( chapter xli. CITY OF DREAMS )

✦

          The warmth of the cup heated her hand to almost an uncomfortable temperature but she didn't move it. There was a breeze around her, reminding her how late in February it was as it caused her hair to brush into her face which she moved back carefully. The sweater she had on was not thick and definitely not suited for the cold that was causing chill bumps on her hairs under the clothing, but she kept it on after the disapproving look of her uncle. Anything to spite that man after he refused to give her firewhiskey last night, which he knew that Calypso wanted.

Sitting at the table with her were two of her best friends, Birdie and Sloane, who looked equally joyed to be there. It had been a while since they had gotten together, work and the general order of the world at the moment keeping them apart. Sloane, of course, did not look like Sloane Clark but another young woman around their age, having to have gone into hiding due to her status as a bloodtraitor.

Unlike with Calypso's family, Sloane was a vulnerable target. Voldemort and his crew were aware of the power that the Blacks still possessed and stayed away, but Sloane was a lone target and would be easy to take out if she was caught. So, she hid in plain sight; with many Polyjuice Potions that they all had been brewing for her.

Birdie always looked nervous when they met somewhere not deemed safe, like one of their houses or the joke shop, and today was no different. No, she looked much more nervous than usual, which made Calypso concerned but she chose to ignore it. It was probably just the general paranoia that they were all feeling at every moment of the day.

"How have you and Fred been?" Birdie asked Sloane, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Good," Sloane told them, "We've been staying with his family, especially since the end of July. You know, when Ron went on the run and the wedding got burned."

Calypso did remember that day, and the one following after. The trio who had stayed the night with them went on after getting some more supplies and they hadn't heard anything since. No one had. Remus had told her that they were planning on naming Harry the godfather of the baby, who had yet to be born.

Tonks was well pregnant now, a big belly and heart full of joy. They were having a baby boy and Calypso felt her heart explode at the prospect of a little brother. They were naming him Edward – Teddy for short – and she thought that it was an adorable name and couldn't wait to meet him. She was already buying stuff to spoil him with.

But still, part of her couldn't help but think, but hope, that she would be able to watch him grow up. Oh, how she didn't want to leave him. She loved her brother, even if he hadn't been born yet, but with the war going on...she had to think about the possibility that she wouldn't be around to watch him grow up. But Remus and Tonks would even if she wouldn't, and that comforted her.

"Is the Burrow even safe after that?" Birdie frowned, looking at Sloane who just shrugged.

"For the most part, I guess. I mean, there hasn't been another attack but there hasn't been a need; no one knows where Harry and the others even are, so why go after them?" Sloane asked.

Calypso made a noise of disagreement, "Actually, it would be a good tactic to get them out of hiding if they took someone in Ron's family hostage. That could make Ron lash out and make them hero up and save whoever it is."

Sloane and Birdie looked at her for a moment before making noises of agreement. "That could work," Sloane admitted, "But let's be thankful that they haven't done that."

"Agreed," Calypso said back, sipping at her own warm coffee. "When do think they'll show back up?"

"Whenever they found what they're looking for, I guess," Birdie responded, "Or, you know, maybe they never will."

Calypso scoffed and shook her head at that, "No, they'll definitely come back, Harry doesn't have the heart to let the world be destroyed just because he doesn't wanna do something. It doesn't go with his character."

"Well, you know him better than we do," Sloane said, "But I hope it's soon. Ginny hasn't sent back a letter to them since Christmas, they haven't heard anything and they're getting worried."

"Snape is headmaster there now, it makes sense that he's not letting anything get out or in. Maybe something happened first semester and they're cracking down more," Birdie suggested, though with a sympathetic look for those who were still at the school during this time.

"Cho said that she hasn't seen any student at the Three Broomsticks since December," Calypso brought up, "I think they're trapping all the students into the castle. Like you said, nothing getting in or out."

"Merlin," Sloane breathed, slumping back into her seat, "I feel so bad for all of them."

