. "Don't even think about getting out," Levi said, opening his door before I even had a chance to unbuckle my seatbelt.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched him hurry to close his door, round the car, and reach my door. He opened it, offering his hand to me. I took his hand in mine and let him help me out of the car. Before going too far I pressed a light, quick kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, baby," I said as he closed the door behind me. I looped my arm through his and we started to make our way towards the building. Already, the lot was full, but it wasn't like we were terribly late; it seemed like everyone wanted to get here early to get in the boss man's good graces. "Did I tell you how good you look tonight?"

Levi clicked his tongue, clearly embarrassed, and looked away. "No."

"You look incredibly handsome tonight, my love," I said, leaning against him lightly as we walked. "You'll be a real heartbreaker in there. Of course, I do have a lot of single coworkers... but you won't leave me for any of them, would you?"

"Never," he mumbled, still too embarrassed to look at me.

I laughed a little and decided to ease up on him for now. "Just try to relax and have a good time," I said to him as we neared the door. "I'll be by your side the whole night."

---

"(Y/n)," one of my favorite coworkers said excitedly when she saw me. "Oh my god, hi!"

"Hi Val," I greeted happily.

"I was wondering when you'd get your ass here," she said. "If I had to keep listening to everyone kiss Rogers' ass, I was going to cry."

"Well, aren't you happy your hero is here?" I asked playfully, stepping away from Levi to accept her hug. As soon as she let me go Levi had a hand around my waist, impatiently pulling me back towards him. Honestly. For as much as he hated PDA, he certainly liked keeping me as close to his side as possible. Still, I didn't complain. Why would I?

"Oh," she said, as though finally noticing Levi, "is this who I think it is?"

"Depends on who you think it is," I teased.

"Valerie," she said in introduction, holding her hand towards Levi. "Nice to meet you!"

"Levi," he responded, shaking her hand.

"You don't happen to have any brothers, do you?"

He seemed confused by the question. "No."

"Shame. And you're not willing to share him, are you (Y/n)?"

"Nope," I said, shaking my head and wrapping both arms around his upper arm. "Not at all. He's all mine."

The words embarrassed Levi and he looked towards the far wall of the room, fighting to keep it from showing on his face. "Cute," Val said. "Well, if you want to meet her, my date is currently trying to try one of everything at the food table."

"You got yourself someone?"

"No," she laughed. "It's my sister. I didn't want to come alone so I dragged her here. She's a sucker for holiday parties so it works out."

She began leading the way to the snack table, and we fell into step a few paces behind her. "See?" I asked, looking at Levi. "This isn't so bad."

He glanced over at me. "I'm all yours, huh?"

"Didn't you know that already? Or shall I remind you later?"

His smirk told me all that I needed to know.

---

December 24th:

For all intents and purposes, Christmas Eve was really our Christmas. For my family, anyway. I had plans for tomorrow, and though we'd be spending some time Christmas morning with Levi's family, the afternoon and evening were both free.

Because my family still wanted to see us for the holiday, I came up with a compromise and we all got together today. We'd only just got here, and after all our greetings and after putting all our presents for the family under the tree, we all continued the movie marathon they were having.

They'd been in the middle of Home Alone, and Eren really wanted to finish it before the family did anything else and so some room was made for us, and we all got comfortable as the movie continued.

"Why do you suppose Eren's such a fan of this movie?" I asked Levi. "It's his favorite holiday film."

"Because he's a violent little shit?"

I couldn't help but laugh, earning a quick shush from Eren. Levi's eyes narrowed at the boy, and he set an arm around my shoulders to pull me to lean against him. I had no reason not to, so I cozied up at his side. "I think you're exactly right," I whispered to him.

By the time the movie ended, Eren was much happier now that he'd seen his favorite and that made everyone a little happier knowing they didn't have to deal with an attitude from him today. Mom invited me to come help her and Mikasa bake some cookies and prepare some gingerbread house kits so we could build them, leaving the boys to continue lazing about on the couch.

Levi for the most part was rather content doing this; while not wanting to be away from my side, he figured that he probably wouldn't have to talk much if they were all watching a movie. I only wished our baking time didn't turn into a gossip session. As I readied the cookie dough, Mikasa began making frosting and mom readied the gingerbread kits.

