5

Shivangi rolled her eyes as her parents took their own time admiring her and taking turns in clicking her picture.

"Amma late aachu!" Shivangi whined

(Mom, I am getting late)

"Iru. Nee inniku romba azhaga iruka. Naan photo pudichukiren."Her mother said straightening her phone.

(You are very pretty toady. Let me click some photos)

Shivangi had agreed to sing in a small function today. Usually she doesn't agree to sing for small gatherings, but her trustworthy coordinator vouched that it was a wonderful opportunity if she sings classical music in small crowd before she can in large ones. Shivangi has been thinking of venturing into classical music as that has been her parents' dream always. So, she reluctantly agreed.

Since it was all about tradition, Shivangi wore a purple silk saree and a green blouse to match it. Her mother saw this as an opportunity to dress her up like she always wants and in spite of Shivangi's protest made her wear jumkas, make up and round bindi.

Now, her parents, saying that they have never seen her so beautiful are clicking her picture in all possible angle.

"Amma, late aagudhu. Function 7 O' clock."

(Mom, function is at 7)

"Oru minute." Her mother convinced. "Oru full photo, okay? Namba pinne maapla paakum bodhu idhu avangaluku anupalam."

(One full length photo. We can use it to send to a suitor)

"Maapila paakareengala?" Shivangi asked shocked and glared at her parents. What is their new obsession with her marriage?

(Suitor?)

"Adhu future la paakanum illa." Her mother stood her ground.

(We will use in future)

Shivangi had enough, she picked her bag and phone before rushing out not paying heed to her parents' excuses.

Shivangi's coordinator had sent her an address and said it was only for an hour where Shivangi is expected to sing few devotional songs in the house warming of a new house where they are also inaugurating a small Lord Ganesh temple.

"Andha kovil kumbabishegam dan main. Neenga vinayagar paatu paadunga." Her coordinator advised her.

(It is a temple inauguration.You can sing Lord Ganesh songs)

Uber dropped her in front of a duplex house that was beautifully decorated with bright flowers. She spotted the said temple to the right of the gate where her coordinator was waiting for her.

"Late aaiducha?" Shivangi asked

(Am I late?)

Her coordinator assured her she was on time and took her to an elderly woman who was the owner of the house and insisted on booking Shivangi's gig.

"Vaa ma." The elderly woman greeted with bright smile and Shivangi was hit a wave of recognition though she couldn't clearly place where she had seen this woman.

(Welcome)

"Vanakam." Shivangi folded her hands in respect

(Hello!)

Shivangi was taken inside the house where she noted in spite of the grand decoration the place hardly had any guests.

"Innum guests yaarum varalaya?" Shivangi couldn't help but ask

(Haven't the guests turned up yet?)

"Pujai-ku family mattum dan. En paiyan ku apdi dan pudikum. Mathavangal lunch ku dan varuvanga."

(Only family will attend the special prayer. My son likes it simple. Guests will be here for lunch)

So much for performing in small crowd. Shivangi wondered if she will at least have audience of ten.

"Edhadhu kudikaraya ma?"

(Would you like something to drink?)

"Illa madam. Naan coffee tea ellam kudika maaten."

(No, mam. I don't drink tea or coffee)

"Teriyum ma." The woman smiled. "Paal kudikaraya?"

(I know. Would you like milk?)

Shivangi frowned at the familiar way the elderly woman spoke to her when she heard a voice that turned her frown to complete shock.

"Amma, en pudhu shirt la button..."

(Mom, my new shirt's button)

Shivaangi as well as the elderly woman turned around to look at the source of the voice and even he had noticed them for he stopped mid sentence and stared at both the women in front of him.

"Enna venum, Ashwin?" his mother asked

(What is it, Ashwin?)

Ashwin's gaze was however fixed on his unexpected guest. She looked eternal in silk saree. This is probably the first time he was looking at her like this, dressed traditionally and he was mesmerized. He walked towards where she stood completely lost in her looks.

Shivangi blinked unbelieving to make sure she really was where she thought she was. What is he doing here, rather what was she doing in his house?

As the young couple's eye lock prolonged than socially accepted Ashwin's mother had to clear her throat to bring them back.

Ashwin narrowed his eyes at his mother.

"Nalla naal adhuma yaaradhu nalla paatu paadna dan da veetla Lakshmi tangum." His mother said in way of explaining his unasked question. "Adhu dan naan Shivangi ah vara sonnen."

(Good songs on such special occasions will bring good luck. So, I invited Shivangi)

Yes, he gave all responsibility of arranging house warming of their new house to his mother and to be assisted by his man Friday, but not even in his wildest dream he imagined his seemingly calm mother will pull such a trick.

Shivangi looked at Ashwin accusingly not believing that he didn't have a hand in it. He lifted his shoulder and nodded a trying to prove his innocence.

"Nee vaa ma. Paal kaachitu dan kovil la puja." His mother held Shivangi's hand and took her inside.

