☻the name of love☻

☻angst / fluff☻

☻suggestion by : potatcuzynot☻

So my motivation suddenly went up at like 11pm so I decided to finnish this- ehm it's 1am now p_q.

Muichiro's pov

I was sitting in front of my estate looking at the clouds. I had a feeling that I forgot about something... but as much as I tried to remember I couldn't. "Maybe I was supposed to train with someone?... or Oyakata-sama called a meeting?" I questioned myself as I pulled my gaze away from the clouds and looked at the ground.

"TOKITO-SAN!!!" I heard someone calling my name from far away. One of the hashira's was running towards me, it was a girl with pink and green hair... I already forgot her name. She ran up to me almost falling three times before finally stopping.

"Did you forget about the meeting again?" She said panting between the words. "So there is a meeting... I knew I forgot about something.." I said quietly but loud enough to be heard by pink hair.

"Come on, we need to hurry." She grabbed my hand "Oyakata-sama said it's important. Apparently some guy has been carrying a demon around"

When we got to the butterfly mansion, everyone was already outside kneeling in front of Oyakata-sama. I recognized everyone beside one guy who was laying on the ground with his hands tied behind his back.

I apologized for being late and kneeled down next to Shi... Shinoa?... butterfly girl. I couldn't get my eyes off that unknown guy... he didn't seem any familiar so I assumed that I'd never met him.... or did I?

He had messy black hair with burgundy tips. Not even talking about his crimson red eyes... They were beautiful... I felt my cheeks heat up. It made me confused, why do I suddenly feel like this?

2 week later

It was around 11pm, I sat on the ground looking at the stars... still thinking about that guy from two weeks ago. It's weird because... In less than a week I most of the time forget everything and everyone.

Someone pulled me by my hair and let out a quiet "Hmh!" I turned around to see a girl with... bamboo in her mouth? "Nezuko!" Someone yelled from far away, and soon a familiar figure ran up to us. It was him... the boy with beautiful crimson eyes.

"Nezuko you can't run off like that" He ruffled her hair and then noticed me "Hey you are the... ehm mist hashira am I right?" I nodded "I see, I am Tanjiro" Tanjiro.... so that's his name.

Tanjiro : What's your name?

Muichiro : Muichiro.... Muichiro Tokito.

Tanjiro : Nice to meet you Muichiro! What are you doing here so late?

Muichiro : I can ask you the same thing.

Tanjiro : Haha right, Nezuko can't go out during the day so I decided to go out with her now. So what about you?

He said smiling, my face turned red again as I said

Muichiro : I just couldn't fall asleep, she's a demon right ?

I said and pointed at the girl who was clinging to Tanjiros arm. "Why does it annoy me so much to see her close to him like that?" I thought

Tanjiro : Yup-

After that we talked for some more time before we both decided to go to sleep, Tanjiro headed to the butterfly mansion while I walked back to my estate.

Later I laid down on my bed and tried to fall asleep.. but I couldn't. My mind was filled with Tanjiro.. all I could think about was Tanjiro... his voice was echoing in my head constantly.

.....

...But that was only the start.. day by day we hangout more and more. The feeling began to grow... but I still had no idea what feeling it was.

I wanted to ask someone about it... but who? There is no one I can talk to about something like that. Wait maybe...

"...just remember you can tell me anything"

"I am here for you Tokito-san, feel free to come to me any time"

"Ugh who was saying that..." I thought and clapped myself across the cheek "Come on remember!"

"T-Tokito-san? What are you doing?"

I quickly turned around to see the pink haired girl again. "Right! She was the one who said that!"

Mitsuri : I made some dango for me and Iguro but he said he wasn't hungry. So I decided to share it with you

She smiled and sat down next to me before handing me one of her dangos.

Muichiro : thank you... there's something I wanted to ask you.

Mitsuri : what is it?

Muichiro : it's about Tanjiro, I can't forget him... it's a bad thing but it's just weird... plus there's this annoying feeling. It makes my whole face red, I suddenly get nervous around him... not even talking about the times when he spoke to someone else instead of me and for some reason I got... really annoyed..

I said and took a bite of the dango. Mitsuri let out a high-pitched yell and pulled me into a hug

Mitsuri : You are in love! I knew it!

Muichiro : i-in love?

She nodded and pulled away from the hug.

Mitsuri : how do you think he feels?

Muichiro : I don't know... even though we hangout a lot.. he's always with that butterfly girl.

