•what just happened•

•fluff / angst•

Tanjiro's pov

It's been around a month since I became hashira and took Rengokus place. It's been really nice working and training with other hanshiras. I got along with pretty much everyone but there is someone who I haven't talked to this whole time. Muichiro Tokito. Everytime I tried to talk to him he ignored and avoided me. Only person I see Muichiro talking to is Genya. Most of the time I see Genya and Muichiro they are with each other.

It was around 2pm and I decided to do some training. I asked Kanao and Tengen because those are the people I usually train with but Kanao needed to help Shinobu and Tengen was way too busy hanging out with his wifes. I walked around looking for someone to train with. Then I saw Genya with Muichiro... Again. I walked up to them and asked them if someone could train with me. When I looked at Muichiro he looked really annoyed. Genya said that he needed to do something so he asked Muichiro if he could do it instead. Muichiro didn't agree with that. I just said that I'll find someone else and ask them but Genya was like

Genya : It's fine Muichiro will help you, right?

He said as he looked at Muichiro. Muichiro looked at him and then looked at the ground and nodded slightly.

Genya : Okay I'll go now

Genya said ruffled Muichiro's hair before walking away. I thought this would be the time I get to know Muichiro but I was wrong. When we got to the training field Muichiro just took out his katana and said "hurry up, I want to get this over with". Mitsuri was right, he is a bit rude... but I am not gonna judge him just yet, maybe he's just not good with new people.

After the training, Muichiro and I sat down against the tree. He didn't talk, he probably just wanted to rest after the training. When I looked at him, he was looking at the sky.

Tanjiro : What are you looking at?

I said looking at the sky also trying to figure out what he's looking at. He didn't answer, again...but I won't give up.

Tanjiro : I never talked to you so I don't know much about you or you about me. S-

Muichiro : Why would you tell me.. it's not like I am going to remember anyways

Tanjiro : What do you mean?

Muichiro : forget it

He said, stood up and walked away as I followed him.

Tanjiro : Thank you for helping me with training. I am surprised about your skills for being so young y-

Muichiro : Can you stop talking? Why are you following me anyways?

Tanjiro : I just wanna get to know you better. Maybe become friends with you.

Muichiro : that's not gonna happen

1 week later

It's been a week since I first spoke with Muichiro. I tried multiple times to talk to him but he ignored me every single time. It was around 3pm and I was at the training field with Genya. We stopped training for a sec to take a rest. It was quiet for some time until Genya spoke up.

Genya : I am going on a mission tomorrow with Tengen, I haven't told Muichiro yet . When I leave, just please stay in contact with him, I don't want him to be alone.

Tanjiro : don't worry about that. I'll make sure to stay in contact with him.

Genya : thanks

Next day

It was 1pm and Genya was getting ready to go on a mission. I sat outside the butterfly mansion talking with Kanao as I watched Tengen, Genya and Muichiro. They were talking about something before Genya ruffled Muichiro's hair and then walked away. Muichiro just waved at him before walking away. I could sense sadness just from looking at him. As I promised to Genya I will stay in contact with him as much as I can. So I told Kanao that I need to go somewhere, she just nodded as I walked away. I was walking through the forest looking for Muichiro. Some time later I spotted him sitting in front of a lake. I walked up to him and sat next to him. He looked at me and then looked away.

Muichiro : what do you want

Tanjiro : I promised Genya that I'll keep you company when he's on a mission.

Muichiro/Tanjiro : I don't need any company

We said both at the same time.

Tanjiro : I expected you to say that.

Muichiro : *sigh* can you just leave me alone

Tanjiro : aww come on! just give me a chance

Muichiro :....you're not gonna leave me alone even if I say no...right?

Tanjiro : Yup

Muichiro :...fine...I'll give you a chance

Tanjiro : yay! thank you

I said as I hugged him.

