Senior Year:

"Oh, come on, Steph. Really?"

"Really!"

"No way."

"What? Why not?"

"Because."

"No, don't do that. Give me a reason."

"I... Um..."

"Exactly. You've got no reason against it. You just want to spend another night in watching anime or something."

"Well," I grumbled defensively, "what's wrong with that?"

Stephanie, from her spot on her belly laid across my bed, beamed at me, the look especially cheeky with her fingers laced under chin. "I'll tell you what's wrong with that. Our whole graduating class is going."

From my place at my desk, I looked over at her skeptically. "You want me to believe that our entire graduating class is going to a frat party? Even Benny?"

"Even Benny," she confirmed.

"Like I would fall for that. He's more of a homebody than I am. He wouldn't go to a dirty frat house unless you dragged him there."

"There'll be booze, so he's been convinced," she said. "That's really all it takes for him. Listen, if you really don't want to go, you don't have to. I just think it'll be fun and like, be a final fun thing for us to do as a class."

"I just find it hard to believe that self-respecting college kids would invite a bunch of high schoolers to a party."

"Ok, for one thing, they're not self-respecting. Secondly, they like cute girls, what can they say?"

"Uh huh," I said, returning my focus to my schoolwork, only to scowl when I realized I'd missed a step in my lab report. I immediately got to fixing it, while Steph got off my bed and stood, knowing she wasn't going to get any further on this topic from me right now.

"I just think it'll be fun," she said. "Give it some thought, anyway. And," she said conspiratorially now, making me roll my eyes in advance, "Nile will be there."

"That's nice."

"Don't you want to see him?"

"Not really."

"Oh, come on, you know you've been interested in knowing how he's doing!"

"Hardly," I muttered. "He's sweet on Marie, anyway."

"You say that, but he still asked you out, and you still went on a date with him."

"And it was awful," I reminded her. "He just talked about her the whole time. I don't know why I even said yes."

"Because he's handsome?"

"Absolutely not. He's not exactly my type." Thinking about it, I stuck my tongue out with disgust before adding, "and have you seen his sorry excuse for a beard?"

"They're not even together yet," Stephanie murmured, talking about Nile and another girl in our year, Marie. Everyone at the school knew how he felt about her... except her, of course. "Ah, well. If he's not your type, then who is? I think that one date might've been the only one you've gone on in the four years I've known you."

I almost had it in me to be offended. "So?"

"So," she said in a straightforward manner, "as your bestie, I have no idea how to help you. Don't you want a boyfriend?"

"Not particularly," I told her, returning my eyes to my lab report.

"Oh, come on," she sighed, plopping right back down on my bed, her plans for leaving clearly flying out the window. "Aren't you lonely?"

"No," I answered. "I'm not. I've got my friends and my best friend, too."

"Aw," she cooed. "You're sweet."

I smirked at her. "I didn't mean you."

"What?!"

A dramatic pout adorned her lips now, just as my own smile broadened. "Come on, I told you about him back in like, freshman year."

"Oh," she said, sounding completely uninterested now. "Him."

"Yes, him."

"You can't be serious."

"I am very serious, Steph."

"So your best friend is this totally hot guy that is clearly into you, and yet you're content just being his best friend. Is that right? Am I supposed to believe that bullshit? Because it's bullshit, (Y/n). It is."

"He's not totally hot, and he's not clearly into me," I said.

"Are you kidding me?!" She stood, storming to my desk to pick up a framed photo I had sitting atop it. "Look at him!"

The picture she had picked up, the one I had so lovingly framed, was one we had taken the last time I had been to visit him. It was only a few weeks ago, at the very beginning of spring. We'd taken a beach day, considering we were hit with a few very strange, very warm days at the beginning of the season, which was rather odd in and of itself.

Still, we had taken advantage of the weather and quite stupidly decided to swim. It was only a stupid decision because the water hadn't warmed yet, not even a little bit, so any hopes we had for swimming were quickly thwarted by the ice-cold ocean water.

