✧hope✧

✧angst✧

✧ suggestion by : potatcuzynot ✧

Holy shit I actually finished this 🤌 I sat on a fucking bus and I was bored out of my mind. I wanted to finish this so my ass got fucking nauseous (I hate busses fr fr) but welp yeah, here is this shit.

Muichiro's pov

I sat in the classroom just looking out of the window, not being in the mood to talk with anyone. Suddenly I heard someone enter the classroom, it was Tanjiro.

My cheeks immediately turned red. I smiled and laid my arms on my desk as well as my head on them, staring at Tanjiro.
My smile immediately faded when close behind him was Kanao. They were holding hands while talking to each other.

I felt my mood worsen just by seeing them so happy with each other. I just turned my head away, not wanting to see them being lovey dovey again... because it hurted too much.

I heard a tap on my desk and when I looked in front of me to see Nezuko. "Hello Mui... you look like you saw someone die, is something wrong?"

I just pointed to the other side of the classroom where Tanjiro and Kanao sat. "Oh I see.. hey no need to be sad about it, there is still hope" she said, probably trying to cheer me up somehow.

"There's no hope, Nezuko. He's happy with Kanao, why would he ever pick me" I sighed. Nezuko looked at me sadly and ruffled my hair "come on don't be like this, you are always so negative about things"

"There's no way I can be positive about this, they are together for over a year and I didn't see them fight once, Tanjiro barely talks to me and Kanao is so perfect she didn't even have one bad hair day!"

I yelled out desperately but not loud enough for everyone to hear me. I sighed and felt tears forcing themselves into my eyes "I just don't want to even keep trying... it's no use.."

"Come on.. it'll be fine, it doesn't matter how long they have been together, there is still a chance something between them will break," Nezuko said.

I just sighed and looked at them once, Tanjiro was grabbing Kanao by her cheeks while Kanao tried to pull them away, blushing furiously.

Nezuko grabbed my cheek and made me look away "don't look at them like this, your mood is already bad enough and is just the start of a day, let's do something uhh... wanna play genshin before the lesson starts?"

I nodded and slightly slimed before pulling out my phone "sure!"

...

"Tanjiro! Wanna sit with us at lunch?" Nezuko asked while I just stood behind her, keeping my gaze on the floor.

"Uhh sure but only if Kanao can join as well, I promised to spend lunchtime with her too" Tanjiro replied while getting some stuff from his locker.

"It's Kanao again... I want to spend time alone with him... not with her" I thought to myself, quickly looking at Tanjiro.

"Well I thought that maybe you, me and Muichiro could only hangout," Nezuko said, probably trying to force Tanjiro into leaving Kanao, which sadly didn't work.

"What's your problem with Kanao? You always do this" Tanjiro said, clearly getting annoyed. "You two are always together, it wouldn't hurt if you spend some time with me and Muichiro" Nezuko yelled back at Tanjiro.

"Why would I do that? I am with you 24/7 when I am at home, me and Muichiro barely talk anyway so why would I leave Kanao out for someone like him"

My heart sank. My eyes immediately filled with tears, my body moved on it's own making me run away. "Muichiro, wait!" I heard Nezuko yell but I didn't stop.

I ran into an empty classroom and dropped on the floor next to one of the desks, sobbing into my knees.

"He's right, why would he hang out with someone like me when Kanao is right next to him... he would never pick me" I thought to myself, hugging my knees tighter.

I leaned against the wall and sighed "this sucks, everything sucks, he will never like me, why do I keep trying? Why am I so stupid? Why was I thinking that he would like me back?"

"Muichiro!" I heard someone yell, it was Nezuko. "Are you okay?" She asked and sat down next to me. I didn't even nod, I just hugged my knees tighter and buried my face in them, not wanting her to see me crying.

"I am so sorry for Tanjiro... I don't know what has gotten into him, I guess Kanao is a sensitive topic for him"

"It's fine, he's right, there's no reason for him to hangout with me.."

"Hey it'll be fine, let's keep trying, alright? I promise that I won't give up until I get you two together!"

"Thank you Nezuko but.. no thanks.. it's a waste of time"

"Come on, it's not, hey let's try something, I'll give you Tanjiro's number and you will text him today, try to make some decent friendship with him, then hangout with him and we'll see how it goes, okay?"

"...fine" I sighed. Nezuko smiled and pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back gently "now now, don't cry, I am sure everything will get better sooner or later"

...

When I came home I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I made myself some ramen because I wasn't in the mood to actually cook something and there wasn't anyone to cook for me.

I sat down at the table and started eating my ramen in silence. Only thing that I could hear was me slurping my noodles before I heard meowing.

"Oh, Yui," I said and picked up my cat. I found it one night when I was coming from a store. I named it after my brother because around that time he died and I always wanted to have something to remind me of him.

"You must be hungry.. I should give you something.." I said and placed Yui on the floor. I opened the drawer to see no more cat food there. "Aw man.." I sighed "maybe I have some milk" I thought and walked over to the fridge.

Luckily I did have some. I grabbed a bowl and poured some of the milk in the bowl before laying it on the floor.

Then I suddenly got a text from Nezuko. "Here's Tanjiro's number - - - - - - -, text him, alright?"

I sighed "alright, I will, thanks" I replied simply. "It's no problem Muichiro"

I looked at the phone number worriedly, not being sure if I should text him after what happened today.

Eventually I decided to text him.

"Hi Tanjiro!"

I started. He immediately read it, making me panic.

"Who are you?"

"It's me, Muichiro"

"How did you get my number?"