"Me too, but we can't do anything about it. We just have to wait," Calypso said.

Birdie groaned, "I hate waiting. It's like, we're waiting for our death and I just wanna get it over with."

"Birdie!" Calypso hissed, looking at her friend with wide eyes, "We aren't going to die. We're...we're going to hit and we're going to win and survive."

The thought of her best friend dead made her heart sink. She couldn't...Birdie couldn't die. Birdie couldn't...no. She wouldn't even entertain the thought.

"You can't promise me that I'll live," Birdie scoffed, "We all have to make arrangments. Just in case, you know. I'm not saying I wanna die, I'm saying that a lot of people will and if I'm one of them, I just wanna get it over with. I hate being in the waiting room."

"You aren't in the waiting room, you're living the rest of your life," Calypso countered.

Birdie only rolled her eyes, "A short one, maybe."

"No," Calypso shook her head, "No, we – you – are going to live a long life. And we're going to go to Greece and France and wherever else we wanna go. Remember?"

The Bishop girl stared at her, not saying anything even as Calypso's eyes pleaded with her to agree. "Yeah," Birdie eventually croaked out, "Yeah, maybe. I still wanna see all of those places."

"Then we gotta live," Calypso smiled at her.

Slonae, who had been quiet, finally looked back up at them with sad eyes. "I've always wanted to go to New York," she told them, "See a Broadway show, eat the pizza there, go to Time Square. Be there when it's dark outside and still see how the buildings are all lit up."

"The city that never sleeps," Calypso commented and Sloane nodded at her.

"My city of dreams," Sloane then laughed, "I used to – when I was younger – promise myself that one day, when I got out of the house and away from my parents, I was going to move to New York. Become an actress or something. Now, who knows if I'll ever have the chance?"

"Why don't you move there now?" Birdie asked her, "It would definitely be safer, you could even use your own face."

Sloane shrugged, "I can't leave Fred, or you guys. I can't take the cowardly way out and leave right before a war breaks out. I can't save myself and not fight just so I can live my dream. If it's meant to be, I'll live to see the other side of the war, if it's not...well, it's not."

No one said anything for a minute after that. They all just thought for a moment, all thinking about what they would be leaving behind if they died. Calypso would be leaving her family, her baby brother, and she would never be there to watch him grow up. Wouldn't see his first steps, first word, first anything. If she died, she wouldn't see Teddy, but at least he would have his parents. Remus and Tonks would survive and Teddy would be fine.

His parents would tell him about her, about his much older sister, and how she died to protect him. Protect his future, ensure it. So it would be okay. Even if she died, it would be okay.

✦

ONCE A WEEK, someone in the family hosted a dinner for them all to get together. It was a reassurance that they were all alive (even though they listened to Potterwatch every night and listened to Lee list all the names of those they had lost) but also to create good memories during the dark time.

It was started by Nadia in August after the disaster of a wedding at the Burrow (or at least the ending was a disaster) and the news that Tonks was pregnant. And it was nice, it eased worries and they all had a good few hours together.

This week, Remus and Tonks were hosting it so Calypso found herself at her father's house. Her second home for a time before it became her permanent residence for her last year of school. It was weird to see how she became a visitor to the house again after a year of living there.

Remus and Nadia were in the kitchen since they were the best cooks. Tonks could make a mean grilled cheese but nothing else. Besides, she was too clumsy to be let into the kitchen without supervision, she would be the one who surely knock over something onto the stove and start a fire. But Remus and Nadia loved to cook together, every time they got together they always seemed to share recipes and baking tips.

Calypso, unlike her father, did not inherit the natural cook gene. Like her mother, she was terrible in the kitchen. With many trial runs of a recipe she could be somewhat good at it, enough that everyone would be able to each her creation, but there was no talent in her ways. She hoped that Teddy would be like Remus and be able to cook.

"How's school?" Calypso asked Leo, not really paying attention to the radio. Lee's voice played in the background as Potterwatch was heard around the house, though she didn't concentrate yet since he was just giving general updates.

