11

Humble request : Please read my OS 'Not all hearts that beat' to get the full feel of Anirudh's emotions.

***

Shivangi was not sleeping, but she was not fully awake either. She was in the state of sleeplessness where her mind still actively conjured the events of the day.

Once the initial guilt at letting Ashwin with half knowledge subsided, she was overcome with anger at him for not trying to reach out to her. He already had his number, if her opinion meant more than his self pity, he will know where to reach.

Shivangi decided she is not going to be the kind of women to take blame for the actions of others. It was Pugazh who chose to reveal selective information to rile up Ashwin, it was Ashwin who chose to leave with half knowledge, Shivangi in no way contributed to the chaos. So, she decided to be gentle on herself.

This decision was also reached upon because a bigger guilt took its place in her mind. Anirudh.

As face of the event, Anirudh was also scheduled to photo shoot later that day. He walked in just when Shivangi was leaving and in spite of the hurry his team seemed to have been in, he greeted her and waited to talk to her.

"Photo shoot ku ipdi vanda podhuma?" he asked looking at her jeans and faded denim jacket over white Tshirt. "Naan kooda casual ah vandirupane, ipdi fancy coat illama." He said patting his expensive suit.

(Is it okay to dress this way to photo shoot? I would have also dressed casually instead of such fancy coat.)

Shivangi let out an unconvincing chuckle at his effort at being funny. She was still too occupied in the mind for casual conversation even if it was with one of the top music directors of the country.

"En shoot mudinjichu." She answered sincerely without going for witty repartee. Not that it would ever occur to Shivangi to come up with flirty comeback to a music director she respected a lot. "Naan gown dan potu irunden."

(My shoot is over.) (I wore a gown)

"Apdiya! Che! Terinjirunda seekiram vandirupene."

(Really! I should have come early then)

Shivangi only smiled unsure why he said that. She thought he was only trying to be nice to her.

"Kelambiteengla?" he asked

(Are you leaving?)

"Aama, enaku shoot mudinjudhu."

(Yes, my work is done)

"Ohhh... Actual ah enaku two hours dan solli irukanga." He began. "Epdiyum munnadiye mudinjirum. Ungaluku vera work edhum illai na namba oru pudhu song pathi discuss pannalam."

(Oh! I have only two hours work. Might be over even before that. If you are free, we can discuss about a new song)

She was in no way in the mind to discuss anything, especially nothing professional. However, how can she let Anirudh down easy? She feared if she already offended him when she refused to sing for him in Ashwin's movie.

"Na..." she searched for proper response. "Ilaa.... actual ah... Late aaiduchu..."

(Me...I....welll.... Its late...)

"Studio varaikum ponum nu illa. Ingaye restaurant la discuss pannalam. Naa phone la play panni kaatren."

(We don't have to go to my studio. Let us discuss here at restaurant. I will play for you in phone)

"Oh! Naan vandhu..."

(Oh! I...)

"Busy na parava illa."

(I will understand if you are busy)

"Illa studio na dana better ah irukum?" she asked

(Studio sounds better for song discussion)

Anirudh looked at her with an expression she was familiar with but never understood. He scratched his eyebrow with a light chuckle as if he couldn't believe she can be this oblivious. He looked back at her with a smile.

"Appo studio ke vanga." He said

(Okay the, lets meet at studio)

"Okay sir. Neenga eppo sonnalum varen."

(Okay, sir. Whenever you are free)

He was about to turn to his assistant to say something, but decided against it and looked at her.

"En assistant number dana vechirukeenga? En number iruka?" he asked

(You only have my assistant's number. Do you have mine?)

"Illa, but parava illa sir naan avar kooptu ketukaren." Shivangi said.

(No, but it is okay. I will call him)

Anirudh took his phone out of his pocket. "Naan oru missed call taren save pannikonga."

(I will call you, save that number)

Shivangi nodded at Anirudh after saving his number.

"Naan poguta?" he asked with a smile

(Shall I leave?)

"Okay sir." She nodded

"Okay sir." He mimicked her before he waved her bye with a chuckle.

Though on hindsight it felt as if she handled the situation well, Shivangi wondered if refusing him twice will put her in Anirudh's bad books. She loved his music and her voice always sounded better with him.

