( chapter xxxviii. THROUGH HER LAST YEAR (PT. 2) )

✦

JANUARY –

Back at Hogwarts, Calypso felt empty without her family around. The laughter, the simplicity of her dad's home and the remodeling of 12 Grimmauld Place into a livable place people wanted to gather at. Her Uncle Pads finally getting his life back and looking alive and not just a glorified ghost with a light tan to his skin and freckles appearing on his cheeks, a mirthful glint in his eyes that hadn't been there in well over a decade as he sat with his hand interlocked with Nadia's.

He was happy. He had a second chance at life and he was taking it and making it his own. Sirius even sang along to the Christmas music that played, though only softly and not very long. Remus, with tears brimming, said that used to sing so loudly and so obnoxiously to music when they were younger. It made her almost cry as well.

And Nadia looked happier than Calypso had ever seen her. Of course she had joys in her life; she had her children and Calypso, she had her work and her friends, but there was always a piece missing. There were the deaths of her friends, the imprisonment of her ex-boyfriend, the complications of trying to raise two toddlers without notice. But she was happy, though now she looked happier than ever. She was thriving.

Remus was happy as well. They were all happy, really. Nymphadora came around many more times and dropped very obvious hints that she fancied him – all that he ignored, by the way – and he still went to the bookshop with a small smile on his face. He laughed with his friends and even though there was something dark coming their way, a war brewing in the darkness, he could still find the light.

Of course, Regulus had been busy. As a free man and finally not a cat a majority of his time when in London, he went everywhere. He didn't care who saw (well, he did, but for the most part he didn't) and he was himself. A life was given to him that he didn't have; a whole new world.

Because while he had been free through all his years, he really wasn't. When he was a child, he was trapped by his parents, and only became free when he faked his death. A cat and human alike, he hid in other states and in his Anigmus form. He went everywhere and anywhere but never using his real name so it never felt like it was truly him being there.

Like the others, he missed out on so much and was now taking his second chance as if it were his last meal. Savoring it yet devouring it; not letting anyone else take it away from him. Never again.

He had the reconstruction of his old house – now a home, a true home – to take care of and was finishing off school at a muggle university, wanting to actually get a job instead of just stealing or depending on money from Remelda when he went traveling. No, it was finally time to get a real job. But first came university.

Leo thought it was nice to finally have someone who understood his schooling around and they bonded quickly. Everyone else looked on with fond smiles.

But in January, Calypso had to go back to school, a place she didn't really want to be. It was strange because before, even though she would miss her family, she was rearing to go back. Be with her friends, learn, but now she only felt sadness. A melancholy filled her bones as she entered the Hogwarts Express to return to the school.

All she wanted was to stay with them, and in a few months she would have her wish, but that was too far away for her. Many months still had to come and go before then and so much could change, she had learned that much throughout her time at the school.

She boarded the train after hugging them all goodbye and receiving kisses on the forehead from her uncles that she took with over exaggerated eye rolls so that they knew she wasn't being sincere when she said she hated them. Remus looked so proud of her; his daughter all grown up, finishing her last term at Hogwarts.

Walking down the corridor of the train, she looked inside each cart to try and find her friends. As she did, she noticed Maia – who had bordered much quicker than she had, as if looking to escape the family – was standing with Draco Malfoy. At the sight, she couldn't help but frown.

Maia and Draco had never spoken before. At least, not to her knowledge. They had nothing connecting them; Draco was a Slytherin who had the expectations of every child under the parents who served the Dark Lord and Maia was her smart, little cousin. The one who enjoyed reading about history and had an awesome music taste.

Part of her wanted to eavesdrop on the conversation; to hide somewhere and just listen in. She wouldn't even have to get close thanks to her super hearing (probably the only perk of being a werewolf, she was sure), but no. That was wrong even if she was curious and a little suspicious of them. This was her cousin and she wouldn't violate this.

So, she walked up to them and when they noticed her their eyes widened and Draco quickly scrambled away without even fully looking at Calypso. Maia, who was looking to conceal her anger, almost glared at her cousin when Calypso reached her.

"Didn't know you knew Malfoy there," Calypso said casually, lightly even though there was an underlining snark. He was family – regretfully, but he was – but that didn't mean she had to be kind when talking about him. As for as she was concerned, Draco was a knob who was too far up his parents' ass to realize that their ideals are complete and utter bullshit.

"What do you want, Calypso?" Maia asked bluntly, completely ignoring what the Black girl had previously said.

Calypso raised her eyebrow, even more suspicious of the pair than before. "I just saw you talking to him," she admitted, "I just never knew that you two talked."