"Pretty good," Leo shrugged, "My maths class is shit, but that's about it."

"Hey, don't use that language here!" Tonks scolded him before leaning closer and whispering, "At least not when Nadia could hear you."

"Even when she can't, I still can!" Remus yelled from the kitchen. "And I can tell her everything."

"You wouldn't dare!" Tonks shot back, leaning back in her seat as Sirius and Regulus laughed at the scene before them.

Sirius, though, turned to Leo and asked, "Like any of your electives though?"

Leo nodded, "I have art this semester. It's pretty fun and the teacher is nice. She kinda just lets us do our own thing."

"Birdie took art one year," Calypso reminisced before grinning, "She was terrible at it. Didn't even master how to make the paintings real. Not that they would've wanted to come alive."

Regulus cackled but still sought to scold her, "Calypso, you can't say that! It's rude!"

"But it's also true!" Calypso defended herself, "And it's not like I ever told her to her face...I just thought it."

"Did she think she was good?" Leo questioned, a smile on his face as his eyes crinkled from when he had been laughing.

Calypso shrugged, "Eh, she didn't think she was terrible but she didn't think she was the next Picasso either, so there was no reason to give her a reality check."

They all laughed again and before anyone could say anything else, Lee's voice turned grim over the radio, "And now, on a darker note, let's get to those we have lost. Joshua Adams, Emile Aldaire..."

Everyone listened intently at the names before listed, not even a breath was heard. The room was still as Lee continued to list them, and then...then he paused and everyone could hear Lee's breath hitch over the radio. "Ramona Bishop," he whispered and Calypso felt her heart drop.

No.

That couldn't be right – Lee didn't just say that. Lee...Lee didn't say her name. She had just seen the girl last week, she was fine then. She wasn't on the run, there was no reason for her to be killed. No, it was a mistake. Birdie was dead – Birdie couldn't be dead.

Her mouth was agape as there was a pause over the radio and then...then he continued. Continued listing more names like he hadn't just stated that his girlfriend was dead. Like Calypso's best friend was dead.

Calypso felt herself sink further into the couch, eyes not blinking as water gathered in them. There was a buzzing in her ears as her heart pounded inside her chest, not even registering that everyone was looking at her with such sadness – such sympathy.

Her best friend was dead. Birdie was dead.

"No," she choked out, the tears finally coming out as she sobbed. Leo rushed to give her a hug and she clung onto him as if he were an anchor. It was just like when her mother died...no, it was different.

She had been present when Remelda died, she had been there and seen it happen. She had held her breath because her mother had been murdered and one wrong move or noise and she would be gone along with her. But this was different. She could sob openly for one, and Birdie didn't die next to her.

Birdie died somewhere else, Birdie had been killed and she didn't know how or why. Birdie was dead, her best friend was dead...but it couldn't be true.

All she could was sob and hold onto Leo, who was running his fingers through her hair and trying to calm her and comfort her. The others were going to gather around her and hold her, all knowing what it felt like to lose their best friend. But this was new to her and she couldn't stop crying.

Birdie was dead. Ramona Bishop was dead, murdered probably, and Calypso hadn't even been aware that there had been a reason for her murder. Wasn't even aware that someone was after her.

She saw the signs, the paranoia, and she did nothing, and now her best friend was dead.

✦

LEE SENT A letter the next morning, wanting to meet up the next day at the Bishops' old bookstore so that they could talk about everything that had happened. So that they could discuss the death of her best friend and his girlfriend. But not only her death, but the deaths of the whole family; or at least, everyone who had been in the store that day.

And she agreed. She had to talk to someone, she wanted to talk to someone who knew Birdie. Her family was comforting and nice and they helped, they were everything she needed when Remelda died, but they didn't know Birdie. Birdie was her best friend, everything they knew of her came from Calypso herself, not from the dead girl.