"Your sister gave it to me"

"Well what do you need?"

"Well, I've been wanting to talk to you more for the past weeks but I couldn't force myself to actually go and talk to you so I thought it'll be easier for me to text you, is that okay? Can we talk?"

I've been waiting for five minutes for his answer, it felt like the entirety.

"Uhh sure I guess"

Was what he replied with.

"Yay! I am glad :D"

I replied, being happy he agreed.

"So what are you doing right now?" I asked, trying to lead some kind of conversation.

"Kanao is making popcorn so I am waiting for her to come back, what about you?"

Oh, she's with him... why am I not suprised.

"I just gave my cat something to eat, I'll probably go watch TV now"

"Oh you have a cat?"

"Yup, I found him could months back"

"Can I see him?"

"Of course!"

After that we were talking for a while before he said "alright, I gtg now, Kanao is getting back at me for not giving her attention, women ☕"

I laughed "that's okay, I need to go too anyway, it was nice to talk to you, bye bye now!"

"Bye"

The chat ended with that and I immediately called Nezuko.

"Idiot I was about to go to the shower so make it quick" was the first thing Nezuko siad when she picked up.

"Me and Tanjiro talked for almost an hour now! I am so happy you don't even know!" I yelled out.

"Yeah? I told you it would be good! I am happy for you!"

...

At that time I was so happy, I continued texting Tanjiro every day from that point on and I thought he enjoyed talking to me but he suddenly stopped texting me, leaving me on seen or just liking my messages.

It made me sad, I was trying so hard to keep in contact with him but it just seemed impossible.

When me and Nezuko walked through school we walked past Tanjiro and Nezuko being Nezuko immediately asked "so how is it going with Tanjiro?"

I looked at the floor sadly "he keeps ignoring my messages... Did I do something wrong? Was I being too annoying?"

"Huh? No no you were just texting him, you didn't do anything wrong... Tanjiro is just.. well Tanjiro, just give it time.. maybe he just needs a break or something or he has nothing to talk about"

"But I am texting him every day! He just won't answer..." I yelled back, being on the edge of tears once again.

"I was so happy for him to talk to me... but now it's just the same as last time... I don't want it to be like last time.." I said quietly.

"Come on Mui... I will fix this, everything is going to be f-"

"No it won't! It won't be fine! Why are you saying it'll be fine?!" i yelled out at Nezuko making her back away "it won't be fine! It was never fine and you keep acting like everything will just magically change!"

Nezuko didn't answer, she just left. When I realized what I had done I looked down, tears filling my eyes.

I quickly rushed away from the hallway, not wanting anyone to see me crying.

...

It was the end of the school, I skipped all the lessons... I just hid in one of the classrooms where no one was that day.

I tried texting Nezuko but she didn't even read those texts. I messed up so badly, I shouldn't have yelled at her, it's not her fault.

"Muichiro! I finally found you!"

It was Nezuko. "N-Nezuko!" I immediately ran over to her and hugged her "I am so sorry for yelling at you! I didn't m-mean-"

"Shh it's okay, I understand you had to get it out of you, I was stupid for leaving like that.."

"I am just.. really sorry" I apologized one more time. "It's okay, don't apologize... are you feeling better now?"

"No.. not really.."

"That's okay, we can hangout today so you get your mind off of things, hm?"

"Sorry.. I can't today.."

"Oh.. okay, well.. tomorrow?"

"Sure.."

Nezuko's pov

"Nezuko? Have you seen my phone?" Tanjiro said when he walked into my room. "Last time I saw it it was downstairs in the kitchen"

"Can you help me look for it?"

"Sure"

I stood up and looked around for Tanjiro's phone.

After a while, I found it "Tanj-" I stopped myself when I saw multiple texts from Kanao. I got an idea.

I opened the chat with Kanao and texted "Kanao, I don't think it's working out between us, I think it would be best for us to break up" before blocking her.

"Tanjiro! I found your phone!"

Muichiro's pov

"Aww such a cute kitty.." Nezuko said while hugging Yui. "Nezuko leave him alone, we will be late for school"

"Yeah yeah fine, so will we hangout today?" She asked. I looked down and slightly nodded "sure.."

...

When we got to school Nezuko kept on looking around like she was looking for someone. "Are you looking for someone?" I asked.

"Tanjiro and Kanao, let's just say I did something and I want to see if those love birds will still date"

"Nezuko, what did you do?" I asked.

"Don't worry, it's nothing drastic, lets just find them"

"They are in class with us, we can just wait for them in class"

"You're right, let's go"

...

We got to class and sat down at our seats, waiting for Tanjiro and Kanao to come. Nezuko was smiling the whole time which clearly gave off that she did something.

Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and Tanjiro with Kanao walked in, holding hands and talking like nothing happened.

"What?! How?!" Nezuko whispered. I sighed and looked at my desk "it's fine, now we both know that nothing just can't separate them" I said quietly.

"I am sorry Mui.."

"It's okay, don't apologize... it's my fault with getting my hopes up and expecting something that clearly won't ever happen"

After school

"I'll go home and get some things and then I'll go right to your place"

"Sounds good" I replied and we both went our way. Before I left the school building I saw Kanao with Tanjiro, kissing.

That was the last thing I wanted to see at that moment. My day was already shit and this just made it worse.

I just ran away as fast as I could, not looking back.

...

I got home and immediately dropped on my bed, sobbing. I was done with this. It hurted so much, I can't take this any more.

I stood up and went to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and grabbed a razor from my cabinet.

"...this will end here, I am done.. I give up... you won, Tanjiro..."

...

Word count : 2335