"We don't," Maia told her, "We just bumped into each other and were – you know – well, he likes to make a big deal out of things so we just snapping at each other."

"Uh huh," Calypso said, not believing a word that came out of her mouth, "Sure you are."

"Honestly, I don't know anything about him," Maia told her, "Just let it go."

"Fine," Calypso snapped at her, not liking the girl's attitude. Maia had changed over summer and Calypso didn't like it. She was rude, withdrawn, and always spending the night at Emilia's, never wanting to be around her family and Calypso was completely done with her.

With a final huff, she continued pass the girl in search for her friends and when she found them, sat down with a glare still in her eyes. Birdie was the first one to notice since she was sitting opposite of her.

"Wow, what's got you with all this murder eye?" Birdie asked her playfully.

Sighing, Calypso confessed, "It's Maia. She's just – she's being such a bitch and I just – ugh! It makes me so mad!"

Sloane moved to rub her back in a comforting motion with a frown on her face, "It'll be fine. She's just a teenage girl like us, there's a lot of emotions and hormones going around."

"Yeah, maybe," Calypso muttered, not finding it true but not knowing what other explanation to give for the girl's behavior.

✦

FEBRUARY –

"I talked to Fred last night," Sloane told the two of them as she sat down for breakfast, slathering jam onto her bread.

Birdie looked taken back by this as she frowned and sent a questioning look the girl's way. "How? Fred can't Apparate onto campus and you can't Disapparate off."

"Through fire chat, obviously," Sloane told them with a 'duh' tone, "We used to do it once a week at the beginning of the school year. You know, before he got all busy and just couldn't make it anymore."

The last part was added bitterly and the two other girls sent sympathetic looks to Sloane. But Calypso sobered up quicker than Birdie did and asked the girl, "What'd you two talk about?"

Sloane shrugged, "Oh, you know, school. Christmas break. We talked about why I didn't stay with him and everything – he was still upset about that. I mean, we haven't really talked since Christmas when I went the Burrow with him."

Birdie sent her an incredulous look. "Wait, really? I can't imagine doing that – Lee and I send so many letters back and forth you wouldn't believe it."

"I know," Sloane sighed, "But I didn't really wanna talk to him while he was still being an ass about my decision to stay with Cal because he was ignoring him and he wasn't getting over himself so we haven't really talked at all. But he sent a letter to me last week asking if he could chat last night to talk about our relationship and everything."

Calypso almost froze at those words. Even though she had never dated anyone – and didn't really want to either because dating meant sex and that was...that was gross. She didn't understand how anyone could want to have sex – she knew that 'we need to talk', especially about the current relationship, almost always meant that person A was breaking up with person B.

"How did it go?" Calypso asked cautiously, ready to jump over the table and console her friend in a hug if she needed it.

"Good, actually," Sloane smiled and Calypso relaxed. Looked like she didn't need to murder a certain redhead, "I didn't think there was any hope for us anymore. It's not that I don't wanna be with him anymore, but there was a lot of shit and I didn't really think he was ever gonna speak to me again, but he surprised me. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it's a good start."

"Did he apologize?" Birdie asked. It was light but all knew the underlying meaning of that she would kick his ass if he didn't own up to being an ass.

"Not at first, no. He just wanted to talk about Christmas, like I said, and wanted an explanation about my feelings and why I didn't stay with him. So I told him. Everything, like really – everything. I explained it all to him and how he made me feel and he apologized and now we're working towards a relationship again," Sloane told them.

"So wait," Birdie cut in, "Are you, like, not together right now?"

"We're...on a break still. I can't fully be his girlfriend right now because of how things went last term and he agrees. I don't think we'll fully be together again until we graduate so it's not anymore long distance," Sloane admitted, "But I'm glad that we're working things out."

"And we're happy for you too," Calypso smiled at her friend, "It's good to see the two of you talking through things. You know, communication is key."

Birdie scoffed, "You act like you have experience being in a relationship."

"I know a lot about relationships even without being in one," Calypso defended herself, "And I know that step one of being in a good, healthy relationship is good communication. The second is getting over your insecurities and accepting that you deserve love."

"How nicely put," Birdie sarcastically said and Calypso jabbed her side with her finger, causing the Bishop girl to yelp.

"Well, I think that you're exactly right," Sloane swooped in with a smile on her face, truly happy, "Communication is key."

"See, I knew what I'm talking about," Calypso smiled, sending a look towards Birdie who just rolled her eyes.

"I never challenged you, I just pointed out that the self-proclaimed love doctor has never actually dated anyone before."