Then there was she was; two days after learning that her best friend was dead and standing before the bookstore where she worked and died. The place she hated more than anywhere else in the world, the place she always wanted to leave but never did, the place she considered hell on earth...that was where she died.

Beside her was Lee, who didn't look any better than she did. They were both distraught over the news. "When did you hear about it?" Calypso asked him, her voice rough from all the crying she had been in the past few days.

"Then, when I read it for Potterwatch," Lee replied as they started going closer to the newly abandoned bookstore, "I – I didn't compile the list that day, I had just gotten off my shift at the bakery and George was over, so he did it for me. He didn't tell me, but I should've known something was up; he said he was sorry and then stayed for the whole session."

"I was with my family, for our weekly dinners," Calypso said back to him, sniffling, "We were joking about Birdie and-and how terrible she was at art..."

Her voice cracked and she took a break, knowing that if she didn't she was going to cry again which she didn't want to do. After taking a moment, she continued, "Then you said you were gonna start reading the list, so we stopped talking. I didn't, I couldn't believe you when you said her name. I thought I imagined it."

"So did I when I read it," Lee let a single tear fall down his cheek, looking at the front door of the place he used to pick Birdie up from, save her from her boring life there.

"How...How did they die, Lee?" Calypso asked him in a whisper, "Why did they die?"

Lee closed his eyes, not answering her question at first. Then, "Birdie...she sent me a letter the day before they died. She told me that they were going on the run, that-that the information her family traded to You-Know-Who was worthless now and that he'd be sending someone to kill them, so they had to go."

Calypso furrowed her eyebrows and gave him a look of confusion. "What?" she mustered, shocked that Birdie had kept this from her. Shocked that her family would trade information to Death Eaters and she knew...but why?

"I thought they had gotten away. By the way she wrote it, it sounded like they were leaving right then...I guess I was wrong. I guess they never made it out," Lee croaked.

"She never sent me anything," Calypso told him after another beat of silence.

Lee looked at the front door, burning a hole in it with his gaze. "I guess she thought she had more time."

Calypso looked down, "Do they know who exactly killed them? Or is it just the Death Eaters in general?"

The Jordan boy shrugged, "There were no eyewitness accounts. It happened at night, everyone else would've gone home by then."

"But they didn't, and it's what got them killed that night," Calypso finished, letting a tear roll down her own cheek. "God, I-I knew that she was nervous. I saw her looking over her shoulder and spazzing out and I did nothing. I thought, I thought it was the same anxiousness we were all feeling. I didn't – I didn't know..."

"I didn't know either," Lee said in a sort of comfort, "I should've, with how she held me every time we said goodbye. Like it was the last time. I thought, I didn't think anything of it, but now...now I know. There was a last time and I didn't even realize it. I didn't even think about it, I thought I was gonna see her again, I left thinking I was gonna kiss her again...and now I never will."

Calypso swallowed, trying to bite back more tears, "We were gonna go to Paris, and Greece, and Hawaii – everywhere. We were gonna travel the whole world together, go to New York with Sloane and set up her apartment because Sloane's always wanted to live there."

"I heard Paris is beautiful," Lee commented, "I always told her I was gonna kiss her on top of the Eiffel Tower one day."

There was another pause, only silence between them. Calypso hated it, hated how there was now this deafening silence between them because Birdie wasn't there.

"Last time I saw her, I promised her that she was going to live," Calypso said to him lowly, "And she told me that I couldn't promise that. Said that I didn't know and I shouldn't tell her she was going to live because there was no guarantee, but I still promised...and now she's dead. She's dead, Lee. I promised her that she was going to live and she's not!"

Lee wrapped her in a hug andthey held each other tightly, needing this not only to comfort the other personbut for themselves. Calypso closed her eyes, taking in the warmth, and let more tears slide down her cheeks because right now, all she could do was cry.

authors note
only two more chapter and then the epilogue and we're done here! i'm kinda sad but also so proud of myself for coming this far