( chapter xxii. EXCUSES, EXCUSES )

— 🌙 —

She felt terrible about what she had done. Truly, at the bottom of her heart, she did. Not just at the bottom of her heart, but all of heart. She felt terrible about everything she had done and she knew that she was a terrible person, she knew that what she had done was terrible and that she had completely ruined any chance of a new relationship with Calypso. She knew that. She knew that she had wrecked everything that night when Calypso stared into her eyes with this newfound fury that she had never seen before.

Angelina knew that. And she felt like shit, she knew that she had completely crushed the girl and wrecked everything. That was all she did. She ruined things and hurt people, she hurt Calypso continuously and it seemed like she wouldn't stop. She didn't mean to, it was never any intention of hers to hurt the girl or anyone else, but it was all she did apparently. And it was terrible and she felt like utter shit because of what she had done.

But what was she supposed to do? Say no to Fred when he asked her to the Yule Ball? Let him mope and go alone? Yes, probably. That should've been the answer and she should've turned him down lightly, but she hadn't. She had agreed. Angelina brushed it off for Calypso, she thought the girl would be okay even if Angelina had a date. Calypso didn't actually want to go with her, Angelina had just offered a good solution and excuse to say no to other people who might ask her. That's what she told herself, but it didn't seem that way when Calypso looked at her with such betrayal.

That seemed to be the only thing she was good at. Betraying Calypso. Even when all she wanted was to bring the girl up and continue a good friendship, she ruined everything. She betrayed the girl again and again and treated her like utter trash yet still expected Calypso to be there when Angelina wanted her to be. She expected for the girl to accept everything Angelina sent her way that's what she wanted but that was not reality.

Calypso was better than Angelina. She always had been. She had always been more courageous and didn't fear who she was, she was always so proud to be a Black even with all the scrutiny attached to the name. She stood tall with her head held high as people gossiped about her and whispered that she could be just like her uncle; could turn out just like her uncle. She was brave enough to get past it while Angelina knew she would crumble under their nasty words.

Angelina was not brave. She never had been. It was a wonder she was even placed in Gryffindor with her crippling need to be held in a good light, to be liked by people. To preserve the image she projected onto people. No one could know the truth about her. How she liked girls instead of guys, how she thought of herself before others. God, what a character she was.

It wasn't a good reason at all, it really wasn't, but that was her truth of the situation. She hurt people and she didn't want to. But it happened so regularly because she disregarded others, waved them away with the thought that they would be okay with her terrible decisions. She foolishly wanted them to be, but that was not how reality worked. People were not always okay with what you did to them, and they shouldn't be.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do!" Angelina cried to Cho, a look of pain on her face.

She didn't want to lose Calypso, but she had. She had lost her before and probably lost her again now because she was foolish. Everything about it was foolish and she knew that. She knew she was to blame both times. But Fred actually wanted her. Fred asked her to the Yule Ball and wanted to be her date, really wanted to, while Calypso just agreed. Casually. She said yes because it was easy and would create more good blood between the two of them. Not because she actually wanted to go with the girl, not because she actually wanted to be with Angelina. That had nothing to do with her Calypso agreeing to be her 'date' to the Yule Ball.

But Fred wanted her, and she felt special. She felt special and wanted. And that was a great feeling to have.

"First off, apologize," Cho began to list, "Second, leave the girl alone."

"Cho..." Angelina whined.

The Chang girl rolled her eyes, "Look, Ang, you hurt her. When I told her about how you were with Fred for the evening, it looked like her heart broke. Literally. She was crushed, at least enough to have to leave the damn ball. You chasing after her and giving her these meaningless excuses only made it worse."

"I was only trying to explain my side. I didn't mean for, I didn't want to hurt her," Angelina pouted, eyes watering at the thought she had made everything so terribly bad between them.

"I know, I know that, but she was crushed. Calypso wanted to go with you and be your date to the ball and you crushed her. And what was your explanation? Fred asked and you said yes because you didn't want him to go alone? That's a terrible excuse," Cho went on.

"But it's the truth," Angelina tried miserably, the knowledge that she had fucked everything up becoming so much more apparent through their conversation.

"And I know that, but it's a terrible reason to ditch Calypso. You know, the girl who was supposed to be your friend. But instead you left her for a guy that you're acquaintances at best," Cho continued.