Mitsuri : which one

She laughed

Muichiro : ehm.. that one with side ponytail

Mitsuri : oh you mean Kanao, yeah she took care of Tanjiro when he first came here. I guess they got pretty close... but there's no reason to stop trying. You never know who he might like. Maybe he likes you... maybe Kanao...maybe someone else.

Muichiro : Maybe I am just overthinking those feelings... I'll just wait and see

.....

I wasn't overthinking them... but how could I not fall for him... He's so kind, gentle and funny.. and then there's me... I am none of that

"Muichiro!" I turned around to see Tanjiro running to me with his hands behind his back. "Happy birthday!" He yelled and ruffled my hair with one hand still behind his back. "Birthday? It's my birthday?" I thought

"Here!" He handed me a present

Muichiro : Tanjiro I-

Tanjiro : come on, open it!

I began to unwrap the present.

Tanjiro : It's a diary, I know how poor your memory is so I thought I would buy you this so you can write anything in there you want to remember.

I was speechless. What are these feelings on my chest and in my throat? Why do I feel like crying?

Muichiro : T-Thank you...

I said quietly and hugged him.

..........

I was in a butterfly mansion looking for Tanjiro. I heard his laugh coming from one of the rooms. I peeked in to see Tanjiro with K..Kanao.

I immediately walked into the room. Tanjiro noticed me and greeted me while Kanao just stared at me.

Muichiro : wanna hangout?

I asked simply

Tanjiro : of course! Just wait here. I need to talk with Shinobu about something.

He said before walking away from the room. Kanao groaned and said quietly "emotionless freak" but still loud enough to hear.

Muichiro : what did you say?

I said annoedly

Kanao : You better stay away from Tanjiro, he's mine

Muichiro : yours? How funny

Kanao : funny? It's true. I love him and I am sure he feels the same with me.

Muichiro : Tsk.. that's bullshit

Kanao : Bullshit? If you're so skeptical then ask him... why do you even care so much? Are you in love with him or something?

I stayed quiet.

Kanao : Oh my god you are?

She laughed

Kanao : I am sorry to inform you about this but Tanjiro is probably the straightest person I've ever seen.

That was all I heard before I walked away. I walked out of the mansion and waited for Tanjiro. "Is he really in love with her" I clenched my fists and looked at the ground

"No...no! I can't allow that! He can't be with her!"

For the rest of the day I couldn't think of anything else. When it was around 9pm, Tanjiro and I sat on a bench in the forest while looking at the river in front of it. There was a minute of silence before I decided to ask him about the thing with Kanao.

Muichiro :... Kanao told me you like her, is that true?

Tanjiro : L-Like Kanao? Well... she's pretty.. I never told anyone about it or even thought about it...

Muichiro : So you do like her?

Tanjiro : I am not sure. Feeling are something I am stupid with... I just need more time to think... I like her a lot.. but don't know if I... love her.

Muichiro : O-Oh... well it's getting late I should go back to my estate. Let's meet here tomorrow again.

Tanjiro : A-Alright, bye

I quickly walked away without saying anything more. Walking soon turned into running, I ran to my estate as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. "I-Is this the feeling Mitsuri was talking about also? How was it called... jealousy?" I thought and kept running.

When I got to my estate, I dropped on my bed and cried... "I don't even remember the last time I... expressed some kind of emotion... Since the time with Tanjiro... I felt happy... after such a long time of feeling nothing... I can't lose him... I don't want to feel so lifeless no more! I want to feel something... but the only person that makes me feel this way is Tanjiro.... What should I do?...

I thought before falling into a dreamless sleep.

Next day

"Tokito-san where are you going?" Mitsuri asked me as I felt the butterfly mansion "I promised I'll wait for Tanjiro somewhere" Mitsuri's expression changed immediately. I asked her if everything was okay, she just nodded and walked back into the mansion.

I got to the place where we sat with Tanjiro yesterday and waited. I waited 15 minutes... 30 minutes.... 1 hour... then 2 hours. He still didn't come... I kept on waiting until it was getting dark. I still kept telling myself that he'll come sooner or later but he didn't. Just a while later it started raining, so I decided to give up and go back.

As I walked to my estate with my gaze on the ground and with small tears forming in my eyes... but then I heard something. It was Tanjiro's laugh mixed with someone else's. I immediately looked up and saw Tanjiro sitting with Kanao. Kanao had her head laid on Tanjiro's shoulder while they were still laughing.

My heart sank and I stood there still looking at them. "He... left me out for someone like her?!...no...no! I can't let this continue! I have to do something to only make him mine!" I then ran to my estate.

