"Rhea." I hear a voice calling me and a bright light shines blocking my view. My heart pounds momentarily out of fear that the truck is coming again.

"The light is too bright in here," I say hoarsely and try to lift my arm to protect my eyes from the lights. Searing pain rips through my arm and I cry out. 

"You are in the hospital after the accident that you were in last night." A tall, lanky nurse with blond hair and glasses comes into view and pushes some buttons on the monitor next to my bed. The room starts spinning and I feel nauseous. "Are you experiencing any pain in your upper body area? Namely your chest, neck, or head."

"My arm. It hurts when I move it," I force out but I feel really dizzy.

The spinning stops and I take in the room. Cheap, bright fluorescent lights, the tan overbed table, chairs occupied by my parents' pillows and jackets, a monitor, an iv drip bag, other medical equipment that I don't have the name for, and the clipboard seated in a laminated pocket that I keep accidentally kicking. I look at the nurse's name tag and read the name "Livia". 

"You have a pretty name." I smile and sit up in the bed trying hard not to agitate my arm or my head.

"Do you want any water or ice chips?" Nurse Livia asks and adjusts my bed now that I am awake. "And thank you. I'm named after my great-grandmother. She was the first doctor in my family."

"Do you want to be a doctor?"

"Yeah, but not here. I want to become a doctor in a nice city where people don't come in with bullets in their chest twenty-four seven." She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. "But doctors in nice cities mostly come from money or status; neither of which I have."

"You should try if that is what you really want to do."

Nurse Livia nods and walks out to get my drink. The doctor must've been walking down the hallway because she stops and talks to him. I can only make out a few words like "miracle" and "impressive response". I get anxious when the doctor approaches the door. 

 "How is my strong little patient doing?" The doctor knocks on the door twice then walks in.

My parents hurry in the room from the other side of the doorway and sigh in relief when they see me awake.

"I'm okay." I half-smile and they scurry over to my bedside with handfuls of gift shop snacks.

"I'm Dr. Matthews." He has a clipboard in his hand and reads something off of it. "You are a very lucky girl. The impact from the truck caused the car to capsize on the shoulder. By the time we got to you, the seat and the dashboard sandwiched you in between. If the seat would have been 3 inches closer, your lungs would have been crushed by the impact. All you have is a broken right arm and two bruised ribs. Unfortunately..."

"What?" My heart pounds and I remember Damien.

"I love you... Ever since... I made a mistake... Rhea say something..." 

Damien's voice echoes in my head and a heavy fog comes over me. I remember his face vividly and I could do nothing to stop the headlights from blocking my view of him. Tears well up in my eyes then my parents' voices snap me back to the hospital room.

"By time we came..." My dad's voice trails.

"Honey they had to airlift him off to Kindred Hospital in Dover," my mom continues.

"There were no available rooms here," the doctor joins in.

"Stop," I say barely above a whisper. "Tell me how he is doing."

"There was nothing that we could do," the doctor says.

"Stop," I say louder and I get their attention. "Tell me how he is doing."

"We haven't gotten any word from them yet," the doctor says hesitantly. "There was gang activity the same night and Kindred Hospital has been extremely busy. I'm sorry Rhea."

The room starts spinning again and I feel utterly helpless. I will myself not to cry but my parents keep telling me that everything is going to be okay. But nothing is okay. I don't know if I will ever see Damien again and the last conversation we had was him spilling his heart out to me and I couldn't tell him how I feel. How do I feel?

Damien is...

Damien is my friend. Damien is my best friend. Damien is always there even when I don't ask him to be. Damien has a piece of my heart that runs so deep, it is hard to put our relationship into words. He is a type of friend that can only be described by memories. Memories that I want to keep making. It isn't too soon to know if I love him in the way he loves me. It has been too long to risk ruining what we have.

 But breaking his heart will build an even bigger bridge between us. I'm not sure whether that bridge will bring us closer or keep us apart. I'm scared of uncertainty and up until now, Damien has been the constant thing in my life. He has changed so much; why can't I keep up?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still, no word about Damien and my anxiety and fear about the situation has turned into an almost depressed state. I can't eat anything without getting nauseous and thinking about him gives me a headache. I miss him. I miss being around him and having him as company. 

My parents stay by my bedside for almost the entirety of the day and I kind of want them to go. Having them here just isn't the same as having Damien here. None of my friends stop by but my mom received texts from their parents containing prayers, scripture verses, and encouragement. My mom reads them off to me, trying so hard to feign strength on my behalf.

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death," I whisper to myself and lay down, letting a tear travel down the length of my body.

The nurses come in and check on me periodically, but I never see nurse Livia again. I start to ask one of the other nurses where she is at, but I don't find a valid reason. My arm is still in excruciating pain, but the doctors say that I can leave in the morning after they run trauma tests. They put my arm in a cast and say that it is safe to start signing in a week or two. Great. Now everyone is going to decorate me for the next two months. The doctor says that I may experience PTSD because of the crash, but that it is rare if I do. They even recommended me to a therapist just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At night, the hospital room is dark and empty. I convinced my parents that I would be fine through the night alone, but deep down I wanted them to stay. I wish I was the only one who got hurt and I wish that Damien was here to keep me company. With a broken arm, the only way I can lay is on my back. I stare up at the ceiling tiles and try to let exhaustion take over. The rolling of the hospital carts and the beeping equipment makes it hard to concentrate on sleeping, but eventually, I fall asleep.

I walk around the corner of a dark hallway and Damien appears. He is holding a candle and I walk towards him, more focused on getting to the candle than getting to him. I keep walking and a wall gets in my way. I turn around to try to figure a way out and Damien wraps his arms around me with the candle still in his hand. I ask him for the candle but he just holds me tighter. Damien asks whether I want the candle more or him and despite wanting to say him, I say the candle. He then blows out the candle and disappears, leaving me in the hallway alone. 

Author's Note: Interpretations anyone?