Lonely
Johnny closed the curtains over the window with a rough sigh. "What a beautiful evening," he grumbled, "Very beautiful, and I'm all alone."
"And now, who can be blamed for that, I wonder?" Psycho Doughboy wondered, his sarcasm venomous.
"I didn't ask for your fucking opinion," Johnny hissed.
"I know," Psycho Doughboy quietly cackled, "Just thought maybe it was a question worth asking, since you seemed to be in a thinking mood tonight already."
There was a knife already brandished in Johnny's hand, and he decided that his answer would best be said by turning the blade so that the light caught it. Although not backing down completely, Psycho Doughboy took a wary step back. "You can't hurt me!" he shouted.
"I can try," Johnny retorted.
"Now, now, there's going to be none of that," the third voice cut in, "Nobody is going to hurt anybody."
"Oh this killjoy again," Psycho Doughboy sighed, "I thought you'd shut up since Eff and I tore your little head off."
"No," Nailbunny replied simply, "All you did was give me more mobility." Both Johnny and Psycho Doughboy knew that by now, though. Nailbunny's head, floating midair by some miracle, turned to Johnny. "C'mon, Nny, let's talk. Just us."
"You can't get rid of me that easily," Psycho Doughboy insisted.
Johnny shrugged, and stabbed his knife through Psycho Doughboy's middle and into the floor so that he couldn't move. "Can't I?" Johnny asked with a glare.
"That's not very nice, Nny," Nailbunny advised.
"Whatever, it can't hurt him," Johnny pointed out, "And now he won't follow us."
"Even so..." Nailbunny hummed, doubtful.
"What did you want to talk about?" Johnny asked.
"Mostly, I wanted to defuse the situation."
"Oh."
"But I also want to talk to you about what you said, too," Nailbunny continued.
"About it being a beautiful night?" Johnny wondered, then sighed, "Yeah, cloudless; you can see all the stars."
"You know what I meant," Nailbunny sighed. When met with Johnny's blank stare, he added, "About being lonely."
"I said that I'm alone, not lonely."
Nailbunny's head cocked to the side, which was hard to notice considering he was just a head. "You like being alone?"
"Tch. Of course," Johnny confirmed, but he brought his hands up to his arms, rubbing them as if they were cold despite the fact that it was late Summer.
"You're lonely, Nny," Nailbunny insisted, "I think this could be a good moment to reflect."
"What do you want me to do?" Johnny asked, "Buy another rabbit, feed it once, and then nail it to the wall?"
Nailbunny flinched. "N-no."
"Then what? What am I supposed to do?"
Nailbunny paused. Johnny couldn't tell if it was just hesitation, or a general loss for words.
"When was the last time you didn't feel like killing someone?" he asked finally, "You even tried to kill that girl you liked. Why?"
Johnny was speechless. The question made him scowl with rage, and yet, he couldn't help but let it echo in his mind. When was the last time you didn't feel like killing someone? "I guess I don't remember," Johnny admitted, his voice more of a murmur than his intended growl. He cast his eyes downward. With a sigh, he added, "I already knew being alone was my fault. You didn't have to rub it in."
"Nny, I can't reassure you in any way that it's not your fault, but I can help you try and get better. That's why I'm here," Nailbunny told him, his voice gentle, "So you absolutely cannot think of anyone you don't want to kill? Not one?"
"If it helps, I don't want to hurt Devi anymore," Johnny offered.
"No, I mean somebody you never wanted to hurt in the first place," Nailbunny explained, "Maybe even someone you don't want other people to hurt either."
Johnny sucked in a breath as realization hit him all at once. "Yeah," he confirmed, "Yeah, I know who that is."
Johnny thought he saw nailbunny smile, even though the rabbit's expression never really changes. "I knew there had to be someone," said nailbunny warmly, "I know I don't know much of your life outside of this house unless you allow me to know, but I knew there was someone. Now, what about them makes them different?"
Johnny dwelt on that statement, letting a long pause drag on while he thought. What was different?
"Nny?" Nailbunny prompted, hoping that he hadn't lost Johnny in the middle of their conversation. Johnny had a feeling Nailbunny did not like it when their talks got cut short.
"I don't know," Johnny confessed, "I guess it's just that I think he has a chance, and I don't want him to end up like me."
There was that ghostly smile-that-isn't on nailbunny's face again. "That's quite nice, Nny!"
Johnny shrugged. "I don't really want anyone to be like me," he pointed out, "So I guess it really doesn't make sense why it's different."
"Do you know what love is?" Nailbunny asked, "All forms, I mean."
"You mean romantic and platonic and all that bullshit?"
"Yes."
"You think I love him?" Johnny asked, "You don't even know who I'm talking about!"
"We share a mind, Nny," Nailbunny reminded him, "I know who you're talking about. And I know what I'm talking about. You should listen to me."
Johnny sighed, and glared at nailbunny, not having the strength to admit nailbunny was right, but knowing it was true.