"I was thinking that we can pair up to do these," mom said with a smile, "and make a competition of it!"

"Judging what?" I asked. "Structural integrity?"

"I was thinking whichever one looks best," she said.

"Do we have an impartial panel of judges?"

"Oh," she said, "maybe we can, tomorrow! When the rest of the family comes over, maybe they can vote for their favorite!"

"Sounds fun," I said. "I'm in."

"Is there a prize?" Mikasa asked.

"Hmm," mom contemplated. "I don't know. Any ideas?"

"I think cash would be the easiest," I suggested. "Wouldn't it? We'll never agree on anything else, I don't think."

"I got a gift card for the pub down the street from the university," mom said. "Maybe that?"

"Levi and I don't live here," I said. "If we win it's quite the drive for us."

"True," she said. "Hm."

"Is that how we're pairing up?" Mikasa asked.

"Actually," mom said, "I was thinking we could switch it up."

"Oh, boy," I said, smiling as it dawned on me that Levi wouldn't be the happiest to hear about this. "Give us the lineup, then."

"Well, you two girls would make a great team," mom said. Mikasa and I shared a look, and a nod. Of all my family members, mom was opinionated, Eren was stubborn, dad was clumsy, and so Mikasa seemed to be the safest bet for a partner, considering she was like Levi: damn well perfect at everything she did.

"I'd say Eren and Levi would be a funny team," I said, "but that'd leave you and dad and that's not fair."

"True, true," mom laughed. "Fine. Me and Levi, then?"

"Might be good bonding for Levi and dad," I proposed.

"I think so, too," mom agreed. "Levi and dad, me and Eren."

"So," I said, "this impartial board of judges. Is Aunt Cathy going to be involved? Because she somehow knows whenever I mess up. She'll be able to tell mine even if it's left nameless."

"(Y/n)," mom chided, "that's not true!"

"Deny it all you want," I said, "but it is true. She hates me."

"She does not," mom sighed. "She's harsh, but it's tough love."

"Doesn't feel like love at all," I muttered.

"You won't be here, will you?" Mikasa asked me quietly.

"Oh, that's right," mom said. "You aren't coming by tomorrow."

"That's right," I said. "Maybe, if we find, the time, but tomorrow is Levi's birthday and it's important we spend time with his family too."

She huffed. "Just hurry up and get engaged so we can start having holidays at your place and you won't need to split your time like this."

I rolled my eyes, but my smile didn't leave my face. "I've got no plans to propose anytime soon," I told her.

"And what about Levi? Surely he wants to marry you?"

"Eventually," I said. "We're just enjoying being together."

"Being engaged only puts a title on it," mom argued. "It's not like you'll love each other differently."

"I know," I said, "but still. I think we're both just waiting for the perfect time."

"You started dating in your freshman year of college, didn't you?"

"Mm-hm," I confirmed, perfecting the dough. "November 20th was our anniversary."

"I was half-expecting you two to be engaged years ago," mom admitted. "I've no idea what you're waiting for."

"We're not waiting on anything, really," I tried to convince her. "Just for the time to feel right."

"Well I'd like you to have your wedding while I'll still look nice in a dress," she said with a laugh.

"Right, right," I said, playing along with a smile of my own. "Looking to outshine me at my own wedding?"

She gasped. "Of course, not!"

Mikasa and I shared a look, not believing her words for even a second.

---

Old Christmas songs were being played on dad's old radio, the list including of course Sinatra's classics and the titular songs from movies like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph. The cookies were in the oven, releasing their sweet aroma into the air. With each breath in I was inexplicably filled with the sense of nostalgia and warmth that only the holiday season could bring.

For a few moments it felt like I was a child again, so young and innocent and naïve and filled with so much hope for the future. But things had changed, and I was an adult now, with lots more responsibility and things I needed to deal with that just got in the way. During the holidays, however...

My family, and including Levi, were now gathered at the kitchen table. The tabletop was absolutely littered in gumdrops and candy canes and small pipets of frosting and gingerbread folk all just waiting to be used.

With our bellies full and everything from dinner cleared away, there was hardly a better moment to start our little contest, with the promise of $100 in cash (straight from dad's pocket, so he was quite incentivized to get it back) hanging above our heads, we all got to work eagerly.

