43

Shivangi closed the door behind her friend who she after much convincing sent out to look if her mother needed any help. Shivangi didn't know there will come a day when she will want to be let alone and not include her in any festivities.

Sitting on the not so comfortable bed and increasing the AC temperature, Shivangi spread her legs and leaned back on the bed post. She was wearing short sleeved kurta sans slit that reached till her calf. Thick mix of orange and brown, colour of meticulously scrawled mehendi, was visible to plain sight taking away any idea of domesticity she was trying to feel in the room allotted for bride in the marriage hall where she will be married tomorrow. Precisely in just seven hours.

When her palm is held together and designs of mehendi in each hand join to form a seamless pattern, Shivangi could spot where her name and Ashwin's name was hidden between designs. She was told that Ashwin ought to find out his name midst the designs. It didn't really make sense to her why, but she knew her valanda kozhanda will be interested in such silly game. She could already imagine how competitive he is going to get and break a nerve when he couldn't find the W that is actually drawn on the back side of her palm.

Amidst the chaos of wedding, Shivangi was probably the only one thinking about how her life is going to change. She didn't mind, of course. She couldn't wait to get married to the man she loves. However, there was inexplicable bittersweet feeling inside her heart that she didn't know how to deal with.

Is it normal?

She knew she had many people to ask this. Many women of her family elder and more experienced. Shivangi brushed off anyone who came to her with advice. She liked living with these thoughts. She knew it was once in a lifetime feeling and was eager to reflect on it rather than have it normalized by others' experience.

Third time Shivangi cut the call without even seeing who the caller was. Whoever it is, she hoped understood that bride had no time for them.

As one of her old songs played in the background, Shivangi closed her eyes to relax. She didn't know how many minutes passed before she heard a knock. Shivangi was contemplating on ignoring.

"Naan room la illa." She said once the knock became louder.

(I am not in room)

"Naan dan."

(Its me)

Shivangi groaned. She wished she could disregard the person. However, her future husband can't know already how brutal she becomes when she has mood swings. Some things have to be stored for after marriage discovery.

Ashwin sighed as he looked at Shivangi standing in front of him with questioning gaze. "Ma, yen ma phone edukala?"

(Why didn't you answer my call?)

"Oh neenga dana call pannadhu?"

(Was it you?)

Ashwin frowned. "Caller ID kooda paakalaya?"

(Didn't you check?)

Ignoring him, Shivangi peaked over his shoulder to see why no one is making fuss about groom meeting the bride on the day before their wedding.

"Enna paakara?"

(What are you looking at?)

"Yaarum pakalaya?"

(Didn't anyone see you coming here?)

Ashwin shrugged. "Edho pre-wedding sadangu. Per sonnanga naan maranduten. Periyavanga ellam keela irukanga."

(Everyone is busy with some pre-wedding ritual)

Some perks of having their rooms in second floor away from many eyes.

Shivangi walked inside the room and Ashwin followed closing the door, but not locking it.

Shivangi sat on the bed crossing her hand over her chest. Unaware of her mood, Ashwin smiled at her brightly. He sat beside her and tried to take her hand in his to see her mehendi designs.

"Paaka koodadhu...." Shivangi pulled her hand away.

(You can look at it...)

"Yen?"

(Why?)

"Adhula unga name iruku. Nalaiku night dan adha paathu kandu pudikanum." She repeated what her friends told her.

(Your name is hidden here. You have to find it tomorrow night.)

"Name kandu pudika ellam nalaiku night enaku time illa." He answered.

(I will not have time for such silly games tomorrow night)

"Enn friends enna sonnanga teriyuma?"

(You know what my friends said?)

"Ynna?"

(What?)

"Oru name kooda kandu pudikalaina onnume kandu pudika teriyadhu, pesama toonga sollu nu sonnanga."

(If one can't find a name, then they can't find anything else, so it's better to just sleep.)

She didn't just say that ! Ashwin was personally offended even though he has not even begun the task of finding the name yet. He was just being a man in taking offense that anything about his skills in bed can be ridiculed. The fact that he has never put it to use before is negligible.

"Romba stupid theory." He gritted his teeth.

(very stupid theory)

Shivangi chuckled seeing him react so unlike him. "Nee edhuku Ashwinney tension aara?"

(Why are you worked up?)

Ashwin loosened his shoulder and shrugged. "Naan edhuku tension aaren?" he countered. "Name kandu pidikardhu ellam 5 minutes la mudichiduven."

(I am not. I will be done in 5 minutes.)

Shivangi nodded her head with slight down curl of lips marvelling at his confidence. "Ellame 5 minutes la mudichiruveengala?"

(Will you only need five minutes?)