✦

MARCH –

Calypso sat alone in the Gryffindor common room long after everyone else was dead asleep and wouldn't bother her. She waited for the face of her uncle to appear out of the flames as her leg bounced up and down quickly as a nervous twitch.

It wasn't that she was nervous that her uncle would stood her up – she knew that her Uncle Regulus was a punctual man and if he said that he would meet you somewhere at a certain time he would be there – it was just the last time she had used the fire chat to contact someone at 12 Grimmauld Place her mother ended up dying.

And she knew this was very different. She knew that she was going to get to talk to the person that she wanted to see on the other side without problem. She knew that there was no immediate danger happening right now, no urgency in her contact. This was completely different but the paranoia still remained.

She hated it. She hated that she couldn't even do this simple thing; have a nice chat with her uncle through the fire without her heart racing as the memories swirled in her head, reminding her of the scenario last year. But it wouldn't fade and her leg bounced and she could hear her heart pounding so loudly in her chest.

As she stared, waiting, she swallowed and realized just how dry her throat was. She didn't have to wait long as the head of her uncle appeared through the flames, a smile on his face that she forced herself to return.

"Hey, Ginger," she teasingly greeted him, watching as he rolled his eyes at her.

"We are done with that. I am never becoming Ginger again, okay? I have had enough time as a cat for a lifetime," he told her sternly, though they both could hear his joking tone.

"I'm pretty sure you lived a whole lifetime of a cat as Ginger," Calypso pointed out, "I mean, I would be surprised if you hadn't."

"Oh, I definitely did," Regulus said, "I went through all my nine lives there and lived longer than any other cat I've seen."

"Awe, did you make friends with other cats as Ginger," Calypso cooed.

Regulus instantly sent her a murderous look. "No, of course not! Never and you better not spread any lies about me doing that to anyone ever."

"Of course not," she lied to him, giggling like a madwoman as she did so, "I would never do that to my poor uncle."

He grumbled to himself and she felt the need to laugh at him so more before calming down. "How's the house going?" she changed the topic, seeing as his features instantly lit up.

"Oh, wonderful, darling. The downstairs is completely finished now – I even got that portrait of mother done after months of trying. And thank Merlin for that because I was just about to go insane from her screeching at odd hours of the night," Regulus' eye twitched as he thought back to those lovely memories.

Calypso grimaced as well. "I hated when that happened. I mean, what even woke her up?"

Regulus snorted, "As if she ever fell asleep in the first place, but my guess if the ghost."

"You have a ghost?" Calypso raised an eyebrow, an unbelieving tone coating her words.

"Of course not, darling. I burned the spirits out ages ago. Can't trust moving portraits not to infest their soul into your house after you burn them, you know?" Regulus rhetorically asked and Calypso was surprised at how much trouble he went go to get rid of the past, "I was just kidding before."

Calypso made a noise that Regulus ignored before he continued, "Anyway, I'm working on the upstairs and your room."

"Oh, my room!" Calypso interrupted him, interested more now that it involved her.

"Yep! I don't know what color to paint your walls, though. Sirius is demanding that I paint them red – for obvious reason, of course – but I was thinking of a soft yellow. I don't know why but I always just associate that with you. That and sunflowers, which are also yellow. But of course I don't want to anything without your input because it will be your room that you're going to stay in every time you come to visit me," Regulus said.

Calypso thought about it. "No to the red," she said quickly, having had enough of the bloody color during her time at Hogwarts in the red tower. It was everywhere, mocking her, and she was over it. "And I say go for the yellow. I mean, the worst that can happen is that I don't like it and we repaint it over summer when I get back."

Regulus beamed, "I'll go get the paint tomorrow then," he told her resolutely, "Oh, I think you'll love it. I'm planning on keeping it rather simple, no big patterns or anything. Basically more of a clean slate for you to decorate more when you finish up school."

"Sounds lovely," she told him honestly, looking forward to the end of school even more than before. Merlin how she couldn't wait to be back with her family, back to the house that terrorized her before that she now adored, back to her uncles and aunt and father. Away from the wicked castle, away from Dumbledore and his shadiness. But free again. Free again.

✦

APRIL –

Calypso could admit her faults. She held grudges, she kept too many secrets from her friends and family, and she had a hard time telling people how she really felt unless she was angry. She bottled everything inside of herself because she never wanted to bother someone with her problems unless the explicitly said they wanted to know what was on her mind.

And like her father, she carried around her guilt. Maybe it wasn't really her fault, maybe no one was to blame other than the murderer himself, but she still felt so terribly guilty over her mother's death. It was her fault; she was the one who agreed with Harry's plan, she was the one who used the fire chat to talk to Leo, she was the one who gained the Order's attention and led them to the Department of Mysteries. Her mother was there because of her.