I chanced a glance around the table, at those I loved most, and their progress with the gingerbread houses.

Mom and Eren had probably the messiest display going for them. They only had three walls up so far, two of them being noticeably slanted inwards. Maybe they were making a tent. I had half a mind to tease them about it and ask if that was their plan, but I knew how they both were.

They were both terribly competitive, and they'd agree with what I said even if it wasn't what they were going for if only because it was a better plan than what they were going for at the moment. No, it was best to let them figure it out themselves. And if it never really stood up straight on its own, that would only mean a better chance for me and Mikasa to win.

Dad and Levi were... getting somewhere. I think. They had the makings of a rather solid first floor, but instead of going right for a roof on top they were adding... a second floor? Did we have enough pieces for that?

Was there an unspoken rule that the taller you made your house, the better it was, and thereby the higher your chance to win? That certainly wouldn't do. Maybe I'd get up to "use the bathroom" and bump the table, because if anything, I did not want dad to get that $100 back.

And if their team won and Levi got his share of the $50, he'd hold it over my head for weeks, I'm sure. Not literally, of course, but metaphorically, and use it to throw it in my face that I'd lost only to use it on a nice dinner out for us or something.

I returned my focus to my own work. We'd had a plan from the get-go and delegated the work properly, meaning our team was efficient and we were able to ensure the quality of it, too. We'd gotten the house part of it done quickly, though properly, and it was a cute little house that I'm sure our gingerbread people would be happy to live in.

And speaking of, that's what I'd been working on while Mikasa painstakingly set up a fence of pretzels around our gingerbread yard. We had an excess of green frosting we could use as grass, and peppermints we could use as a pathway to the door, but we'd do that later. For now, she labored in the hot sun putting up a fence, and I carefully constructed clones of us in a lab.

Not literally, obviously.

I began to hum as I put the finishing touches on my hair, using the closest color of frosting that I could find. Eren looked across the table at me, confused. "Why are you humming the guy's parts, (Y/n)? The hell?"

"Language," mom said absentmindedly.

I hadn't even realized I was doing it, but I supposed that I had been humming what was usually the man's part in Baby, It's Cold Outside. The original was playing, and I smiled and shrugged at him. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "I wasn't really thinking about it."

But then dad began to sing, "My father will be pacing the floor..."

"Listen to that fireplace roar," I continued with a light laugh.

"So really I'd better scurry," dad said, looking up at me with a mischievous smile.

Briefly focused on me for the moment that he was, his focus wavered, and Levi had to rescue a wall that he'd nearly knocked over. Despite the mishap we continued to sing, and even after that song finished and the next one started, I continued to sing and hum intermittently, dad joining in when he wanted, and mom did as well. And Eren did too, if only to make fun of the songs he didn't like.

And all too soon, the calm and serene mood faded away as we started to finish our displays. Just to be safe, mom decided to get pictures of all of them just in case any fell over during the night. Then we all went into the living room, mom retrieving the cookies from where they were cooling while we got settled in around the tree.

I sat on the loveseat beside Levi, while Eren and Mikasa took to the floor. Dad dropped down onto the couch and soon, mom joined him there, setting the plate of cookies on the table. We exchanged our gifts, playful banter passing between us as the music remained ever a constant in the background, now joined by the crackling of the fireplace.

And it was a beautiful, calm evening.

Despite me knowing that I still had something planned for tonight, I found that it was too soon that we had to leave. But we did, putting our coats and gloves and scarves on, putting our snow boots on, gathering our gifts into our arms, and saying our goodbyes.

My heart was so incredibly full of love from this evening alone. And upon taking a glance into Levi's eyes as my father as he clapped him on the back and said something to him, I could definitely note some amusement in Levi's eyes as he responded.

Perhaps his heart was full of love as well.

Levi felt the weight of my gaze on his profile and glanced over at me.

Yeah. I could tell by the look in his eyes alone. He was happy. And he felt, if at all possible... like he was part of this family.

---

Only a short while later, I slowed to a stop, parking along one of the streets downtown. After leaving my family home, I'd insisted on driving which confused him only until he realized that I had a surprise in store for him.

"I don't like surprises," he reiterated now that we were here. I parked the car and looked over at him, turning the car off. "You know that."

"I do know that," I said, "which is why I told you weeks ago that I had your whole birthday weekend planned out."