Ashwin was about to nod in affirmation, but caught himself in the right moment as the insinuation hit him.

He narrowed his eyes at Shivangi. She can't be as innocent as he first met her, surely.

"Ei, Rowdy, edha kekara?"

(What are you talking about?)

It was Shivangi's turn to shrug. "Mehendi la name dan. Vera enna nenaikareenga?" she asked innocently even though the smirk on her lips proved that she is anything but that.

(About finding name. What do you think?)

"Unaku vaai romba over ah pochu. Nalaiku naan kaatren unaku. Ore nimishathula unn pera kooda maraka veppen paakaraya?" he challenged.

(I will show you my prowess tomorrow. I will make you forget your own name in a minute)

Even as Shivangi's face heated with blush, she strangely felt confident about such talks with Ashwin. Isn't high time they stop being coy with each other?

"Enn per maranda parawa illa, unga per maranda aprom endha per koopadradhu?"

(It is okay if I forget my name.I shan't forget yours, else whose name will I scream?)

Ashwin inhaled sharply. It was definitely a bad idea to wanting to meet her. If it wasn't for Shivangi's friend who met him on her way to dining informed him that Shivangi looked disturbed, he wouldn't have come here. Having her so close, with obvious signs of how she is going to be his new bride in few hours, discussing with her intimate details, he was having hard time to not pull her into a kiss.

"Enna Ashwinney yosikara?" she took her hand near his face to caress hisi cheek, but Ashwin held her hand half way. He turned her hand and placed a small box on her palm that she didn't notice she carried with him.

(Where are you lost?)

"Ennadhu idhu?"

(What is this?)

"Yaaro tension ah irukanga nu kelvi patten. Adhu dan avangala cool panna oru chocolate truffle order pannen. Kudukalam nu vanden."

(I was told you were stressed. So I bought truffle.)

Shivangi's eyes glowed at the sight of chocolate. She didn't know she needed it until she saw it. What can make mood better than chocolate?

As Shivangi was only staring at the box wondering how thoughtful Ashwin is, he removed it from her hand, opened the lid, scooped a small piece with the wooden spoon and held it in front of her to eat.

Chocolate melted in her mouth and it was delicious. However, it didn't mean anything in front of his love of feeding her with his own hands.

"Ashwinney!" she called. "Bayama iruku." She confessed.

(I am scared)

Ashwin only stopped for a moment to take a look at her eyes before he fed her another piece.

"Naan santhoshama iruken. Romba santhoshama." She felt the need to clarify. "Aana bayama iruku."

( I am happy. Very. But also scared)

When he didn't reply immediately, Shivangi let him feed her in silence. It took couple of minutes before Ashwin said, "Enakum dan."

(Me too)

Shivangi looked at him. Are they experiencing the same?

"Unakum enakum ore vishayathuku dan bayama iruka nu terila." He said honestly. "In fact, naan edhuku bayapadren nu kooda full ah purila. Anju varshama idhukaga dan wait paneetu irunen. Ippo pakkathula varum podhu oru maari iruku."

(I don't know if we are scared about same thing. I am not even sure what it is I am scared of. I was waiting for this since five years, still I feel strange)

He was right. Their fears are not same. Nevertheless, the reason for it is. They both were only wondering how to take on this new phase without losing themselves or disappointing one another.

"Naan nalla husband ah irupana nu terila Shivangi ma." He admitted. "21 vayasula irundu naan taniya dan iruken. Enn life la innoruthar epdi include pannikardhu nu marande poiten. Unna disappoint pannuven. Unaku kovam vara vaipen. Naan kovapaduven. Sanda poduven."

(I don't know if I will be a good husband. I have been alone since 21 years. I don;t know how to include someone in my life. I will disappoint you, anger you. I will get angry. I will fight.)

"Enaku porupu set aagadhu." Shivangi said. "Ungaluku venumgaradhu paathu seira wife ah naan iruka maaten. Ennaye most ah amma appa dan paathupanga. Lethargic ah dan irupen. Ungala kandipa frustrate pannuven. "

(I am not responsible. I cant take care of you like a typical wife. In fact, my mom takes care of me most of the times. I am lethargic. I will frustrate you.)

Ashwin chuckled. A reaction she didn't expect from him.

"Kalyanathuku munnadi naal idhu pesarom na veliya ellarum siripanga illa tittuvanga." Ashwin said.

(People don't discuss these things before wedding day)

"Ippo vadhu pesarome."