(Come dear, let us start the prayer)

Though Shivangi followed his mother with a smile, she didn't miss to turn around for a minute and throw draggers at Ashwin through her gaze.

Ashwin turned to Shivangi's coordinator. "Idhu enga veedu dan nu ungaluku teriyadhu?" he asked

(Didn't you know it is my house?)

"Unga amma dan sir ungaluko Shivangi papa ko teriya kudadhu nu sonnanga."

(Your mom insisted that you or Shivangi should not know anything)

Ashwin sighed. He didn't know if he should be happy that Shivangi will be by his side on one of the most important days of his life or worried that she is going to be angry on him.

He heard his name being called and trotted towards the kitchen.

Shivangi has never felt more awkward than the moment she stood in the spacious kitchen surrounded by Ashwin and his family.

No one seemed surprised to find her there, in fact his sister was more welcoming and happy to see her. His father or brother in law didn't speak with her, but they smiled very warmly at her. His niece on the other hand refused to leave Shivangi's side since she spotted her.

Shivangi stood on one side looking at his parents performed whatever the pandits were saying. She felt a presence near her and without turning around she knew it was him.

"Enakum idhukum smandam illa. Enaku onnum teriyadhu." He whispered

(I have nothing to do with this)

Shivangi without looking at him held her hand together in praying position and pointed at where his parents were performing puja. Ashwin understood she wanted to concentrate on puja.

Shivangi knew how much building a house of his own meant to him and she wanted to no negative energy inside, so she decided that she was not going to argue anything here.

Later Shivangi followed the whole family to the small Lord Ganesh temple in front yard where she sang couple of songs while the pundits performed puja.

Ashwin's mother and sister were asked to light the lamps, when his mother turned towards Shivangi and offered a match box.

"Naan epdi..." Shivangi hesitated

(How can I ?)

"Tappu illa ma. Yaaru venalum vizhaku patha vekkalam."

(It is okay. Anyone can do it.)

Shivangi turned to Ashwin who looked like he was in trance. A barely there nod was his way of requesting her. Shivangi took the match box and followed the instructions she was give.

"Breakfast ippo ready aaidum. Veedu suthi pakaraya?" his sister asked

(Breakfast will be ready soon. Do you want the tour of the house?)

"Illa naan kelambanum. Enaku vera..."

(I have to leave. I hav..)

"Ten minutes dan ma." His mother insisted, before Shivangi could refuse further. "Ashwin, veedu suthi kaatu."

(Just ten minutes. Ashwin, show her around)

Ashwin was half expecting her to shout at him the minute they were alone, he was even prepared for it, but she quietly followed behind him as he took her around the house.

"Backyard la garden iruku." He said. Shivangi was about to refuse but he looked so hopeful to take her there so she agreed.

(There is a garden in the backyard)

It was a small area covered with newly planted greenery.

"Adhu mango tree." He pointed at the still small plant that will soon grow into a tree. "Inga four colour roses iruku. Idellam vegetables. Aprom inga oru sitting area varum."

(It is mango tree, here there are roses of all colours, these are vegetables. A sitting area will be arranged here.)

It took Shivangi only few minutes to realize that he had tried to recreate her dream garden that she once spoke about in her vlog. Shivangi stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

"Unaku pudichu iruka?" he asked expectantly

(Do you like it?)

Why was he doing all this Shivangi didn't comprehend.

"Neenga dana vazha poreenga, ungaluku puducha seri."

(You are going to live here. You should only like it.)

She walked back inside the house leaving behind a disappointed Ashwin.

It was only half intentional that he planned a backyard garden. It was a vague idea that stuck with him few years ago and so he suggested it to the architect. However, only after the construction, when he was asked how he wanted the garden to be designed he realized he was trying to give life to her dream.

To show her this garden was his dream. He didn't know it will happen so soon. Irrespective of her cold reaction, he loved taking her around the house and showing her how his dream has materialized.

"Naan kelambaren." Shivangi announced once she after his mother's insistence had breakfast with his family.

(I will take your leave)

"Oru nimisham ma. En kooda va." His mother took her to the puja room that currently had only a large Lord Venkatachalapathy idol.

(Come with me)

She bought a plate with saree, flowers, bangles and offered it to Shivangi.

"Idellam ..."

(No...)

"Vaangi ko ma. Veetuku first time vandiruka."

(Take it, it is your first time in this house.)

Shivangi touched his mother's feet for blessings before she accepted the gift. Ashwin stood far away looking at the scene with mixed emotions.

"Naan onnu solluta ma?" his mother asked

(Shall I say something)

"Sollunga."