"That doesn't count as not making this a surprise," he muttered.

"Alright, well if you want the plan from here, all we're going to do is take a walk around town. How does that sound?"

"It's getting late," he said, making me smile.

"That's the point," I said quietly to myself, getting out of the car.

He got out of the car, and I joined him on the sidewalk. I took his hand in mine and started to walk along, following the crowd of people as they went. The storefronts were all decorated for the season, displaying their best last-minute deals, and the poor suckers left rushing for presents were going for them.

Aside from those frenzied shoppers, all was calm. People were caroling somewhere, there were jingle bells chiming elsewhere, and the entire street was abuzz with conversation. The vehicle traffic on this road was light; not many people were driving around considering it was Christmas Eve, and those that were driving weren't in a rush.

Gentle snowfall descended around us, and the sky was nearly pitch black. The moon was well hidden behind thick clouds, which accounted of course for the weather. But I couldn't complain; the world would get a White Christmas. Who'd complain about that?

A snowflake landed on my nose, and I ducked my chin further into my scarf. Levi must have noticed in his periphery because he chuckled. "Don't tell me a snowflake scared you, (Y/n)."

"It didn't," I said, laughing. "It's just cold!"

He hid his smirk beneath his own scarf, opting not to tease me over it for now. We walked in a peaceful, blissful silence. The world around us, resplendent in its beauty tonight, became little more than background noise and faceless passerby as we walked. Hand-in-hand, together we walked, lost in our own little paradise. Yes, it was cold, and yes, we were wandering rather aimlessly, but it was calm, and it was lovely, and it was perfect.

My other hand was tucked deep into my pocket, my fingers curling in pulses to try to warm up. Even being out in the chilled air, my other hand was warm, delightfully so due in part to the glove but mostly because of Levi. For as cold as he appeared to be to others, he was incredibly warm, and something akin to a living furnace.

Among all the other noises of the night, a twinkling chime of jingling bells and the telltale sound of hooves against the cobblestone of the pedestrian road we were now walking along stood out and I turned my head to watch as a horse-drawn carriage went by. Two dappled horses, with wreaths and bows and poinsettias hanging from their tack led a white carriage decorated much in the same way.

"Oh," I cooed, "how pretty." There were already passengers on the wagon, a small family by the looks of it. A father, a mother, and assumedly their three daughters. "Poor guy's got his hands full," I said with a quiet laugh. "Four girls."

Levi opened his mouth to say something, but it was at that moment – as the horses walked by – that one of the charges decided to take a shit. "Disgusting," Levi said, pulling me along with him towards the other side of the sidewalk to get away from the stench, making me laugh.

As we walked along, the wagon passed us by, and soon was out of sight, but there was no shortage of pretty things to look at, not least of all being the man I loved most in this world. I occasionally stole glances at him, not looking long enough to stare but doing it so often that he noticed them anyway.

He caught me once, making me smile and look away. What I didn't see was him roll his eyes, yet look away as well, embarrassed to realize that he was that which I chose to look at with so much love in my eyes.

I wondered if perhaps for our whole lives I might be able to make him this shy, and all because I looked at him.

Maybe one day when we're old and gray, Levi might still feel embarrassed when I told him just how much I loved him, because such flowery, sweet words were still so foreign to his ears now after years of dating that I couldn't imagine it changing after a few decades.

Maybe one day his endearing ways of showing his love for me would stop making me smile so much when even thinking of the memories of such things, but I doubted it. Maybe one day he would cease to amaze me with every little thing he did, but I doubted that as well.

Everything he did was extraordinary.

Everything I did was for him.

And I knew that in his mind, the opposite was true.

Never would I feel like I was enough for him, because how would one person ever be able to do so much for someone so perfect? And yet in my heart I knew that he felt the exact same way, only that he felt he would never deserve me.

I also knew, in my heart, that never would we stop trying to convince the other that we were deserving of each other. That we did deserve everything we got. That we were worthy of the love we gave and received.

But we had our whole lives to do that. For now... I'd just love him, as best I knew how.

Note: hello, loves! I know I said I'd be on vacation for a while and that's still true (I'll be back for real on January 3rd), but today is my birthday and so, before I go off drinking and gambling all my money away, take this chapter! love you all lots, see you in the next one! <3