I slammed the door behind me and went to my room. The anger and sadness overwhelmed me. I started knocking things on the floor before I tripped over one and stayed on the ground after that. "I have enough of this..."

"You know what you need to do"

I heard and immediately sat up to look around.

"She's in love with him... and most likely he's with her too..."

Where is the voice coming from? I kept on looking everywhere to find where it was coming from, but I couldn't. I-Is it coming from my head? Am I going crazy?

"Kill her"

I stopped and stared at the floor. "K-Killl her?" When I said it I thought it was stupid and that I can't do something like that... but when I thought about it more and more.... I.. wanted to do it. She doesn't deserve him... only I do.

...........

I waited until midnight and went to Kanao's estate.

I assumed she was already asleep, so I walked around the estate until I found an open window. I climbed in but fell on the floor. I groaned and grabbed my head. Suddenly I heard a noise from another room.

"She must have heard me" I thought and quickly woke up. She soon walked into the room where I was. She turned the light on and went to the window to close it.

I followed right behind her and then pinned her to the wall before she could do anything more. "H-HEY?! WHAT ARE Y-" I took a knife from my pocket and laid it on her neck.

She looked me in my eyes and gulped. "W-what do you want?" She asked. I laughed "Tanjiro... I want Tanjiro"

Kanao : What do you mean you want Tanjiro?! W-Wait is this about those feelings you have for him?

I nodded

Muichiro : He's the only person that manages to make me feel some kind of wait after so long... I can't let anyone take him away from me.

Kanao : THIS IS STUPID! YOU ARE GOING TOO FAR WITH THIS, JUST WAIT UNTIL I TELL THIS TO TANJIRO! YOU ARE INSANE!

Muichiro : Ahaha right... it's so insane the things we do in the name of love...

That was the last thing I said before I stabbed her in the neck and then backed away. Kanao pulled her hand to her neck and looked at the blood that was dripping faster and faster on the floor. She looked at me one last time before falling on the ground unconsciously.

I stared at her body that had a puddle of blood slowly forming under it. I didn't feel anything... I thought I would maybe regret it after I did it but no... I feel nothing.

5 days later

For the past few days I haven't seen Tanjiro anywhere. I looked at the training field, butterfly mansion and asked others if they saw him, they always answered with no.

Until this day when I went to the training field I saw him. My eyes lit up as I immediately ran to him. I hugged him from behind and greeted him. He ruffled my hair and greeted me also, but not with that cheerful voice... with more of the.. bland.. and sad voice.

"What's wrong, you seem sad?" I asked. Tanjiro took a deep breath before bursting into tears. "I-It's Kanao. Someone killed her. I-It was a night when I was outside with her! She asked me to stay the night but I refused! If I stayed nothing like this would happen, it's all my fault!" He yelled and dropped on his knees.

I was speechless. "He is crying because of Kanao... because of her death... I caused her death... I made Tanjiro feel like this... How could I know it'll affect him like this? This is all my fault" I thought and felt tears dripping down my cheeks. I dropped next to Tanjiro and cried out "I-I AM SORRY T-THIS IS ALL MY FAULT"

"What do you mean?" Tanjiro said. "I-I killed her! I am so sorry! I-I j-" Tanjiro interrupted me with "You what?" It sounded so aggressive. The sadness in his voice completely disappeared and only anger could be recognized.

"I-I AM SORRY, Y-YOU WERE GIVING HER MORE ATTENTION THEN TO ME AND I-I COULDN'T STAND IT" I yelled. Tanjiro was quiet before he yelled,

"Attention?... ATTENTION? YOU KILLED HER BECAUSE I WASN'T GIVING YOU ATTENTION! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!"

He grabbed me by my shoulders.

"TELL ME YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS!"

He yelled out. I kept on crying, not being able to say anything. Tanjiro let out of my shoulder realizing I was being serious. He stood up and began to walk away. I stood up also and grabbed him by his hand "I AM SORRY!" I yelled out.

He pushed my hand away and yelled out "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU MURDERER" before leaving. I stood there watching him leave before falling on the ground again and bursting into tears again.

.........

Since that day Tanjiro has avoided me everywhere. Everytime I tried to talk to him he ignored me or just left. I tried to move on... and forget about everything that happened.. but I couldn't. Every single day I regretted everything that happened more and more.

The times I just thought of him and immediately started crying because of how much I missed him... how much I missed his voice, laugh, his hugs and cheerful personality... but I understood that I messed up and couldn't do anything more about it.

Until one day...

