Vent Warning:

Dammit I hate this

I hate being the reason that situations get awkward and bad

It's always me

I'm trying too hard but sometimes it's never enough

I say something that I didn't mean to say in a bad way and everyone gets silent

Everyone is literally wondering why I exist

It's always my fault

I keep hurting others without knowing

I just hate this
I hate myself
I hate it because I'm just so dumb and clueless

I'm deciding whether I should really push myself away from others

But then they'd PROBABLY get too worried (which I really doubt) and try to reach out to me. Then I'll only make things worse when I express myself to them

Dammit I'm even doing it right now

I hate this

I hate my decision making

I hate being this kind of friend who is not even slightly a part of things. The friend who makes too many mistakes. The friend who just doesn't know crud.

I'm not saying I want someone else to be in my position

But I just wish I could stop being myself

I really hate myself to try so hard and try not to be anyone at all because I'll never be in a position that I'll ever fit in

I literally don't fit in anywhere

I feel like so many words are actually choking me and my lungs are suffocation and struggling to breathe while my body stays frozen and wishes I was in a coffin already

In fact, the only place I will ever fit in is a coffin.

Anyway, that's the rest of the vent

I'm sorry ya'll

Just a lot of stuff on my shoulders pff

Anyway, I don't think I'll be working on any drawings tomorrow but hopefully I will if I'm willing to try and survive