♪hanahaki♪

♪fluff / angst♪

♪hanahaki - is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or so one-sided love begins to vomit or  cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breating impossible♪

Muichiro's pov

I sat in my estate watching the rain drops race down my window. I was thinking about the other day when I was walking from training with Tanjiro. I started coughing and thought it was nothing serious but when I looked at my sleeve I covered my mouth with, there was a rose petal on top of it. Every time I coughed petals kept coming and it was getting more painful day by day.

I was at the butterfly mansion in the library looking for some book about it. I was looking everywhere but there was nothing.

"Muichiro ? what are you doing here this late ?"

I looked behind me to see Tanjiro

Muichiro : just got bored. Also can't sleep

Tanjiro : Okay then. Dont stay up to late

He ruffled my hair and then walked away. I kept looking for some book that would tell me what was wrong with me but after he left ,my throat closed up and the sudden urge to vomit. I quickly rushed to the nearest washroom. As soon as I made it I started to throw up more petals then I ever before. The large lump I felt in my throat moved up causing my breathing to hitch. I gag trying to free my airways and with that a large rose bud fell from my mouth and into the pile of petals left in the toilet. I took some deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

Next day

I was walking around the mansion not knowing what to do. I was still confused about what happened yesterday.

Mitsuri : Muichiro!

I looked behind to see Mitsuri running to me

Mitsuri : I was looking for you everywhere, I finally found you. Do you mind helping me with something?

Muichiro : with what?

Mitsuri : Shinobu asked me to clean her office when she'll be on a mission.

Muichiro : okay, I'll help

Then we went to Shinobu's office. While cleaning I saw a book called "lost spirit". I pick it up and look at it.

Mitsuri :... it's an interesting book you should try it

Mitsuri said standing behind me

Muichiro : What is it about?

Mitsuri : its about a girl who fell in love with one guy. The problem was he already had a girlfriend. There was also a flower growing in her lungs making her cough and vomit petals. The flower in the end caused her to choke to death. The disease is called hanahaki

Muichiro : oh okay I'll read it ...also is the disease real or just fictional?

Mitsuri : I am not sure

After we cleaned her office I went to my estate to read the book. When I got home my throat started to itch causing me to cough again and a bunch of petals fell from my mouth. When I finished I picked them up and threw them into trash. I lay down on the couch and started reading. After some time I started to get sleepy and without knowing I fell asleep.

It was around 7 am when I woke up because someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw Tanjiro.

Tanjiro : goooood morning sleepy head

Muichiro : o-oh good morning

Tanjiro : Rengoku told me you got training and that I should go wake you up

Muichiro :okay, thank you

I sit up and went to my room to change my clothes. While I was changing I felt my throat itching again. I tried to hold back the cough but I couldn't, I started coughing again and it was even more painful then last time. I looked at my sleeve and there were petals covered in blood. I was a bit shocked because those petals I coughed up last time were not covered in blood. I threw them in the trash and went back to the living room.

Tanjiro : Are you okay? I heard you coughing, are you sick?

Muichiro : no no I am fine don't worry... I'll go now

Tanjiro : Do you want me to help you with training ? I have nothing to do anyways

I agreed and we walked to the training round. While we were walking I started coughing again, I used my sleeve to cover my mouth. I coughed some petals again. I just threw them on the ground so Tanjiro won't notice. We got to the training field and started training. When we finished we sat on a fallen tree nearby and rested a little.

Tanjiro : hey can I tell you something but promise me you wont tell anyone

Muichiro : o-okay... I won't

Tanjiro :... I like someone..

Muichiro : who?

Tanjiro : Kanao

I felt my stomach drop and felt my eyes water. Tanjiro was always a great friend, someone I actually believed when I became a hashira. He was always someone important to me. I like him in every way but him saying that he likes someone made me feel horrible....." do I like Tanjiro?" I asked myself.

Muichiro : o-oh that's nice.... I'll go now

Tanjiro : already ? okayy then

I waved at him before leaving. I thought about that hanahaki disease again. I wanted to convince myself that it's just fictional but every single symptom that girl had .... I have too. When I got to my estate I grabbed my phone and googled "hanahaki cures".... there was only one and that was "confess and don't get rejected "wow how useful.. I laid my phone down and fell asleep.

I woke up again because I could feel my throat closing up, not letting me breathe. I ran to the bathroom and leaned against the sink as I coughed up more petals. I finally stopped coughing and could breathe normally. I took some deep breaths and wiped my tears and some blood dripped from my mouth. I hate this. I hate myself. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who won't ever love me back.

I washed my face with some water and went back to the living room. Yesterday I thought many times about telling someone about this, and that maybe they'll help me somehow.... but I didn't. When I looked at the clock ,it was around 3pm. I decided to go for a walk because I had nothing to do.