Because of her and because of Harry.

Logically, she knew that it was wrong to blame the boy for her mother's death. Logically, she knew that he was probably blaming himself as well – just as he had with Cedric and the old judge, Maverick Holloway. Yet, when she continued to think of the reasons they all ended up at the Department of Mysteries that night, she always ended up at Harry.

Harry was the one who barged into the common room claiming that her uncle was missing – that he had a vision of it and everything. Harry was the one who was insistent that they had to leave immediately, to rash to think everything through. Yet, he was never the one use his brain when he could fight with his wand.

And Harry was the one who lead them all there; he was the one who got them in trouble. All of them. He was the one who told Snape of Snuffles. He was the one who forced them to go along; no he didn't force them, he told them straight up that he didn't want them to come along. That he, and he alone, should go but they didn't let him.

But still. They all ended up there and the ending was the same; Remelda Walburga Black died that day and she couldn't through her emotions see Harry as not one of the reasons why. It was her entire reasoning for why she hadn't spoken to the boy all year.

She couldn't stand looking at him. He was alive and her mother was dead. He was moving on and didn't care because he never knew Remelda, all he knew her as was Calypso's mother and the woman who let Dumbledore take him to the Dursleys when she could have taken him in. Her death didn't affect him like it affected her, he was fine without Remelda in the world but Calypso just couldn't handle it some days.

Still, her cold shoulder didn't stop the Potter boy from pulling her into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom when she was on her way to class. Unable to help herself, she gave him a slight glare when she realized it was him who grabbed her arm and forced her into the bathroom.

"What?" she asked him, her tone mostly even but with a little edge of coldness to it that she couldn't keep in.

He recoiled instantly but straightened himself back out. "I just – I did something really bad and I need some help."

Calypso raised an eyebrow. Last year it would make perfect sense for him to come to her with his problems. He actually listened to her as she logically laid everything out, but now they didn't talk anymore yet he was still insisting on coming to her.

"Why? We aren't really friends anymore," she said, seeking an explanation to sate her curiosity.

"I know that," he snapped back at her, "You've made that very clear with year, so I know that. But I don't want my friends to know because it's really bad."

"Well, what is it? You aren't going to make me guess, are you?" Calypso asked, though the last part was more sarcastic than anything.

Harry swallowed, looking incredibly guilty which meant that it had to be bad. "I got a Potions textbook this year that was already used. It...it had some spells in there that I didn't know and never really practiced before, you know? And then yesterday I was following Malfoy –"

"Why were you following Malfoy?" Calypso cut him off. It wasn't surprising for him to suspect Malfoy of something, he always seemed to think that the boy was up to something terrible, but last year she could ride that off as paranoia radiating off of his obsessive behavior over the boy. This year, though, she couldn't help but suspect that something was off as well.

He looked at her, cheeks turning pink at being called out on that fact. "You're going to think it's stupid, everyone else does. I just, I can't help but think something's going on with him," so it as just the paranoia again, "On the Marauder's Map, he always goes to the Room of Requirement and disappears and I don't know what he's doing there."

"Maybe he just wants some time alone," Calypso suggested, though she didn't buy it herself. "Never mind, what happened yesterday?" she asked him, trying to get them back on track.

"Well, I was following him and we ended up in one of the bathrooms. He was crying and when he saw me, he shot out a spell so in the heat of the moment I used one of the spells from the textbook and he got really hurt," Harry looked down in shame, "I didn't mean for anything bad to happen – I had never even heard of the spell – but he's...he's in the hospital wing now."

"Shit," Calypso breathed out, leaning against one of the sinks in the bathroom, "Fuck. Is he going to survive, you think?"

Harry nodded, "He'll just be in recovery for a few days. There was a lot of blood."

Calypso swallowed, looking at the younger boy. "So why are you telling me this?" she asked him, wanting to know why he would even tell her. If she had done something like this she wouldn't want anyone to know and wouldn't actively seek out another person to tell.

"I don't know," Harry admitted, "I just, you were the one I went to with hard stuff like this last year. And I don't want any of my friends to know because I don't want their opinion of me to change for this, but you...you've already made it clear that you don't like me, so what's one more mistake for you to know about?"

"That's a horrible train of thought," Calypso quickly commented, a frown on her face as she thought of just how true the statement was though. She didn't like him – she couldn't forgive him and move on from last year yet – but she didn't like how he phrased it either. She just didn't like any of this at all.

"But it's true though, isn't it?" Harry asked her and she couldn't dispute it. "That's what I thought. So that's why I'm telling you this because I need to tell someone but I don't want my friends to know about this."