I woke up due to my crow yelling at me that Oyakata-sama wishes to see me. When I changed my clothes to my uniform and did other things I headed to the butterfly mansion.

I soon met with Oyakata-sama and asked him why I was supposed to come visit him. He told me about a mission I will be heading to in 2 days. One thing that surprised me was that I'll go on a mission with someone. I was surprised because I normally go on missions myself.

I heard a knock on the door and turned around to see who was knocking. My heart sank when my eyes met with the other person. It was Tanjiro. He was the person I was supposed to go on a mission with.

Tanjiro tried to talk it out with Oyakata-sama, he even suggested going on a mission himself while I sat there in silence still hoping Oyakata-sama wouldn't listen to him and make us both go on a mission together.

And he didn't, he just smiled the whole time Tanjiro was talking and then answered with a simple no. I was glad he made us both go on the same mission... It must be a good time to fix everything.

2 days later

I waited in front of the butterfly mansion for Tanjiro. I was excited I'll spend time with him again but nervous at the same time. Soon Tanjiro walked out of the mansion, I waved at him with a smile but he only walked past me while doing or saying something. It made me a bit sad again but I tried to be positive and force myself to think that sooner or later everything will go back to normal.

Couple hours passed and we didn't say one word to each other. It bothered me... a lot.. I wanted to talk with him again but... about what? How do I start? I was about to say something but Tanjiro interrupted me with "Don't even try talking with me".

As the day passed it was already getting dark and we got closer to the main town where our mission was.

Tanjiro's pov

As we walked thru the town I began to sense a demon not far away from us, and the sense just got stronger with each step I took. Just a second later a demon appeared in front of us. We both grabbed our katanas into our hands tightly and stared at the demon and waited for his next move.

.........

"Tsk this demon is strong" I thought as I sat up from the ground and reached for my katana that was a few meters away from me. Muichiro was still trying to cut the demon's head off even though he looked exhausted. I don't blame him, the demon was really fast... it was hard to keep up with his moves.

The demon suddenly disappeared. I quickly stood up and looked around me and so did Muichiro. I heard something behind me so I looked to see no one. Then there was a loud noise coming from the other side again.

Muichiro was gone, only his katana was laying on the ground next to the demon who was standing there looking at me with a big grin on his face while loundly panting. "Where is Muichiro?" I asked myself and looked around, still not being able to see him anywhere. I began to get worried.

...........

The demon grabbed me by my side and threw me away. I groaned and woke up once more "Where is my k-" I stopped and looked beside me to see Muichiro laying on the ground unconsciously with his head completely covered with blood. Before I could do anything the demon caught up with me again.

....................

I sat on the ground panting, finally... I managed to kill it. I grabbed my side and groaned, I wasn't able to wake up.... but then I remembered Muichiro who I last saw on the ground. It was like I caught another breath and ran immediately to the place where I saw him.

There he was still lying even with more blood forming under his head. I dropped next to him and lifted him up. I shook him a couple of times in hopes of waking him up but nothing helped.

1 week later

It has been a week since the mission.... and a week since I saw Muichiro. He has been in the butterfly mansion in the infirmary. It has... also been a week since Muichiro had fallen into a coma. Even for what he did I couldn't help but worry.

He did murder Kanao... and I still can't believe he would do something like that but... when I think about it more and more... he looked to misserable when he first told me... like he really regreted it... I should have listened to him and get him to explain it to me.

I finished with my training and sat down on the ground while wiping the sweat from my forehead. I was about to drink some water but heard someone yelling my name making the water spill. It was Mitsuri. "What's wrong Mitsuri?" I asked her. She had eyes full of tears but had a big smile on her face. "T-Tokito-san finally woke up!"

When I heard that I dropped the bottle on the floor and ran as fast as I could to the butterfly mansion. I got in front of the infirmary tripping at least five times before I finally stopped. Before I could open the door Shinobu opened them.

"Are you here for Muichiro?" She asked and I nodded. "I see, I just need to inform you about something" "What is it?" "When I asked him what was the last thing he remembers, he said the last thing he remembers is the time you first came here"

"B-But he remembers me right?" I said a panic. "Yes but only the time he first saw you... maybe as the time will pass he will remember more," She said before walking away. "Does that mean he doesn't remember the thing with Kanao?" I asked myself and walked into the room.

Muichiro was sitting on his bed. "Tanjiro?" He said when he saw me. I ran up to him and pulled him into a tight hug with tears already streaming down my face. "W-Why are you crying? Are you okay?" He asked. "I-I am fine.. don't worry about it"

☻word count : 3782☻