Week later

Through this week Muichiro's and mine friendship got better. I spend most of my time with Muichiro trying to make a better friendship with him, sometimes he gets annoyed because I guess I was just talking too much? Many times I talked to him but he was just spaced out because he missed Genya...but today it was different... today he seemed more down than the other days. I tried to ask him what's wrong but he just ignored me. After training, I went to the butterfly mansion to look for Kanao. When I got there I saw Shinobu with...Tengen..Did he already come from a mission?...but Tengen looked...horrible. His body was covered with cuts and bruises. There was a huge cut on his arm and on his face.

Tanjiro : a-ah you're back.

I said and walked up to them closer. Shinobu just bandaged Tengen's cuts and Tengen looked at me.

Tengen : yup

Tanjiro : You look...horrible...was that demon that strong?

Tengen : mhm it was one of the upper moons

Tanjiro : I see....also where is Genya?

He looked down at the floor without an answer. Wait...he can't be

Tengen :....He's dead....I couldn't do anything. While I was fighting the upper moon something happened I looked away for a second and then I just saw his laying on the ground

I was shocked. Another one of my friends...dead.

Tanjiro : I see....

I said and walked away. My heart dropped when I realized. What about Muichiro.... How do I tell him? Then I realized... he looked really sad today. Does he already know?

I walked through the forest looking for Muichiro. I was almost everywhere and I still couldn't find him... well until I saw him at the training field. He must have gotten here around this time when I checked here the first time he wasn't here.

Tanjiro : Muichiro!

I called him and ran up to him as he turned around to face me.

Muichiro : oh Tanjiro...

Tanjiro : I finally found you. I was looking for you everywhere

Muichiro : oh... I am sorry

Tanjiro : No, don't apologize, it's fine. Also are you okay? You've been acting-

Muichiro : yeah yeah I know... I just wanted some time alone.... also I wanted to ask you something

Tanjiro : What is it?

Muichiro : I already saw Tengen but I can't find Genya. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find him..... and I didn't want to ask anyone else... Do you know where he is?

My eyes widened as I looked at the ground. He doesn't know? Do I need to tell him....

Tanjiro : e-ehm... well...

Muichiro was just looking at me waiting for an answer. As I just stood there. I didn't want to tell him that Genya is...dead....but he needs to know and he would get to know it eventually.

Tanjiro : Muichiro .... G-Genya is not coming back

I said as I looked at Muichiro. His eyes widened as he answered with "w-what do you mean?"

Tanjiro :...I am sorry but... Genyas dead

Muichiro : w-what?

Tanjiro : I am sorry

He just looked at the ground as I hugged him. He pushed me away and walked away. I wanted to follow him but I thought that he wanted some time alone.

8pm

After I told Muichiro about Genya I haven't seen him since. I made some onigiri and looked for him. I didn't know if he even ate today so I thought I could share some onigiri. I looked for him for some time until I found him. He was sitting on the ground resting his back against the tree while he had his knees to his stomach. I sat down next to him as he looked at me. His eyes were all red and puffy probably from crying.

Tanjiro : I finally found you. I made some onigiri...want some?

He just looked at and then looked away. I pulled him closer and hugged him. He didn't push me away, he hugged me back and started crying. I expect something like this to happen, so I just hugged him and rubbed his back as he cried into my chest.

Some time later we just sat there hugging each other. Muichiro wasn't crying anymore, he just sat there hugging me as he had head on my shoulder.

Tanjiro : Are you okay now?

Muichiro : mhm

He said as he pulled away from the hug. He wiped his tears and looked at the ground.

Muichiro : thank you.... I needed this....

Tanjiro : for what?

Muichiro : ....Even though I dated Genya... I couldn't let myself cry in front of him... so I just cried alone most of the time....it's nice to have someone that makes you feel better....

Tanjiro : Why couldn't you let yourself cry in front of him?

Muichiro : I heard him a couple times saying things to others like "oh my god, are you actually crying? How pathetic!" and others.... It made me think that he will think I am pathetic.... because of crying... multiple times when I remembered something from my childhood... from whatever I remembered it made me feel...sad...it made me feel like crying multiple times. I didn't have the guts to go to Genya and tell him about it......I was just...scared....

Tanjiro : I see.... well you don't have to be scared to cry in front of me... I'll be happy to make you feel better...any time you'll feel sad and I'll be around... feel free to come to me

Muichiro : ....t-thank you....