(Better late than never)

"Inga paaru." Ashwin placed the cake box on the side and moved closer to her. "Romba imperfect, problems filled life dan irukum. Practical ah solren." He said. "Aana, andha imperfect life enaku unn kooda dan vazhanum. Adhu eppavume maaradhu. Sanda potu kathanalum tirumbi each other kitta dan varuvom. Andha nambika mattum vechuko ma. Mathadhu ellam paathukalam."

(We will have imperfect life, but I want to spend that imperfect life with you. That will never change. Even if we fight, we will come back to each other. )

Shivangi placed her head on his shoulder and his hand automatically went around her shoulder.

They spent another two minutes in silence after which Shivangi decided that they cant be going to sleep with such heavy thoughts.

"Excitement um neraya iruku Ashwinney." She said

(I am equally excited)

"Apdiya? Edhuku?" he played along

(For what?)

Shivangi straightened herself and looked at his face with a smile.

"Anniku namba taste panna Gulab jamun nalaiku breakfast menu la iruku la!" she exclaimed

(Gulab jamun we tasted the other day will be served for breakfast right?)

Ashwin chuckled. There is nothing like her smiling face to make him believe that everything will be fine.

"Ennaku menu la lifelong Gulab jamun iruku." Before she could question what he was talking about, Ashwin pulled her cheeks and also placed a kiss.

(I have lifelong supply of Gulab jamun)

Shivangi frowned with a sad pout. "Nee romba lucky Ashwinney." She said. "Unaku taste ah Gulab jamun kedaikudhu. Naan pawam."

(You are lucky. You get tasty Gulab jamun. I am a poor soul)

"Pawama?"

(Why so?)

"Enaku lifelong unna maari apple dan kedaikudhu. " she pinched his cheeks, but didn't kiss. "Gulab jamun alavuku taste illa."

(I get only lifelong supply of apple. Not as tasty as Gulab jamun)

"Apple is healthy ma. Unn nalladhuku dan." He pointed his cheeks at her asking for a kiss.

(Apple is healthy. Good for you)

Shivangi shook her head. "Apple is bore."

"Indha apple taste ah irukum. Try panni paren."

(This apple is tasty. Try)

A shriek escaped his lips as Shivangi who neared him bit his cheeks instead of kissing.

"Rowdy !" he complained rubbing his cheeks and glaring at her.

"Wild cat Ashwinney!" she reminded the name he gave her

"Mark vilunda nalaiku pakaravanga enna nenaipanga."

(What if you leave a mark? What will others say?)

Shivangi patted his shoulder. "Apple tasty nu nenaipanga."

(They will know apple is tasty)

Ashwin scrunched his nose and narrowed his eyes disappointed. "Unna nalaiku vechukaren, Gulab jamun. "

(I will get back at you tomorrow, Gulab jamun)

"Adhu nalaiku pakalam, ippo unga room ku ponga. Naan seekiram toongana dan nalaiku naan fresh ah irupen."

(Will wait for it. Now go back to your room. I want to rest to look fresh tomorrow.)

Shivangi pulled him off the bed and pushed him to the door.

"Oru nimisham." Ashwin turned around to look at her. "Onne onnu sollikaran." He pulled her closer to him.

(One minute)

"Yenna?"

(What)

Ashwin wordless kept looking at her.

"Ashwinney, enna?"

"Enaku first rose kudutha ponna paaka try panren." He said

(I am looking for the girl who gave me rose)

"Edhuku?"

(Why?)

"Nalaiku kattapora thali evlo mukkiyamo, andha alavuku andha rose mukkiyam. Thanks sollanum. Adhu kudkama irundu irunda, enna break panama irundirunda, naan inneram uyiroda irundirupananu kooda terila."

(That rose is as important as nuptial thread I tie tomorrow. I want to thank her. If it wasn't for her, I might have not even been alive today.)

Shivangi smiled warmly as she signalled him to bend down. She kissed his forehead and said, "Ellame kadavul setting Ashwinney." She said. "Romba feel pannadha."

(Its will of God)

"Ippave enn kooda vandiru." He couldn't imagine going away from her even if it was only for few hours.

(Come with me already. )

"Innum konja neram dan. Aprom ungala vittu pogave maaten."Ashwin was about to say something, but Shivangi stopped him placing her hand on his lips. "Romance ellam podhum. Go to your room. Nalaiku smart ah vaanga. Appo dan photos nalla irukum. Illati namba kozhandainga yen ma appa kalyana photos la toongararu nu kepanga."

(Few more hours. Then I am yours forever. Go to your room and rest. I don't want our kids to ask me why their father looks sleepy in wedding pics.)

Ashwin smiled. She was not helping him to go away from her by talking about their future kids, but he knew he have to. Just few hours, he told himself, and then they will be forever bonded together forever.

***

How did you like it?

I really liked writing this one.