"He wanted to go with me. He wanted me, I liked that," Angelina explained.

Cho looked at her sternly, "Don't explain this to me, I'm not the one you hurt through all of this. Tell Calypso – she's the one who deserves this."

Angelina looked down in shame again. She had fucked up everything because that's what she did; that's what she would always do, apparently. "I know."

"Look, I'm sorry for being so hard on you, but it's what you deserve for all this shit," Cho cursed, "But I'm still your friend and I'm gonna stand by you even if I don't agree with anything you've done because that's what friends do."

She tried to smile at the girl. "Thanks," she croaked out, enjoying the feeling as Cho wrapped her arms around her. Holding her so close and comforting her even though she definitely did not deserve it. It was probably the last thing she deserved.

They stayed there for a while, allowing Angelina to regain her composure. But then it was time to go to dinner, it was already late enough and they were probably an hour later but whatever, so were a lot of other people. The two walked together to the Great Hall together. For the most part, her face was down but peered up every now and again. It was silent for the most part between them, every now and again they said something but other than that, it was completely quiet.

But, as she glanced up again, and saw Calypso Black leave the Great Hall alone and her breath caught in her throat. It was the first time she had seen the girl since Christmas, the first time she had a glimpse at the girl who looked utterly betrayed by her that night and she knew why. She knew that the girl had every right to be.

And Angelina froze. She was completely frozen, unable to think as her mind focused on the girl and the words that left her mouth that night. How angry she was, who furious she had been at Angelina – how she was still so mad at her. Angelina knew it.

Cho noticed that her friend had stopped, staring at one girl and her sight went over to see what Angelina was staring at. The Chang girl sighed and nudged Angelina to get her out of her frozen state. "Go, talk to her," Cho urged.

"I – I can't. She hates me, she doesn't want to talk to me," Angelina brought up the excuses to stop herself from going over and attempting to explain herself.

"Oh, fuck off. Go over and try to explain yourself," Cho rolled her eyes, "And make sure to apologize another fifty million times!"

Angelina swallowed, allowing herself to be shoved in the direction of Calypso. She looked back to see the expression of Cho's face, knowing from just the one look that she wouldn't be allow to eat until she talked to Calypso. Squeezing her eyes shut and mustering all the courage she could find in herself, Angelina's feet moved in the direction towards Calypso. She had to explain, she had to apologize and try. She had to at least try.

She felt so small as she approached the girl, muttering out only a single, "H-Hi."

But it caught Calypso's attention. The Black girl turned around at the sound of her small voice with eyes filled with anger that diminished slowly. She was trying to calm herself and Angelina felt herself gulp again. "I – can we talk, Calypso?" she asked timidly.

"No," Calypso said lowly, the anger very much apparent in her voice. She turned around to walk away but, as a last resort, Angelina grabbed her shoulder to pull her back to look at her.

"Calypso, I'm sorry. I am. I never meant to hurt you or anything and I'm so sorry that I did hurt you. I just," Angelina immediately began firing.

The younger girl looked at her with a stoic expression, eyes glowering at her. "Just what, Angelina? You know, I was so excited to start again with you. I was so excited to go to the stupid dance with you and then you fucking left me for this guy. So just what?" Calypso questioned.

He just made me feel special. That was the truth but it was not the response she would ever tell Calypso because it would never be the response the girl would like. "I just – I didn't think you'd care. I thought you'd be happier that you wouldn't have to put up with me for a whole night," Angelina attempted.

Calypso rolled her eyes, "Why the hell would I think that? Why would I think that about a friend of mine – someone I actually enjoy spending time with. No, but I guess we were never really friends if you could do that to me, huh?"

"No, that's not – I never thought that. I thought we were friends too, I wanted to be your friend again," Angelina fired out, "He just – I felt..."

"What? You keep starting these things and not wanting to complete them but just tell me. I deserve the truth," Calypso pointed out.

Angelina sighed, closing her eyes, "He made me feel special. Wanted. You only agreed because I brought it up and would've never asked me to go with you as friends. The thought would've never even crossed your mind. But Fred...he asked me. He wanted to go with me."