Regardless, it had been an incredibly fun day, and I'd somehow convinced him to take some pictures with me. We propped my phone up against my bag, put a timer on it, and took picture after picture. Most of them were bad, for Levi hated taking pictures.

Others were kinda cute, but only in the way that Levi could be cute. It was cute not in an adorable young kitten kind of way, but like a cranky old cat kind of way.

The one I printed was the one I liked best. We were both in our swimsuits of course, with the beautiful blue sky accented by the beautiful blue ocean behind us. We had been standing, and I'd put my arm around Levi's waist to make sure he didn't leave the frame. His arms had been crossed over his chest, and he was looking away, but there was a smirk on his face from something I'd said.

It was about as good of a picture as I could expect from him.

I'd been smiling widely in the picture. At least one of us was. Looking at it brought with it all the happy memories from the day.

Of course, what Stephanie was referring to was the fact that he'd been only in swim trunks. Meaning he was shirtless. Meaning he was showing off his lean, lithe body. Meaning it was clear to anyone with eyes that he had muscles in all the right places. 

He wasn't overly built, not in the slightest. Objectively speaking, he was beautiful. A handsome face, sculpted body, and he was intelligent as hell to boot. And I was lucky enough to... call him my best friend.

And nothing more.

Strangely, this was the first moment that acknowledging that left a bitter taste in my mouth. I'd told myself for years that we were best friends, and that though we had kissed, that was back in middle school, and it wasn't like we were dating or anything like that. And for years, I told myself I was fine with that.

Only, hearing it said from someone else let me know how big of a lie it was.

Somewhere deep inside, I knew that this was the reason why I didn't go on dates with other people. Hell, I'd only said yes to the one with Nile because he'd been so bashful, and so shy, that I felt bad for him. It wasn't that I thought anything would happen between us, nor that I wanted anything to happen.

It was really more for a free meal than anything else, for he insisted on paying.

"You're insane," Steph said. "You can have the prettiest man on the planet and yet you insist on maintaining your pride."

"It's not that," I protested.

"Well, say what you want, I think he's hot."

"I'm sure you do."

"I'm heading out," she continued, gathering her things. "Just think about tagging along, ok? It'll be fun."

"I'll think about it," I assured her. "I'll see you tomorrow anyway."

"Bye-bye!"

When she left, I sighed and looked out my window. Any hope of finishing this lab report tonight had diminished, because suddenly, all I could think about was one thing.

Well... one person.

---

Currently, I found myself in a strange spot.

Even from outside the frat house, we could hear the bumping, pounding music from the mismatched speakers inside.

There were plenty of people milling about outside, beer cans in hand as they chatted away. A few were sitting on the front steps, others were lazed out on the lawn, and a few were sitting in truck beds and atop car hoods in the driveway. Already, the smells of booze and cologne (from the boys who doused themselves in it) and marijuana and even vomit were heavy in the air.

A strange mix, to be sure.

So, this was a college party? Interesting. Plenty of people went to them in high school, Stephanie being no exception, so she was in her element here. But not me. Not yet. It certainly seemed fun, but there was a lot going on at once.

I'd arrived here with Steph and her twin, Benjamin. They'd been some of the first people to befriend me upon arriving at my new school for the tail end of middle school, and thankfully, we'd all enrolled in the same high school.

They were, simply put, some of my closest friends. While Benjamin was a bit of a homebody, preferring to play video games and watch anime at home than go out and party, the boy enjoyed drinking ever since he and his sister had broken into their parents' supply when they were out of the house one day.

He was no stranger to drinking, but he was a stranger to parties like this, just as I was. But Stephanie led us right into the house, saying hello to those she knew, which was just about everyone. Between the two, she was the far more confident sibling. If she was a token extrovert, he was a token introvert.

I wasn't sure what quite to expect from tonight, but the inside of the frat house was absolutely packed not only with college kids, but with high schoolers as well. I recognized quite a few people from the school, most of which I was rather friendly with.

With the sheer volume of people in the house, there was little room to actually dance, so people who had paired off were content to make out against a wall or grind against each other in what little room there was.