She decided that as the first thing in the morning she has to make a call to his assistant.

Morning. Well, morning seemed too far away. Shivangi has been in bed since and it is only two. It felt like forever now.

Even though Shivangi tried everything to fall asleep, in the back of her mind one man's thoughts lingered.

Shivangi was already scrolling down her instagram, when her phone buzzed with call notification.

She immediately sat up on the bed. Why was he calling her at this hour?

"Hello?" she said unsure if he actually called her to talk or dialled by mistake.

"Disturb pannitena?"

(Did I disturb you?)

"Hmm...Illaa...Naan..."

(No...I....)

"Online la irukaradha kaatuchu, adhu dan phone pannen."

(You were online, so thought to call you)

"Ohh..."

"Pesalama?"

(Shall we talk?)

"Hmm..."

He didn't speak anything and even she didn't know what to say.

"Oru nimisham balcony vara mudiyuma?"

(Can you come to balcony for one?)

"Balcony ah?" she asked

"Just oru nimisham."

(Just for a minute)

Shivangi grabbed her yellow cardigan wrapped it around her white night suit and went to the balcony.

What was he even doing here? At 2?

As she stood there comprehending the reason for his presence, he gaped at her with unreadable smile.

"Good night." He said abruptly.

It seemed as if he was going to cut the call, when she called, "Ashwin."

When Shivangi with small careful steps noiselessly made her way out of the house, she held her cardigan tightly around her and a yellow woollen cap covered her head and ears with her hair cascading in lazy curls as effect of that day's styling.

Ashwin gestured for his driver to step out and opened the back door for Shivangi.

Shivangi's eyes first fell on the bandage on his forehead.

"Enna aachu?" she panicked and her hands immediately went to inspect.

(How did it happen?)

"Shooting la chinna scratch onnum illa." He reasoned

(Small scratch while shooting)

Shivangi caressed the band trying to gauge his expression to know if it hurt him.

"Nejamave chinna scratch dan."

(It isn't anything to worry about)

Once she was convinced, she removed her hand and once again wrapped it around herself holding her cardigan.

"Outdoor shooting ah?" she asked

"Jaipur la." He replied. "Airport la irundu veetuku pora valila unna paaka..." he didn't have to explain more.

(In Jaipur. I was going home from airport when I decided to meet yo...)

Shivangi locked her gaze with his. What was he trying to do? Leaving her without explanation was akin to the Ashwin she sketched in her mind in these five years. This Ashwin, who is sitting in front of her at 2 in the morning in spite of being hurt and tired from shoot, reminded her of the Ashwin she met in the sets. The one who made her feel kulu kulu. Ashwin who is dangerous for her heart.

She might still have remnants of old Shivangi in her, but experience has also thought her to be guarded, especially when Ashwin and her heart is in question.

"Bye kooda sollama daana poneenga? Ippo yen paakanum?"

(You didn't even say proper bye, why do you want to meet now?)

She decided that she is not going to let him get away with being hot one minute and cold the other minute like how he was in the sets. No mixed signals, not this time.

"Bye sollama pona, apdiye poiduven nu nenachaya?"

(Did you think I will leave you since I didn't say Bye?)

"Ungaluku dan poi palakam iruke."

(You are used to leaving)

Ashwin nodded his head. "Enga ponalum tirumbu ore edathuku vara palakam um iruku. I always need my home. I will always be back to my home."

(I am also used to returning to one place no matter where I go. I always need my home. I will always be back to my home)

Shivangi looked at him. Home. That word bought so much memories from early days. There was a time when even she thought a person can be her home.

"Home mattum static ah irukanum, neenga parandute irupeenga illa?"

(And home has to be in same place always and you can fly wherever you want?)

"Naan parakala, tolanjuten."

(I didn't fly, I was lost)

She chuckled "Anju varsham kalichu ippa dan kandu puducheengala?"

(You found yourself only after five years?)

"Enna kandu pidika dan un kitta vandiruken."

(I am yet to find myself that is why I am here with you)

Shivangi took a deep breath. She can't melt. She should not, but how can she resist when he looks at her that way and uses that base voice to say such intense words.

At least years ago she was ignorant to the physical impact he had one her. Now, in the confined space of the car, the air getting colder by the minute, she could actually feel him on her even though he was sitting many inches away from her.