Calypso scoffed, uttering words that completely broke her, "He probably just asked you because you're so easy. You didn't have a date and he didn't want to go alone, not because he actually wanted to go with you."

Angelina stopped right in her tracks again, mouth slightly agape as she stared with widened eyes at Calypso. The worst part; the girl didn't even seem to feel guilty about what she said.

― 🌙 ―

THE TIME FOR the Second Task came sooner than Calypso even realized. Maybe a week after Angelina attempted to apologize. Calypso knew what she had said, knew that it hurt Angelina so much (you could tell just by the look on her face) but she couldn't find it in herself to be guilty.

She did, at the bottom of her heart, and she knew that. But she could justify it properly. It was well-deserved and probably true, no matter how terrible it was. Calypso knew that Angelina deserved it, of course she did, and she was so angry. Somehow, putting it like that made it a bit easier for her.

Maia, who had become a much more prevalent figure in her life ever since Christmas, walked with her to the location here the Second Task was being held. "I mean, I'm so excited to see it! Emilia is supposed to be saving us seats near the front," she gushed about the event.

Calypso nodded along. "That's nice. I think Birdie and I are sitting near the back with Lee," she informed her cousin about her own plans.

"Oh, what about the twins? Fred and George?" Maia asked innocently, not knowing about the anger that bellowed inside of Calypso at the mention of one of those people. Fuck Fred. It wasn't even his fault, he was innocent in this whole mess, but still; fuck Fred.

Calypso shrugged, "I think they're sitting closer to the front with George's girlfriend and her friend. You know, Kiara and Maddox?"

Maia nodded but frowned a bit, "But I thought they didn't know where Maddox was? I don't know, but I thought I heard something this morning about how Maddox was missing – and I didn't see Ron or Hermione at the Gryffindor table. It's really weird."

"I don't know, I guess they all just decided to get away? I mean, Maddox hasn't exactly been hiding how much she dislikes the tournament or anything," Calypso then sighed, "But they'll show up eventually, so don't worry about it."

"I guess you're right. But I wonder what they're doing to top the last task. I mean, it's not really easy to be dragons – dragons, Cal!" Maia cheered.

Calypso smiled at the girl despite her dislike for the tournament and all that it stood for. "Yeah, I guess so. It'll be spectacular, though," she said to delight the girl, who nodded enthusiastically.

They eventually reached the location where the task was being held. "A lake?" Maia questioned when they got there, but Calypso just shrugged, confused as well.

"Don't know, guess we'll find out soon enough," Calypso said before waving, "Bye, see you later!"

Maia gave her the same farewell and Calypso looked around to see if any of her friends were already there. It only took her a few moments to find Lee, who always seemed to stand out in a crowd. He just had that aura. She smiled to herself and walked up the stands to go be next to him.

"Hey!" she exclaimed when she reached him, seeing him grin wildly at her.

"Calypso, you're here! Isn't this great? Man, the champions are so lucky – already knowing what the second task is when we're still in the dark," Lee went on before stopping for a moment, "Sorry, I'm just really excited for this. Like, insanely excited."

The Black girl chuckled at her, "I can tell. Who you rooting for today?"

"Harry, obviously. I mean, I think it would be treason if I wasn't rooting for my own house champion. But, I mean, if he doesn't win then I at least want Cedric to beat the others," Lee rambled again, "Like, no offense to the other schools – having Viktor Krum as a champion is way cool and everything – but like, we have the Boy Who Lived and this perfect boy."

"You have an argument prepared for this, don't you?" Calypso asked lightly, looking at all the excited spectators of the event along with the judges. One, in particular, looked very nervous about what was to come but she could barely remember who he was. Someone the Ministry employed to judge, looking at the water with an anxious look in his eyes as if he were afraid of something. Weird.

"Um, duh. So many people have tried fighting me on this and I can't take their bullshit. Obviously, I'm right," Lee said.

"Of course you are, Lee," Calypso said sarcastically.

He sighed forcefully, "You know, your sarcasm is not appreciated here, Cal, nor has it ever been. So stop with all that, thank you."

Calypso grinned at him innocently enough. "Where's Birdie?" she questioned, looking down at the crowds of people pouring in but unable to spot her best friend.