Steph led us through the crowd confidently, finding paths through the chaos in a way I could not. When Ben and I started to lag behind, she stopped, reaching for my hand. I took it, and reached back for Ben's, and we slowly but surely made our way to a door leading downstairs. 

It was far less congested with people down here, though it was tough to see through the haze of smoke. There were a few couches and beanbag chairs all circled around a table, and it looked like everyone here was getting high. Guess this was what Stephanie's plan was.

On the table were some pills as well. Ben noticed them too. He seemed about as excited about this as I was. Steph had already settled down on the couch between two guys, clearly well-acquainted with them already, and we remained just outside the circle awkwardly. I glanced at Ben warily, and he met my gaze hesitantly.

"Back upstairs? We can grab drinks and talk outside," he suggested.

"That sounds nice," I admitted. 

We headed back upstairs after letting Stephanie know, squeezing our way through the hordes of intoxicated people to the front door. We were only inside for a few minutes and yet the air had been so stifling and hot and loaded with the scents of marijuana, booze, smoke, and cheap cologne, that coming outside now was a very, very welcome change.

The early summer air was cool, the sky of dusk inky purple and steadily growing darker. We grabbed a few drinks from a cooler and found an empty spot to settle down in the grass. I stifled a sigh as I opened the can.

"Not quite what I was expecting," Benjamin admitted.

"Same here," I muttered. "I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this."

"There's just a lot of people," he said, looking back at the house. "It's a little overwhelming, to be honest."

I went to take a sip of my drink but then remembered that Ben was supposed to drive us home. But he'd already started to drink, and I figured that he should be able to have his fun. I could stay sober, for the sake of their fun. Better to be safe than sorry, anyway. I had no problem driving, anyway.

It wasn't long before a group of girls, probably from a sorority, started to arrive. Their cars went quite a ways down the street and they got out of their cars as if planned and started to trickle down the sidewalk towards the house.

The sounds of their chatter reached us long before we could even hope to make out their faces, nor recognize any of the words they were saying. But soon enough we could, and Benjamin laughed quietly, leaning towards me.

"Steph taught me the trick to figure out who the freshman and who the seniors are," he said mischievously. I nodded, waiting for him to continue even as I tried to find the difference for myself. "I didn't think it actually worked, but there's no way to know for sure unless we ask."

"What's the trick? And why doesn't it work for sophomores or juniors?"

"Well," he said like it was obvious, "there isn't a clear way to tell if they're from those years but take a look at their outfits. If they look like they're trying too hard, and they're too dressed up, they're freshmen. But the girls wearing sweats and hoodies? Those are seniors."

"Right," I said, playing along. "Because by then, they've gone to enough parties to stop caring, right?"

"Exactly," he said with a nod. "That's what she told me, anyway. By the time you're almost a graduate, you don't care to dress up anymore, especially not for a frat party of all things where you'll be getting smashed anyway. Really, they're just here for the drinks, not to have sex on a creaky old bed in a frat brother's room."

"Nothing worse than that, I suppose," I mused. "If the boys are as musty as the house is, then it really isn't worth it."

Ben smirked. "It's all just a joke anyway. Steph loves the idea of Greek Life, but I can't stand it. Paying for friends? Paying to do charity and philanthropy events? I'll pass."

I laughed. "Seems like a strange thing to spend money on. Doesn't paying to join a group only to do charity events kinda defeat the purpose?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "I think so, anyway." By then, a pair of girls each dressed as though they were about to go to bed and not to a party walked by. "Hey," Ben called out, getting their attention. "Are you students at the university?"

"We're seniors in nursing," one called back.

"I knew it," he said quietly to me. Then louder, he said to the girls, "you certainly look like seniors."

"And you look like you belong in middle school, kiddo. Go home."

A bark of laughter escaped me and Ben grumbled under his breath. "They're right, Benny," I teased. "You do have a bit of a baby face."

"Oh, shut it," he muttered. Then his eyes widened, and I followed his gaze to see a girl who looked rather nervous, and she was dressed rather cutely. By the Green twins' logic, she was a freshman, then?