They stayed silent for a moment until Calypso said, "You need to get rid of the book."

"What?" Harry asked her, looking up at her again.

"The textbook," she clarified before restating herself, "You need to get rid of it. If it has anymore spells like that, it's dangerous and shouldn't be left around for others to find and read."

"But it's really been helping me in Potions, I would fail without it," Harry protested.

She rolled her eyes, "You only have another month, give or take, you don't need it anymore. But the book is too dangerous for you to just be carrying around. What if you lose it? What if someone else finds it and reads it and uses that spell later? What if someone dies from it? You need to get rid of it."

Harry mulled it over for a second, his guilt creeping out again more as he nodded, "Alright. I'll...I'll get rid of it tonight."

"Good," Calypso told him. She knew that last year this would be the time when she gave him a smile as well, but that didn't seem right anymore. At least, not right now.

✦

MAY –

Dumbledore was dead.

It happened at night in the Astronomy Tower. No one knew why he was there and not in his office at that time of night, all that they knew was that he died and fell out of the tower, splattering all on the ground.

All anyone knew was that the Death Eaters had found their way into Hogwarts – someone had created an access point for them. All they knew was that the Order was there and they were trying to fight and push the Death Eaters out again.

But everyone knew who killed Albus Dumbledore. Everyone knew that Draco Malfoy and Maia Greene – two people who should have had no connection – ended up in the tower with Dumbledore with Death Eaters circling them. Everyone knew that Malfoy was supposed to kill him, he was the one with his wand raised, ready for it, but it was Maia who came in and finished the job.

Everyone knew that Maia Greene was a Death Eater and a murderer; she killed Albus Dumbledore in cold blood.

And two years ago no one would know her connection to Maia Greene. They would be strangers who just so happened to stand next to each other as they said goodbye to their mothers and boarded the train but nothing more. But this year, like everything else, that had changed and everyone knew of her relation to Maia.

And again, Calypso was associated with a murderer. Though, this time, the murderer in question had actually committed the crime.

Everyone knew that Malfoy and Maia were gone, Apparated away with other Death Eaters to Voldemort so that they could revel in their victory some more.

Everyone at Hogwarts, that was. The rest of the wizarding world was ignorant to the murder of Dumbledore. They knew that the headmaster had been murdered but the details were unclear seeing as no reporters were allowed on campus to report the death.

But her family knew. They all knew, some were even there that night fighting. They all knew what happened. So when Calypso got off the Hogwarts Express and ran into her father's arms there was no question as to why. Remus only held his daughter tightly, gripping her as if his life depended on it.

"Calypso," her Aunt Nadia's voice tore her away from the warm embrace of her father. She turned to see how ruined the woman looked, "Is it – is it true? Did she kill him?"

Her voice broke when she asked the question and Calypso hated seeing her aunt like this. Leo wasn't even around, still at home, so she only had Sirius who wrapped an arm around her.

And as much as she wanted to deny it, to relieve her of this guilt and tell them all that no, Maia was not a murderer. Maia was innocent and Dumbledore had been killed by someone else, she couldn't because that would be a lie. Because Maia did murder him and she couldn't deny that fact because it made her want to cry thinking of what could have happened to Maia to make her do this; make her a Death Eater, make her a murderer.

So, she nodded – clearly, distinctly – and watched as that little ray of hope in Nadia's eyes break as she crumbled leaving Sirius to hold her up. As it happened, the arm her father had around her shoulder gripped her tighter and brought her close again.

"Let's go home," he whispered in her ear after a moment, noticing all of the eyes on the family. All the whispers they knew were occurring. They were talking about Maia; talking about how she came from a family of murderers and they would all turn out the same – Calypso would turn out the same.

She could only nod as her dad led her away. Away from the whispers and the stares, but not away from the guilt. She clung onto it, not able to let go because it was all her fault. Maybe if she tried harder with Maia, maybe if they talked more during school, maybe if she listened to the girl more this wouldn't have happened.

Sadly, she knew from experience that she would never get to know the alternative.

authors note
me? changing canon again and having maia kill dumbledore instead of snape? hell yeah.

so i've had that planned for like a year now and i'm finally writing it which is great. i know that some of you are probably going to be upset because i changed this fact but i don't care. it's all gonna work out in the end. oh, and if you wanna see maia's journey to being a death eater check out BITTER which is hers and leo's story.

and finally, i know this was heavy on the whole blaming harry for remelda's death thing, but i just wanna say that these aren't my feelings towards sirius' canon death in the series. i don't blame harry for his death, but calypso is wrapped up in her own grief so she projects some guilt for her mother's death into him.