2 months later

Throughout the past months, Muichiro and I have talked a lot. As I said I wouldn't mind if he cried in front of me. So he believed me and allowed himself to cry in front of me. When he remembered something from childhood, he told me about it and I tried to make him feel better.... I heard from other hashiras that he's been through a lot but I didn't expect something like that. Also there's something more that happened thru this month. I never expected something like this to happen but... I developed.... feelings for Muichiro. I was surprised that I fell in love with a guy... I planned on telling him but I was worried that he would not feel the same..... that he still hasn't gotten over Genya's death and he's not ready for another relationship.

Even though I was scared, I decided to tell him. It was around 2pm when I began to look for him, a couple minutes later I found him walking away from a training field.

Tanjiro : training again?

I said as I walked up to him. I started to get a bit nervous

Muichiro : mhm

Tanjiro : soo... there's something I need to tell you...

Muichiro : .....what is it?

I stood there just looking at him while he just looked at me. I wanted to tell him I really did but as much as I tried the words weren't coming from my mouth.

Muichiro : ...soo?

Tanjiro : ...*sigh*..okay so.... I like you....more than a friend...

As I said that Muichiro's eyes widen and he just stared at me. He didn't say anything... he just walked away right after. I just took this as a rejection. I sighed and just walked away also.

Muichiro's pov

Right after I walked away I could feel tears building up in my eyes. I didn't expect Tanjiro to like me. The thing is..... I like him too...but I am scared to get this attached to someone again. I don't want to get attached the same way as Genya. That feeling of losing someone I love again just makes me feel horrible. All I could think about now was.....what should I do?...

Week later - Tanjiro's pov

It's been a week now since I told Muichiro about my feelings. Thru this week... we haven't talked. I tried to apologize but he ignored me. I just thought that he just needs some time but it's been a week now and he still hasn't said a word to me....and I have enough of it. I walked around the butterfly estate looking for Muichiro. I want to know why he's been ignoring me for so long. Is it because of the confession? probably. I walked around the estate and then I spotted Muichiro. I walked up to him and tapped on his shoulder. When he turned around and he saw me he wanted to walk away but I grabbed him by his hand and said "we need to talk". As I said, I led him to an empty room. When we got to the empty room I let go of his hand and began talking.

Tanjiro : So you've been avoiding me for a long time. Why's that? Is it because of the confesion?.... if yes... I am sorry but I can't control my feelings..I just wanted to let you know ....

He didn't answer. He just stared at the floor. I waited for an answer but when he didn't answer I grabbed him by his chin and made him face me.

Tanjiro : ANSWER ME!

I didn't mean to sound rude but I guess I did..I couldn't control my feelings, the sadness, anger, confusion... all those feelings mixed up... I didn't mean to scream at him... When I screamed his eyes widened as his eyes filled up with tears.

Muichiro : I-I am sorry....

He said as the tears that were filled up in his eyes slid down his cheeks. I let go of his chin as I said.

Tanjiro : nonono dont apologize.... I-I should. I didn't mean to sound rude.......I am sorry

I said as I wiped his tears.

Tanjiro : I just felt sad that you were ignoring me for so long.... It is because of the confession, right?

Muichiro :..... I-I wouldn't say it like that..... well... since Genya's death I was scared to get into any kind of relationship because I didn't want to go through that pain of losing someone I love again... when you confessed to me I didn't know what to do....in short... I like you too but... I was scared to get more attached than I already am ....

Tanjiro : I see... Thank you for telling me... do you still mind hanging out with me?

Muichiro : Of course I don't mind.....I am really sorry for ignoring you....

Tanjiro : it's fine I'll go now

I planned on walking away but before I did Muichir grabbed my hand and stopped me. When I turned around grabbed me he pulled me closer and kissed me. I was shocked. When he pulled away his face was fully red and mine was too. He then walked toward the door and looked at me once more and said.

Muichiro : .. I love you Tanjiro .... but I need some more time...

He then walked away. I just stood there with a fully red face....and I just thought to myself.

"what just happened?"

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