•his smile•

•fluff / angst•

Tanjiro's pov

When I came from the mission with Tengen I had some time to get to know other demon slayer's and hashira's. I already talked with almost everyone and was with them on mission too, but there were two hashira's that were different from others. Their names are Sanemi Shinazugawa and Muichiro Tokito. I tried talking to Sanemi, who was just rude or ignored me, but with Muichiro it was different. I did talk to him a couple times but the next day he didn't even know who I was. I already gave up on talking with Sanemi and I planned on giving up on Muichiro also before Mitsuri told me something about him.

"Oh Muichiro. Well when I first saw him it was only for a really short time. Oyakata-sama brought him here after he and his family were attacked by a demon. He stayed here for a couple days before he got better. He then left and just two months later he was here again but now as a new hashira. Oyakata-sama said that he has amnesia or something like that, it was caused by a trauma. I have never seen him smile either... I guess that's all I know... "

After that I decided to try again and try to make him remember me. I looked around the butterfly mansion but still couldn't find him, until I came to the training field. I saw him training so I decided to watch him for a while. Some time later I noticed that Muichiro was acting odd, he was breathing really heavily and coughed a lot. I began to get a bit worried so I woke up and walked up to him to stop him. I tapped on his shoulder and he turned around immediately,

Tanjiro : hey, I am sorry i-

Muichiro : who are you? What do you want?

Tanjiro : well I am Tanjiro and I wanted to talk to you and get to know you. When I saw you training I watched you f-for a while but then I noticed you were acting a bit odd. I was wondering if you are okay.

Muichiro : I am fine, just leave me alone. Why would you want to talk to me? I'll forget you anyways...

Tanjiro : that's why I am talking to you. I want to try to get you to remember me.

Muichiro : don't waste your time like that.

He said as he coughed again. He covered his mouth with his hand and when he pulled away there was blood on his hand. My eyes widened as I looked at his hand. He just wiped the blood into his uniform and wasn't bothered by that any longer.

Muichiro : what?

Tanjiro : you just coughed blood and you are just asking me what?

Muichiro : It's normal by now. It's probably just from training.

Tanjiro : normal by now? you should get some rest. You've been training for a long time.

Muichiro : yeah right a long time... I train longer than this. I need to get stronger than this. I am so weak right now and I can't stand it.

Tanjiro : if you were weak you wouldn't be a hashira.

Muichiro : I became hashira just because I trained every single day. I vomited blood just to get better. I managed to become a hashira but it's not enough. Even though I am a hashira, I am the weakest one from all of them.... Now leave me alone.

Tanjiro : what makes you think that?

I said as he looked away.

...

Muichiro : Look at her, you always tell me how strong she is! I have to stand behind and watch how she defeats everyone while I am not allowed!

//// - YES, BECAUSE SHE CAN FIGHT, YOU CAN NOT! SHE CAN DEFEAT DEMONS, YOU CAN NOT! SHE IS STRONG, WHILE YOU ARE WEAK! WHY WON'T YOU GET IT? YOU CAN'T FIGHT ON YOUR OWN.

...

Muichiro :... no reason...

He said and went back to training. I was a bit shocked that even though he coughed blood he went back to the training.

Next day - 2 pm

I walked around the mansion looking for Muichiro. As I said, I am not going to give up that easily after what Mitsuri and Muichiro himself told me. I was thinking if his amnesia is that bad that he'll forget me in one day. I suddenly bumped into someone. I looked up and I saw Uzui.

Tanjiro : Oh hey Uzui. Sorry I bumped into you

Uzui : It's fine. Are you looking for someone?

Tanjiro : actually, yes. Do you know where Muichiro is?

Uzui : Ah Muichiro. Well I haven't seen him all day but he's mostly on a training field. If you want to talk to him go there, if he's not there just wait he'll come soon or later.

Tanjiro : okay thank you

I said as I waved at him and then walked away. When I got to the training field Muichiro was already there. I walked up to him and said,

Tanjiro : Hey Muichiro

He turned around to face me. He was looking at me for some time until he said,

Muichiro : who are you?

I sighed and looked at the ground.

Tanjiro : aww I thought you would remember me.

Muichiro : wait, have we already talked?

Tanjiro : yes, yesterday

He didn't answer. He just looked at the ground.

Tanjiro : but that's okay! I am not gonna give up that easily!

...

After the training I followed Muichiro to his estate. He kept on saying that I shouldn't waste my time like this and that it's pointless to talk to him. That he will forget me anyways. It made me sad that he thinks that. That his amnesia is stopping him from making relationships with others.

We got to his estate and sat down outside.

Tanjiro : so let me tell you something about myself.... and then you will repeat it.

He looked at me and nodded slightly.

Tanjiro : so I am Tanjiro Kamado. I am 16 and I have a little sister called Nezuko. Now repeat it.

