The thing I love most about the club Wild Stallions is the music selection. They play the expected dance-pop music, most of which I couldn't tell you who the artists were; but it's catchy and fun so I don't mind it. The neat part is that they mix it up by playing slow songs. Most of the slow songs are country, stuff I know all the lyrics to.

However, they also play some pretty random stuff. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just leads people to scratching their heads, pausing their fun to go get drinks from the bar.

"Never been here before," Dave says as we grab drinks, a Coke for me, a Sprite for him.

Before we came I had stopped home, changing into my go-to comfy short sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and skater shoes. I hadn't bothered to do anything with my hair, because I knew I'd just get sweaty.

I look at him, genuinely surprised. Dave shrugs.

"I usually stick to The 212 Club."

That made sense, being Amarillo's best gay spot.

"Well," I tell him, "if ya don't like it here, we can leave."

Dave grins, taking my hand. "So long as you're by my side I'll like it no matter where we are."

As soon as the words slip out, Dave looks downright mortified. Even with the crazy lighting I can see a blush explode on his face. I chuckle, sipping my drink.

"I am so sorry," he moans, covering his face with one hand. "That was stupid and cheesy."

Now a grin. "Maybe I like stupid and cheesy."

Dave raises his eyebrows. "Are you mocking me?"

I plant a swift kiss on his cheek. "You'd know if I was mocking you, Dave."

He smiles at me, the color in his face starting to return to normal.

When we're done with our drinks, I lead him onto the dance floor.

Beat of the Music by Brett Eldredge is up first. The song, even though it's about a woman, used to remind me of Orion. As Dave and I dance, I'm happily replacing that memory with this one...Dave and I here, dancing.

After a few expected, club-y songs, Loud and Heavy by Cody Jinks plays. That one...that one is a bit harder to shake. They lyrics definitely reminded me of him. I force myself to be in the now, putting my hands on Dave's hips. He grins, placing both his arms on my shoulders.

Up next is Unapologize by Carrie Underwood. This one...I never really associated it with Orion before. But now my mind seems to be bent on him, so immediately my brain starts jumping to all the times we kissed. At one point I literally shake my head. When Dave looks at me, confused, I merely laugh and dance more.

I sit out (as do many others) Losing My Religion by R.E.M. Dave and I go back to the bar, and we both order water. As we catch our breath, I suddenly feel absolutely terrible. I feel so horrible that here I am, with my current boyfriend, and thoughts of my ex kept weaving in and out of my head.

My mind shoves a memory to the forefront of my mind, and it plays in my head like a movie; I'm helpless to put a stop to it.

We were in Orion's basement. He had a karaoke machine. It was late at night. Jake and Ben had come over for dinner, and had stayed to hang out. This was after Orion's first rehab stint, so we were all just enjoying each other's company and singing.

Orion had picked that R.E.M song. He sang it perfectly-of course he sang it perfectly. I wasn't a fan of theirs, but that is one of those songs that just permeates everything. It clung through the ages, one of those songs everyone knew and either loved it or hated it.

When he was done singing, he had walked over to me, flopping down on the couch at my side. Orion had grinned at me.

"Did you know that song was about unrequited love?" Orion asked.

"No it's not," I had told him. "That's what a lot of people think, but it's not."

Orion had furrowed his brow then. He gave me a very signature Orion look, his head cocked to one side. "Yes it is. Stipes himself has said so in interviews."

"The term 'losing my religion' means when someone gets angry and being rude, or to become exasperated," I tell him. "I know a lot of people think the song is about religion, but it's not. It's about getting angry."

"No it's not," he insisted.

I remember I had rolled my eyes then. "Darling-I'm from the south. It's where the term comes from. It's about getting angry."

"I'm about to lose my religion," Orion half-growled, and I could tell he was also half-serious.

"Um, guys?"

It was Ben who had so politely, almost timidly, interrupted us.

I swiveled my head while Orion looked slightly homicidal at Ben.

"What?" we both said together.

"You're both right," Ben said.

"What?" Orion had snapped, going back to his cute, perplexed, 'I'm confused so I'm just going to sit here with my head turned to the side as I give you an adorable little smile' look.

"Stipes got the term from the original southern meaning, but it's a song about love. It's supposed to be a sad love song."

I look at Orion and he looks as dumbfounded as I feel.

At that point, Jake had cracked up. "Jesus you guys. Haven't you ever heard of the internet?"

"I thought I was right so I didn't need to look it up," Orion had exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

I don't remember much else from that night, but there was lots of laughter, which makes me smile as I take a sip of my water now.

After that, I bring Dave back to the dance floor. We dance for a few songs, uninterrupted by my busy mind. All I see is Dave, all I can smell is his scent as he's up against me, dancing like his life depended on it. It was hot, it was sweet. It made me think that, maybe, given time, I could learn to love this man dancing with me.

All that comes to a screeching halt when a song starts playing that I recognize immediately. Tom T. Hall's voice starts singing a rather silly song. It's so beautiful in its sweet simplicity. It's a song that always, always, will make me think of Orion.

I know I won't be able to replace the song I Love with any thoughts, memories, and feelings other than ones that revolve around Orion. And even as I dance with Dave, and I know I'm smiling sweetly at him, and he's smiling so charmingly back, I feel absolutely terrible. I'm smiling at Dave but my heart is smiling at Orion.

"Let's go," I tell Dave when we're done dancing to that song.

"What?" Dave asks, giving me a small pout. "Why?"

"'M tired," I tell him in half-truth. "It's been a long day for me."

Dave kisses my cheek and then takes me hand, smiling. "Sure."

"Ah, shit," Dave says when we walk out. "I didn't know it was gonna rain."

For a little bit we stand underneath the club's eve. I hold my hand out, allowing it to get wet as thunder rumbles in the distance.

"Make a run for it?" Dave asks.

I grin, grab his hand, and pull him forward. He starts to hurry off but I yank him back, pulling him to me.

"What're you doing?" he sputters.

I wrap my arm around his waist and take his hand in my other hand. "Dancing."

Dave looked up for a moment. "But it's raining."

"So?" I say with a wide grin. "A little rain never hurt no one."

So we dance to no music, out in the rain like two crazy people. I'm trying my damnedest to create a fun memory with Dave. Just him and I, beneath the sky that's weeping on top of us. Try as I might though, all I can think about is the fact I never danced with Orion in the rain, and I'd remedy that in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.

I realize all at once, as I spin Dave and he laughs, that I think I've made a grave mistake.