I wake up and start to rub my eyes but stop myself because of my broken right arm. Learning to work with my left arm is difficult. I keep dropping stuff but at least my parents are right there to help me. At first, it was annoying seeing them worry about every physical thing that I do. My mom even came into my room asking if I needed help getting into my clothes. But after Saturday, I gave up on trying to be independent, just letting them help in any way they want to.

 Tyrese came by to see how I was doing on Sunday but the encounter was really awkward. He went to give me a hug and stopped because of my arm, then just stood back. People keep treating me like I'm broken or something. 

Learning how to put on clothes with a broken arm is interesting though. I figured out that if I only wear rompers and dresses, then I won't have to suffer the difficulty of putting on a shirt. The school let me stay home today so I lay in the living room and watch tv until my eyes hurt. I zone out for a bit and think about Damien. He recovered and is now resting at home. His injuries weren't as bad as the doctor's said and he has some minor head injuries but no broken bones. 

I love Damien. It came to me after I had that dream on Friday night. After he left me in the dream, I felt so empty. I woke up looking for him beside me and he wasn't there. I felt alone by myself in the dark hospital room without my parents. All I had was the occasional squeaking of a hospital cart. He has always been there for me and those small moments when we would be alone, meant everything to me. The day that he told me he loved me while listening to his favorite song, I felt something also. I need to see him. And this feeling of jealousy that I have had over these last couple of days is because I want Damien as more than a friend. It was hard to admit, but at least I'm being honest with myself.

 I check my phone and on my lock screen, I have a picture of us together. In the picture Damien is laying across my lap with his phone in his hand and he is smiling at the camera like a kid in a candy store. I have the phone propped up on a pillow and both hands in Damien's hair. We took that picture the day he got cast as the lead in A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry. When he read the cast list that day and say his name at the top, he ran all the way to my homeroom and dragged me to the cast list so I could see it for myself. After we went back to his house to accost his mom with the happy news, then we hung out on his couch till nine o'clock that night.

I get out of bed and make my way downstairs, trying not to wake my parents. I have been waking up at around seven in the morning for the past two days and I've been trying to figure out what to do with all this time. With my phone carefully balanced in my left hand, I attempt to unlock my phone and respond to text messages. Immediately, at least a hundred texts pop up from people hoping that I get better.

 Tyrese texts me too, but instead of the cheesy sentimental stuff, he sends me a picture of a drawing that he made for me. It has a girl that is supposed to be me at school doing nothing during a test while everyone else is freaking out. Below, he sends me a caption reading: At least you have a chance of getting out of taking the finals. I smile at the text and Facetime him.

"What's up love?" Tyrese answers after three rings and is laying on his bed.

"I'm sorry If I woke you up," I apologize while walking down the steps. "I'm attempting to make a sandwich."

"Hey I was already about to get up so no worries." Tyrese grabs glasses from his nightstand and puts them on his face.

Tyrese's dark chocolate skin catches the sunlight pouring in from the window behind his bed. The glare from his glasses causes light blotches in my eye to appear. I try to blink away the elusive purple patches and he laughs at me. 

"What are you doing up this early anyway?" I ask while using my casted arm to support the loaf of bread that I pull out of the closest cabinet.

"Sometimes I just get up early and think to myself."

"Think to yourself?" I laugh and give up on making a sandwich, putting the bread back. "Who else are you thinking to?"

"Shuddup." He bites the inside of his mouth and his dimples show.

"Thanks for the drawing by the way." I open the fridge and grab some leftover pancakes then heat them up in the microwave.

"No problem. I figured it would be better than sending an 'I hope you feel better' message. I know that you are dealing with a lot right now" 

"Yeah." I test the pancake with my hand and get a fork and knife out. "They'll just have me take the test on a doc or something."

"No syrup?" Tyrese gives me a confused look and sits on the side of his bed. "Are you doing okay though?"

"I don't like syrup. It's too sweet." I shrug my shoulders and start eating. "I know that you have to take a shower so Imma get off the phone with you."

"Rhea." Tyrese gives a concerned look but I shrug it off.

"What?" I smile. "My arm is healing."

"Rhea it isn't healthy to not deal with things."

"WHAT THINGS?" I tear up and put my fork down.

"Nevermind Rhea. I'm sorry," Tyrese sighs and hangs up.

I stare through the phone for a couple of seconds after he hangs up. What is up with everybody? My parents stir upstairs and I head back to my room.

__________________________________________________________________

At around three, the doorbell rings, and I assume its the mailman. I go downstairs but there isn't anyone at the door. Then, I look around my porch and see Damien standing on the side of the house. 

"Damien?" I call and he turns around and waves.

"Hey," Damien says and walks toward me. "I came by to drop off something I got for you."

He hands me the necklace halfheartedly and steps back. It is a locket necklace with a picture of us inside of it. The picture is of me and him when we went together for homecoming.

"Thanks!" I say cheerily trying to lighten the mood. I go to hug him but he doesn't respond to the gesture.

"Mhm," Damien responds and forces a smile. "I meant to give this to you during the car ride but you know."

"It's beautiful." I admire the heart-shaped locket and breathe in deeply. "Damien, I'm sorry that I didn't answer you before the... you know. Damien, I love you."

He pulls his lips into a tight line and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Why isn't he saying anything back? I look at the ground waiting for him to say something. This feels different. Usually we can talk easily but things have changed now.

"I don't know Rhea." Damien looks up at me then quickly averts his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I had to-" Damien tears up and curls his lip. "Nevermind Rhea. I just wanted to drop this off and leave. I'll see you around."

"Damien don't leave. You don't think that it was a hit when out of nowhere you told me that you loved me more than a friend," I plead and continue. "It wasn't because you almost died... that I came to the realization that I love you."

"Then what was it and why did it take you till...this." Damien points to my arm. "THIS!"

"I don't know. I guess I have always loved you. But the reality of you not being here reminded me how much I love you."

"Then show me." With that Damien turns and walks away. After about thirty seconds I start to walk after him, but he is nowhere in sight.

"You don't have to be so cold." I whisper to myself and walk inside the house clutching the locket. I really do love you.