Chapter Twelve.
Ladies and Gentlemen, If the link works I present Ivan....aka Ian Somerhalder.
Wolf rode to his apartment first, switching from his bike to his beat up old truck. Morgan would most likely have bags and they wouldn't be able to take much with them on the bike. He drove to the hospital and went inside to get her, finding her still beside Iris in the ICU.
"I'm here to take you to your place," He said gently.
Without a word she stood from the chair and leaned over to kiss Iris on the forehead. The sleeping child didn't stir and Morgan hesitated a minute before turning around and walking out the door. Wolf followed.
She didn't say a word as they rode in the elevator to the ground floor, or as they walked to the car, the drive to her apartment was silent as well. He considered asking her if she was okay but decided against it. Even the ride to her floor was silent.
"I'll just be a minute," She said as they entered her apartment.
"Take your time and pack stuff to take to the club when Iris gets out."
For once in the years since he'd known her she didn't argue. She went into the living room and he followed as far as the door way, leaning against the wall he watched her begin picking up selected toys from the floor.
He wasn't sure what happened, one minute she was picking up toys and the next she dropped to her knees and let out a terribly cry. He jumped and she double over, the dam finally breaking and the sobs taking over her body. He hesitated a minute before rushing around the couch and dropping to his knees next to her and pulling her into his arms.
She went willingly, burying her face against his chest and almost instantly soaking his shirt with her tears. Her small frame shook so hard he was sure he could hear her teeth chatter and he squeezed her a little tighter.
"Shh, calm down." He urged.
"I....I....I can't." She wailed, her breathing so erratic he was scared.
"Morgan, it's okay."
She shook her head against this chest and sobbed harder, if that was possible. He winced, he didn't know what to do for her. Carefully he maneuvered them onto the couch so she would be more comfortable.
"It's all my fault, I'm a terrible mother." She said.
"No, you're not. It's not your fault."
"Do you know what her life has been like? She has no father, no grandparents, no family other than me and look where I got her, shot."
She burst into heavier sobs, face pressed against him. He turned his head to rest his chest on the crown of her head. He didn't know the story of Iris's father or grandparents so he tried the only thing he could think of.
"Iris has uncles, tons and they love her. Lacy, Zeke, Ty, Demon...they all think she's great. She's a good kid, she's not lacking anything."
"She should have had a better life, I should have given her more."
He didn't say anything, figured there wasn't a point and it was best just to let her vent. When she finally pulled away and wiped her eyes she looked like a mess.
"I was going to be someone, you know?" She asked with a small sniff.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I was going to school a good one too."
"You know, I don't think you've ever really told me where he father is. Or your mother that you speak about, you woke up in my bed crying for your mama and I don't know why."
"You really want to know?"
"Of course I do," he said.
"I've only ever told Lacy about my mother, I've never told anyone about Iris's dad."
"You can tell me."
"My father ran off when I was three, on Christmas eve. I didn't really ever notice I didn't have one, mom was great. I couldn't have asked for a better mother. We were as close as we could be, she was my best friend."
"What was her name?"
"Iris," She admitted.
"I see."
"Anyway, mom worked hard and saved money to get me into a good college. I did my part but keeping my grades up, I spent all of high-school buried in the library. No sports, no hobbies, no friends, no boyfriends. Instead of dances I stayed home with mom and we watched movies, I didn't care I loved spending time with her."
He couldn't help the small smile, it was so easy to picture her as the nerd in school. He was a year or two older than her but he had never been the book smart kind, even still he bet he'd have noticed her. She took a deep breath and continued.
"Anyway, I had been in school two years when mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. There was nothing to be done and she was always in so much pain. I quit school to be with her and for three years my life revolved around her. I never left her side, I just couldn't. When she died I was so lonely.....I had nobody."
"You didn't have any family?"
"No, mom was an orphan and I never met anyone on my dads side. I was twenty three and I'd never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed....I was so stupid and so scared. After moms funeral I was so lost, I went to a bar.......and I....I met a guy..........I........threw away everything in one night. I threw it all away just to be held.....by a man I didn't even know."
She had seemed somewhat collected until that moment. She broke into more sobs and buried her face in her hands. He reached out and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, despite their differences he felt bad for her.
"You don't have to keep going," He said, pretty sure he understood now.
"No....I want too. Unless you don't."
"It's okay, keep going."
"The next morning I was so ashamed, but he.......he bought me breakfast. I stupidly thought that maybe that night meant something to him. He asked if....he could see me again and I said yes. I just.....I wanted someone in my life, I didn't want to be alone."
"Hey, everyone gets lonely sometimes. Losing a parent has to be hard."