Muichiro : ehm.. your name is Tanjiro Ka.. Kanado?.. you are 16 and you have a little sister called... ehm..

This will be harder than I thought.

Tanjiro : almost. My name is Tanjiro Kamado not Kanado.

He nodded and looked down.

...

Then we talked for some more before I realized how late it already was. Even though we talked for a quite long time I still couldn't get him to remember most of the things. One time he knew my name the other time he got it wrong and got my age right. I stood up and told Muichiro that I'll meet with him tomorrow again. He nodded.

...

Next day I felt excited to meet with Muichiro again. I was telling myself that after talking so much yesterday he must remember something, right?

I looked around the training field to see if Muichiro was there but he wasn't. I thought about where he could be. "Maybe he's at his estate?" I thought and walked away from the training field.

When I got to his estate I knocked on his door and waited for someone to open it. He eventually opened them and just looked at me.

Muichiro : do I...know you?

I just looked at him. Oh he actually doesn't remember me... I was about to say something but then I noticed something. He looked really tired and exhausted.

Tanjiro : Yes we talked a couple times.

Muichiro : oh... do you need something?

Tanjiro : I wanted to talk to you like yesterday but.. I guess you don't remember me haha.

I said and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

Muichiro : I see... I am sorry?

Tanjiro : no don't apologize it's okay... so can I come in?

He nodded and opened the door for me. I came in and sat down at the table. Muichiro sat down in front of me and asked me about the conversation yesterday. I explained everything but he still didn't remember.

Tanjiro : *sigh* Okay, so let's start again. My n-

Muichiro : Why...

Tanjiro : what?

Muichiro : Why are you doing this... why are you wasting your time like this... Even if you try.. I'll forget you anyways

Muichiro said still with a blank face.

Tanjiro : we still can try, I don't w-

Muichiro : no.

He said. I was looking at him with a shocked look. He can't give up this easily...

Muichiro : please just leave.

Muichiro said and stood up, I followed him and grabbed him by his wrist but he pushed me away. He was about to say something but he stopped and leaned against the wall. He was panting a lot, like he's gonna pass out any time. As I said he looked exhausted, probably from training. Who knows how long he's been training.

Tanjiro : you don't look so good. Let me help you sit down.

He refused and tried to push me away again but he was too weak to do so. I sat him down on the chair and gave him a glass of water.

Tanjiro : you should look after yourself more. How long have you been training?

Muichiro : why do you care? Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?

Tanjiro : I can't leave you here like this. You look like you're gonna pass out.

He didn't say anything after that, he just took a sip of the water I gave him and laid his head on the palm from his arm.

Tanjiro : Can you now tell me how long have you've been training?

Muichiro : I don't even know.. I went outside when the sun wasn't even out. I then trained for a couple hours and then came back here...

Tanjiro : you can't push yourself this much.. It's not good for your health..

Muichiro : hm...

...

It was around 2pm when I decided to check on Muichiro again. Yesterday he didn't remember a single thing about me but now I believe he'll remember at least something.

I knocked on the door to his estate. Just a minute later Muichiro opened the door. I prayed that he at least remembers my name.

Muichiro : emm.. Tanoru?

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe that he actually remembered me. I touched both of his shoulders and said,

Tanjiro : You don't even know how glad I am that you remembered me!

Muichiro took off my arms from his shoulders and nodded slightly.

Tanjiro : are you feeling better?

He nodded again and looked at the ground. He then walked inside and just a minute later walked up to me with his katana and asked me.

Muichiro : Do you... wanna train with me?

Tanjiro : o-of course! but why so suddenly... just yesterday you didn't even want to talk to me.

Muichiro : I don't know... I wrote about you in my diary so I can remember you. Yesterday you seemed so.... caring... I like that..... I wanted someone like this for.. a long time..

I couldn't believe what I heard. How long it's been since I started talking to him... Just a couple days.. not even a week. I known it. We are already making steps in just a short time!

I smiled at Muichiro and began walking to the training field as he followed right behind me.

After two hours of training I couldn't keep up with Muichiro anymore. "How can he say that he's weak? I couldn't beat him a single time" I thought and dropped to my knees.

Tanjiro : give me a minute. I need to catch my breath.

Muichiro : but it's been only around two hours. How could you be this tired?

Tanjiro : y-you're not?

Muichiro : no, I could go on for another 2 hours, but if you want you can rest. I'll just train alone.

Tanjiro : you should rest too.

I said and stood up. He shook his head and said,

Muichiro : no no I am fine. I don't need to rest.

I took his hand and led him outside the training field and sat him down on a fallen tree. I sat down next to him and opened a bottle of water and took a sip. Muichiro just looked at me and then looked at his katana. As always there was no emotion in his face but I could sense the sadness coming from him. I closed the bottle and sat down closer to Muichiro.