(Of course)

"Avan kitta peru pugazh onnum illadha pa, nee avan kooda edhum edir paakama ninna. Ippo avan kitta seriya mugam kuduthu kooda pesamatingarana avan unna avlo kaya paduthirkan nu puriyudhu. Naan unna avana manika solla maaten. Adhu unnoda mudiva dan irukanum. Aana onnu mattum solren. Avanuke teriyama nee avan vazhkaila periya pagudi aaita. Indhu anju varsham avan manaseegama un ninaivugal oda dan vazhndutu irundan. Avana nee vendam nu sollanumna pakkuvama sollu. Avan taanga maatan dan, aana purinjikuvan. Unna thollai ellam panna matan."

(When he had no fame, you stood by him without expecting anything. Now, you don't even look at his face. It only means he has hurt you so much. I will not ask you to forgive him. It is your decision. You are a big part of his life. These five years he lived every minute with your thoughts. If you want to refuse him anything, do it gently. He is weak hearted, but he will respect your decision. He will not trouble you. )

The elder woman's voice choked when she said it and even Shivangi's eyes were teary.

When his mother insisted that Ashwin drop her home, Shivangi didn't refuse to Ashwin's surprise. This also made him wonder what his mother spoke to Shivangi when giving her the saree.

"Unga amma kitta enna sonneenga enna pathi?" she asked as soon as the car started.

(What did you tell your mother about me?)

"Yen? Onnum illaye. Avanga edhadhu sonnangala?"

(Why? Nothing. What did she tell you?)

Shivangi looked at him trying to gauge his expression to know if what he is saying was true.

"Ellam nalla dana poitu iruduchu Ashwin. Didirnu ivlo varsham kalichu, yen idellam?"

(Why bother to do all this after all these years?)

Ashwin sighed. He so much wanted her to ask this question to him, but didn't prepare himself with an answer.

"Naan tappu panniten Shivangi ma." He confessed. "Nambaluku nalladhu nu dan naan nenachen."

(I know I wronged you. But, I did it for us)

"Namba na adhula naanum dana iruken. En kitta oru varthai kooda kekala."

(I am also part of us. Why didn't you consider asking me.)

"En tappu dan." He agreed. "Ne chinna ponnu idellam unaku puriyadhu nu nenachu..."

(My mistake. You were young, so I didn't think you will understand...)

"Chinna ponna ah? Seriously ! Adhu dan unga excuse ah?" she looked at him appalled. "Appo enaku 21 vayasu. Pala countries la andha vayasula enna pannalum legal teriyuma?"

(Young? Seriously? Is that your excuse? I was 21 then. Legal age in many countries to do almost anything.)

Ashwin shifted the gear grinding his teeth knowing whatever he say will not be a valid excuse for his action.

"Othukonga Ashwin. Unga selfishness ku dana enna vittutu poneenga."

(Agree that you did it for your selfish reasons, Ashwin)

"Selfishness ah?" he looked at her shocked

(My selfishness?)

"En kooda sethi vechu pesi unga TV background nyabagapadutheete irunda, movie la unga dream achieve panna mudiyadhu nu dana nenacheenga?"

(You feared that your name will be tagged with me and therefore with TV forever. You wanted to break the cycle and venture into movies)

Ashwin pulled over the car and turned towards her.

"Enna nenachitu iruka nee enna pathi?" the anger in his voice was something he was not used to. "Ippo varaikum nee finals appo kudutha saami kairu vechutu iruken. Adhoda dan pudhu project sign panna pove. Un voice ah phone la, loop la, paithiyam maari mani kanaka ketute irupen, en phone full ah namba pictures and videos dan. Nee enda episode la enna second enna expression kudutha nu ennala solla mudiyum. Avlo vaati ellathayum naan paathiruken. Un songs naan kekadha naale illa." He pointed his left thumb at her and pointed at the web between his thumb and index finger where a very small snowman inside a heart was tattooed.

"Nee koodave irukara maari irukanum nu naan yaarukum teriyama tattoo panni kitten. Nee kooda adi kadi solluvaye velayata nee yen lucky charm nu, adha naan mansala nambanen. Unn vittutu irundadhu en sabam. Nee adha selfishness nu solaraya?"

(Is that what you think it was about? I still carry the sacred thread you gave me during finals. I carry with me before signing any project. I hear your voice in loop like a mad man for hours. My phone is filled with our pictures and videos. Point a single episode, single second and I will be able to your expression in it. I watched it all many times. I listen to your songs every day. I got a tattoo so that I feel your presence with me always. You used to say you are my lucky charm teasingly, but I believe it honestly. Days without you were bane of my existence. You think it is my selfishness? )

Shivangi looked at him stunned. That is the longest she has heard him speak and that too so intense. The helpless frustration in his eyes almost scared her. He was unlike the Ashwin Kumar she knew and Shivangi was dumbfounded.

"Appo edhuku enna vittu poganum?"

(Then why did you leave me?)

Ashwin looked at her. It was time he told him what he actually felt all these years and still has only barely managed to overcome it.

"Because I didn't think I deserved you."

***

Suggestions welcome, else you will be subjected to my complicated plot ;)

My song mood for this chapter

https://youtu.be/wHD6z0vuWiM