Shivangi turned away from him and sat straight. She had enough things that bothered her today, she is not going to add more to her plate.

Shivangi looked out of the window at the full moon. How beautifully the moon lightened up the whole world. Can't she let small light lit up her happiness instead of letting worries cloud her?

"Ride polama?" she asked

(Shall we go for a drive?)

"Okay..." he said and gestured to the driver

"Driver kooda va?"

(With driver?)

"Naan drive panra state la illa ma. Exhausted."

(I am too exhausted to drive)

"Appo naan drive pandren."

(Let me drive then)

"Neeya?" he looked suspicious

(You?)

"Naan kathukitten. Adigama drive panradhu illa, but licence iruku." She said as if that is supposed to make him feel better.

(I know to drive. I don't drive though. I have license. )

"Chinna round vena polama naane drive pandren."

(Shall we go short distance ? I will drive.)

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Appo naan drive panna koodadha?"

(So, you don't want me to drive?)

"Illa ma... adhu... practice illa dana."

(No...I... You are not used to it)

She shrugged. "Night dana."

(It's very late at night)

Ashwin helplessly handed over the keys to her as they both moved to the front seats.

"Epdi?" she looked at him proudly as she managed to start the car after three failed attempts and moved it slowly.

(Isn't cool?)

"Paathu ma."

(careful)

Ashwin wouldn't have worried as much his exhausted mind if he had driven. Now, he was literally sitting on the edge of the seat.

"Ma, third gear maathu." He instructed.

(Shift to third gear)

"Ipdi dana?" she drew in the air the gear position.

(Like this?)

Ashwin looked at her with wide eyes. Was she kidding him? He took her hand in his and placed on the shaft to change gear. Ashwin didn't take his hand off hers in fear.

"Medhuva..." he said. "Second ku va." He instructed even as he changed gear with her.

(Slow... Switch to second gear...)

"Right ah left ah?"

(Right or left?)

"Right." He said.

(Right)

When she clearly tried to turn to left, he cried, "Right ma!"

(Right)

By the time the car reached back to the front of her house, Ashwin was sweaty with panic.

He let out deep breath of relief. Shivangi began laughing looking at his state.

Ashwin leaned back on the seat and looked up at the roof breathing in and breathing out.

"Unnala mattum dan enna idhu ellam enna panna vekka mudiyum."

(Only you can make me do all this)

"Appo appo enakaga vum edachu panna tappu illa."

(It is okay to do something for me once in a while)

Ashwin realized he has still not left her left hand and their hands were on gear. He closed over his hand on hers and entwined their fingers.

"Enna pannanum nu mattum sollu, naan unakaga enna vena pandren."

(Tell me what you want and I will do it for you)

Ashwin smiled at her genuinely. He noticed her smile was fading away to be replaced by a serious look.

"Naan kalyanam pannika poren."

(I am going to get married)

Ashwin mentally swore at the declaration. He wanted to speak to her about it. It is one of the reasons why he was here, but he didn't know how to broach the topic. Minutes with her sounded too precious that he wanted to enjoy it a little more before diving into deep matters.

And what does she mean by this? Is it really true that she has accepted another proposal? Was Pugazh right? Can she? Will she?

Shivangi deducted the panic in his face, she slowly revealed. "Yaara kalyanam pannanum nu enaku innum decide pannala." He looked relieved. "Amma appa ku asai, enakum idhu right time nu dan tonudhu. Kalyanam pannalam nu miudivu panniten. Enaku unga help venum. Enakaga pannuveengala?"

(I have not decided who I want to marry. My parents are excited. Even I think it is right time. So, yes, I want to marry. I want a help from you. Can you do it for me?)

"Enna pannanum?"

(What do you want me to do?)

"Onnu ungala marakavainga, illa manikavainga."

(Make me forget you or forgive you)

***

That's actually a very interesting chapter. I liked it.

Regarding Update : Updates will be every 2 or 3 days. Today is Thursday, next might be on Saturday or Sunday. Same applies to Me Before You as well. Nothing much is gonna change unless I have unexpected interruption in schedule (Like last weekend when I was busy) 

Anyone excited about FRIENDS Reunion or Broken but Beautiful 3?

I am looking forwards to watch them both.