While I was outside I was thinking about something and did not pay much attention to the outside. I was thinking about what Tanjiro told me yesterday "I like someone.....Kanao" why did I feel like crying. Is it because of him...that I cough petals everytime I only think of him...t- I stopped myself from thinking. I heard someone behind me, when I looked behind me I saw....oh..Tanjiro

Tanjiro : thank god you finally stopped. I was screaming at you but you didn't stop

Muichiro : oh sorry...I guess I spaced out

Tanjiro : its fine... I wanted to ask you two things

Muichiro : okay

Tanjiro : 1 if you want to hangout with me and Kanao and 2 if you are okay because you have been acting a bit odd

Muichiro : no thanks and yeah I am fine

Tanjiro : you sure? I am always here for you

Muichiro : Yeah I am fine...just fine

Then I walked away leaving Tanjiro there. Some time later I sat under a tree just emotionally drained. One part of me wanted to run to Tanjiro crying and tell him everything but I couldn't. When I first met Tanjiro everything was way better than now. He was just a friend but now I can't take him that way anymore. I want him to be something more but I know I couldn't force him.

It was already dark. I stared at the stars in the sky. I forgot about the meeting and I wasn't hungry so I didn't bother going for dinner. I sat up and decided to walk back to my estate. While walking I saw Kanao and Tanjiro sitting with each other at the lake. Part of me wanted to walk away but the other part wanted to stay and watch them. So I stayed, I hid behind the tree and watched them. 10 minutes passed and Kanao sat closer to Tanjiro and then touched the hand he had behind his back. I didn't really mind it before she kissed him. My heart dropped. I didn't know what I felt ,sadness? Jealousy?. I just ran away with tears in my eyes.

Next day

I awoke to the sound of knocking. I woke up and looked in the mirror. My eyes were all red and sore from crying. I didn't care, I just walked to the door and there was Tanjiro again.

Tanjiro : hey Muichiro... oh my god are you okay, your e-

Muichiro : I am fine just tell me why are you here

Tanjiro : don't pretend like you don't know.. I saw you yesterday when I was with Kanao..

Muichiro : Okay? just leave me alone I am not in the mood

Tanjiro : Muichiro please... just tell me what's wrong with you. I know there's something wrong with you . I just want to help you!

Muichiro : YOU CAN'T YOU'VE ONLY MADE IT WORSE

Tanjiro : w-what do you mean

He said with shocked face

Tanjiro : Muichiro, tell me! What have I done wrong!

It wasn't his fault. Tanjiro's face just made me feel worse. The sadness and confusion in his face. I felt like I was gonna cough again but day by day it was getting worse and worse. The pain I was feeling now was like someone had taken a knife and stabbed my neck. I started coughing and dropped to my knees. Tanjiro tried to help me but he still didn't know what was wrong with me. Petals fell on the ground from my mouth. Blood was dripping from my mouth too. All I could remember was Tanjiro freaking out not knowing what to do as I just blacked out.

When I woke up, I was laying in bed with Tanjiro sitting next to me.

Tanjiro : Muichiro ?

I sit up and just looked at my hands

Tanjiro: ...how long?

Muichiro : ...uhm...awhile

Tanjiro : Why didn't you tell me?

Muichiro : I didn't know what was wrong with me. The first time I coughed the petals was when you met me in the library... I was looking for a book about it... I was trying to force myself to think its not hanahaki...but...it is... I didn't want to worry you too

Tanjiro : YOU IDIOT. IT'S A DEADLY DISEASE..... who's that person you love

...

Tanjiro : WHO IS IT

I looked at Tanjiro. He had tears in his eyes. "Did I make Tanjiro cry?" I asked myself as tears fell from my cheeks.

Muichiro : I-I can't

Tanjiro : I lost a lot of people... I don't want you to be one of them

...

Muichiro : o-okay... I-I .... I LIKE YOU

As soon as I said that, Tanjiro's expression changed to surprise.

Tanjiro : w-...I don't know what to say

Muichiro : yeah.... that's why I didn't want to tell you ..... I didn't want to tell you because you like Kanao... yesterday I saw you kiss

Tanjiro : You saw that ! no no it's not what you think... I l-

He didn't even finish and I started coughing again but it was worse than ever before. My throat felt like it was on fire. I begged for air but I couldn't breathe. My vision started to blur and just as suddenly blacked out again.

When I woke up Tanjiro was still sitting next to me

Tanjiro : thank god you are awake. I didn't finish what I wanted to s-

Muichiro : it's fine Tanjiro ... it's fine if you don't like me back

Tanjiro : No Muichiro ... the fact is that I... I love you

Muichiro : what... but what ab-

Tanjiro : I don't care about Kanao . I do like her but the time she kissed me I didn't feel anything....

I couldn't believe what he said...... I started crying again as Tanjiro hugged me

Tanjiro : When you started to act differently. I never thought it was hanahaki what made you avoid me... I tried to move on and talk to other people but... when you passed out in my arms today... I realized my feelings for you never left"

♪word count : 2111♪