"He was older than me, he was in his forties. He would call and we would meet somewhere, after we'd have sex he'd leave.......I knew it was wrong, knew I should stop but it was the only human interaction I had. I was working at a move theater and I was in debt, being with him.....made me feel like I had something.......even though I didn't know anything about him."
"Did....did he pay you?" He asked gently.
"No, he never even bought me a gift......this went on for a year, he'd call we'd meet then he'd leave......I felt so used and cheap but I convinced myself that maybe.....in his own way he cared about me.....I got pregnant, with Iris. When I told him he was furious, he told me to get an abortion immediately..........I was crushed and I realized he didn't really care for me."
"He didn't want the baby, bastard." He said under his breath.
"He stopped calling and I didn't hear from him again, when I was about five months along I tried to find him. I wanted him to have one more chance.....to be a part of the babies life but....." She stopped.
"What? You can tell me."
"He was married. He had three kids one of two of them were younger than I was and one was my age.......I packed my bags that night and I left. I moved here and got a job wherever I could, mostly floating but.....I don't want Iris to know what men can really be like. I don't want her to know that her dad was.....that kind of a man."
"Any man that doesn't step up and take responsibility for his child isn't much of a man."
"He didn't sign on to be a father," She defended.
"You didn't sign on to be a mother, that's no excuse."
"Men leave all the time."
"Not all of them," He insisted.
"The point is....Iris is paying for my mistake. We were poor, I signed on with the wrong crowd and now......she may be dying....I.....I'm a poor excuse for a mother," She sobbed.
"No, you're not."
"I am!" She cried.
"You're not, you're a hard worker, you're stubborn I'll admit but a hard worker. You're intelligent and kind and......"He trailed off, realizing where his thoughts were trying to go.
"And what?" She asked, forcing her tear filled eyes to meet his.
"Surely you have to know.....how beautiful you are." He said, brushing her hair from her eyes.
She didn't reply but he could see in the deep brown depths of her eyes that she really had no idea. He couldn't resist reaching out and wiping away a stray tear with his thumb, up until that moment he'd only ever seen her as a problem. Now, he saw her as a human being, a mother, a woman and an attractive one.
"You really are beautiful," He said.
"Thank you."
His hand still rested against the side of her face, her cheek was soft and smooth beneath his palm. His thumb moved to trace her lower lip on it's own, so full and soft. Taking a deep breath he pulled her forward and sealed his lips over hers.
She came easily enough, her hands resting on his chest but not pushing him away. What started as a soft gentle kiss to try and lift her spirits, turned to a deeper one when he realized she was kissing him back.
He pulled way briefly to slide the few inches closer to her, he moved one leg to the couch so he could kneel and use the height difference to pull her body against his. His hands funneled in her hair, keeping her head where he wanted it, needing that little bit of control over her.
Her lips moved against his as if they'd done so a million times, a quiet desperate edge to her grip on his shirt and the press of her body. He knew in some part of his mind this was wrong, she was in a fragile place and he was taking advantage. He was no better than the bastard who ran out on her.
"Morgan.......wait......"He said breathlessly between kisses.
She didn't wait, didn't stop, didn't give any indication she heard him at all and finally he gently gripped her shoulders to push her at arms length.
"What's wrong?" She asked, eyes still red and puffy, her lips now swollen to match.
"I can't do this," He said.
"Why?"
"Because you're lonely, you're scared and you don't need this now."
She bit her lips and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, clearly misreading his words. She turned and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Morgan..."He tried to touch her and she shrugged him off.
"I'll just finish packing," She said.
"It's not what you think...."He said.
"I know you mean well but......" She shook her head.
"What?"
"I'm not a child, I'm not some stupid lost puppy who doesn't know what to do. Since the day we met you've treated me like an obligation, like someone you have to take care of and an inconvenience. I'm not, I'm a grown woman I know what I'm doing and I know what I want when I want it......I don't need you to tell me."
He was going to protest, had every intention of defending himself but as she stood to go collect her things he realized she was right.
He had treated her like a burden, he told her whose house to clean and when, what parties to attend, who to ride home with, where to live, what to drive and even though he wasn't a parent that never stopped him from telling her how to raise Iris.
He treated his men with respect and equality but Morgan had never received that. When she stood up to him at any time he lashed out as if she were a child acting out that needed reprimanded. He'd been controlling her since he hired her, he told her what to feel and when to feel it. Even now, he decided where things went from here because he couldn't let her have control over him.
He'd been alone as long as he could remember, he never worried about anyone else. Until she stumbled into his life with a tiny baby and suddenly someone needed him, true he'd taken it way too far but it was too late now. He made her and her daughter his priorities, he made them his problem and now she wanted her freedom, he was learning he didn't want her to have it.
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