"Beats me," he shrugged, "I saw her earlier at breakfast, but that was just briefly. I thought she'd walk over here with you."

"No, I walked here with my cu-other friend, you don't know her," Calypso cut herself off, almost spilling a secret that no one ever needed to know. It was better for people to forget that Sirius Black had a relationship with Nadia Greene. It was better for the girl to hide under that name. She didn't need the baggage that came with the Black name, the baggage that Calypso carried every day.

It wasn't like she had much of a choice, being burdened with the name after her parents' divorce. She knew her dad thought it was for the best, substituting Black for Lupin, but she disagreed. Black came with a terrible reputation and many people compared her to her uncle. And while she loved her Uncle Pads, others did not.

In fact, many people hated him. Hated and feared him because he was known as a mass murderer. To them, she was already beginning to look like him. Placed in Gryffindor with a Slytherin parent (although Remelda was nothing like her own parents or any of their ancestors, and still Calypso had a dad from Gryffindor) and a spirit that did not abide by the rules that pureblooded Slytherin families held.

Although, she didn't understand being held to that standard when it didn't affect her life. That was not her mother and it had never been, at least as long as Calypso had been alive. Yes, some things that Remelda was forced to do was placed upon Calypso. Like learning French and the piano, holding her head up high through all the mud her name was placed through. Through all the rumors and whispers about her. The inability to allow herself to be treated as if she were dirt.

Because Calypso Hope Black was not dirt nor would she ever be. Calypso was better than that and she would not allow herself to be lowered to that standard by any person, no matter how close she used to be with them. It was why she would never allow herself again to forgive Angelina. The girl didn't deserve it. No, she hadn't earned that right even after Calypso had given it to her.

"Oh, Calypso has a secret friend?" Lee teased, smirking, "Is this special friend who you meet during the night and stay in their bed? Is this a friend who does special favors for you?"

Calypso wrinkled up her nose in disgust, "Ew, no. Definitely not, Lee. And they will never be like that. Ugh!" She could never think of her own cousin like that, it was absolutely disgusting.

"Hey! That's what people will assume when you tell them that," Lee defended himself.

"Actually, I think that's just you, but whatever helps you sleep at night," Calypso said back.

"Oh, that's – wow," Lee said, shaking his head slightly, "That's good, really. Wow. And I highly doubt that I'm the only one at Hogwarts who has a dirtier mind."

Calypso shrugged, hearing footsteps bouncing up closer to them. She was already turning around when the person said, "Hey, sorry I'm late. Angelina caught me."

She said the name Angelina in disgust and Calypso rolled her eyes the mention of the girl. "What did she do now?" Calypso asked, looking at Birdie who arrived.

"Wait – more drama's happened with her? I thought the two of you were cool now, like we're friends again kinda cool," Lee broke in with a confused expression on his face.

"Not anymore," Birdie answered, "She completely fucked up everything again."

Calypso elbowed Birdie. "We were supposed to go to the Yule Ball together before she bailed," she answered.

Lee seemed to grow even more confused at that. "But she went with Fred..."

"Yeah, I know. Well, more like I figured that out once I was there. Cho was the one who told me and then Angelina tried to explain herself but whatever," Calypso further explained before turning back to Birdie, "What did she say?'

"Just how she was sorry and wanted to try and be better. You know, bullshit," Birdie lightly informed her.

But before they could continue on anymore, Dumbledore's voice was heard over the loudspeaker: "Welcome to the second task. Last night something was stolen from each of our champions," Calypso's eyebrows furrowed at that, "A treasure of sorts. These four treasures, one for each champion, now lie on the bottom of the Black Lake. In order to win, each champion need only find their treasure and return to the surface. Simple enough. Except for this, they will only have one hour to do so and one hour only. After that they'll be on their own."

"They stole from the champions? How is this legal?" Calypso questioned.

"Well, I mean, the Ministry is involved and probably authorized this which means that it's totally legal now," Lee explained before shrugging, "That's my guess at least."

"Great," Calypso commented dryly.

"You may begin at the start of the cannon," Dumbledore continued right before the cannon fired.

Everyone watched as three of the champions dived into the water gracefully while Harry was pushed. It was time for the second task to start.

4 comments for the next update please. as a reference, I start writing chapter 23 on Friday.