By the looks of it, the judging by the way he went completely silent, I'd say he was rather smitten. She had caught his eye and it seemed that he had caught hers. The two locked eyes for a moment. "She's hot," he said under his breath. The girl looked at me, then back at Ben.

"Excuse me," she said to him, stopping just a few feet away from us, "but is that a Spirited Away tattoo?"

"Huh?" Ben asked, temporarily forgetting about his own tattoo. Then he looked down, seeing the dragon form of Haku stretched across his forearm. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. It is."

"It's gorgeous," she said with a smile. "Um. Are you two...?"

"Together? No, we're not," I answered easily, smiling at her in return. "You can steal him away, if you want."

"Are you sure?" Ben asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I'll be fine. I'll find some other friends of ours and hang with them until we decide to leave."

"Well," he said cheekily, "if all goes well, I might not need a ride back 'till morning."

"Right," I said teasingly. "Like you've got any kind of game."

As though suddenly remembering that the girl was standing right there, he tore his attention from me and looked back at the girl. He stood, swiping his hand across the seat of his pants to let the blades of grass that had clung to it flutter back to the ground.

"See ya," he said before disappearing with her into the frat house.

I let myself sit there for a moment longer by myself before I got to my feet and returned to the house myself. It was a party after all, and no good would come from me just sitting here by myself. At the very least, I could have a little bit of fun.

So, I ventured back into the house and got to weaving my way through the crowd once more, following my nose towards where the kitchen might be. The responsible friend in me would keep me from drinking, but the fatass in me would make sure that at least I ate tonight.

When I found the kitchen, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was rather well-stocked with food already out on the table and countertops, and that it was relatively less crowded than literally everywhere else in the house. As I got myself some chips, I didn't even have to turn my head to know that someone leaned against the counter beside me.

"Hey, girlie," Stephanie said. I glanced at her incredulously, recognizing her voice but not the drunken slur to her words and the haze that had overtaken her eyes. How long had Ben and I been outside? Or... just how much did she have to drink in such a short time?

"Steph," I said worriedly.

"I know what you're going to say," she drawled out. "Someone's gotta cut you off. Yeah, yeah. You're like, the third person to tell me that. Which is why I'm staying here for the night! I bagged a total hottie for tonight, you'd love him. And did you see? Ben got himself a cutie for the night, too!"

"I know," I replied hesitantly. "Are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine," she assured me with a broad smile. "You know, the boy I found has a brother. Maybe you'd like to meet him, and get real close to him..."

"No thanks," I said. "Just... be careful tonight, ok? No more drinking or smoking or anything else."

"I've had more than this," she said. "Trust me. My tolerance is much higher than you think! And it's certainly higher than Benny's!"

"That's not difficult," I said.

"Listen," she said, her tone serious. And yet, it was hard to take her seriously when she was drunk like this. "Just try to enjoy yourself! Find a hottie, get in bed with him, and have a few drinks!"

"I was planning on bringing you two home," I muttered.

"No way am I leaving without getting in bed with that beautiful man," she protested.

"Have some water, please," I said to her.

"Got some downstairs," she said, waving me off. "I only came to get another case for us downstairs."

"Steph," I began, only to get cut off again.

"Relax, (Y/n)! Live a little!"

I sighed. At least if she was staying here, there were plenty of people not completely shitfaced to keep an eye on her. And if Ben had someone with him too, well he'd probably be too busy to get into too much trouble anyway.

That only left me. I'll probably just have to Uber home, I thought, watching as she sauntered off. I don't want to take Steph's car and leave them stranded in the morning. I sighed.

"Such a pretty girl as you shouldn't ever be sad enough to sigh," came an unfamiliar voice. Now that I was alone in the room, the sudden words – assuredly aimed at me – surprised me. I held myself together, not allowing it to show even as a shudder threatened to run down my spine.

