2

"Kulu Kulu venpani pole."

The song that played in the car that was taking Ashwin to the studio made his already brighter day jubilant.

So much good memories were associated with the song. To hear it today out of all the days almost sounded like poetic justice. If she was here today with him, she would have called it 'Kadavul Setting' smiling that unique smile behind which she hides her blush every time she looks at him.

Not for the first time Ashwin wondered what her reaction would have been if she was by his side at that moment. It has become constant in his life. To think about her, to think like her and to think her with him. These were the thoughts, her thoughts, which helped him survive the tough times.

How well he remembers her every single word and every single expression as if it had all happened just yesterday. They are all etched in his heart and will stay with him till his last breath.

"Ellarum ready." His manager announced as soon as Ashwin got out of the car. "Anirudh sir one hour la vanduruvanga. Namba padathula irundu oru single release pannuvom. Aduku munnadi neenga oru moonu performance paakanum, namba movie pathi pesanum. Avlo dan." Ashwin nodded absent minded, while he was wondering where she was.

(Everything is ready. Anirudh will be here soon. We will release a single from our movie after that. Meanwhile you will have to sit for couple of performances and talk about our movie. )

Ashwin hasn't met her or spoken to her in the past four years. It was an intentional decision from his part.

In the wake of increase in their popularity and shipping, negative impact fell on her and some of her friends. Ashwin was affected the least in all this, yet he didn't want things to continue the way they were.

As someone older and more mature, he felt moral obligation to do right by young and talented people who deserved to go more heights. He solely decided that the wisest thing to do would be to let her go no matter how impossible the task felt at that time. It was as if he had finally learnt to fly in this world and he was asked to cut his wings. But he knew he had to make this sacrifice for larger good for both of them.

Kaisee teri khudgarzee

Na dhoop chune na chhaanvKaisee teri khudgarzeeKisi thaur tike na paanv
How's this selfishness of yours,
that you don't take the sun, nor take the shade..
How's this selfishness of yours,
that your feet don't stay anywhere..

Ashwin knew it will hurt him the most. But, he has to do it if not for anyone else, then for her. Professionally and personally they both needed sanity and it could be achieved only by unbinding themselves from each other.

It was Ashwin's PR team who suggested him that best way to announce estrangement in the millennial world is by unfollowing a person on Instagram and he did exactly that.

Ban liyaa apnaa paighambar

Tar liyaa tu saat samandarPhir bhee sookhaa mann ke andarKyoon reh gaya
You've tried being your own god,
and crossed all seven seas,
Still, there is a draught within your heart,
Why is it so..

"Anda ponnuku endha problem-um vara kudadhu. Enna extra kooda bill pannikonga, aana anda ponnu-oda image melayum kannu irukatum. Yaarum oru vartha kooda tappa pesa koodadhu." This is what he told his team that day.

(She shouldn't face any problems. You can bill me extra, but keep an eye on her image. No one should say even a single negative comment about her.)

Ever since Ashwin has been conscious in not knowing more about her for the sake of his own weak heart. He knew that knowing about her more than necessary will only threaten his resolve to stay away from her. So he only kept track of her professional growth.

From what he has learnt, she was doing wonders. After three movies and another season of the show where they met, she quit acing and TV, but her singing career was improving drastically. She has sung for bigwigs of the music industry, released independent music and now one of the three mentors of the prestigious show where she debuted as singer. If rumours are to be believed she missed filmfare only because she refused to perform on stage on award night and not because she lacked in talent.

Looking at her career graph assured Ashwin that he has taken wise decision.

Kaisi teri khudgarzi

Lab namak rame naa misreeKaisi teri khudgarziTujhe preet purani bisri..Mast Maula, mast KalandarTu hawa kaa ek bavandarBujh ke yoon andar hi andarKyun reh gaya..

How's this selfishness of yours,
Neither salt nor sugar fit on your tongue..
How's this selfishness of yours,
that you have forgot old love..
O free man, free spirit,
you're a storm of wind..
then why have you ended
within yourself only..

Today, after many years, the destiny that has done wonders for them has brought them together on same stage for professional reasons and Ashwin couldn't be any happier.

This is what he wanted. Both of them shining bright in their respective fields.

Shaking hands with the famous judges of the show and getting to know the young contestants, Ashwin's eyes only searched for one person.

Where is she?

His heartbeat doubled and he felt chills around his stomach. This is not an unfamiliar feeling for him. It is his old friend making him feel unexplainable things in anticipation of meeting her when they were in cooking show together. It was idle all this while as no other woman has made him feel this way in the past five years. Now that he was going to meet her after long time, the feelings are returning with a vengeance.

Ashwin caressed his chest where his heart resided in an attempt to slow it down.

Damn! Why does he become a young teenage boy when it comes to her! Five years has done nothing to tame him.

"Elaarum set la illa pola iruke." Ashwin asked casually.

(Not everyone are here yet, aren't they?)

"Priyanka vum Ma Ka Pa vum ippo vandiduvanga." A clueless Unni Krishnan answered.

(Priyanka and MaKaPa will be here soon)

Yeah right! Ashwin didn't care about their whereabouts now.

It has been years since Ashwin and Shivangi were Ashaangi. Though this same studio has witnessed their magic many times, people have long forgotten them. As they say, out of sight out of mind. So, no one understood that he was dying to meet her.

Ashwin's whole body froze as he heard her unique voice. His cheeks flared and his heart lost couple of beats. Ignoring whatever the legendary singer was saying, Ashwin turned around.

There she was!

Crouched between two kids, she was explaining something to them animatedly while they were listening to her patiently.

God! Was she always this beautiful!

Excusing himself, he sauntered towards her with a grin on his face.

"Hey, Rowdy!" he addressed her with his given pet name.

He was waiting with batted breath for her to look at him and grace him with her infectious smile. He prayed she called him 'Ashwineeyy'. His ears were parched without listening to that in person even though he had cajoled DJ Black to send him voice note he had of her calling 'Ashwineey' and listens to it on loop whenever he felt lonely.

She didn't look surprised to see him. It was a given as she must already know to expect him. "Hello!" she said very formally.

Ashwin's smile dropped by a millimetre as he didn't detect her usual chirpiness in her voice. Her eyes had a distant look as if she was looking through him. An awkwardness that has never been an issue between them surrounded them. What eventually broke his heart was the smile that she gave him that didn't reach her eyes. It wasn't the usual smile reserved for him. She looked at him as if he was a stranger.

Ashwin looked at her appalled as he felt he was looking at a different Shivaangi.

"Shivangi ma?" he wanted to assure himself that it was indeed her.

Her expression became blanker if that was even possible and there was unreadable look akin to hurt on her face.

A small chubby kid, probably her mentee , dragged her by hand and she left without another word or look.

This is not his Shivangi, is she?

***

I know both stories are not in a very pleasant stage right now. But stay put for happy moments that will follow. 

Song to suit the mood

https://youtu.be/jHNNMj5bNQw