Tanjiro : something wrong?

Muichiro : no.. nothing

Tanjiro : don't lie. I could sense the sadness just from looking at you.

Muichiro : you..can?

...

"USELESS USELESS USELESS! HOW DO YOU WANT TO AVENGE YOUR FAMILY LIKE THIS! YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGHT PROPERLY"

/////// screamed at me as I dropped on the ground while holding my stomach. I placed my hand over my mouth to stop what was coming. He kicked my side and I fell on my back. I immediately sat up and couldn't hold the blood in my mouth anymore.

"how fucking pathetic... voming bood again..."

I wiped my mouth from the blood and looked at the ground holding tears back. He pulled me by my hair to make me face him.

"NOW STAND UP AND GO AND TRAIN AGAIN!'

...

Muichiro : ehm I mean. There's nothing wrong I-I am not sad.

He said and held his katana thighter.

Tanjiro : don't lie...

Muichiro : I don't. I am fine.

Muichiro said, woke up and went back to training. There's no way I am trusting him. There must be something bothering, but I am not gonna ask him. Maybe he just needs more time to trust me enough to tell me.

...

Couple weeks have passed since then. I've been visiting Muichiro every time I could. There were many times when Muichiro forgot something but he tried as much as he could. We trained together many times too and of course he beat me every single time, but he always praised me that I am getting better, but there was still something that was bothering me... I never seen him smile or express any emotions. Until one day.

I was at the butterfly mansion talking to Mitsuri. She was asking about Muichiro. How did I get such a relationship with him in a couple weeks while she tried for almost 6 months already. I was about to tell her about it but then someone tapped on my shoulder. It was Muichiro.

Tanjiro : hey Mui we were just talking about you. Do you need something?

He nodded and said,

Muichiro : Oyakata-sama said that I have another mission in three days... I was wondering... do you want to go with me?

Tanjiro : of course!

...

3 days already have passed and it was time to go on a mission with Muichiro. I still couldn't believe that he asked me to go with him. It's true, our relationship was getting better and better.

Around 8pm we were already close to the place where the mission was. It was in a small village surrounded by forest. People kept on disappearing there and everyone bealieved there were a couple demons causing it.

We walked around the town while looking around. There was nobody there, only us. Everyone was afraid of going outside at night. Couple minutes later I could sense the demon around us. Muichiro noticed too and placed his hand on his katana. Just a second later there was a demon running towards us. Muichiro dodged his attack but I reacted too late. The demon scratched my arm. I looked at it and thought, "it's bleeding a lot"

Muichiro : A-Are you okay?!

I nodded and looked back at the demon.

...

(I know that Tanjiro isn't weak like this but it's for fanfic purposes-)

Minutes later we were still fighting that one demon. He was so fast, I couldn't keep up with him even if I tried as much as I could.... even Muichiro was struggling to keep up with him. When I think I can use my breathing to cut off his neck he's immediately somewhere else.

When I thought I could finally kill him I sensed another demon around. I informed Muichiro who was now still trying his best to kill the demon. I was so focused on the other demon that I completely forgot about the second one. "TANJIRO BEHIND Y-" That was all I could hear before I blacked out.

Muichiro's pov

"TANJIRO BEHIND YOU!" I screamed at Tanjiro because there was another demon right behind him, but when I said it, it was already late. The demon took Tanjiro by his body and slammed him on the ground. My eyes widened. "T-Tanjiro" I said and the anger overtook me. I am not gonna let anyone hurt Tanjiro like this!

" YOU ARE SO USSELES "

" DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'LL BECOME A HASHIRA LIKE THIS?! "

" JUST GIVE UP "

I am not gonna give up this easily. I am gonna kill these demons even if it takes hours.

Tanjiro's pov

When I woke up all I could hear was so loud noises. I turned around to see Muichiro still fighting the demons. I tried to stand up but I couldn't, I touched my side and I felt something. I looked at my hand... blood. I just sat there trying to calm my breath and stop the bleeding but it wasn't helping.

Many minutes later Muichiro finally killed the demons. He dropped his katana on the ground and looked at me. I was sitting on the ground still holding my side. Muichiro immediately came running to me and hugged me. I hugged back. Muichiro then pulled away and I looked him in the face. Tears. My eyes widened. This was the first time I saw him express any emotions.

Muichiro : I am so sorry I should h-have trained more. I couldn't even keep u-up with the demons. I didn't even manage t-to protec-

Tanjiro : shh it's okay.

I said and wiped his tears.

Tanjiro : It's not your fault that I got hurt. It's my fault that I am this weak. You killed those demons on your own. Don't blame yourself like this.

He nodded and.. smiled still with tears in his eyes.

I couldn't believe it. He actually smiled.

I pulled Muichiro into a hug again.

•word count : 3022•