I turned my head, seeing that a college boy, likely one of the frat brothers here, had entered the room but stayed leaned against the doorframe, watching me at the counter as I snacked. He was wearing a baggy shirt and grey sweats, and on his feet were socks. Did he just roll out of bed? The bedhead certainly suggested that. And if Steph's trick worked, then that meant he was a senior?

"You look confused," he said with a warm smile that I'm sure would make any other woman swoon. "I live upstairs. I was taking a nap, woke up, and there was a party."

"It's a Saturday night," I said slowly, carefully. "Aren't there usually parties here on the weekends?"

"Way to call my bluff," he said, laughing lightly. "I didn't feel like partying today, so I thought I'd sleep through it. I didn't think a couple would start playing tonsil hockey right outside my room, so I came down here for some food."

"Am I in your way?"

"Not at all," he said, stepping around me to get to the fridge. He got a tray of leftovers out and got a plate ready for himself. "Course, if I knew someone as cute as you would be here, I'd have come down a long time ago."

"Right," I said, smiling a little despite myself. "Does that line work on every girl you talk to?"

"Ouch," he said with a laugh. "What? Did it sound too rehearsed?"

"You could be an actor," I said, taking a bite from another chip as he took a bite of his own food. "Not Johnny Depp level or anything, but an actor."

"What about Danny DeVito," he mused. "Now that guy is my idol."

A few more minutes of talking, laughing, and eating followed. This boy's name was Ethan, and he was actually a sophomore. Of course, this late into the term, he was practically a junior, and depending on whether you took credit into account, then theoretically he was a junior already. Talking with him in the relative quiet of the kitchen was actually rather nice, and he was making good conversation.

He was an engineering major and while he had started off on a tangent about a new 3D printer being installed in one of their labs, he quickly trailed off when he realized he was getting quite technical.

"Sorry for boring you," he'd said sheepishly. I'd told him that I wasn't, that hearing about the inner workings of a printer was actually what I wanted to do in all my free time. He'd picked up on the sarcasm.

And soon enough, with a gesture of his head towards the living room, he asked if I wanted to dance. I couldn't think of a reason to say no, and so I nodded with a smile. Who knows? It might be fun. And I'd never danced with anyone before, not like this.

I'd gone to maybe one wedding and was forced to dance with one of the bride's cousins. But never had I danced like this, at a party, and with someone super hot. Because if I could say anything about this guy, he was hot.

Our food be damned, I let him take my hand and he pulled me close. With an air of confidence and an ease to his gait, he led me right into the living room where the majority of people were dancing. The bass pounded off the walls, the electronic beats were energetic, and the strobing lights seemed to electrify the room. He expertly found an empty pocket of space, just enough room for us, and when he came to stand behind me, I figured there'd be no way to hide the way that I was just completely unexperienced at this.

"New to this, aren't you?" He said, his voice extremely low and close to my ear. The sensation sent a shiver down my spine. If he noticed it, it was only shown in the smirk I could feel against the skin of my neck, and that was nearly enough to make me shiver once more.

"That obvious, huh?"

"That's alright," he said warmly. "We'll take it slow."

Taking it slow, for him, was quite a stretch. I guess he meant we wouldn't dance quite to the tempo of the song, which itself was rather fast. But his hands, large and warm on my hips, guided me to move with his own tempo, one that had us grinding against each other in a very sexy, sultry kind of way.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself at first. But gradually I began to actually dance, to sway my hips and move against him in a way that hopefully looked more natural than it felt. I... gave into the music, or at least I tried my best to. A few songs later, I started to relax.

The dancing grew more varied, and everything else seemed to fade to background noise as I began to have fun. I even smiled and laughed as he did, and I got lost in what was happening. We turned and swayed and spun and flirted. 

He even spun me under his arm then caught me in a dip. He went so far as to send me a wink when I playfully glared up at him. But then with one hand pressed to the small of my back and the other on my hip, he began to draw me back up towards him, and I briefly wondered if he'd kiss me. 

But then the song faded into another one, and I smiled at him before sending him for a spin. The sound of his laughter reached my ears and I couldn't do anything to stop the excited flutter of my heart.