"If you're really that lonely, Nny, Squee lives right next door," Nailbunny pushed.
Johnny almost felt bad, going over to his neighbor's house. Any bump in the night frightened the poor boy, and Johnny knew that he himself scared the boy more than he'd like to. Standing outside of the window Squee now kept cracked open slightly for him (Squee said that it was better than the alternative, which was Johnny shattering the window open), Johnny debated just leaving him alone. Then again, he swore he could see the faintest movement inside of Squee's room, so he curled his fingers under the window sill and pushed it up.
Squee jumped and squeaked from the middle of his room, clutching Shmee close to him. Then, he blinked as he processed who it was who had just thrown his window open. "Oh, it's you."
"Yup," Johnny confirmed, doing his best to smile kindly at the boy. Squee's eyes grew wide at the sight. So maybe he'd just keep the smile small, or maybe he wouldn't smile at all, though, admittedly, Johnny found it hard not to in Squee's company. "Why are you still up?" Johnny wondered.
"Just can't sleep," Squee muttered, "Why are you still awake?"
"Same reason," Johnny answered.
"Thought so."
There was a pause. Finally, an annoyed growl broke the silence. "Ask this man what he wants so he goes away. I don't like him."
"Fuck you, you stupid bear!" Johnny hissed.
Squee whimpered and cuddled Shmee closer to his heart. "He didn't mean it!"
"I didn't come here for any reason anyways," Johnny sighed.
"Then why are you here?" Shmee interrogated indignantly.
"I- I don't know," Johnny admitted, "I sometime just hate being in the house."
"Why?" Squee asked.
"No one to talk to except myself," Johnny shrugged, "At least, nothing meaningful. All my guests are always begging 'Please let me go!' or 'Don't kill me!' and I never get a good conversation."
"Do you live alone, Mr. Nny?" Squee asked.
"There's plenty of people in the basement, and there's nailbunny and the doughboys."
"But those people aren't your friends, are they?" Squee asked.
"Nailbunny kind of is. At least, he is if he isn't me," Johnny corrected.
"So why don't you go visit him?"
Johnny shook his head, "He still might just be me. I don't want to talk to myself all night. I don't even like myself that much." Another pause. This time, Johnny broke the silence. "We're friends, right?"
"Um..."
Johnny laughed bitterly. "Maybe that was too much to ask." He thought to himself, Friends with the murderer who keeping breaking into his house to borrow things... Why'd I even consider it?
"Well, I guess so."
"What?"
"I guess we're friends, Mr. Nny," Squee repeated, "You always come over and talk to me, and no one else really talks except Shmee. I guess that makes us friends."
"Oh." There wasn't much else Johnny felt he could say to that. "That's pretty screwed up, kid," Johnny told Squee, "I mean, I like being your friend, but you know, I do think it'd be better if you could find other people- better people- to hang out with besides me."
"Are you still scared I might end up like you?"
"Always."
"I won't."
"Good," Johnny sighed.
"Mr. Nny, do you get lonely a lot?" Squee wondered.
"More than I'd like to admit."
"Me too."
"Well, once I finish clearing the tunnel between out houses, you can use it whenever you want," Johnny promised, "Just mind the corpses."
Squee whimpered. "Corpses?"
Shmee advised, "Don't forget who you're talking to."
"I agree with the bear this time," Johnny said with a nod.
"Yeah. I remember," Squee promised, "I never forget!"
Johnny cocked his head to the side, thinking. "You know, maybe I should just leave."
Squee shoved a hand over Shmee's mouth as the stuffed bear began to agree. "You're leaving already?"
"Probably safer for you that way."
"But I still can't sleep!" Squee argued.
Johnny looked at the boy. "What should I do about that?"
"You can kill monsters, right?" Squee asked, "I mean, you kill people, so I'd make sense."
"Of course I can kill monsters," Johnny answered, "Even easier than killing humans."
"Then if you see any monsters in my house while I'm asleep, you'll kill them, right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Johnny replied with a laugh.
"You could just ask me!" Shmee yelped, "I already do that for you!"
"I know," Squee told the stuffed animal, "But two is a bigger number than one."
"This is true," Shmee relented.
"See you later, little Squee," Johnny waved from the window, "I'll keep watch from my window and make sure that no monsters gets in while you're asleep."
"Thank you," Squee called softly, "Bye."
Having returned to his house, Johnny sighed as he slid to the floor into a sitting position. His smile was already waning. He put his head into his hands. He still felt the same. That was supposed to help. Why didn't it help?
"Nny? Is everything alright?" Nailbunny cooed, floating over to him.
Johnny just stared blankly at the floor.
Nailbunny quietly noted, "You don't feel better, huh?"
"I'm still lonely," Johnny whispered.
"Oh, Nny..." Nailbunny doted.
"At least I know somebody isn't," Johnny sighed, a wan smile appearing on his lips as he cast a wistful gaze through the window facing Squee's
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