And... it was incredible.

I hadn't expected to have so much fun at one of these. He didn't smell terribly like alcohol, or of marijuana, or any other substance that would have his judgment impaired. I knew it was bad to let my guard down, and so I didn't. But my mind certainly began to wander, to think about what might come of tonight.

With him.

Only, after a few more songs...

Something began to feel off.

I wasn't sure what. I couldn't put a finger on it. But it was definitely something, and it was definitely off.

We'd ended up in the same way we had started, with my back to his chest. Only, instead of his hands remaining on my hips, one trailed upwards towards my waist, his palm pressing gently into my skin. His other hand slid forward, further around me, and trailed... downwards.

"Ethan," I said. For a moment I figured he might not have heard me, because he didn't respond. "Ethan," I tried once more, turning my head towards his.

If only he wasn't doing what he was doing; otherwise, those words might have made me swoon.

"What's wrong, beautiful?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was just thinking," he said lowly, "that maybe you might want to take this somewhere else."

Somehow, despite me thinking about it, him saying it sounded wrong. Because no, I didn't want this. It was only exciting because it was my first time doing anything like this. The thought of him doing... the thought of us having... no. It wasn't right. Not with him. Not like this.

"No," I said immediately. "Sorry, I'm not-" A gasp cut through my words when a tender kiss was pressed to my neck. "Ethan!"

"Hm?"

"Stop," I pressed. "I don't want this."

"Your body's telling me something different, baby girl," he insisted.

The words were foreign to my ears. It was like he was speaking in a different language. A million different alarm bells were going off in my ears. I tried to step away from him, only for him to follow, pulling me against his chest and taking advantage of me being mid-step to slip a knee between my legs.

"Ethan, stop," I said, biting back the frightened squeal that wanted to escape me. I grabbed at his hands to try stop them, but the effort was in vain. He was stronger than me. He must have known this, for he only chuckled a bit in response. I pried myself away from him. "I mean it," I continued. "I'm not doing this."

And yet he persisted. I continued to shy away, to try to escape. It seemed that no one else at the party could see what was happening, nor did they seem to notice it at all. "Get off, you asshole," I hissed, dodging his advances once more.

His eyes narrowed nearly to slits when finally, a nearby group of girls noticed the commotion. They seemed to figure out what was happening immediately, and as part of some silent conversation they had amongst themselves, one pushed away from her spot leaning against the wall, as though to intervene. 

"You don't look like you're having a good time," one of the girls said to me as the others followed after her, approaching us both in a forceful, yet casual manner. They were pretending to keep things calm, but you'd have to be blind not to see the anger simmering in their eyes. 

"Come on, hon," one of the girls said. "We didn't even see you slip away from us. It's girl's night, you know."

"Sorry," I said with a forced smile, playing along as if I knew them. "Went for some food, and met someone on the way, that's all."

"Hate to break it to you, buddy," a rather tall girl said, "but she's with us. We'll be taking her back now."

"Bitch," Ethan muttered into my ear before backing away. Thankful for the girls, I shot them a grateful smile, as I then went quickly to their side. Knowing exactly where I wanted to go, they began guiding me through the house towards the front door, making a protective sort of pocket around me as we made our way outside.

They only eased up once we were outside, though even then they remained close. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine now," I said. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," the first girl to step up had said. "Trust me, we all know what it's like to be in a situation like that."

"I don't know what I would've done," I muttered honestly. "I was scared."

"If no one cuts in like we did," one girl said, "just scream. Better to harsh everyone's vibe than let something like that happen, right?"

"Right," I said somewhat hesitantly.

"Did you come here with anyone?"

"I was with two others," I answered, "but I think they found dates for the night."

"Is there anyone you can call?"

I nodded. And as soon as I started down the steps, I slipped my phone from my pocket. I didn't call an Uber, I didn't call mom, nor did I call dad. Almost immediately after I put the phone to my ear, the person on the other end picked up.

"Levi," I said, my voice shaky and quiet, "if I send you my location, can you come pick me up?"